


Camp Sanctuary

by rey_swann



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Consensual Underage Sex, Drinking, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Past Abuse, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Slight pedophelia, Stalking, Summer Camp, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), The Walking Dead References, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:51:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 126,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rey_swann/pseuds/rey_swann
Summary: Carl gets into some trouble which lands him a few months at a corrections camp. Little does he know there is a very attractive leader running the place. Will the two ever connect or will Carl leave as lonely as he came?





	1. I'm Negan

Another sigh.

Probably the fifth in the last hour as the clouds passed quickly by the window and once more his dad glared at him from the front seat, taking his eyes off the road yet continuing to drive perfectly straight down the freeway.

Two things Carl Grimes would never be - perfect or straight.

 

This four hour drive was starting to feel like four days as he glanced at his mother in the passenger seat, filing her nails.  
She'd cleaned out her purse, read a pamphlet on the place they were all headed to, pointed out odd things on the side of the road and was now giving herself a manicure and not once had she spoken to him.  
Sure, she was angry with him but she wasn't going to see him for three months so he figured she would at least try.  
Then again, had she ever?

He turned his attention beside him where 'Uncle Shane' sat, ear buds jammed up so far in his ear Carl swore he would go deaf.  
He was rocking out to some annoyingly loud song while playing air drums dramatically.  
The car was only so big and he had almost elbowed him and Judith twice.  
Carl thought back to the last time he had played an 'air instrument'.  
He was twelve.  
He wondered how he could be so calm natured and mature when one of his male role models was this guy.  
Not that he expected Shane to strike up a conversation with him anyway, even if he'd wanted to have one.  
He was only along on this trip to play the supportive Godfather and to kiss up to Rick and Lori.  
Not that he needed to kiss up to them, he was and always would be their favorite person.

Carl shook his head and turned away from them all to gaze out the window again.  
He wasn't going to miss a single one of them.  
Well, except Judith.

If they didn't get to this place soon though, he was going to scream.  
He didn't want to go in the first place but it had to be better than this torture.  
As if it read his mind the GPS announced that up ahead in 6 miles their destination would be on the left.

His next sigh was one of relief.

 

From the first time his parents told him what they were planning on doing with him over the summer and into fall, he hadn't given it another thought.  
He hadn't figured that they would actually go through with it.  
He assumed they would forget all about that and not really sign him up for sleep away camp for the misbehaved.  
It seemed really juvenile and honestly he just didn't think his parents paid that much attention to him.  
They were angry with his actions from three weekends ago but it seemed to have faded after a few days.  
The fact that they were here was mind boggling to him.

 

"Camp Sanctuary?"

Carl raised his eyebrows as he read it out loud.  
The sign looked like it had been there since before he was born.  
It also clearly had gone through some identity crises because he could clearly make out an H,I and L from the previous title.  
Who knows how many names and campers the place had seen.  
He dragged his feet out of the car to follow his parents over to where a man with a mustache was checking people in.

"I can check myself in...I'm seventeen." Carl tried.

Rick grimaced, stopping him with an arm out.

"Uh- no, Carl. We want to make sure it's all done...correctly."

That sounded ominous.

"Just go grab your bags and say bye to your sister and Shane."

Carl nodded but rolled his eyes at that suggestion as he walked away from his Dad.  
Of course all they cared about was stupid Shane.

He definitely wanted to say goodbye to shane.  
He hoped that by the time he came home, Shane had moved to another planet.  
His godfather was the whole reason he was in this mess in the first place.  
If he even spoke to Shane before they left, it wasn't going to be the sweet 'I'll-miss-you's' that his dad was referring to.  
Carl did how ever, walk back to the car to get out his back pack and duffel.  
He started to take them over to a secluded spot when he heard someone clear their throat.

"You're not gonna say goodbye to your uncle Shaney? I'm hurt, Carl. You won't see me for weeks..."

Carl stopped in his tracks his bag now dragging the ground.

"I wasn't, no." Carl bit back.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." Shane taunted. "Is that really how you treat the guy that's been there for you all of your life? The guy who taught you the things your dad should've been teaching you when he couldn't be around because work was more important than his oldest kid? The guy who you have solely to thank for not being in worse trouble than you are? There are much worse places to be than here...trust me."

Carl shook his head at the man.  
He had nothing civil to say to him.  
He hated thinking about his little sister being cared for by him.  
He didn't care that the man was like family.  
He wasn't to him.

Shane closed the gap and waited until Rick was looking over to yank him in for a hug.  
Shane's threatening breath on his ear and the controlling grip on his neck was something he'd never forget.

"If you tell anyone about what happened that night-"

"I won't."

Carl pushed him away then, wanting as much distance between them as possible and headed up to sit by himself on a hill with his bags.

 

It felt as if one month had already passed when rick waved him back down to the car.  
He stood slowly, trudging towards the small group.  
Looking at them now, maybe he should be glad he was going to be spending a few months here.  
At least it would be away from them.

His dad embraced him in a one armed, no emotions hug while his mother was smothering him now as if it just occurred to her how long he'd be gone.  
Judith kicked in her car seat as they said their goodbyes.

"Listen to the counselors here, sweetie." She said. "And don't cause any trouble."

"Yeah, don't steal any cars while you're here!" Shane prodded with a cackle, draping his arm around him again.

Rick chastised his friend but agreed with him, using it as a fatherly warning.

Carl shook Shane off as his parents left him with a wave.  
Their car pulled off and down the road.  
He guessed this was really happening.  
He was on his own now.

 

While he waited to find out what was going on, he watched as kids who obviously knew each other chatted and waited around.  
He still couldn't grasp that this was his reality for the next few months.  
He played the scene that got him here, over and over again in his head and all he came back to was kicking himself for getting in that car with Shane that night.  
He took it out on the nearest object and ended up kicking the trunk of the tree he was lingering near.  
A leaf floated down to the ground and landed on top of his luggage.  
He stared at it wondering what it was like to be free like that.  
Not being tethered to anything anymore.  
It was the first time ever that he wished he was a leaf.

 

The man who had signed them all in was gathering everyone towards a large building at the edge of the woods.  
Carl drug his stuff with him to a bench towards the back.  
The tall man introduced himself before carrying on with his instructions.

"If you haven't met me already, my name is Simon! I work with your leader and you'll be seeing a lot of me and my mustache for the next few months whether you like it or not!"

Some of the kids laughed.

"Please bring your things and join us over by the main office!"

Carl sat, only listening because he had to.  
He was also curious to meet the man who was 'in charge' for the next couple of months.  
He held the packet of useless information his mother had shoved in his hands before they left and was about to open it when the door to the main office opened.  
A man with a leather jacket, who dressed nothing like what a camp leader should look like, stepped out onto the porch, whistling a slow tune.  
He glanced at the large group of young people before he was quiet again and addressed them all in a deep, velvety yet commanding voice.

"Hi...I'm Negan."


	2. A long three months

"For the next three to six months, depending on how long your parents signed you up for, you will abide by my rules. Camp rules we'll call them,"

Carl tried to pay only half attention to this man's speech but that voice just kept drawing him back in.

"You will Listen to me and the other counselors! You will be on time to plans and events! You will adhere to the curfews and requirements of your cabin here at camp sanctuary!" The tall man paused for effect.  
"You will NOT bring ANY electronic devices onto my property, if you are caught with any they will be confiscated and mailed back to your parents! You will NOT sneak any weapons or other items or people I do not approve of onto my property! And most certainly not least you will NOT be playing any stupid jokes or pranks of ANY kind on any of the campers or my colleagues or myself or get yourself into any physical fights here at the camp, I will shut that shit down, no exceptions!"

The leader gave a serious stare to the crowd and finally he drew in the breath he'd been holding.

"Do I make myself clear?! Any questions?"

 

Carl zoned out as a meek girl in the back trembled as she stood to ask something that was probably stupid and probably was going to get snapped at for.  
As much as Carl might usually enjoy the drama, he just wasn't feeling it at the moment.  
He glanced down at the papers in his hand then around at the campgrounds.  
It was exactly like the pictures.   
There was no exaggeration in the pamphlet so he took a wild guess that their 'leader' wasn't exaggerating in his speech either.  
The young man sighed as he tried to tune back in to the lecture again.

More of the same really but the way this man talked, he couldn't help but listen.  
He swore he could drift off to a voice like that.  
The man could stand there all night and talk and he would sit right where he was, hanging onto his every word.

Soon, the man named negan finished and sent them all on their way to find their rooms.

A paper with a number, a map and 'good luck' was all they got from him.

 

\-----

 

"I'm so sorry." Carl replied as stooped to help the blonde he'd just ran into.

"That's OK." She grinned shyly, glancing at him as they gathered their stuff.

She was silent for a few minutes so he was too until she finally spoke.

"I'm beth, by the way." She blushed, standing up to shake his hand.

"Carl...Grimes" 

"I don't know what I'm doin'..." She sighed. "This is my first time here."

"That's OK. Mine too." Carl smiled.

"What're you in for?" She asked.

"I...I don't even know how to explain it." He sighed."I've got three months to tell you so how about I get back to you."

Beth giggled and Carl wondered how a seemingly innocent girl like her would be sent here.

"I look forward to it, mr.Grimes."

"You can just call me Carl. You've gotta be older than me. I'm almost seventeen." He laughed.

"I'm nineteen...but that's just how I was raised, Carl. I need your permission before I can get personal with you like that."

Carl grinned. 

"Well, you're about to get really personal with me...these are the boys cabins."

The blonde blushed furiously.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried, backing up.

"Its OK. I think the girl's are down that way and to the right."

"Thank you, Carl. And it was wonderful meeting you! See you later! I gotta get settled in!"

Carl chuckled at her panic and waved as she headed off, hoping she'd find the right way.  
Carl turned back towards the doors and followed the numbers down to the one marked seven.  
Supposedly that was his cabin.  
The door was already open and there were two boys who seemed to know each other on one side of the room.  
Carl didn't want to disturb them so he just walked over to the empty bed and began putting his stuff away.  
As he took out his things, he wondered if the other boys had noticed him.  
He felt like it was very impolite that they hadn't come to introduce themselves yet.  
Shrugging, he placed his clothes in the dresser and opened the night stand to put some small things in there but as soon as he opened the drawer a large furry appendage poked out and Carl let out a scream.  
The biggest spider he'd ever seen, crawled out and onto the wood surface.  
The two he was to be sharing a cabin with for the next few months were rolling on the ground, their laughter deafening.  
Carl caught his breath and scrambled away just as the door to the cabin flung open.  
All three looked up to see Simon, the one with the mustache, staring down the culprits with his hands on his hips.

"Now boys..." Simon said moving to scoop up the creature and put it in a leather pouch to give Carl a break.

Carl thought he was in trouble too until mustache man stalked over to the other two and focused on them.

"Do you really want to know what negan will do if you cause any more trouble like this?" One boy shook his head and clearly was afraid at the thought of their leader's capabilities.

"It's a joke, simon! c'mon! We do it every year to the newbs!" The taller boy piped up.

"Its not funny, Mr.Anderson." Simon said seriously.

He stared the two down for a moment before turning to speak to Carl.

"Carl Grimes?"

The brunette nodded, sitting up and accepting the hand shake.

"Hey, man, I'm simon. I work here. I am your- well, one of your counselors here at camp sanctuary. I wanted to come give you a friendly welcome but it appears that your roommates already have. If they do it again, Carl...please let me know."

Carl nodded again and simon locked eyes with him before glaring at the other two and headed back out.

"I'll let you get back to unpacking."

Carl stood quickly as the two boys came over to speak.

"I haven't done anything to you...why would you-"

"To weed out the wussies!" The taller boy cackled.

Carl scowled, ignoring them both now.

"Hey, don't be like that! You might be cool...I don't know. I'm Ron...and this is Mikey." 

The brunette sighed before deciding he had to be polite if they were going to get anywhere with any kind of truce.

"Carl."

"So...Carl, you like causing trouble, huh?"

 

\-----------

 

The last thing Carl wanted to do was walk with his roommates to dinner but for the first night that was what you were required to do.  
He let the two friends trail ahead and let himself slip into his thoughts not even noticing when the boy's friend Enid joined the group.  
Carl wondered how the next few months would go considering his whole day felt like a week.  
He didn't like his roommates.  
He didn't like his room.  
The only nice person he met was beth and he hoped she would be at dinner and not friends with any of this annoying group.

Before he knew it they were at the doors to the largest building on the property.  
The mess hall.  
Seriously, how old was this place?  
He followed in reluctantly and scanned the room to see a blonde sitting, hiding in her arms at a makeshift table in the corner.

Beth.

"I'll catch you guys later." Carl said off handedly not even waiting for a reply from the group he came with before heading over.

"This seat taken?"

Those blue eyes looked up at him and he gave her a sweet smile.

"Hi, mr- uh,Carl. And no, Its not. Go ahead."

Carl chuckled, swinging his legs over the wood seat.

"So...do you hate your roommates as much as I hate mine?"

She gasped, sitting straight up.

"How'd you know?!" 

"Ugh! I'd trade with you if I could!"

"Mine dumped dirt all over my bed!"

"Mine put a giant spider in my bedside table."

"...you win."

They sighed in unison.

"Welcome to camp I guess." Carl shrugged.

Beth giggled.

"Did anyone ever tell you how funny you are?"

"No...'cause I'm not"

"Well, I think you are." Beth's smile, quickly turned into a frown. "but I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe me...no one else does."

Carl was about to question her vague sentence when a loud sound rang out through the room, even reaching them in the very back.  
He looked up to see their leader standing in the middle of the room.  
It was getting pretty obvious that this guy loved being in charge.  
The man paused, waiting until all eyes were on him.

"Listen up! Those of who've never been here before, welcome to the mess hall! This is where you will eat every meal! There is an itinerary in each of your rooms! Those of you who have brought yours with you...good for you. Those of you who have memorised it...congratulations, you've impressed me already!"

Carl smirked, feeling a little pang of pride when he realised he'd memorised it, though he wasn't quite sure why.  
He didn't know this guy.  
He didn't even want to know him.  
Hell, he wasn't even supposed to be here.  
Why did he care what he thought of him.

"I will tell you all now that dinner is from six pm to eight pm! Breakfast is from six am to eight am and lunch is from twelve pm to one pm!  
Also, tonight, many of you are aware of the welcome bonfire. Feel free to show up...or not. If you don't, your options are staying in your room only! Any questions?"

Carl saw his roommate stand up and wave his hand dramatically before negan rolled his eyes.

"Anyone except Anderson have any questions?!" Negan glanced around. "No? OK, enjoy your meal."

 

Carl headed up to the front while beth stayed behind. He offered to get her some food but she claimed she wasn't hungry.  
He reminded her that it was along time until 6am but she still refused.  
He sighed feeling bad but he was hungry so he went on his own.  
As soon as he grabbed a tray he heard his roommates obnoxious tone.  
"I can't wait for the annual food fight." Mikey said.   
"Yeah, I just love seeing people covered in food." Enid piped in kissing Ron on the cheek.  
Ron chuckled darkly as Carl tried to ignore them.  
He was quickly losing his appetite.  
He took three slices of pizza and some fruit off the buffet before going back to Beth's table.

"Have you ever been to camp before, Carl?"

"Yeah, actually..." He replied to beth. "When I was twelve there was a sleep away camp in my town but it was only for three nights in the summer."

She nodded as he offered her a slice of pizza and she refused politely.

"I've never been away from home before." She said solemnly. "I miss my farm."

"You're a farmer's daughter?"

"Yep! And proud of it! I can gather eggs faster than anyone!"

Carl grinned at her.

"I believe it."

She smiled at him before reaching over and stealing a piece of pizza, The one that was for her anyway.

"I've never had a boyfriend or fooled around with boys before yet I'm the town tramp. Apparently I'm a disgrace to my father's legacy."

"Your dad's famous?"

"In our town, he is."

"Wow... But how does that-"

"My sister caught me with a married man in our town...she didn't stop to think that I wasn't the one who came on to him..."

"I'm so sorry, beth."

She shrugged.

"You know, even if Maggie doesn't believe me, at least she found me. Who knows what that man would've done had she not ran in on the whole thing."

Carl nodded, realising he wasn't the only one there by mistake.

"Well, don't beat yourself up about not having a boyfriend... I've never had one either."

Beth giggled around her bite of pizza before noticing he wasn't laughing.

"My goodness, you were serious! You're one of them..." Then she stopped herself. 

"Its OK. Say it." Carl dared.

"No...I'm sorry, just, where I come from, homosexuals aren't heard of."

"I get it..."

"I'm OK with it. Really, I am! I understand why you like men...I do too."

Carl laughed, almost choking.

"You're clearly the funny one here!"

"I am not!"

 

\------

Carl waited until his roommates were headed off to the lake before he returned to cabin 7 and settled in.   
He was glad to know that for the next two hours or so he could get some peace and quiet.  
He hoped none of the counselors minded but he didn't know any of them yet so as long as he stayed put he assumed he wouldn't get in trouble.  
He doubted anyone would notice anyway.

He smiled as he watched what little of the sunset he could see from his bed and considered other things he could do afterwards.

He pulled out a snack his mom had snuck in his bag and ate that as the room slowly became darker.

He really could spend forever here if it weren't for the people he was sharing a room with.

If he closed his eyes, for those few hours he could pretend.

 

\------

 

"Every year we have these things and every year I'm waiting for something chaotic to happen."

Negan chuckled as he dumped a giant bag of marshmallows into the big tub that was already filling up.

"Where's your sense of risk, simon?" Negan replied, swinging his bat around before a good whack on the ground.  
Only Dwight jumped out of his skin.   
being the newest member of the counselors, he just wasn't used to it yet.

"Regina, where'd you put the crackers?" He asked nonchalantly and she hopped up off the ground to find them.  
The leader grinned loving that he could still make them do what he wanted.  
It kept this crazy ship running smoothly.

"Thank you, dear!" He called jokingly and all he heard back was a distant; "Fuck you!" 

He and simon shared a laugh as they headed off towards the lake edge where the campers were gathered for the most enjoyable event they would have while at the camp.

The crowd was buzzing as simon glanced over everyone to check for any signs of distress while negan managed the fire.  
He poked at it and tossed in twigs to fuel it before rejoining his friend at their post.

"I can't believe it's been a year." Simon threw out.

"Yeah...a whole long fucking year."

"Yep."

Negan was silent as he watched the kids and simon could tell that he'd lost him in thought.

"You still here?"

"Yeah..." Negan sighed tapping the end of his trusty bat on the ground, the soil kicking up. "I guess."

Simon knew that was Negan speak for - "we're not discussing this now because it's too early in the year and we're not drunk enough."

The taller man twisted the bat back up towards him and chuckled, shoving it towards Simon's eyes.

"No! Don't say it, Negan! You say it every year! Don't even-"

"Look at my dirty girl!"

 

 

The beginning of the evening started off smooth.  
It was a beautiful night and everyone just seemed to want to chat.  
There was a report back to negan as to who stayed in their room and there was no reason to dispute it or drag any of them down there so he let them be.

surprisingly there hadn't been any fights to breakup or any other issues so negan sent everyone back but simon to watch over the crowd.  
He could radio them back if he needed them anyway.

Negan announced that he was going to check on things at the cabins and headed out, planning on only being gone a few minutes.  
Only a few minutes after that, Half an hour til curfew was when the moment they'd been waiting for happened.

A loud scream rang out across the grounds and everyone turned to see a girl covered in chocolate and marshmallows being grabbed by an older male camper and threatened to be tossed into the burning pit.

With out a second thought, simon was on his feet and over there in a flash.

"Excuse me!"

The three boys froze, dropping the girl in the dirt.  
She dropped to the ground with an 'umph'.

"What the ever loving hell do you think you're doing?! This is a human being! You are threatening the life of someone and in the most humiliating way! what if you had dropped her in there!" 

Simon was clearly pissed as he yanked out his walkie and put in three different codes to three different people.

"go right over there to those benches so I can keep an eye on you for the moment."  
They did as they were told, still laughing about what they'd done.

The girl was still trembling when he sat next to her where she'd scrambled away from the fire and he offered her a handkerchief.

"I'm simon. What's your name, Darlin'?" He asked gently as she was making pretty good headway with his cloth.   
He wished he could remember names like negan could.  
He knew every single camper by name.  
Simon was also sure he would have remembered this girl if they'd met personally.  
She was beautiful.

"I'm Bethany Greene... Friends call me Beth."

"Well, then, do I have the pleasure of calling you beth?"

"We'll have to see, Mr.simon." she replied, sniffling. 

"Oh really, see about what?"

"If you're a good friend or not..."

"Lucky for you, I'm up for the challenge."

"I think you passed the first test." She sniffled again holding up his handkerchief.

 

\------

 

Carl cringed as he heard the two troublemakers heading up the steps and into the shared cabin.  
It had been so nice not having them around for the last two hours.  
He hoped they had been gone so long they'd been eaten by a bear or something.  
Who was he kidding, he was never that lucky.

 

"didn't see you at the bonfire?" Ron jabbed as he walked in the door with the other boy. "Was it too far past your bedtime!"

Carl shook his head at their antics, trying to ignore them.

"Hey! Really? That's how you treat your roommates?"

Carl huffed, turning back to them.

"Look, I just wanted to be alone, alright. You two can bother me tomorrow."

Carl got in bed then and turned away trying to ignore their snickers behind him or the fears of what they might do to him, running through his head. 

This was going to be a long three months.


	3. Glad you're here

6am.

Carl groaned as he trudged along the path to the mess hall alone.  
He was glad to be without his roommates.  
It seemed like they had different schedules though last night he could've sworn their first lecture was the same.  
The uncomfortable sound was because he hadn't been up this early since a few months ago.  
The leaders should be glad that he was even awake and dressed that early, considering it was midsummer.  
He drug his feet over to the breakfast bar and grabbed a cold waffle off the stack along with a peach before choosing a clean table.  
The room wasn't nearly as crowded as last night so he had his choice of where he wanted to sit.  
Digging into the food and checking his watch every so often, not wanting to be late.  
By the time he was finished he noticed the staff closing up the bar and he thought how odd that was.  
It was only 6:34.  
Hadn't the leader (and his paper) listed breakfast until 8?

Carl shrugged and dumped his plate, heading out with his map to find the first lecture of the day.  
It looked like he was signed up for the leader's own lesson and then later some music thing with a guy named Dwight.  
He glanced once more at the map before walking towards the main building.  
Its not like he had anything better to do anyway.  
This was his life for the next three months so he might as well start it.

The walk to the largest of the common area cabins was nice because once again, there was hardly anyone else around.  
It was warm out and the sun was beating down in between the leaves of the tall trees that scattered the grounds.  
He hoped they would have an off day or two while he was there.  
He wanted to enjoy the beautiful scenery because even though this was supposed to be somewhat strict environment, it was undeniably a gorgeous, relaxing place.

He arrived at the door to where he was scheduled to be and threw it open to see the leader's back to him.  
He was going through a stack of papers and hadn't noticed him yet.  
Carl noticed him though.  
The first thing he noted was the black leather jacket was gone and he wore a simple dark, button up shirt.  
It wasn't bad, just...different.  
He had an image in his mind of this man and this wasn't necessarily it yet.  
Carl took his eyes off of him only for a second to take in the fact that he was the only one there.  
Was he really early?

His mind threw back to a few minutes ago when the kitchen seemed to be closing...

"Seriously?" He cried out loud after figuring out what his roommates must have done to him.

Negan turned then to the voice, grabbing a baseball bat that sat beside him and locked eyes with the boy who was so late he deserved much worse then a staring contest.

Carl took in a breath so intensely as the older man looked at him.  
His features were so strikingly attractive and this was the first time seeing him this close.  
This personal.  
His eyes took in the stubble on his cheek and down, across his chin and back up to his dark hair that he'd clearly been messing up in frustration over what ever those papers said.  
Carl locked his eyes back on his and negan accepted the challenge, if it was one.  
It took them each a moment to compose themselves and find their ground with each other.

 

"I am so...SO sorry, Mr.Negan I-" Carl finally managed to choke out but that intense gaze stopped him from speaking any further.

The boy looked so terrified.  
And frustrated.  
Negan felt for him.  
He also had emotions he couldn't explain himself.  
He wasn't angry.  
At all.  
He couldn't figure that one out because he was always angry.  
Especially when a camper was late.

This camper was at least two hours late to his lecture and was just now showing up?  
Any other kid he would've torn limb from limb. Or at least he might have wanted to...  
The only thing he wanted to do to this boy was stare into his eyes all day.

Keeping his demeanor stoic, negan faced him completely and took a wild guess as to what had caused this problem.

"Let me take a shot in the dark here? your roommates messed with your clock...and your watch as a prank and that's why you're standing in front of me two hours late?"

Carl hung his head.  
He didn't want to be one of those immature, tattlers but he also didn't want them to get away with it.  
He had to make a choice.

"...maybe. It-it could've been a mistake that I made."

Carl swallowed his nerves hard as Negan's eyes narrowed to survey him.  
He knew the kid was lying.  
He wasn't about to fault him for it though.  
It didn't hurt anyone but himself so he let it go.

"You're Carl Grimes?" Negan gave him a minute but he still didn't reply so he prompted as he set his 'weapon' down, "Am I right?"

"Yeah, how did you-"

"Yeah, no. I know who your roommates are. Those two...you know, I almost just put them in a room by themselves? They're horrible kids. I'm sorry you got the short end of the stick."

Carl was shocked. He swore his jaw dropped.

"I was late to _your_ lecture and you're apologizing to me?"

Negan laughed, it echoing through the room and making Carl's heart flutter.  
There was something about being close to this man.  
A speech to a crowd was completely different than having all of his focus on you.  
Knowing that it was just you that dark laugh was for.  
Or that it was only you those mysterious eyes were trained on.

"Yes. I am...but don't get used to it. I'm not known for my apologies." negan's boots stomped on the wood floor as he stepped closer. "Also...Let me know if they do anything else inappropriate?"

"Uh...OK. Sure." Carl was also confused along with the other things he was feeling.

"It was nice to meet you Carl Grimes. I hope you're not late to our next appointment."

"I won't be if I have any thing to say about it."

Negan looked impressed.

"You were looking forward to this?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

"Well, yeah...I mean, I'm here so I might as well attend the things I'm supposed to be attending."

There was that grin again.  
The one that made Carl's heart beat faster.

Negan came another step closer, placing his strong grip on his shoulder.

"If only more of them," he pointed out the window, "Felt the same way you do."

Carl glanced out at the campers who were heading around to different areas, grouped in small hoards as he tried not to focus on the fact that negan was touching him.

"They're like a bunch of...zombies!" Negan continued.

Carl chuckled. 

"I'm dead serious! And some of them I've tried to guide for going on four years or more! Ron Anderson, your troublemaker of a bunk buddy? He has been here for 5 years!"

Carl stared at his outburst, feeling like he heard something he wasn't supposed to hear.

"...I'm sorry." Negan offered.

"It's fine." Carl tried.

"No." Negan held up his hand. "I NEVER should have taken out my frustration on another camper. I'm sorry."

"When I said it was fine. I meant I understand. Mr.negan, I-"

"Please, just negan."

"Ok, Just negan, I get that-"

Negan laughed then. A real honest laugh that echoed up into the rafters.

"You're funny."

"People keep telling me that but I'm not sure I believe them."

"Well, start believing...because you are."

"Considering I thought I was going to come in here and get my ass kicked by our Supreme leader, I'd say making him laugh is much better."

"For you definitely."

"For both of us if you think about it..." Carl grinned then, unknowingly causing some heart fluttering of his own.

 

\-----

 

"Sorry Dwighty,"

A skinny, scraggly looking blonde guy turned from his drum set to see who was interrupting his lesson.  
Negan came in with the new guy, Carl Grimes.  
The boy looked embarrassed and nervous at him but he didn't seem nervous around their boss.

"Mr.Grimes and I were having a heart to heart about being tardy to class..." Negan took that moment to lock eyes with Ron Anderson and his friends."...we didn't mean to intrude."

"Not a problem, negan!" He called offering Carl the last seat in the room before going back to what he'd been discussing.

"Now, as I was saying, I for one like to channel my anger or frustration through music..."

Carl lost his focus when thoughts of the man he was just with floated back into his mind.  
The way he tilted his head a certain way.  
The way he laughed.  
The way his hand felt when they shook on their conversation at the end.

Carl sighed.

Forget the next three months.  
Today was going to be long.

 

\-------

 

"Carl?!"

The brunette turned to see beth running towards him as he headed to the mess hall for lunch.

"I tried to get your attention outside the music room but you didn't notice."

"Oh...sorry." Carl blushed.

"What's the matter with you?" Beth waved a hand in front of his eyes.

"Nothing." Carl tried.

"I've seen my sister with that look."

"What look?" Carl rearranged his face, possibly to prove a point.

She huffed.

"Doesn't matter now, listen, you'll never guess what happened to me last night at the bonfire!"

"What?"

A loud horn blasted out through the woods signaling the next lesson.

"I'm sorry, Carl! We'll talk about it later! I'm late for a class-thing!"

"See ya, beth." He waved.

'What look?'

 

\----

 

"You're not even fucking listening! You're damn near ignoring me!"

Negan turned back to simon, who sat up on his desk, a foot in each chair.

"I'm a multitasker, you know that! I can be off in lala land and still be listening to your bitching!"

"Yeah, but since when do you go off into lala land?"

Negan turned away and cringed.

"I wasn't supposed to catch that, was I? I was just supposed to be mad that you called me a bitch and ignore the rest."

"I never called you a bitch."

"Don't stall, negan. Its not very becoming."

"Look, just get the lesson plans ready for tomorrow and forget the rest!"

"What ever you say, boss..."

Negan faced away from him and walked over to the window to lose himself in his thoughts until simon needed him.

 

\------

 

Before dinner, Carl ended up in cabin 7 at the same time as the one person he was trying to avoid.  
He guessed at some point he'd have to come to terms with the fact that he was just going to run into the guy he was sharing a room with whether he liked it or not.  
Carl kicked himself for having forgotten his camp ID number and it was way too long to memorize so he had to go back to grab it.  
He really hoped Ron wouldn't notice him but of course he did and Carl braced himself for a scene.

"Did you tell boss man that we tricked you this morning?" Ron asked as soon as he turned around.  
The taller boy was blocking the door and Carl was teetering on the edge of nervous.  
He wasn't sure yet why this kid was here, how dangerous he was, he knew he was annoying but what was the worst he could do?

"Huh?!" Ron repeated himself.

"No!" Carl gulped as Ron got closer.

"Really?"

"I didnt! I swear!"

Carl's eyes grew as Ron's hands fisted in his shirt.

 

**"Carl!...Carl!"**

He could hear Shane's voice as if he were right there with him.  
He wanted to curl up and cover his ears to get the sound away.

**_"stop! Don't you DARE move another INCH!"_ **

Carl shook his head as Ron turned into Shane and his surroundings blurred from the warm cabin to a cool early summer night.  
Carl shook his head vigorously and closed his eyes but an image of a smoking engine was all he could see.

**_"if you EVER FUCKING tell ANYBODY WHAT HAPPENED HERE I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!"_ **

_Shane's hands fisted in his shirt but..._

 

"I won't tell! I promise! I told you I wouldn't!" Carl screamed as flashes of Shane came into view then morphed back into his roommate.

Ron backed off, not expecting that from the other boy.

"You-you better not!" He barked as he left Carl to lay back on the bed, panting from his vision.

Carl wasn't about to come to dinner now so when simon came around for his nightly check in he asked if he could get his dinner in his room.

"I'll... See what I can do." The moustached man replied, noting that Carl looked like he was in a state and leaving him to deal with his inner turmoil.

 

\------

 

As soon as he okay-ed the three campers that requested dine in-s, Negan sent Simon away and headed to his own cabin.  
He was tired and he wanted a good night's rest for tomorrow.  
His mind plagued with camp problems and a certain camper in particular, he doubted he was going to get it.

He couldn't get that blue eyed boy out if his mind, especially after seeing his name on Simon's list.

He was impressive...

And gentle.

And mature.

And funny.

And negan felt like he could just talk to him about anything even though he literally just met him.  
He couldn't even talk to simon that easily.  
Seriously, was he back in kindergarten?  
What the fuck?

Tossing his bag on the table and leaning the bat in the corner he popped open a bottle of beer and sat on the edge of his bed with a long sigh that he'd been holding in all day.

Tomorrow though was another one and hopefully he could get back in the groove of things.  
these kids needed him to be in charge.  
They needed someone there for them because he assumed that was part of the problem.  
No one was there for them.

He wondered why there was no one there for Carl Grimes.

If Carl was his to look after there was no way he'd ever let him down.

Another long sigh.

That one was for tomorrow.

 

\------

 

"You never told me what happened to you at the thing last night?"

Carl sat with beth on the porch of her room, legs swinging back and forth.  
They each had a honey bun she'd saved from earlier as the sun was setting on the lake.  
Carl swore he'd never get tired of this.  
He was more calm after getting to eat dinner alone in his room.  
When the blonde came by with a treat he was more willing than he might have been earlier.

 

"Oh!" She swallowed her bite. "I got attacked! Some of the older guys dumped chocolate and marshmallow on me and made me a human s'more and tried to throw me in the fire!"

Carl covered his mouth.  
He really didn't want to laugh.

"Carl Grimes!"

"I'm sorry! It was the word 'human s'more' that did it for me! But the rest sounded horrible."

She whacked his arm making them both laugh until someone approached them.

"Bethany! I didn't know you knew Carl?" 

They looked up to see Ron's girlfriend Enid with her arms crossed and a sly smirk on her face.  
Carl swallowed nervously as his moment with the older boy earlier slipped back into his mind.

"We...uh, just met yesterday." Beth replied.

"sure...nice to see you again, Carl."  
Enid nodded before brushing past Carl in a specific way before heading into Beth's room.

"I think I just made things worse for you...and me." Carl worried, looking behind him.

Beth shrugged.

"Can't get any worse than they already are."

It hit Carl then what was happening. 

"Wait, Enid's your roommate?!"

Beth sighed.

"Unfortunately! she's awful-"

"I know! She's Ron's girlfriend..."

Beth rolled her eyes and was about to make another comment when they both turned as the girl's main counselor, Regina, came to the main area with her bullhorn to announce curfew.

"I guess this is goodnight then." Beth said as she surprised Carl with a hug.

"Goodnight, beth." Carl smiled after he finally embraced her.

"See you tomorrow."

"Hey...beth?"

"I'm glad you're here." Carl grinned.

"I'm glad you're here too."


	4. There's just no helping some people

It hadn't yet been a whole week since Carl arrived at the camp and he felt like he'd done all the same lessons a hundred times.  
Listened to the same lectures and advise, over and over.  
And over.  
So far the schedules only were given a week out and Carl was disappointed to see that he didn't have anymore times slots with their leader yet.  
He enjoyed what little he'd heard from him and wondered why his parents picked the lessons they'd picked for him and when.

He trudged along the path to yet another music session, staring at his paper as he went.  
Since he wasn't focused on what was ahead of him he got his foot caught up on a wood beam and landed on the ground with a thud.  
His first reaction was to make sure no one saw that and of course with his luck they had.  
Two older boys who had coveralls and seemed to be working at trimming the bushes, cracked up at his mishap.

Carl blushed uncontrollably as he gathered his stuff that he had dropped before scrambling to get up.

"What did I say about leaving these in the pathway?"

Carl looked up at the voice to see Simon reprimanding the young workers.

"You alright, Mr.Grimes?" The mustached man asked, approaching him and Carl sighed, trying to get past his embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Your pride will heal don't worry." Simon grinned, patting him on the shoulder.

Carl tried not to laugh at that but it was kind of cool that simon read his mind.

"Yeah, I know." Carl rolled his eyes, moving to head on in the building.

He paused though, wondering why the camp had such young, irresponsible landscapers.

"Hey, Mr.simon?"

"Yep?" The man glanced away long enough from his delinquents to make eye contact with him.

"Uh...can I ask why they're doing that?"

Simon walked him a couple of steps away out of earshot.

"Its their punishment. They went after another camper on the first night. I think they deserve worse but...that's just me."

Carl blinked, realizing this was about beth.  
This had to be about beth.

"O...kay." Was all he said before heading on. "Thanks. See ya."

Simon gave a wave as he walked off before turning his attention back to the two guys work.

 

\-----

 

"And then he asks me if I want to go down to the lake tonight after curfew? The nerve, I have a boyfriend!"

Beth laughed awkwardly.  
She really didn't want to hear ANOTHER boy story from her roommate.  
To be honest she didn't want to hear anything from her roommate except maybe some actual information about herself.  
She realized she knew nothing about the girl she was sleeping near every night.  
She didn't even know why this girl was here. Sure she was annoying and self-centered but that was hardly a reason for your family to send you away for months on end to get your life together.

"I'm a farmer's daughter." Beth announced standing up.

Enid actually put her magazine down and stared at her disgustedly.

"Well, that actually explains a lot."

Beth tried not to let that reply offend her.

"Exactly...so now it's your turn." The blonde demanded. "You tell me something about you so I know you a little better."

"Bethany, sweetie, you and I don't want to know each other, trust me." 

Beth sighed.

"Like I don't know that! But I'm being serious..."

Enid rolled her eyes.

"Fine." Enid huffed. "I'm sixteen. I'm from south carolina originally and I don't want to be here. And you better not give me that much information back because I don't care."

"That's fine. I didn't think you did." Said beth as she thought of another question for her. 

"Why did your parents send you here?"

"None of your business."

Beth stared at her then as she went back to her magazine.  
She smiled as she heard her father's voice in her head.  
Something he always said, she was starting to learn was true.

'There's just no helping some people'

 

\-----

 

"Apologize."

"What?"

Carl stared at Ron as they stood in the middle of the mess hall after dinner.  
No food was spilled.  
No harm was done.  
It was a small shoulder bump.  
No big deal.

"You realize you ran into me?" Carl pointed out, not believing this guy.

"Its still your fault."

Carl breathed hot air through his nose.

"You know, fine...I'm sorry."

The boy nodded with a smirk.

"That's better. You may go now."

Carl jerked away from him roughly and the taller boy frowned.

"Hey!" Show me some respect!"

Carl paused, wanting nothing more than to turn back and show him what he really thought but negan's voice from his speech about the rules stuck in his head.

He did turn back but only to speak his mind.

"The only people I respect here is mr.negan and the other counselors..."

Without looking back he knew the other boy was fuming but he didn't care.  
This guy needed to learn the real meaning of the word respect.

"Everybody!" Ron shouted then making everyone actually turn to pay attention. "Look at this guy! He's a total kiss up!"

Carl glared at the older boy, shaking his head as he started walking away.

"Where you going, kiss up?!" Ron called. "You come back here and face me! Or are you a coward too?! C'mon! Face me or you're going to regret it!"

Carl had tried.  
He really had.  
He stopped again, debating on whether retaliation was worth getting what ever negan's punishment was.  
Carl turned and walked back to him.  
If he was anything it wasn't a coward.

"Here I am, Ron. What are you gonna do?"

The blonde boy grabbed his shirt in his hands again like he did the other night.

Everyone turned then to the sound of thick boots on the floor and a steady, loud whistling tone.  
The man those belonged to stepped farther into the room and came between the rivals just as Ron let him go.

"Well, pardon me young man," their leader spoke. "excuse the shit out of my goddamn French but did you just threaten him?"

All the campers stared as the biggest trouble maker there, was being put in his place by the big, bad leader.  
And they hadn't even been there a whole week.  
Negan swung his bat up behind to rest on his shoulder as he got closer to the blondish boy.  
Carl revelled in the fact that Ron was clearly afraid of this man when it came down to it.

"...no." Ron stammered.

"How about 'no, sir'?" Negan replied.

"No,sir." 

"How about 'no, Mr.negan'?!" He shouted so the whole room could hear.

"No, Mr.negan."

Negan stared the kid down until he was shaking in his boots.

"You know..." Negan tsk-ed. "that's just not going to be good enough for me!"

He met the counselor Regina by the door and she approached the boy with orders to take him to the office.

Carl, who stared at the whole thing still in disbelief, barely heard his name being called.

"Carl Grimes?" Negan repeated, stepping closer. "Can I have a word? You're not in trouble, I promise."

He focused on the man in front of him and he was able to answer properly.

"Yes, negan."

 

"Listen, Carl, I just want to make sure I know the whole story before I speak with Anderson. Be honest."

Carl nodded as they sat side by side on a log railing.

"OK...i can do that." Carl said, shifting around before he continued. "I went to dump my tray and Ron bumped into me and was trying to get me to apologize. I know I shouldn't give in to him because he was being a bully but...I was trying not to cause any trouble."

Negan nodded.

"I know you weren't. I can tell you're a good person, Carl."

A small smile peeked out and he looked down at his shoes at the compliment.

"Thanks...that means a lot."

"I have to be honest with you as well by saying that I know why your parents brought you here and it's... Hard to believe."

Carl frowned and debated if he should say anything.

"But, I'm afraid that's a conversation for another day." Negan said, standing. "I really need to get in to speak with Anderson and decide what to do with him."

Carl nodded.

"Thanks, Carl. I'll see you soon."

The boy smiled.

"...Anytime."

\-----

 

"So then he asked to speak with me alone even though I wasn't the one in trouble...and I still don't know why he wanted to talk to me."

Beth grinned as Carl relayed the story from the dinner she missed earlier.

"Maybe he just wanted to talk to you?"

"Why though?"

Beth shrugged.

"I don't know...maybe-"

They heard a knock on the open doorway and saw Beth's counselor.

"It's 9:15, Mr.Grimes." she said. "I've let you stay long enough."

"I'm sorry, miss Regina." Carl replied, getting up off Beth's bed. "I'm going."

Regina left to let them have a goodnight.

"Hey, I'll see you in tomorrow at lunch."

"Hopefully before." Beth pouted.

"Well, yeah but I have negan's lecture and I'm not being late to that again."

Beth giggled as she walked him out to the porch.

"Sounds good."

"You're not signed up for that are you?"

"No. Maggie only signed me up for the drawing lesson and Mr.Dwight's music thing."

"Too bad...I wish we had more time together."

"Me too."

"Goodnight, Carl. Come back if your creepy roommate is there and ill sneak you back in and you can stay with me."

Carl chuckled.

"I appreciate that but I think I'd rather take my chances with him then your strict counselor. See I love mine because I guarantee when I waltz back in my cabin, 30 minutes late I'm just gonna get a smile and a wave from Simon."

Beth giggled at the mention of the older mans name but Carl didn't call her out on it.

"Goodnight!" He called jumping off the ledge and heading towards the boys cabins.

 

\-----

 

"Last call..."

Negan looked up from his seat by the edge of the lake to see his best friend staring back.  
That damn mustache partially framing a teasing grin.  
Negan shook his head.  
No.  
He wasn't putting down his drink.  
Not for nobody.  
Anybody.  
OK, he wasn't putting down his third bottle of beer for anybody.  
Or was it his fourth?

Simon came and plunked down in the sandy earth and pried the half empty bottle away only to take a sip from it.

He grinned maliciously at him and answered; "it's mine now."

Negan wouldn't remember this tomorrow anyway.

Negan let out a heavy sigh and Simon knew something was hitting him harder than it usually did when they were in the first weeks back.  
He didn't even try to wrestle the beverage back from him like he usually did.

"You're no fun." Simon pouted, moving to get up."cmon...let's get you back to your bed, Mr.leader."

"No."

"No? I can't just leave you here! A camper might see you!"

Negan shrugged.

OK, this was bad.

"OK, this is bad, negan...what's wrong?" Simon shook him by the shoulders.

"Nothing! And I'm not telling you!"

"Well, you're sure as hell not staying here!"

Negan turned away from him for a second before turning back to flip him off.

"You realize that's just a term of endearment coming from you. That's how we became friends remember?"

Negan rubbed a rough hand over his tired eyes.

"Of course I remember..." He replied.

It was Simon's turn to sigh.

"Cmon, Neg, if you're not gonna talk to me about this mysterious thing that you hint at every year once we're here then at least let me get you back to our cabins without any of the campers seeing you like this."

Silence.

"Its your choice. Talk or cabins... Or both."

Silence.

Simon was going to match his actions.  
If his best friend was going to sit here and suffer than he was going to stand here and suffer with him.  
He would stand there all night if he had to.

Negan turned after a long, looking at his watch, five minutes and gave him a grin he hadn't seen in years, saying something he hadn't heard in years.

"Who are you?" Negan asked in a voice that wasn't as commanding in that particular sentence as it used to be but it was as if no time had passed.  
It still held the same meaning.

Simon chuckled but without hesitation, replied proudly; "I'm negan."

Negan grinned back as he struggled to get up on his feet.  
Simon hurried to help him but negan brushed him off until he realized the world was more fuzzy than it was when he sat down earlier.  
One hand on Simon's shoulder was as much assistance he would accept as they headed towards the counselor's cabins.

 

Once they got in the door, simon stacked his pillows up high before negan even thought about collapsing on the bed.  
Simon dug out a container of aspirin and a bottled water and set those things on his bedside table while negan peeled his shirt and pants off.  
He knew he wouldn't want to have to search for those in the morning with the pounding headache he'd be sure to have.

"You know I thought you'd forgotten about that...about the whole 'I'm negan' thing." Simon blurted out once negan lay down and he wondered if he should add more to that sentence so he wouldn't be confused or if he should've even said anything else at all.

"...never." Negan finally replied. "I'll never forget it. I can't...I wish I could."


	5. Maybe she could ask Simon

"You couldn't have warned me about this headache last night...before I started drinking."

Simon just chuckled as negan staggered through the door of his cabin at noon wearing a pained expression and an open shirt with a pair of stained jeans.  
Not what negan would usually be seen around the grounds in but Simon assumed after the leader had gotten him to cancel his lecture this morning, he only planned on going the few steps across the pathway between their rooms.  
Simon let himself chuckle again at him while he sipped his coffee, the cup he'd just offered negan, getting colder by the minute.

"You wouldn't have listened!" Simon replied, trying to go back to reading his newspaper but knowing it was a lost cause now that negan came to vent. "Besides you were already drinking when I found you."

Negan dropped into a chair before finally taking a sip of the warm beverage.

"Maybe not but," he cringed. "fuck...does my head hurt still."

Simon gave him a look that said; I'm judging you right now.  
Even though they had an unspoken rule to never judge the other.

"I'm sure it does." Simon said condescendingly as he clasped his hands together.

Negan covered his eyes with his arm for a moment as he tipped back in the round wooden seat that was almost more like a hammock on a stand.

"And forget anything thing I said last night." He finally remembered to warn his friend.

That was going to be a lot more difficult.

"Everything?"

"Yes." Negan locked eyes with him. "Everything. Every damn little thing. Even if it was stupid or funny just clear it out of your mind."

Simon sighed shaking out his newspaper and folding it up as he heard negan mutter more obscenities under his breath.

"Suit yourself." He said, leaving negan alone now to deal with his hangover. "Stay as long as you like but remember you have to get that paperwork in sometime today...I have campers to go watch over. "

 

\-----

 

The mess hall was buzzing when Carl and beth arrived and he told her to find a seat while he went to grab them lunch.  
Beth, once again, claimed she wasn't hungry but Carl grabbed her some fruit as he grabbed himself a sandwich.  
His ears perked up as he overheard another new camper, Sophia, talking about the biggest news on the grounds.

"Yeah, the first hike has been moved up according to Mr.negan. I've obviously never been but...it sounds like fun." Said the girl who everyone knew was there because she was a habitual run away.

Carl was instantly interested and confused but didn't wait to find out any more when he noticed beth had gotten their little two person table in the back.  
He also didn't waste anytime before telling her what he'd heard when he sat down.

"I just heard something..."

"Somethin' good?"

Carl nodded.

"I mean...I guess. Something called 'the hike' has been moved up."

"Oh, yeah, there was an add on my door this mornin'. Enid was all excited for it."

"Did she tell you anything about it?"

Beth shook her head, sneaking an apple.

Carl was glad she did.  
She seemed to ignore her own health by skipping meals sometimes.

"I guess we'll have to find out somewhere else."

"Yeah, I guess so."

 

As soon as they were finished, beth and Carl didn't stick around since they each had lectures to get to.  
Carl said his goodbyes on the porch since his schedule had him heading to the farthest building in the camp.  
Beth waved as he left, not looking where she was going and stepped off the edge of the wood, falling towards the ground.  
Instead of getting a face full of dirt though, she felt strong arms around her and looked up into concerned brown eyes.

"Mr.simon..." She said breathlessly.

He grinned back at her, their noses only inches apart.

"You alright, darlin'?"

She took a deep breath as he set her on the ground slowly, making sure she could stand before letting her go.

"Uh, yeah. T-thank you. You saved me." 

He looked humbly at her.

"And I'd do it again. Are you sure you're not hurt?"

"No! Not at all! I...don't know where my bag went to..."

Simon glanced around and then noticed it got caught up in the bushes.  
He handed it right to her, gingerly.

"Thanks." She blushed, "I...think I have to go now...I have a...a thing."

"OK," he grinned back at her as she smiled. "I could-could walk you?... If you want?"

"That's OK...I'll be fine. Thank you again." She waved. "I mean I know I said that before but...I really do appreciate it...so thanks."

He raised his hand as he watched her go.

She was so flustered she barely saw Carl waiting to check on her and ran right into him and barely missed the smirk he wore.

"So that's 'the look',huh?"

 

\-----

 

Carl did a double take as he jogged up the steps to his last lesson when he caught sight of someone he recognized around the corner.  
He'd still been thinking about Beth's moment a minute ago that he almost didn't realize what he was seeing.  
Enid and the guy who was digging up dead plants around the building had, if he wasn't mistaken, just shared a kiss.

A long kiss.

Carl stared for as long as he could before they broke apart and he had to duck behind the wall so he wouldn't see.  
And now that he took in the guys features, it occurred to him that this was the same guy who was trimming bushes yesterday when he tripped.  
And Enid, a two timer?  
Well, of course he wasn't surprised but it was something to have at that information to do with as he pleased.

This was definitely something he'd have to ponder.

He could tell Ron what he saw but would he even believe him? The boy didn't even deserve to know in his opinion but he hated keeping things like that to himself.

Someone spoke as he lost himself in that thought and they ended up repeating themselves, this time with a not so friendly tone.

"Hey! Grimes, That's my seat!"

Carl looked up as his roommate stood above him, forcing him from his chair with a glare.  
It was the first time he'd seen him since the incident in the mess hall.

 

"It doesn't have your name on it." Carl said simply.

"I always sit here." He got in Carl's face. "So get up."

Carl rolled his eyes and stood, glaring back at Ron.

That answered that.

If Ron was going to be an asshole then he most definitely didn't deserve to know he was being cheated on.

 

\-----

 

"Uh, knock knock?"

Negan turned from his desk at the sound of that voice

"Who's there?" He replied with a teasing grin.

"Carl."

"Carl who?" Negan chuckled, stopping himself by waving a hand. "I'm sorry, I'm serious now, Carl. What did you need? "

Carl laughed at the joke before coming closer at negan's offer to sit.

"I just have a question. Simon told me I'd find you here...I didn't want to bother you just for this but I didn't think anyone could answer this for me but you."

Negan's eyes softened and he sat up more properly.

"Carl, I'm honored that you felt like you could come to me...most of the campers either hate me or their afraid of me."

Carl didn't try to act surprised.  
He knew it was true but it was sad.  
This man put a lot of work into helping them and that's how they repay him?  
He was really nice if you behaved.  
Or was it just if you were Carl Grimes.

"If that's true," Carl frowned. "I don't understand."

"I appreciate that...but obviously this conversation isn't about me. Its about you. What did you want to know?"

Carl took a moment to think about this before he said anything.

"What this family day thing? Like do I have to visit with who ever comes to visit me? If anyone does..."

"If you think you're doing better without them then," negan paused "No."

Negan kept talking as Carl considered his next question.

"Carl, I am never, ever going to make you do anything you don't want to do."

The boy looked into his eyes once he said that and some sort of unspoken solid trust formed between them in that moment.  
It made negan want to tell him more.  
Make him feel safe.

"If you don't want to see your family while you're under my care than I won't make you but the thing is, if they don't hear from you personally that you don't want to see them, well, they might start asking me questions."

Carl thought about that.

"I get that. Is there...can you tell me anything else?"

"We only let in a few groups at a time," he began, his hands moving as he explained. "It's held in the dining hall and your counselor simon and my self are in the area at all times. You're able to have private conversations with your visitors but you're never alone."

Carl looked a bit more relieved at that.

"...OK."

"OK. Do you have anymore questions? I'd be glad to answer them."

Carl gave him a small smile.

"If I'm being honest I'd say I'm really not sure. When I came here I thought I was going to get away from them since I was mad that they sent me here."

Carl panicked as negan was silent and he realized how that sounded.

"Not that I don't like it here! I do actually..."

Negan chuckled.

"I understand, Carl. And I'm glad to know that you don't hate my guts or my property."

"Actually..." Carl decided there was something else he wanted to ask him. "What would you do if you knew something that would hurt someone but weren't planning on telling them? And does that make you a bad person?"

"Is this about a friend?"

"No." Carl replied quickly.

"Then no. I mean, it wouldn't anyway but still. Someone else's drama and bad luck is not your problem."

Carl became visibly distant for a moment as that advice hit close to home.

 

**_"No! This is not my problem!"_**

_Carl yelled at Shane as he tried to get away from the scene._

_"You did this! Not me! You!"_

_Shane's scoff turned into laughter as grabbed Carl's t-shirt to keep him from moving away any further._

_"Wanna bet? You were here too! I wasn't the only one here to see this happen!"_

_"I didn't drive this car drunk, Shane!"_

**_"Shh! You shut up! You shut the hell up!" Shane grabbed Carl around the neck. "Don't you EVER say that out loud again!"_**

 

Carl shook his head at the man in his memory as he consciously was now back in negan's office.

"Hey, you still here?" Negan chuckled.

"Yeah...I'm sorry. It was just a memory of something."

Negan nodded, recognizing that look in himself before.  
Carl had been thinking about something he wanted to forget.  
He understood that well.

"Any way, I say don't dwell on something like gossip. That's something for the girls to worry about." Negan said with a chuckle. "But if you feel like you can't sleep without telling this person then by all means...but I you think they'll eventually find out anyway and you don't have to come in the crossfire then don't give another thought. Stay out of it."

Carl pondered his advice for a moment before thanking him and standing up to leave.

"Hey, Carl?" Negan called back.

"Yeah?"

"You know your welcome to come talk...anytime?"

Carl nodded.

"I know."

 

\-----

As their nightly conversation came to a close, beth and Carl were interrupted by Regina calling over the campers in the girls area to make an announcement.

"I'm here to remind everyone about the hike on Saturday! Negan will let everyone know when he plans to go, whenever he's ready. Also, The family visitation is tomorrow, still on as planned. If your family shows up you will be alerted! There is no need to show up in the mess hall for no reason! Have a good evening! And remember, curfew is at 8 tonight!"

Beth turned to Carl and shrugged as the girl's counselor walked off.

"Guess we won't find out what the hike's about until it happens." Carl frowned.

"I guess not. At least not until mr.negan's ready to go."

"Hey, maybe you could ask Simon?" Carl nudged her shoulder playfully.

Beth rolled her eyes as a blush faded over her cheeks.

But yeah...

Maybe she could ask Simon.


	6. I'll be right here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING***
> 
> this chapter contains self harm and self harm elements!  
> Please note that I only added this because its part of Beth's plotline on the show.  
> If you don't wish to read or if the thought makes you uncomfortable PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!
> 
> I'm very understanding because my friend goes through it and if you do too please, please talk to someone.
> 
> This is fiction and only used to relate to the character and the show. Thank you!

"Damn..late again."

Negan turned around to see Carl Grimes entering his building at 6:47 am.  
The smirk the boy wore was fucking adorable and it took everything out of him not to follow him over and sit in the seat next to him.  
He had until 7:30 to talk anyway.

"Good morning, Mr.Grimes." negan greeted, the formality feeling weird in his mouth.

"Good morning, just negan." Carl said, not able to keep his lips from turning to a grin.

Negan chuckled, needing to go back to his paperwork but knowing he wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it now, he made his way over to lean on the table that was in between him and the younger man.  
Carl's heart skipped a beat but never once becoming nervous.

"We're really gonna do this again? As many times as we've chatted?"

"Do what? You told me the other day to call you just negan so...I want to do as I'm told."

The tall man raised his eyebrows.

"You want to do as your told?"

Carl nodded, a strand of brown, silky hair falling in his eyes just so. "I do."

Negan paused, swallowing intensely.

"...Anything you're told?"

 

An alarm went off in the back ground and...

Carl sat up, breathing heavily as the second dream he'd about their leader since they met, faded away.  
The young man's cheeks flushed as he noticed the obvious tightness of his pajama pants and was relieved to see he was alone in the usually shared room.  
His heart still thudded as he rushed into the small bathroom to give some relief to himself.  
Even though he was alone, he still turned red at the fact that he had been dreaming about negan.  
How could he?  
Carl groaned as he stood, breathless trying to come back to reality.

 

'It was just a dream.' He told himself.

 

It meant nothing.

 

\-----

"Where's your roommate?" Enid asked Ron and Mikey as she slid in the bench to give Ron a kiss.

"Who gives a shit?" He replied making his younger friend laugh. "I hope he gets eaten by a bear or bitten by a snake or something."

Enid giggled.

"That works!"

"Maybe his family will realize they made a mistake and they'll just take him home with them this weekend!"

The other two shook their heads at Mikey's not so painful way of disposing of their 'favorite' camper.

"No, really, 'cause he doesn't seem to be much fun...ya know?"

"Yeah, I can't imagine him doing anything 'bad'." Enid rolled her eyes. "Ever."

"I really don't care how he got here just however we can get him gone," Ron said "let's take the first chance we get!"

 

\-----

 

The second simon walked in the door to the mess hall to watch over the lunch crowd, he noticed beth sitting alone at a small table.  
She looked so lonely and he had to use all of his self control not to go join her right then.  
She seemed to be picking at her food and not really ingesting any of it.  
He'd seen campers in the past who didn't have an appetite from being in a strange place but this was different.

Now as one of her concerned camp counselors he really ought to check on her.  
He noticed Dwight was there too at the other door so he could take some time to talk to the girl.  
He grabbed a small plate and a grilled cheese and a dessert and headed over to her.

"Miss beth?"

The blonde looked up and couldn't hide her smile.

"Hi Mr.simon."

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked with a grin.

"Not at all." She replied, pulling her sleeves down over her arms as he sat down across from her.

She glanced around, just now realizing how packed the room was.

"I see your friend Carl is on a different schedule than you today?"

"Yeah, otherwise he'd be sittin' here with me."

Simon nodded.

"But I like you sittin' here with me..."

Simon's mustache turned up with another grin at the compliment.

"I'm flattered. So does that mean I get to call you beth now?"

"Only if I get to use your name now too? It goes both ways _mister_ Simon." 

"Of course you can, darlin'." He said before lowering his voice to a whisper. "Just don't let the other campers hear you...they might think you're getting special treatment."

She blushed furiously as he winked at her.

"I won't..." She promised as she stole a cookie off if his plate to his surprise. "It'll be our little secret."

 

\-----

 

Carl's leg tapped on the floor as he sat waiting for Mr.Dwight to begin his drum session or what ever instrument they were going to channel their 'anger' into today.

He really didn't feel like sitting through this when his mind was either preoccupied with replaying that dream in his mind or going over how well seeing his mom or dad (or both) would go tomorrow.

That had him thrown for a loop more than anything because that was real.  
He really had to face them and he hated being treated like a criminal by his parents.  
Especially because he wasn't one.

He really wasn't sure how much longer he could take that but as he considered admitting the truth, Shane's words flashed in his mind along with his baby sister.

He wasn't at home now to protect Judith and he didn't know what he would do if she got hurt because he was too selfish to keep his mouth shut.

He was stuck.  
And he knew it too.  
There was no getting around it.

Carl sighed, sitting up when Dwight entered.

He guessed he'd have to ponder this all later. 

 

\-----

"Thanks for sittin' with me." Beth blushed as simon walked her out and on the path to her next lesson.

"Any time."

She gave him a small smile as they walked a little further and she felt his fingers brush hers as they went.  
He slipped his hand against hers and let her continue it further by intertwining their fingers.

He smiled back at her as they slowed down to not get to the building up ahead so quickly.

"Its so beautiful here." Beth said, trying not pay attention to the way her heart thudded a she held hands with her counselor.

"It really is." Simon said. "You know, I used to come here for camp too?

"Really?" Beth's eyes lit up.

"Mr.negan and myself. It's where we met."

Beth giggled taking interest in that.

"That's neat." She replied wondering what the two men were like when they were young.

Probably exactly the same.

As they got closer, beth stopped in the path.

"Thanks for walking me." She said, still smiling.

"Of course. I-"

Beth leaned up then to kiss him on the cheek and he, out of habit, draped his arm around her waist.

"See you later, simon." She waved, heading away down the path, leaving him to stare after her.

 

As she headed up the steps, she remembered that she was going to ask simon about the hike.  
She grinned as she figured it was just another reason to go seek him out later.  
She was not expecting to hear the voice of her roommate coming from the side of the building.

"You think you're so cute?"

Beth couldn't hide her panic but she tried before the other girl noticed.

"Trying to get all close to the counselors...kissing up to simon and probably even negan? Little slut!" Enid scoffed.

"I don't kn-"

"Shut up! I know this game! This is my territory! I have been here for the last two years and negan won't even look at me but you come in and in two weeks you can get simon to fall all over you?!"

Beth's mouth hung open.

"I wasn't."

Enid thought about what to say next.

"You know simon and i had a fling the first year I was here so back off, bitch!" Enid warned watching Beth's heart break. "You have that stupid boy of yours, Carl Grimes or whatever! Leave these real men alone! They're mine!"

Enid stomped away, leaving beth stunned.

 

\-----

 

Carl had managed all day to avoid negan.  
Not that he was trying.  
He wasn't.  
Really.  
That dream from last night had followed him everywhere since and he didn't think he'd be able to handle seeing him with that on his mind.  
Two and a half weeks here and he was already having wet dreams about his counselor.  
Maybe there was something wrong with him.

It was getting dark again now as another night had begun at the camp and he was on his way back from dinner when he rounded the corner of the tall bushes that lined the pathway to the boy's cabins.  
He was not expecting, here of all places to run into negan.  
To his embarrassment, he gasped out loud as he slammed right into the man.

"I'm sorry." Carl said out of instinct and after the initial shock and silence wore off, they each chuckled at the other.

"Didn't see you around today..." Negan noted.

"Yeah, I had a weird schedule."

Carl's eyes fixated on a plant sticking up oddly across the way.  
Or the lake.  
Or his shoes.  
Or anything but those eyes that were now fixated on him.

Negan nodded.

"Heading to bed?"

"Uh, probably shower first."

Carl mentally kicked himself.  
Why did negan need to know that?

Negan nodded again.

"OK, uh...goodnight."

"You too."

Both of them walked away but didn't get too far on the path before they each stopped.

"Carl?" Negan asked, his back still turned.

"Yeah?" Carl faced him, a flutter building in his stomach when negan actually moved closer now.

"You know there's still a couple of hours til curfew tonight?" Negan said turning off his walkie. "I got something I'd really like to speak with you about before tomorrow...would you mind taking a walk with me?"

"Sure." Carl replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

\-----

 

"Hello?" Beth called as she stepped into the building where the girl's showers were.

She really preferred to shower alone even though there were closures on each stall.  
She was a very private person and was not looking forward to sharing things like this.  
Once she was satisfied with how abandoned the place seemed she chose the third one down and hung her bag of clothes on the hook outside and turned on the water.

As she adjusted herself to the water that was somewhat still cold she realized that she hadn't seen Carl all day.  
She hoped he hadn't gotten into trouble with his roommate.  
It sure was odd at he hadn't come for their nightly conversation but she guessed she'd see him tomorrow.

Her conversation with simon was the next thing on her mind and she grinned when she thought about him.  
She loved how sweet he was and how he spoke to her and the sound of his voice in general.  
She smiled as she remembered how it felt when their hands touched as they each grabbed for the same thing on the table.  
She sighed as his brown eyes filled her mind and she realised she could look into his eyes forever and never get bored.

The thought of what Enid said earlier made her sick.  
Surely she was just trying to get a rise out of her.  
Unless simon really had....

The water ran over her skin and she tried to wash off those images as well as the last days grossness.  
It ran down her neck as she soaked her hair through first and as it trickled over her arms, the fresh, red lines on her skin stung.  
Beth cringed, grasping at her arms to try and stop the pain.  
One was still fresh from earlier and opened back up, blood beading on the surface.  
Tears stung her eyes as she wished she hadn't cut so deep.  
She grasped her wrist as it flowed a little bit heavier just as she heard a noise outside the door and then laughter.  
She threw a towel around herself and peered out of the stall to see Enid standing there with her stuff.

"Good luck coming ALL the way back to the room without your clothes, Bethany! You want all the men to pay attention to you? Here's the perfect way!"

"No,no,no! Come back, please!" She cried as she tried to get to the girl before she disappeared but it was no use.  
Beth blushed when she realised she was standing out in the middle of the pathway where anyone could see her.  
In a towel.

She could still hear the girl laughing as she moved to hurry back into the building to hide until she figured out what to do.  
Beth slid down the tile floor of the stall to sit.  
In the scuffle her razor had fallen to the floor of the shower and she considered how close it was, if she just leaned over, just a bit she could grab it...

 

 

"Are you alright, miss Greene?" The girl's other counselor, Arat called into the showers. 

 

"You've been in here 30 minutes!"

 

She still heard the water running.

 

"Miss Greene?"

 

Arat knocked but still no answer.

 

"Miss greene, I'm coming in!"

 

\-----

 

"And so every year now, Simon doesn't let me live down the time that I forgot to order marshmallows for the bonfires."

Carl laughed at negan's story as they walked along the lake's edge as the sun set behind them.  
He decided he could literally listen to this man talk all night.  
They had started sharing stories on the way and negan hadn't gotten around to what he wanted to discuss but neither of them noticed.

"Do you usually have more than one?" Carl asked.

"Yeah, I usually have three but it depends on the weather. On your last week here it'll be mid November so it'll depend on the weather."

"Oh, yeah. Didn't think about that."

It occurred to Carl that he was curious as if this was negan's only job.  
How did you get to be a camp counselor for delinquent young adults anyway?  
He tried to picture negan as anything else and just couldn't.  
Maybe a baseball player since he always had that bat with him.

"Were you a baseball coach?" He blurted out and didn't even recoil at the intense look negan gave him.

Anyone else who asked that question, probably would get their brains bashed out but coming from this kid didn't even seem like a dent in his armor.

He only chuckled and gave him a grin.

"No...I'll tell you sometime about me and 'Lucille', we go way back. But no, I really am just a camp counselor."

"I don't mean to be rude but...It doesn't seem like it pays much."

"It does though...everyday."

"Everyday?"

Negan's head moved to nod again.

"Yep, anytime one of the campers looks to me for advice or every time I have a lecture and all eyes are on me to guide them or watching the kids who actually thrive here and leave and I never see them again...that's the only payment I need."

Carl stared, stunned that that was his answer.  
He couldn't believe beneath the tall, intimidating exterior and the loud insults and yes, the baseball bat, this man was really as caring as he first thought he was.

"Wow."

"You weren't expecting that, were you?"

"No," Carl grinned. "I wasn't"

"Well, its the truth." Negan chuckled before standing up to pull something from his pocket.

"I almost forgot..." 

Carl watched him as he unfolded a piece of paper and glanced over it before showing it to him.

"You asked me about the family meeting the other day and I decided to look into it."

Carl looked at the list, recognizing only a couple of names before his eyes landed on his own.

"What does the '1' mean?"

Negan let out a breath through his nose before answering.

"It means that one person is coming to visit you but my receptionist didn't take a name or wasn't given a name."

Carl seemed stuck in the lack of information.

"I appreciate this." Carl replied. 

"I know but I wish I could've found out who was planning on coming to see you tomorrow."

Carl nodded.

"It's ok," he said. "Its enough that you cared enough to do this."

Negan couldn't help a big smile.

"I was hoping you'd feel that way."

 

\-----

 

"I have no clue where the boss is. I can't get him on the radio. I was wondering if he went to bed because it seems to be turned off." Arat said shakily.

"I don't think he even turns it off then..." Another counselor, Gavin replied.

"Did you call simon? He usually knows where negan is." Dr.Carson asked as he kept a close eye on the girl in the bed.

"No, I'll try him now." Arat said, stepping back out onto the darkening porch.  
Her fingers trembled as she pulled out her walkie and turned the dial to Simon's channel.  
Being new to the camp she had never had to deal with a crisis like this before but this seemed pretty new to them all.

"Simon, this is Arat, do you copy?"

She waited a few minutes trying to steady her voice for when he answered.  
She was tougher than this.  
It felt like forever before he finally answered.

"This is simon, over."

She held down the button again to continue.

"There's an emergency up here...a female camper in the infirmary...do you know how we can reach negan?"

Another second.

"I was just trying him too and nothing. I can come down."

"Alright, I'll tell the Doc."

 

\-----

 

"I'll let you get to your shower." Negan said as he realized how late he and Carl had sat there talking. He stuck the paper back in his pocket with one hand as grasped his bat with the other.

"Thanks again for telling me about that. It's nice to know someone has my back here." Carl grinned.

Negan stared into Carl's eyes before he had to force himself to get up and leave the boy's company for the evening.

"Always." Negan spoke gently. "I'll walk you back."

Carl stood slowly too, not wanting to end their talk.

"Thanks." He said when all he really wanted to say was 'stay'.

 

At the bushes near the boy's camp negan stalled.

"Remember what I said, Carl..." He reminded the younger man. "Who ever comes to visit you tomorrow... I'll be there, the whole time."

Carl nodded, seemingly nervous again.

"This is my property...I can kick out anyone I don't want here."

Carl pondered that thought and thanked him again letting him know that he'd keep that in mind.

"And thanks for the talk. I...always enjoy talking to you."

Negan flashed that grin again.  
The one that made his heart flutter and probably was the biggest fuel for that dream he'd had.

"Yeah...I enjoy being around you too. You're different then the others."

Carl beamed for only a second before it faded away.

"Probably because I'm not supposed to be here..." He muttered.

"What was that?" Negan asked propping his bat on his shoulder.

"Nothing..." Carl sighed when he saw the disapproving look the leader wore. "I don't know...ask me again some other time."

Negan nodded, meeting his eyes.

"I'll hold you to that." He promised. "Goodnight, Carl"

"Goodnight, negan. See you tomorrow."

The taller man turned away with a smile.

"That you will."

 

\-----

 

"Hey, Doc, what's going on? Arat called me up here cause no one could reach negan and-"

Simon stopped mid sentence as his heart shot up into his throat.  
He could feel the pounding overwhelming him as he glanced over Dr.Carson's shoulder and saw who the camper was laying still in the bed.

"No,no,no..." Simon whispered, brushing past him quickly and going into the only private room they had. He raised his hand to brush a strand of her blonde hair from her face but resisted when he remembered his colleagues were present.  
It would not look good on him if he was touching a camper like that with out her permission not to mention in the state she was in. 

"What hap...? I don't understand?" Was the most intelligent sentence he could form right now.

"Arat found miss Greene in the girl's shower. She was unconscious and had a shaving razor...we assume she was-"

"Stop!" Simon shouted as the nausea began to form in his stomach again.  
He was just talking with her this afternoon...  
"I know what you're trying to say."

 

"Well, anyhow, I think negan would want to know about this. Do you know where he is."

"I don't...sorry." Simon said, staring at the girl.

The doctor gave a rundown on how she was stable at the moment and that he needed to talk with Arat and hopefully negan and wondered if he could get him to watch over her while he was away.

"...Of course." Simon replied, already sitting in the chair by her bed.

The doctor nodded and he was off, leaving simon alone with the patient.

Simon's hands trembled as he took her small limp right one in his.  
The sight of her left arm where Dr.Carson had stitched her up was enough to make him lose his dinner but he forced himself to look away and focus on the delicate fingers in his as he ran his thumb over her palm.

This girl was the most precious thing he'd ever seen.  
And probably the nicest person he'd ever met.  
She was sweet and funny and beautiful...  
He hated to see her in this kind of pain and he wished there was something he could do for her.  
He knew right now the only thing he could do was wait.

 

\-----

 

Simon stirred for a second before he sat up, his eyes immediately finding beth in the bed before glancing at his watch.

4:48 am 

He rubbed his eyes as he wondered when hed fallen asleep and slipped his hand back in hers.  
He was going to close his eyes again just for a second when he felt her stir.

"Simon?" She whispered groggily.

"Yeah, beth I'm here. I'm right here."

She grasped his hand firmly and turned over to face him in the bed and cuddle her pillow.

"Whats the...hike thing everyone's talkin' about?" She said, her voice gravelly.

He was about to answer her when she seemed to slip back into unconsciousness.

He watched her for a moment before he slid his chair forward, closer to the bed so their hands wouldn't separate during sleep.

He was wide awake now wondering briefly if he should go get Dr.Carson.

He didn't want them to bother her now that she went back to sleep and he wasn't about to get himself kicked out of her room since they obviously let him stay earlier.

"Sleep tight, beth." He whispered, leaning up to kiss her on the head. "I'll be right here."


	7. What the hell are you doing here?

It didn't take Carl long after he woke up to realise that he hadn't seen beth now in almost 24 hours.  
He really wanted to talk to her to forget the fact that he had no clue what was going to happen today when his family came to see him.  
He wanted to see Judith but he doubted she was the 1 who had RSVP-ed.  
Carl headed up the path to the girl's cabins and hoped that he wouldn't wake his friend if she was planning on sleeping in.

A knock on the door of cabin 2 and he waited a second before knocking again and someone finally opened it, giving him an eye full of Enid.

"Really?" He blurted out staring at the girl's pouting face who seemed comfortable with standing there in her underwear.

"You like?" She asked, forming a fake grin as she pushed her chest out and didn't even bother zipping up her short jean shorts, her panties peaking out.

"No. I actually don't." He replied, tonelessly.

Even though Enid disliked Carl she still hoped that she was getting a sexual rise out of him and frowned when she didn't.

"Look, if you're looking for your ugly little girlfriend?...she didn't come home last night."

Carl stared at her in disbelief.

Enid tried to slam the door in his face but he pushed his way in before she could, still giving her a questioning look.

"Are you hard of hearing?!" She said slow and loud in his face but he didn't even flinch.

"Do you know where she is?!" He cried.

"Why the hell would I know where she is?! Are you frickin' kidding! I hope she stays gone!"

Carl's blood boiled as he balanced his fear of something bad happening to Beth with trying not to react violently to this girl.  
He didn't know how else to react other than with a simple; "What is wrong with you!" And stormed out of the cabin and headed off to continue his search.

To his surprise, Enid came out onto the porch for a comeback.

"Hey, on second thought, why don't you try Simon's cabin?!" She yelled out at him. "Sorry to inform you but I saw her kissing up to him yesterday! She might be cheating on you, Carl!"

Carl paused unable to hold back anymore and he threw her a sarcastic laugh.

"You're one to talk!"

And he just kept on walking, Enid's words sticking with him, hoping that beth really was just simply waking up from a secret night with Simon.

 

\-----

 

The second Simon stirred he immediately looked for beth, sitting up to check on her still laying in the infirmary bed.  
She was in the position on her side, wrapped around the pillow like she had been a few hours before, a peaceful look on her face.

Her fingers were still in his and he smiled at the fact that they'd stayed connected with each other all night.  
He wondered when she'd wake up and if she'd be happy to see him there.  
She seemed to know he was there late in the night but that didn't mean that she wanted to see him right when she remembered how she got here.

He frowned as he thought about everything she'd went through and still would be and finally allowed himself to draw a comforting hand over the blonde strands of soft hair that covered her closed eyes.  
She looked like an angel to him and he hated that she was in so much pain.  
He knew the kids here probably didn't have anyone rooting for them in their life and no one to really talk to either but he really hoped she would confide in someone here whether it was him or not.  
Maybe Carl.  
Or negan, He was usually surprisingly good at stuff like this.  
He didn't care who it was as long as Beth found what would make her happy and hopeful again.

Beth's sleepy sounds brought him out of his thoughts as he realized she was becoming alert.  
He debated on speaking to let her know he was there but found himself just watching her as she began to realize what had happened and where she was.

She sat up quickly and the first thing she looked at was her arm and the second was Simon's concerned eyes.  
Her hand went to her mouth as memories of last night flooded back and she held his hand tighter, closer to her.

"Good morning..." Was all he could manage before she started hyperventilating and looked so lost before bursting into tears.

Simon pulled her into his arms, holding her so close to him and hoping that it was enough to comfort her.

"Shh...its OK." He whispered. "You're OK. I've got you. I'll protect you."

 

\-----

 

To say negan was pissed that he hadn't been informed of the incident with Beth Greene immediately last night was an understatement.  
He wasn't sure which of his employees had been involved but he had his sights set on a few.  
Dr.Carson was first.  
This was his camp and he was going to fire that damn doctor.  
Or put him in a fire, he hadn't decided yet.  
When Arat came to inform him of what had occurred when she found Beth last night, he couldn't bring himself to take it out on her.  
She claimed that she tried to reach him but no one could get through on his radio.  
Or find him for that matter.  
The tough girl actually admitted to going to his cabin to get him even though he had strict rules on never to do that.

Negan sat back in his chair in his office and finished off a day old beer he'd left on the desk.  
He was going to need the strength today.

He knew Beth Greene's sister was coming for a visit and he had no idea how to look her in the eye and say; "Your sister could have died under my care, but you can still trust me to look after her."

He groaned as the coffee nor the few sips of beer had stared working their magic yet and he decided to brew another pot and take it with him to pay a visit to the infirmary.  
He needed to see this all for himself and do damage control.

 

As he waited for the pot to fill up, he noticed another pile of papers he needed to fill out and mail he really ought to read were staring him in the face and the minute he raised his hand to pick out the least intimidating one, a loud, demanding knock came to the door.

Since he'd locked the knob, he had to get up to answer it and he grabbed his bat before opening and was only kind of shocked to see Carl.  
He figured this was about his friend.  
Seeing the boys concerned face made him selfishly hope that he already knew.  
He really didn't want to be the one that had to give him news like that.

"Mornin'...C'mon in, Carl." He offered letting the slowly trudging boy into his office.

"I'm looking for beth..." He said not even hesitating or replying to his 'good morning' like he usually did.

"The few people I've asked don't know where she is and I'm getting really worried. And I figured if anyone knew, it would be you."

Negan couldn't hide his pained expression from him and Carl turned silent and a knot formed in his stomach.

He knew something.

"Carl-"

"Is she OK?"

"Carl, I-"

"Is she OK?"

"Yes." He said. "From what I understand. Yes, beth is stable right now."

"Stable?!" Carl panicked and negan placed a hand on his shoulder to anchor him.

"She's in the infirmary and I was about to go see how she was doing."

"The infirmary? What- why? What happened?"

Negan sighed, dropping his hand and occupying it with the coffee pot that was now full.  
This was where things got tough.

"Have a seat, Carl. Do you drink coffee? Would you like some?"

"...sure, thanks. Just sugar." He said as negan waved containers of both in his hands.  
He waited until negan sat across from him with his own cup to sip his own.

Negan began his next sentence with a sigh, making Carl more nervous.

"I can't tell you the whole story. I'm allowed to know as the owner and a counselor but I can't tell another camper. Not to mention, Beth's now a patient here and if I told you...I would be breaking a serious law."

Carl nodded. "HIPPA."

"Yeah..." Negan replied. "Beth is welcome to tell you anything she wants you to know. But I'm sorry, she has to be the one to do it."

Carl nodded and watched as negan's features twisted to a look of deep regret.

"Carl, I want you to know though that it's hurting me not being able to tell you. One thing we've been with each other from the start is honest."

Carl looked down at the scuffed up floor wishing he could be fully honest with him.

"Haven't we?" Negan prodded when Carl didn't agree right away.   
He wanted Carl to open up but he never pushed.  
Sometimes it took little digs like that to get a person to talk.

 

"Uh, yeah."

 

Negan knew he still wasn't being fully honest then but this was something that Carl would have to offer on his own terms.  
When he was ready.

"I was about to go check on Beth's status before I have to start meeting with parents..." Negan explained. "I can ask beth if she'd like visitors and I can let you know if she does."

Carl nodded, knowing that was as good as he was going to get right now.

"Can I take this with me?" Carl raised the glass mug he held with the faded company logo on it.

"Yeah, of course." Negan smiled as the boy got up. 

Negan tried hard to not say anymore but as he couldn't watch him walk away without saying anything else.  
Carl seemed so shaken and he was most positive that it wasn't only Beth's condition that had him out of sorts.  
He was there for that conversation last night.  
He knew Carl wasn't looking forward to today.

"Carl?"

Negan placed his hand over his, covering it almost entirely, his fingers grasping around his palm.  
Making him feel safe even as his skin tingled from the touch.

"Yeah?"

"If there's anything else you'd like to tell me before families arrive...now's the time to do it."

Carl hesitated, glancing down at his cup.

"I'm good...thank you."

Negan sat up, letting his hand go, giving him the most supportive smile he had.

"That offer's always up." He reminded him.

".. I know." Carl said, choking up but hoping negan wouldn't notice. "See ya later."

He noticed.

Negan let out a long sigh as he tipped back in his chair, knowing this was going to be a stressful day already.  
He knew he needed to hurry at the infirmary.  
He couldn't miss a second of the family meetings if Carl needed him for anything.

Negan groaned standing up and turning off the coffee pot before grabbing his bat.

"I hope you're ready for this day, Lucille because I sure as hell am not."

 

\-----

 

Beth was down to sniffles when she pulled away from Simon's arms.  
He wasn't sure what to say to her now because it was almost as if she didn't want him there.  
Like a switch in her flipped and she suddenly didn't want to be near him.  
Simon frowned as he watched her clearly struggle internally.  
The truth was, he was there for her whether she wanted him there or not.

As everything came back to her, she remembered what Enid had told her earlier yesterday.

_'You know simon and I had a thing the first year I was here...'_

Pulling her knees up to her, she felt so stupid.  
How could she have believed that simon actually cared about her.  
That he would want anything other than just sex with her.  
He was no different than any other guy she'd met.  
She felt tears threatening her eyes again when simon placed a hand on her back, rubbing gently.

"No!" Beth screamed. "Why are you even botherin'?!"

Simon removed his hand but he couldn't help but cast a pained look at her.

"Beth? Darlin', I-"

"No...just go."

Not only was simon confused, he was definitely hurt and he wanted to do what she asked but he was afraid to leave her alone too.

They both looked up then as a knock on the door frame alerted them to a visitor.

Simon locked eyes with negan who was clearly surprised to see him there and so obviously comfortable with the young camper.

"Am I...interrupting?" Negan said, trying to ask simon with his expression while putting on his 'friendly counselor negan' face for beth.

"No..." Simon cleared his throat and stood up."I need to get going."

He couldn't leave without saying something to beth to let her know he still cared about her whether she believed it or not.  
He paused in the doorway, turning back to her.

"Miss beth, I hope you start healing soon and...I'm here for you...if you need me."

Negan stared oddly at his friend as he walked away and decided to deal with that later.  
He had to put the campers first.

Pulling up a chair to Beth's bedside, he put on a smile hoping she would answer some of his questions.

"Hey there, miss Greene. How do you feel this morning?"

The blonde who was laying back in the bed now, messing with a string on the blanket, sighed heavily and he almost thought she wasn't going to speak.

"I'm feelin' OK." She eventually said. "And please...call me Beth"

"Alright, Beth...I was very upset to learn what you went through last night and I would have been here then if I knew. I had accidentally turned my radio off and none of my guys could reach me."

Beth nodded.

"I wasn't offended, Mr.negan. I barely even remember any of it."

"Well, that's understandable." 

She sat in silence after that but the entire time she looked like she had a question nagging at her.

"Mr.negan? Will I be allowed to stay at camp?"

"Of course you are, beth, as long as you want to and feel up to it." he smiled. "But the trouble is I'd like to know what happened last night before we go and make any decisions like that? I'm more than willing to listen if you need someone to talk to."

"I understand what you're trying to say." She said, avoiding his eyes. "You wanna know why I almost died on your property last night."

"Its much more than that, beth." He assured her looking straight at her even though she was incapable of looking at him.  
He genuinely seemed to make her nervous.  
"I care so much about each of you individually. I probably shouldn't...but I do." He laughed.

She turned and smiled at him and he hoped he was getting somewhere.

"I'm not going to go through this again, I promise. I want to live. I just..."

He looked in her tear filled eyes and saw truth in them.

"It's hard when no one ever believes me! About anything!"

"Maybe you can put some trust in me...or how about simon?"

He wanted to see her reaction to him and Beth turned away at the man's name.

"Could you maybe try?" He repeated with a hopeful look.

She sighed again.

"Yeah...I guess." She replied before asking, "Can I see Carl Grimes?"

 

\-----

 

Negan cursed as he realised he was roughly ten minutes late to be in the mess hall.  
He had stayed as long as beth seemed to want to talk and promised that he would send Carl in when he saw him.  
He was sure families would be lined up outside already and really hoped simon hadn't started with out him.  
He had a flash of his conversation with Carl last night and didn't want him to be alone when whoever came to visit him, arrived.  
A few families had gotten there but no one had checked in yet for Carl.  
There were still three and a half hours for people to show up so he couldn't hope yet that they weren't coming.  
He could, but what good would it do.  
Carl wasn't waiting out side yet so that was a good sign too.

Negan waltzed into the building to see Dwight doing most of the organizing even though he asked simon to handle it.  
The man was definitely off his game and he knew it had to have something to do with the Greene girl.  
They would be having a long talk later but now he had to focus on this damn meeting.  
Negan raised his voice at the room but placed a comforting hand on Simon's shoulder.

"Listen up! Families are starting to arrive! I need everyone on their best behavior!"

He thought he saw Dwight snicker.

"So, most of you can go back to your posts because someone has to watch the rest of the kids! Simon and I will be here, Gavin and arat will be at each camp and Dwight and Regina, you will be here watching outside! Simon, you're here with me."

They all agreed because who was going to say no to negan when he was holding 'lucille'.  
Negan patted Simon on the back before walking over to the main door to greet who ever entered first.  
Simon followed him though not being able to keep his question to himself any longer.

"H-how was beth?...when you left? How was she? Did she need anything? Did she talk to you?"

Negan closed his eyes and beat his head back against the frame.

"Simon..." He sighed.

"That's all I wanna know." 

Negan stared into his eyes for what felt like five minutes.

"She's apparently better than last night. She did say she wants to stay and the only thing she wanted was to talk to Carl Grimes."

Simon nodded and turned to walk away.  
He got almost to the other side of the room before negan yelled his name.

The mustached man turned and their eyes met again.

No words were spoken between them.

They didn't need to be.

Simon knew just with one look that he was going to be having a conversation with the man later.

 

\-----

 

"Hey."

Carl didn't know what to expect when he went into Beth's room in the infirmary.  
Negan hadn't been able to tell him much and he understood but that still didn't help his nerves.

The girl's eyes lit up and he rushed over to the bed to give her a hug.

"Are you OK?" Carl asked when he finally let go and sat down at the bottom of her bed.

Beth's head hung as she hesitated.

"Yeah, I guess I am now."

He noticed the stitches on her arm right after that and he stared at her putting two and two together.

"Beth...why?" 

Beth teared up then and Carl gave her another hug.

"The first time I ever..." She trailed off and Carl nodded so she would know she didn't have to say it. "It was at home...right after that incident I told you about."

"With the married guy?"

She nodded.

"Maggie didn't believe me and I began to feel hopeless because not long after that I turned nineteen and my daddy was pushin' me to get married, he's very old-fashioned and I just... it was all so overwhelming."

"Wow...I understand completely." Carl said which was refreshing for her to hear.

"And I had only hurt myself the once until yesterday..."

Beth lay back on the pillows and he was afraid she was going to shut down again.

"Enid..."

"What about Enid?" Carl asked through get gritted teeth.

"She was just so horrible! Like she usually is but...worse!"

"I went looking for you at your cabin this morning and ended up talking to her. She said you were probably with Simon." Carl blushed as he revealed. "I honestly was hoping you had just snuck off to spend the night with him."

Beth's cheeks were even redder than his when he looked at her.

"Carl Grimes! Oh my- seriously?!" She whacked him and he laughed loudly.

"Well, I'm sorry but it is better than thinking you were here!"

She nodded before her small smile turned into a frown.

"Well, forget about simon because there's nothing there for me."

Carl raised a brow at her.

"That's not what I saw when you fell into his arms the other day!"

Beth shook her head.

"I said Forget him, OK?...I have."

"Ok! I won't mention him again." Carl agreed.

Their conversation was cut off then as a knock on the door interrupted them.

The counselor named dwight poked his head in and announced that Beth's sister and brother in-law were there to see her.  
She okayed them and he let them in.

The sister had obviously been informed of her sister's trouble last night because she was crying when she came in and threw herself at beth.

Carl was left awkwardly standing there as they reunited.

"I'm gonna let you guys visit..." He said as beth turned to look at him, inching out the door.

"OK, but come meet my family first." She grinned and he felt like he didn't have a choice.  
Not that he minded too much, they seemed nice enough.

"Carl, this is my sister Maggie."

Carl raised his hand to greet her but the woman got up and smothered him with a hug.

"I'm Maggie, its so nice to meet you! This is my husband Glenn." She smiled at the Asian man who also looked sort of uncomfortable but came over and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you both." Carl smiled. 

"You too." Said Glenn, moving back to lean against the wall.

As Carl got roped into small talk, Gavin knocked on the door again and announced that negan wanted to see him at the mess hall.

He tried not to get too nervous as he told beth that he hoped she was feeling better and that he hoped they all had a good visit.

"How did you meet Carl?" Maggie flashed her sister a teasing grin.

And just when she thought Maggie wouldn't bug her about anything for once.

"On the first day." Beth replied. "And if you think he's anything more than a good friend, you can stop right now. Carl isn't into me."

"But are you into him?"

"Ew, no!" She cried and her thoughts flashed to strong, tanned arms and deep brown eyes.  
She needed to stop her sister in her tracks.  
Sorry, Carl.

"Carl's not into me because he's not into girls, Maggie. Carl is gay!"

"He'd have to be to not be into you!" Maggie complained and Glenn actually laughed as beth covered her face.

"You know you're being more like the annoying meddlesome aunt right now!"

Maggie's grin grew as she shared a look with Glenn.

"Speaking of aunts...in about 6 months, you're gonna be one!" 

Beth gave her an odd look until slowly her eyes grew and she threw her arms around her sister again, forgetting any issues she'd had with her for the moment.

"Y'all are havin' a baby?! Congratulations!"

 

\-----

 

Carl wouldn't remember walking back up the hill to the mess hall that day.  
He was too focused on what was waiting for him.  
He wanted to get this over with so he hoped they wouldn't stay long.  
He felt a little at ease when he saw negan standing out side the door but speaking to him meant meeting with his family so it was kind of a win-lose.

"How was your visit with Beth Greene?" Negan asked trying to put this off for him.

"Good. Her sister came in to visit so I offered to leave and then Mr.Gavin said you wanted to see me."

Negan nodded.

"The person who was coming to see you, arrived. Are you ready?"

"No...but I don't want you to get backlash if I don't visit so..."

"No. Don't make this about me." Negan refused. "Me and my reputation will survive if you want to back out now."

Carl sighed.

"I appreciate the offer but I'm a big boy. I've been through worse than being forced to talk to my family."

Negan searched his eyes for a moment.

"Alright, the rules are, you get an hour if you want it. If you don't, You can walk out at any time but if your group causes a scene then I will escort you outside, behind the building to finish your argument."

"OK." Carl nodded as he walked with negan into the large room and scanned for his parents. 

"He didn't give me a name just said he was your-"

"I see him." Carl cut him off coldly and stalked over to the table that his visitor was at.

"What the hell are you doing here?"


	8. Rule number 3

"What the hell are you doing here?"  
Carl snapped in a low voice so none of the surrounding families would hear.

Shane stood up and looked at him with a immature pout on his face.

"Is that anyway to greet me after I haven't seen you for almost three weeks?" Shane asked grabbing him in a crushing hug.

"Mom and dad couldn't make it this time so I volunteered. I heard poor Carl would have no visitors if I didn't and I couldn't stand the thought of you bein' here all alone."

The man smirked as he sat back down across from him.

Carl looked at him with disgust.

"What made you think that I'd want to see you?"

"I'm your uncle, Carl...C'mon. You and I always have fun together!" Shane winked.

Carl closed his eyes.

"You will never get it, will you?" 

Shane shrugged.

"Get what? Like you never GET a funckin' haircut! You're startin' to look like a damn girl! How you ever gonna get a girlfriend that way?!" Shane added.

"Keep your voice down!" Carl bit out all the while thinking, 'so Dad didn't tell him?'

"Why? Am I gonna embarrass you in front of all your new wittle fwiends?" Shane poked at his arm until Carl jerked away.

"Why did you drive four hours for this?"

"To see my godson, of course!" Shane grinned, leaning closer. "To make sure he wasn't a little tattletale like I warned him not to be!"

Carl sighed, feeling the familiar trapped feeling he usually had since the incident that got him here.

"I said I won't...so I won't."

Shane clapped him on the shoulder.

"Good boy!"

Carl felt like he was going to throw up and it would serve Shane right if he was in the path of it.

He stood quickly then and since he was still staring at Shane he missed negan preparing to come over.  
Carl was going to leave but then he stopped and turned back.

"Have you heard anything on Mr.horvath's condition yet?"

Shane gave looked at him as if he had two heads and realized he shouldn't have even bothered to ask when clearly he couldn't be bothered with anyone's life but his own.

"Who the fuck is that?" 

Carl shook his head, officially done with the man.

"You can go home now, Shane! You can tell mom and dad you saw me. You're off the hook!"

Carl took off then, busting out the back, past simon.  
He couldn't even look at negan right now knowing he saw him leaving in a flurry.  
He really needed to calm down before he spoke to him.

 

\-----

 

"Hey!"

'No' Carl thought as he ignored the voice and kept walking.  
He didn't have the strength to deal with the other boy right now.

"Grimes!"

Ron followed him all the way to their cabin and Carl finally gave in when they got inside so he'd leave him alone.

"What?!"

Ron got closer to him and Carl quickly realised just how much he'd pissed him off.  
Why, he wasn't sure.

"I saw you this morning...." Ron jabbed a finger in his chest.

Carl tried to think of everything he'd done that day but it all seemed like it was so long ago since his interaction just now with Shane.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you're-"

"Enid?!" He shouted. "My girlfriend?!"

"What about her?" Carl was so confused.

"You. Her. Talking. Today!" He was in his face completely now and Carl tried really hard not to back away.

"I went to look for Beth! They are roommates you know?" Carl replied finally remembering why and where he'd talked to Enid. "She opened the door and I asked her if she knew where beth was and she said she didn't come home last night so I asked her where she was and she didn't know. It was no big deal."

"It's a huge deal to me!" Ron screamed, raising a fist at him and Carl flinched. "You trying to steal my girlfriend! She's mine!"

"If you're gonna worry about someone stealing your girlfriend away from you, its not me, trust me." Carl laughed bitterly standing up.

Ron took that as a challenge and threw the first punch. Carl ducked and missed but when Ron caught sight of him again he came at him harder and faster.

"Stop!" Carl cried as their struggle moved to out on the porch.

"Stay the hell away from my girl!" Ron placed his hands around Carl's neck as he pushed him up against the railing of their cabin. The old wood broke apart under their weight and both boys went rolling down the hill past Gavin who was rushing over to try and stop this while whipping out his radio. 

"I don't want Enid!" Carl shouted as he tried to keep Ron from choking him to death.  
Ron suddenly got the upper hand and had Carl pinned to the ground.  
Ron was clearly not convinced yet still attempting a choke hold.

"I'm gay!" He yelled, finally getting the boy to scramble away.

"You fucking sicko!" Ron screamed, rubbing the hands that had touched him on his jeans that were now covered in dirt and leaves.

"Do you believe me now?! I don't want your stupid girlfriend! I don't want any girls! At all!"

Ron noticed negan approaching and added at carl; "You stay the hell away from me!"

"Excuse me!?"

Carl had never seen negan look so angry.  
If there was a time to be afraid of this man, it was right now.  
He couldn't face him.  
He felt so guilty for being the reason for him being called away from the family meetings.  
He couldn't even bare to see the disappointment in his eyes.  
He wasn't sure what was going to happen next but he was pretty sure that he was going to 'shut that shit down'.

"I warned each and every one of you that if you caused a scene like this?! And during the most important day for me to be up there and you made me come down here?!"

Ron actually flinched at each word while Carl just hung his head. 

"And what! Did you think I wasn't going to find out about this, Mr.Anderson? I am EVERYWHERE!"

Negan waved Gavin over and spoke to him using a code only the counselors understood before walking off with just Ron, not even giving Carl another glance.

Carl stared at Gavin and the counselor just shrugged.

"He told me you could go about your business so I guess enjoy your cabin in peace now that your roommate is out of there." Gavin chuckled, heading back to his post.

If Carl admitted to being confused and upset it would be an under statement.

 

\-----

 

"Can we do this anymore?"

Simon looked to his left at the man that he'd known as his best friend for 30 plus years.

He knew when this man was having a bad day.  
Usually he could just look at him and tell but when negan came out with questions like that it was a give in.

"Of course we can." Simon said, patting him on the leg for encouragement.

Negan rubbed both hands over his eyes.

"I need realistic-simon not I'm-gonna-lie-so my-best-friend-feels-better-about-his-life-choices-simon."

The man scratched at his mustache awkwardly. "Well, then the answer is still yes. Yes we can."

Negan chuckled.

"Thanks."

"Do you feel better about your life choices?" Simon prodded.

"Fuck No."

"Didn't think so, just thought I'd ask."

Negan laughed which ended up being an honest one.

"I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

"Of course you would! You're negan!"

Negan turned and gave him a shit-eatting grin.

"So are you."

"Don't start that again! I swear to- you are insufferable!"

"Thanks...I'll be here all week!"

"You better be!" Simon's eyes grew. "Don't leave me alone with these kids!"

"You'd do just fine!" Negan waved a hand. "Besides it seems as though as long as you had beth..."

Simon shook his head dramatically and negan knew just from his expression that he'd really been hurt.

"No. We are not talkin-"

"Yes. We are simon!"

"There's nothing to talk about. She's healing right now." Simon hung his head. "And besides...She wants nothing to do with me."

"Rule number 3."

"Are we really doing this?"

Negan nodded, continuing to talk.

"Falling in love/having a relationship with a camper is against. The. Damn. Rules."

Simon sighed, looking away from him.

"Its not going to be a problem." He said, unable to mask the pain in his voice.

But his statement was good enough for negan.

Since Simon wanted to drop the subject he asked negan about the incident earlier with the boys from cabin 7.

"So what did you end up doing with our prisoner?" Simon wondered.

"Oh," negan smirked. "I took him to imprison him...in prison." 

Simon shook his head at the joke.

"No, really?"

"Right now he's washing dishes but he will be in solitary confinement for the night. I don't want him around Carl Grimes."

"Rule number 3, blah,blah,blah!" Simon teased in a high voice.

Negan shook his head at him this time, his facial expressions not even budging.

"You're really going to use my own rules against me for a fucking joke?"

Simon looked slightly nervous.

"No, negan. You know I'm just teasin', C'mon!"

"Yeah, you better be!"

 

\-----

 

Negan didn't make a single move when the door opened to his office and slammed behind the very upset looking boy standing in front of him.

"How did you know to find me here? It's after hours." Negan asked calmly which almost upset Carl more.

"I saw the light was on when I was going for a walk and-"

Negan cut him off by holding up a hand.

"Just stop, Carl. If you're going to sneak out to talk, let's not add lying to list of offenses."

Carl sat back looking defeated but negan didn't say anything.  
He wanted Carl to speak his mind first.  
He knew he had a lot to get off his chest.

"Why did you only punish Ron for that fight we had earlier? And you never even looked at me!" He realised, becoming angrier. "You acted like I wasn't even there."

"How did Ron manage to get angry with you this time?"

Carl appeared to be embarrassed now.

"This is stupid..."

"Ill be the judge of that." Negan replied.

"He thought I was...flirting with Enid this morning."

Negan chuckled. "I should've trusted your judgement."

"I went to go see beth earlier because I realized I hadn't seen her in hours and of course she wasn't there. This was before I came to you..."

Negan nodded, listening.

"Enid answered the door in her underwear and I guess Ron saw this happen and I just...don't want to think about it." Carl looked nauseous, his eyes as if he could get the image out of his brain that way.

"He jumped you for hittin' on his girl?"

"Yeah, which is ridiculous because..."

Carl left off there, realising what he was going to say might not be accepted.

"Because?" Negan prompted.

The older man looked so supportive.  
Maybe that's why Carl decided to blurt out.

"...I'm gay."

Negan couldn't contain a big grin at that.

"Well, That would qualify you as ridiculous for hitting on a girl."

Carl relaxed a little as he laughed with negan.

So the man was supportive?

Carl was silent while he came to terms with what he just admitted.  
Even though negan didn't seem against it whatsoever, it still put Carl on edge to put him self out there like that. 

"Why didn't you ask me to come with you too? After you broke up the fight?" Carl asked after thinking for a moment.

Negan gave him a signature cheeky grin.

"You jealous?" He asked and Carl couldn't hold back a small breathy laugh.  
Negan took note that he didn't say he wasn't.

"I knew I didn't have to ask you to come see me because I just knew you would. You weren't even in trouble for the fight so why drag you away?" He explained. "And...if I looked at you then, I wouldn't have been able to stop tending to these marks you've got."

Carl blushed furiously and hoped negan couldn't tell in the lamp light.  
Negan stood and came around to him and Carl's heart beat quickened as negan raised his hands to grasp either side of his head gently.  
The younger man was silent as negan inspected the red ring around his neck and the one bruise Ron had been able to make on his jaw.  
Negan ran a thumb over that spot and sighed.  
When he finally let go, Carl couldn't manage to say anything.

He watched the man as he walked back around to rifle through a drawer and pulled out a bottle of aspirin and a water out from his personal stash.

"Take two." He offered. "You'll thank me in the morning."

Carl nodded and set to doing what he asked.

"So why did you think I'd come find you?"

Negan chuckled as he signed his name on the last paper in the stack.  
At least now he could focus on Carl.

"You don't let stuff go, do you?"

Carl raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"No."

Negan sighed, leaning back in his chair before realizing that he didn't want to have this conversation across the desk.  
He came over to sit in the chair next to Carl.

"I didn't want to bring this up, because it really is none of my business but...I figured you'd wanna talk to somebody about that family meeting you had. I saw the whole thing, Carl. I-"

Carl got up from his seat and began pacing back an forth beside negan.  
He couldn't help it.  
Shane made his blood boil.  
It was better than punching a hole in negan's wall.

"You saw the whole thing!? Really?! Did you see his ego growing by the second! Or how he has no compassion for anyone! Or how about how he belittles me any chance he gets! I was prepared to see my parents today! Not him!"

Negan stared at him in shock.  
Carl's breathing was intense as he tried to calm down but their eyes were still locked.

Negan didn't know what else to say other than; "I'm sorry."

"For what!" Carl was still clearly agitated. "You didn't do any of those things! And you definitely didn't fuck up and make your teenage godson take the blame for it!"

Negan's eye widened and Carl realised what he'd said.

"Forget what I just said." Carl panicked, "I'm serious. Forget all of it! Anything I've ever said to you!"

Negan shook his head as many different emotions ran through him.  
He felt anger instantly when he realised that the man he'd shaken hands with today had messed with this sweet boy and screwed with his life.  
The surprise that hit him at the revelation of how alike they were when you looked beneath the surface.  
And sadness of because they were a lot alike that probably meant Carl had pain to go with it just like he did.  
He stood, coming closer to Carl and the poor boy looked like he was going to have a complete break down.

Negan wrapped Carl in his arms until he returned the embrace.  
Carl had only known this man a few weeks but that didn't change how cared for and safe he felt in his arms.  
It was like the outside world around them didn't exist and it was just them and all their troubles couldn't break through.  
Neither knew how long they had stood there but after a while negan spoke, his voice a little hoarse.

"Talk to me..."

It took him a minute or two before negan felt him sigh against his chest and then let go and push him away.

"I...can't." Carl said facing away from him.

"Carl, I will never ever make you do anything you don't want to do," he paused for a second. "But anything you say to me will stay between us. I won't tell the other counselors, your family, no one. Anything that happens between us, stays between us."

Carl turned back to look him in the eye.  
He was telling the truth.

"Are you las Vegas?"

Negan cracked a knee weakening smile and Carl was pretty proud of himself until negan got serious again.

"Don't do that to me. Don't pull something like a joke to try and get me to forget what's really happening here. That's something I would do."

Carl gave him a small smile and negan sighed.

"I don't care how long it takes you to tell me what your godfather did...I won't push you...ever. But I want you to promise me that when you're ready, you'll come to me. You'll talk to me. Can you promise me that?"

It took him a minute or two but negan finally got an answer.

"I will. I promise."


	9. I know misunderstood when I see it

"So, how was your family meeting?" Beth asked getting a groan as a response from Carl.

"My god father came. He's...I don't know what to tell you other than he's an asshole."

"I'm sorry, Carl." Beth frowned.

"There's Nothing anyone can do about that." He laughed bitterly.

"He can! Your godfather can try to be a nice person!"

Carl shook his head.

"That's just not possible for him...I don't think it's even- no, beth, you'd understand if you met him."

"I wish there was somethin' I could do." Beth sighed.

"Unless you can turn back time, there's nothing." Carl said rubbing over his forehead in frustration. "Let's talk about your family. They were nice! Your sister didn't seem like she'd send you here."

"Yeah, Maggie is great most of the time but she does everything daddy says...except for marry Glenn."

"Your dad doesn't like Glenn?"

"He does now but not at first. Glenn had to prove himself to him when Maggie brought him home to meet us."

"Wow."

"Yeah, for a while I really thought it was gonna tear our family apart. It was also not long after we lost momma so daddy wasn't very willing to do much of anything much less agree to have an Asian man as a son in-law."

"I hate discrimination." Carl said.

Beth nodded.

"Me too. I'm glad my sister got away from it and went to college. That's when she met Glenn."

Carl smiled, thinking about how nice that was.

"Oh, I almost forgot! I'm gonna be an aunt! Maggie's pregnant!"

Carl chuckled at her enthusiasm. Thinking how great she would be at being a doting aunt or even a mom. He could just tell.

"Congrats, That's great!"

 

\-----

 

"Alright!" Negan spoke loudly so all the counselors would pay attention to him. "Before we get started, is there anything I need to know?"

Gavin who was in charge of the dining hall today raised a hand to get negan's attention.

"We have a couple of issues." He explained."The first being, the produce truck has been delayed for the next few days from a problem at the plant. The other being the lady who was doing the inventory, I caught eatting the inventory. I almost fired her but I figured you'd want the pleasure of doing that."

"Olivia?" Negan rolled his eyes.

Gavin nodded.

"OK, I'll take care of her later." He said. "Anything else?"

"No sir."

"Alright then, moving on." negan continued. "I have a problem and that's, we're supposed to be going on the hike on Tuesday and we have campers that shouldn't attend."

"Don't bring them." Dwight shrugged.

"I don't think it's that easy..." Simon offered.

"Very good, Mr.Simon! It is not that easy! I can't leave 'em here with a guard because they could still cause trouble! And I can't bring 'em because they could cause trouble with us!"

"I don't mind staying behind to watch them if that's what is safer." Dwight said.

Negan considered his options.

"Basically I need two male counselors and two female counselors to handle this particular group."

The counselors around agreed.

"Who's watching miss greene while you're gone?" Arat asked.

Negan didn't dare look at simon but he could tell he made an uncomfortable movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Miss greene will be allowed to join us on the hike if she's feeling up to it."

Arat seemed surprised but agreed with him.

"Anything else?"

The room agreed there was nothing else to discuss.

Meeting adjourned.

 

\-----

 

As Carl walked back to his cabin from the infirmary, he was able to clear his head a little as he enjoyed the pathways and having the sun beaming down through the trees.  
He'd barely been able to really appreciate the areas of greenery and the lake because of all the drama that had been going on since he arrived.  
He never thought he was going to like it here or like ant of the people here but mostly they were nice.  
The nature was absolutely relaxing and he wasn't sure how any of the kids here with anger issues could have them once they got here.  
You could absolutely spend your entire day staring at the tree tops or the water flowing and shimmering in the lake.  
He sighed as he almost got lost in the sounds of the breeze blowing the warm air through the wild flowers on the path when a voice that he didn't want to hear called out to him from the side of a building and he couldn't help but pause.

"So you're telling me that you're not only a kiss up you're also prissy on top of it!"

Carl sighed and turned around to face Ron who had been painting a rough patch on the outside of a meeting room.  
He reminded him so much of Shane and wondered if the man had been anything like this when we was in his teens.  
Or worse, if this kid was going to grow up to be just like him.

Carl marched over to him and looked him in the eyes.

"Do you not realize that I'm not like you. I don't want to spend my life here. It's not being a kiss up its called being a good person."

Carl headed away again now until Ron called back.

"You cant be a homo and a good person!"

Carl's blood simmered and he spun around.

"Hey, Mr.Grimes!"

Carl looked over to see Simon jogging over.

"Its not worth it."

Carl glared at him for a moment before the look in his eyes softened.

"Yeah, you're right."

"Cmon, Gavin's got this covered, I'll walk with you. I gotta relieve Dwight anyway."

Carl nodded, picking up his pace to keep up with the man.

"That boy is somethin' else, isn't he?" Simon offered which surprised Carl.   
He didn't think the staff was supposed to talk bad about the campers.  
At least not to the other campers.

"Yeah...you can say that." Carl agreed.

"I'm tellin' you, Ron Anderson has been a thorn in our side for the past five years. If I never see him again, it'll be too soon. None of us here blame you for any issues between you and that devil kid."

Carl chuckled.

"Thanks. I know we're all basically delinquents but...I hope I haven't caused any trouble like that or I guess I hope you guys don't think of me like you do him."

Simon grinned, patting him on the shoulder

"No, not at all. There are plenty of kids here that we feel are real potentials. You're definitely one of them."

The man's joyful tone didn't seem to last long and Carl remembered a comment about him and beth and a flash of that day the man caught her came to him as they rounded the big bushes that led into the boy's camp.

"Beth's going to be OK," he said, looking him in the eye. "But she needs time to heal not space. You should go see her."

It was clear, the internal battle the man was dealing with in his heart and mind were almost crippling.  
He didn't know what beth had told him or how much of his own feelings he should reveal to him.

"Carl, she doesn't want to see me." He said simply.

The blue eyed boy frowned at his answer and headed up the hill to cabin 7 before turning back around.

"Make sure you're sure before you give up on her!" He called before he shut door giving the man something to think about.

 

\-----

 

Beth's eyes fluttered open as she realized all the restlessness she was having during her nap.  
After Carl left she'd gotten tired quickly and lay down after lunch.

She couldn't seem to shake an odd feeling.  
One that sent a creepy shiver down her spine.  
She knew no one was in the room with her, although it felt like there was and the moment she turned over and confirmed the presence of another person, she let out a loud, shrill scream.

 

\-----

The campers were all interested to see why their leader had called them all to the front of the camp where the meeting speech had occurred on that first day that seemed so recent yet so long ago.

Carl would never admit it but he was looking forward to seeing negan present another speech.  
He loved hearing the velvety voice using such a commanding tone.

One of the campers that Carl had only talked to a few times ended up sitting next to him and chatting while they waited.  
It was the Sophia girl who he'd heard about the hike from to begin with.

"Are you excited?" She asked with a grin. "I am! I'm so excited! I'd heard about this days ago and wondered what it was!"

Carl chuckled. "Yeah, me too."

The door to the main office swung open and negan sauntered out but this time of course, he could skip the introductions.

All the campers eyes were on him and he cleared his throat to make sure they were all going to be quiet while he made his announcement.

"The morning after tomorrow, we will be leaving the camp grounds and going on a hike through these woods!" Negan pointed to the forest to his left. "I will be leading the group as always and heading to a destination where we will spend one night and come back the next day! It is not optional unless I have decided in advance that you are NOT allowed to join in! The rules that apply here, apply there! I will not be any more lenient with those rules and if I decide to make any rules on the spot, I will because I can! Any questions?"

One of the girl campers towards the front stood and asked about bags.

"I'm glad you asked that miss smith, you are allowed to bring what you are willing to carry. No one else will be toting anything around for you. Especially not any of the counselors!"

Another kid stood up and he asked if he was going to starve them on this trip.

Negan didn't even try to hide his eye roll.

"No, we will provide your meals while we're gone."

Negan wrapped up the announcement not long after but before he could get back inside, Enid caught up to him with a supposed question.

Carl watched their interaction from across the way and eyed the girl carefully.  
He knew what she was doing.  
He could see the way her hip jutted to the side, putting on a bright smile and talking with her hands.  
She was without a doubt flirting with the man.  
Part of Carl's stomach twisted with an odd tightness while the other half knew that negan wouldn't fall for something like that.  
Not that he cared.  
He couldn't do anything about it even if he did.  
He shouldn't even if he could.  
What if negan liked her?  
But who would?  
And negan looked like he was leaning back, so far away from her that he would bend backwards at any second.

His heart said interrupt them but his brain...

Also said interrupt them.

Carl boldly strolled over to the two and waited ever so patiently until negan cut Enid off to ask him if he needed something.

"I just had a question whenever you're done here, Mr.negan." Carl said, politely stepping away just a foot or so.

Negan turned back to Enid and obviously brought her ongoing nonsense to a close quickly.  
Begrudgingly she finished up and walked away, glaring at Carl as she left.

"Thank you." Negan said to Carl when he was close enough to him that he could hear but Enid couldn't. "You have no idea the scenarios I had been trying to concoct in my head of how to make her go away."

Carl's grin grew and he let out one of the very few honest laughs negan had ever heard from him.

"You just looked...uncomfortable. I couldn't let you suffer like that."

"She won't ever take no for an answer! She has been trying to worm her way into my good graces and I'm pretty sure my bed for past three years and she's not getting in either one."

Carl chuckled again after an involuntary sigh of relief.

"If only you knew what she was here for to begin with!"

"I'll think on it. If I guess correctly... Will you tell me?"

"I shouldn't." Negan warned, smirking.

Carl thought for a moment while they walked towards the shade of a tree.  
He knew negan would tell him so he attempted.

"Well, the length of her shorts should be a punishable offense to start with." He observed as something beth had told him about the girl popped back into his mind.

"Was she sent here for sleeping around?"

Negan rolled his eyes dramatically.

"How did you possibly guess? And the technical term is Promiscuities."

"Gee, I could tell just by looking at her."

"I know beth was partially sent here for that too."

"Yes, but the thing is, we know not every camper is sent here for things they've done. It's things people think they've done."

Carl swallowed hard, looking down at his shoes as negan's intense gaze was too much for him.  
He wanted to tell him.

"Yeah, we do." 

"I don't think Beth's reason is true. I see a girl that's misunderstood." Negan said, hooking his knuckle under Carl's chin to turn his head up to look at him. "I know misunderstood when I see it."

 

\-----

 

Every counselor had learned their lesson from the last time that negan should NOT EVER be kept in the dark about his campers or anything going on at his camp.

Regina had surprised him when she radioed in a quiet but firm voice about another incident with their patient, beth Greene.  
He immediately took off for the infirmary and was met with total chaos.

All the staff there were huddled around the panicked girl and no one seemed to be able to calm her.

She was trembling and mumbling and they couldn't help her.

"Back off!" Beth screamed as Dr.Carson tried to get close.  
Beth put her hands out to keep him at a distance.

Negan only watched this for a second before he recognized the girl's reactions.  
Some people dealt with this differently but this was common for girls and woman.  
Negan's heart hurt for her and he knew he would need to approach with caution.

Dr.Carson however was not as understanding.  
He just wanted to get to her to do his treatment regimen the only way he knew how.

She flinched away from him and negan cleared his throat loudly, tapping his bat on the doorway to make a statement.

"She told you to back off so you back. the. fuck. off." He said looking directly at the doctor who seemed surprised to see him.

"But I'm her doc-"

"I don't care if you're her sister, her daddy, her neighbor, or her dog! You step away if someone asks you to step away!"

Beth by now was hiding in her knees, in a ball under the blankets.

"I would like every one of you to step out except for Regina. "

"But-" Dr.Carson stuttered.

That was the last time this man was going to not jump when negan said jump.

"do NOT make me repeat myself!" Negan shouted.

Once everyone cleared out, negan had Regina go over to beth and talk her into coming out from under the covers.  
Once she was receptive, negan approached her slowly.

"Would you mind if I had a seat, miss beth?" The tall man asked.

"Go ahead." She whispered, resting her chin on her knees.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Beth shrugged.

"You wouldn't believe me if I did."

"Try me." 

Beth sighed, staying silent.

"Would you tell Regina?"

She shook her head.

Negan sighed.

"What about Carl? Could you tell Carl?"

She thought for a moment and nodded.

Negan excused himself, leaving Regina to try and comfort her.  
He needed to get a hold of Carl quickly so they could know what happened.  
He was walking out through the hall and about to flick his radio to get Simon's when he overheard a conversation between Dr.Carson and one of the nurses.

"I thought we agreed not to call negan." He hissed. "This is my infirmary! I can take care of the patients!"

"Negan is to be called every time! It's his camp!" The woman replied.

Negan pushed the door open to their surprised expressions and the nurse stood up straight, looking nervous.

"Thank you, nurse cloyd." Negan grinned at her. "I expect you'll find a raise in your check next pay day. You'll get another if you leave Dr.Carson and I alone for a chat..."

The blonde nodded, avoiding eye contact.  
"Thank you Mr.negan!" She bowed, rushing out the door.

"So what were you saying?" Negan chuckled darkly as he waved his bat around near Carson's face. "Its YOUR infirmary?"

 

\-----

 

"What's going on?" Carl asked as he hurried out of his room and down to where simon was waiting to walk him up to the front of the grounds.

"I don't know everything but I know negan said beth was asking for you and wouldn't talk to anyone but you."

Carl was silent for most of the time they were walking which was just fine with simon, he had his own thoughts about beth that were plaguing him.

 

They arrived at the infirmary to find half the staff guarding the doors.  
Negan met them outside when he heard they'd arrived.

"I don't know what happened. She won't tell me." Negan said to Carl seriously. "But if you can tell me what she says then maybe we can help her."

Carl nodded.

"Should I go in now? Is the doctor in there with her."

A blank look cast over negan's face.

"Regina was waiting with her so she wouldn't be alone but we no longer have a doctor at camp. I know a guy I can call to replace Dr.Carson but don't worry about that, Carl. Our focus is finding out what's got beth so spooked."

Carl nodded, going in after negan's orders, leaving simon and negan in the main room.

\-----

 

"Beth?" Carl said, entering with a small smile.

Beth reached out her arms for a hug and Carl came right over, trading places with Regina and the woman slipped out while the two friends embraced.  
Carl held beth until she let go and he sat on her bed across from her.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He asked as she was still trembling. 

"There..." Beth stammered. She couldn't say it out loud but Carl was patient.

"There-there was a man in here!" She cried, tearing up. "If you don't believe me-"

Carl touched her hand.

"Beth, I believe you."

The blonde stared at him.

"Really?"

"Of course I believe you." Carl said.  
Beth lunged forward and threw her arms around his neck.

"I've never heard that before." She whispered.

Carl grinned, petting her hair. "Get used to it."

 

\-----

 

"Uh, negan?" 

Negan and simon both jumped up from their conversation and negan went over to see what beth had to say.

"She said she would be willing to tell you if you keep an open mind."

Negan smiled at him.

"I think I can agree with those terms." 

 

"Miss beth, I heard you had something you needed to tell me."

The blonde swallowed hard and as she spoke, it wasn't very loud.

"A man was in my room."

Negan's eyebrows went up as far as they could go.  
He ran a stressed hand over his chin as he seemed shocked at this.

"What did he look like?"

She stared at him, not expecting that.  
She didn't think he was going to believe her so she wasn't prepared to tell him more.

"Uh...he was not as tall as you but I...I think I know him."

"You know the man that was in your room?"

She shook her head.

"How do you know him?"

Beth fell silent again so negan continued with the only way he knew how.

"Beth, I want you to know that I'm going to have a guard outside your door tonight and nurse cloyd will be checking in on you. I want you to know that no one else here came into contact with a mysterious person but that doesn't mean they weren't here. I will put every precaution I have, in place to deal with this. He won't get to you again."

She looked nervously at him but offered a 'thank you'.

"You're very welcome, miss beth. You're safe here, I promise."


	10. Because

"Everything go okay last night, miss beth?"

Beth smiled and nodded as she was greeted by their leader first thing that morning.

"I'm glad to hear it." He said. "Now, I was going to release you today if you think you're feeling better but if you're not..."

Beth nodded.

"We never found any disturbances on the grounds here last night but we still have guards out to be sure nothing else gets in. I understand if you want to skip the hike tomorrow but-"

"No." She interrupted him in a panic. "I'm not stayin' here alone."

Negan nodded.

"Alright." He said, moving back to the doorway. "If that's what you want then I'm gonna have to bring the new doctor in to meet you. Are you comfortable with that?"

It took her a moment but she accepted.

Negan wasn't gone long before he came back in with a friendly looking young guy.  
Younger than the other doctor anyway.

"Hi, miss greene, I'm doctor Carson, I heard you've had a rough few days at the camp."

Beth gave negan a strange look as 'Dr.Carson 2.0' held out his hand.

"Actually I prefer dr.Harlan." The man continued. "I'm the brother of your previous doctor but I really don't like being associated with his work."

"Oh,OK." Beth giggled, shaking his hand. "That makes sense."

"Alright, now that you've been introduced, I have a lot to do so I have to get going but Regina is right outside the door if you need anything." Negan announced.

Beth nodded and thanked negan as he left.

"Alright," Dr.harlan said "let's check you over and then it sounds like you'll be ready to go!"

 

\-----

 

"You packed yet?" Simon asked as he and negan walked back to the counselor's cabin area.

"No, I'm heading to do that now. I had to check on beth greene and get her met with the new doc so she can be released today."

Simon gave a small nod but didn't say anything.

"She's gonna have to have a personal guard in case this man she saw was real. I'm not saying she imagined him but no one gets in my camp without me knowing."

Simon agreed.

"Basically, I need to be ready if there's an intruder or if I need to treat this girl for panic attacks. We need to protect her either way."

"No, I'm with you one hundred percent."

Negan eyed him suspiciously, remembering that conversation from the other day about his friend's feelings for the girl.

"I'm sure you are."

"Negan, I told you. I don't have a thing for her. She doesn't even want to be friends with me!"

Negan had to drop it but he was concerned that simon was too far gone to adhere to the rules.

"Alright. The girl's been through a lot though. I'd hate to see someone close to me leading her on when he wasn't allowed to have a relationship with her..."

"I said let it go!" Simon screamed at him, slamming the door of his cabin.

Negan stared at the closed door in shock.  
They hadn't had a fight like this since they were fourteen.

 

\-----

 

Carl tried to ignore the nervousness he felt when Ron threw the door of the cabin open and stomped into the room.

He was minding his own business, packing his back pack for tomorrow and hoped that the older boy would just leave him alone.

He knew that was unlikely but he could dream.

To Carl's surprise, the boy started packing his own bag in silence and all he could figure is that he decided he didn't want to talk to someone who was gay, even to harass them.

If things had been like this between them from the beginning, Carl could have handled that.  
Maybe Ron Anderson had turned over a new leaf.  
A new person.  
A new outlook on-

"I told Mr.dickwad that I didn't want to be in a cabin with a boy who might touch me while I'm asleep but I don't know if the idiot's gonna do anything about it. He said I had to stay here tonight." Ron called across the cabin at him.

Carl froze.

He didn't care what Ron said about him.

He was used to bigoted people.

It was the disrespect of negan that made him want to borrow the man's bat to beat the holy hell out of him.

"If you are talking about negan that way-"

"Ooh, touched a nerve? Does the fag have a crush?"

Carl glared darkly at the other boy but couldn't hide his blush as hard as he tried.

"No." He replied, feeling as though that might just be a lie. "But I do have respect which is Something you will never have."

Ron darted over to throw Carl up against the wall with his fists.  
It was the closest he would get to him.  
Violence must be worth it to him to risk getting the 'gay germs' near him.

"Boys!"

Ron turned to see Gavin in the doorway and stepped away from Carl.

"Mr.Grimes, you have a call from a family member waiting in the front office. Go!"

Carl hesitated.

"Did the caller say who they were?"

"I'm not sure. Ms.Amber might have mentioned it was your mother."

"Alright...thanks." 

He was glad to get out of there.

 

Carl awkwardly stood at the desk in the office as the blonde finished another call.

"Yes? are you Carl Grimes?" She smiled.

"Yeah, I was told I had a phone call?"

"Yes. The room right next door to the left. Pick up the phone and Press the number two that's blinking."

"Thanks."

Carl left and went into the very outdated room that had one old computer and a phone.  
He sat in the scuffed up, hard, leather chair and hesitantly picked up the phone and pressed two.

"...Hello?"

"Hi, sweetie, its mom."

Carl let out the breath he was holding.

"Hey, mom. How are you?"

"I miss you. How are you?"

"Fine. Its nice here."

"I'm glad. Are you listening to Mr.negan?"

A flash of all his deep, personal conversations with the man came to him and he almost laughed in the speaker.

"Yeah, I am. He's a good guy. He's easy to relate to."

"Well, that's good. I'm glad you're being a good boy. Have you been thinking hard about what you've done?"

Carl rolled his eyes.

"Isn't that what you sent me here for?"

"Of course but I feared you'd be so mad at us that you'd take it out on your counselors and not end up learning from your mistake. Are you making any friends?"

Only a mother could transition into conversations like that so easily.

"Yeah, I'm really good friends with a girl named-"

"A girl?! Who is she? What is she there for? Have you asked her out?"

Carl closed his eyes not knowing how to deal with this over the phone.  
So his dad hadn't told his mom either?

"No. We are JUST friends."

"Oh...OK, well maybe we can meet her on Saturday. Your father and I are coming to visit since we couldn't make it last time."

Carl rubbed a hand over his forehead in frustration.

"Can you bring Judith?" Was all he could say.

"We'll see." She said. "We'll try."

He thought that was odd but didn't question it.

"Ok, I gotta go, mom." He told her, not being able to put up with the awkward small talk anymore. "We're going on a hike tomorrow so i gotta pack."

"OK, have fun, honey. You can tell us all about it this weekend! And listen, your father and I have something to tell you too it's very serious and personal and we want to tell you face to face."

Carl was struck with sick feeling over that warning.

"Uh, mom...any word on Mr.horvath?"

"No, I'm sorry, Carl...he's still in the coma."

Carl was only half relieved. At least it wasn't about him.

"Oh...Alright," He said solemnly. "Bye."

"Bye, be safe. love you!"

Carl sighed.

"Love you too, mom."

 

\-----

 

"Knock, knock." Carl grinned from the doorway of Beth's new single cabin. "I heard you were moving."

The blonde came from putting her clothes away in the dresser and greeted him with a hug.

"This is great, isn't it?" She grinned.

"Definitely." Carl said. "I'm jealous."

Beth giggled.

"I love the window seat." Carl said.

"Yeah, I definitely plan to sit and read there when we're not busy of course!"

Carl watched her, happy that she was looking better.

"Well, don't let me stop you from packing. I gotta get back too. I just wanted to make sure you were getting settled in OK."

Beth nodded, hugging him again.

"I am! And I can wait for the hike tomorrow! I hope we can be trail buddies!"

Carl laughed at her enthusiasm. 

"Yeah, me too. Do you need help with anything before I go?"

"I think I'm good." She smiled. "Thanks, Carl. I don't know what I'd do without you..."

"You're strong." He beamed. "You'd manage!"

 

\-----

 

Negan knew as soon as he heard the knock that it was simon.  
They had hardly ever fought in the thirty plus years they had known each other so he knew this rift wouldn't last long.  
He probably stood, staring back and forth with simon for five minutes before the shorter man stammered.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Negan wondered.

"For slamming the door in your face."

"Alright, I accept." He said, nodding and stepping aside to invite him in.

Simon entered and sat down on the second chair at the small kitchenette table.  
He noticed the half empty bottle of beer on the surface and wondered if that was from today.

It probably was.

Simon avoided Negan's eyes and ran a hand through his hair as he considered what to say next.

"I'm not going to bring this up again," Negan said before he could. "But I want to make things clear. I have to make sure we're on the same page and I need you to do something for me."

Simon nodded, still frowning.

"Look, you say you're not in love with beth greene. Okay, I believe you. But the thing is I know I can't forbid or stop people from falling in love. I'm not an idiot. What I can prevent though is counselors doing anything about it. These kids are here to get their life back on track. They don't need to get caught up in flings with the people who are trying to guide them. It won't end well!"

Negan was getting increasingly angry by the second and simon knew that was never a good sign.

"But can I ask a hypothetical question? I told you I'm not in love with beth...I'm not. But if I was...the girl is nineteen! She's legal age! Its not like I'd be going after a-a child!"

Negan stepped forward and pressed a finger into his chest, screaming on his face.

"Don't you EVER say that again! That is a VERY serious matter!"

Simon held up is hands in surrender or to protect himself he wasn't sure which.

"Yes, I know. But that's my point."

Negan considered his friend's words. 

"If an adult camper wants to have a relationship with a counselor after camp is over, that's nothing I can stop...But it WILL NOT happen on my property."

Simon nodded.

"OK."

"I'm sorry for yelling" negan said, surprising him. "but that's something that I find important."

Simon gave another tilt of his head.

"That's fine. I get it."

No. He didn't.

"Alright, so since you aren't going to be effected by her..." Negan continued, changing the direction of the conversation. "I need you to sit and guard her cabin tonight. I moved her to a single cabin and I need someone I trust to do this. Someone who can take on an intruder if they show up."

The mustached man's jaw almost hit the wood floor.

"Alright." Simon said, attempting a toneless voice. "No problem."

"If it is...I can get someone-"

There was no way in hell he was trusting anyone else with Beth's safety even if this task was going to practically rip his heart out.

"No. I'm your guy."

Negan nodded, seeming as if he believed him for the first time that he was through with whatever he'd had with the girl.

"Alright."

Simon stood up to leave, needing to get back to packing.

Negan gave him a quick hug to show the man that they were good again.

"See ya later!" Simon called as negan shut the door.

Negan grabbed the beer off the table and sat next to his half packed bag on the bed with a sigh, finishing off the bottle as he thought through everything he'd just discussed with simon and landed on the moment he flipped out on the man.

He guessed some demons would just never go away.

 

\-----

 

Beth jumped out of her skin the second she heard a knock on the door to her cabin as the sun set outside.  
She was hesitant but she figured creeps don't usually knock so she took her chances with the visitor.

"Good evening, miss greene." Simon smiled politely as he tried so hard not to glance over the cute sundress she was wearing. "I just wanted to let you know, I am your guard for this evening. I will be right out in front of your cabin tonight so don't be afraid. No one will get near you. I promise."

"Al-alright." Was all she could say.

He gave her a nod, walking away without another word and she stared after him as he sat down in a chair.  
This was definitely the last thing she was expecting.  
She eventually shut the door and tried to not let the presence of this man distract her from packing for tomorrow.

She didn't think about him.  
She wondered how he got to be her guard.  
Did he volunteer or did he not have a choice?  
But she didn't think about him.  
She considered that he probably was her best option, besides their leader with his bat, to protect her.  
But she didn't think about him.  
She worried that someone might get lonely out there all night just waiting and watching but she wouldn't, couldn't think about him.

"Snap out of it, beth." She whispered to herself as she tore her eyes away from the window and the sweet man who sat only a couple of yards from her door.

 

\-----

 

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Carl chuckled as he came upon negan on the path.

"Yeah... You too."

Negan grinned back.

"Touché."

"I needed a walk. I've got a lot on my mind and I just...thought it might help."

The taller man nodded.

"Anything I can help you with? Do you have a problem with going on the hike tomorrow?"

Carl shrugged.

"I don't know. No, definitely not that. I'm looking forward to the hike but...Maybe we can just sit for a minute?"

Negan was already up, he wasn't going to refuse an offer like that.

"Of course." He replied gesturing over to the ledge of the porch of an empty cabin.

"My mom called me today." Carl started out, hoping that didn't sound childish. "She claims they're coming on Saturday to visit but she sounded weird."

Negan gave him a questioning look.

"They? Does that mean that guy you don't like is comin' back?" He blurted out.

"Shane? No, god I hope not." Carl said. "But she did say that they had something she and my dad needed to tell me in person."

Negan rubbed over the stubble on his chin as he listened all the while feeling bad for the boy.  
He was probably the kindest person he'd ever met.   
He didn't deserve what ever had happened.  
He wished Carl would just talk to him, maybe he could help.

"That's tough to hear from your parents; we need to talk." Negan said."At any age too. I'm 46 and my parents aren't alive anymore but god...I can still here them say that."

Carl giggled at the thought of negan being told that.  
It was hard to imagine.

"I'm sorry about you losing your parents."

Negan shrugged.

"It was natural. Nothing happened to them so I was thankful for that. The worst part was that it happened close together."

Carl wasn't sure how to react to a sad, wistful negan but ended up patting a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks." Negan whispered.

"I almost lost my dad two years ago." Carl said after a few minutes. "But he was shot, he's a cop. He was in a coma for months and I didn't think I'd ever be able to talk to him again or...anything. We got closer after he woke up last year so I came out to him as soon as the time was right."

Negan smiled.

"How did he take it?"

"Surprisingly well." Carl laughed. "He was supposed to tell my mom after I came here but I don't think he did yet. Maybe he forgot..."

"Yeah, maybe."

Negan was silent for a moment.  
Carl hadn't changed the subject so he figured he might as well add to it.  
Though he didn't look at Carl as he spoke.  
He couldn't.

"My father wasn't accepting when I came out but my mom was...like a mom." He chuckled. "She tried. I mean my parents were...they were born way back when so imagine their only kid, their only son, coming out when he was close to 30. I wish I'd had the balls to do it when I was sixteen. You are a badass."

Carl cracked up.

"Well, I don't know if I'd say that..." He blushed.

"You are!" Negan laughed with him

"Thanks for the compliment I guess." Carl blushed.

Negan grinned and before he could stop himself, staring into those deep blue eyes, he said; "it's not the only one I could give you."

Carl stared back for a moment, getting lost in the man sitting so close to him that their fingers were barely brushing where they leaned.

Negan remembered where they were and who they were and forced himself back into the leader role.

"Uh, It's getting late...we better get some rest but, Carl I hope I helped you some."

Carl gave him one of those shy smiles. The one that made him forget in the first place.

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks for the talk."

Negan waved as he walked towards his cabin across the way.

"Goodnight."

"See you in the morning!" Carl called and somehow that made him feel an odd sense of relief as he walked back to his own cabin to get some much needed rest.

Not that he was going to get to sleep now.

 

\-----

 

She knew that tomorrow would be an early day so as the clock turned to 9:15 she put down her book and took her night gown into the small bathroom to prepare for bed.  
Her mind wandered to the hike tomorrow and who all would be going.   
She hoped she could spend some time with Carl since they'd been apart so much since her incident.  
As she returned to her bed and pulled back the covers, she caught a glimpse of Simon outside, a few feet from the door.  
He still sat right there in that chair, willing to protect her even after she'd lashed out at him that day.  
He had watched over her and been there for her all night that night and she had just kicked him out of her room.  
No explanation.  
He'd held her hand and then pulled her close after she realised what had happened.  
How she could have pushed him away after all that?  
Even if what Enid said was true, did that mean he deserved to be treated like that?  
Someone who stayed by her side must really care and she couldn't let that go.  
And the truth that was starting to hurt more and more was that she missed him.  
She truly, deeply missed him.  
His smile.  
His voice.  
His gentle touch.  
His kindness.  
She sighed as her eyes clouded with tears and she knew what she needed to do.  
Quietly she opened the door and stepped out onto the small porch, tiptoeing barefoot, down through the soft grass and over to him.

"Simon?"

The man jumped up and stared at the girl.  
He was not expecting her to speak to him at all much less come out to see him in her beautiful but very thin nightgown.  
Something must be wrong.  
He was worried but nothing was going to upset her on his watch.

"What's wrong miss greene? Did you hear something? Are you hurt? Are you OK? What?"

She couldn't help but smile at his deep concern for her.

"Yeah, um...could you come in for moment?"

He hesitated.  
He wasn't allowed to go into a girl's cabin without at least another counselor around.  
But that pout she was giving was too much to say no to and he felt her pull at his heart strings.  
For all he knew maybe something really was wrong.  
Maybe she needed someone to talk to.  
After everything she'd gone through lately he wasn't going to turn her down.

"Only for a minute." He warned, following.

As he pushed the door to, he watched her sit on the small window seat and took note that it was big enough for two but he didn't join her.

"I-I realized I never thanked you for sittin' with me the night everything happened..." She choked out.

Simon shook his head and sighed.

"You don't have to thank me for something you didn't want me to do."

"I do though. You didn't have to do that but you did and its not that I didn't want you there..."

"I wanted to." He blurted out. "I wanted to be there for you."

"Why?"

Simon was silent now.  
He couldn't say.

"Because I care about...the kids at this camp and...I felt like I should stay there because..."

Boy did he suck at this lying thing.

"Because?" Beth asked with her sweet blue eyes.

Simon shrugged, wanting to not talk about this with her.

"Because."

Beth let out a sad sigh.  
He wasn't going to talk to her.  
She didn't know why she even bothered.

"Yeah, just like you 'care' about Enid..." She said under her breath.

"What?"

Simon's head snapped her direction and she turned to look out the window.

He walked over to her and sat next to her getting her to finally look him in the eye.

"What do you mean I care about Enid? I can't stand her."

"That doesn't mean you didn't enjoy sleepin' with her!" She cried, scooting away from him, arms crossed.

Simon rubbed a hand over his face as just the thought of beth thinking that made him sick much less the thought of that being true.

"Beth, look at me." He said. "I have never even looked at Enid much less gotten that close to her! Who told you that? Please tell me that's not going around because I don't want anyone thinking that."

Beth's eyes softened.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He smiled at her, reaching over to take her hand in his.

"Enid...she told me and that's why I didn't want to see you that day in the infirmary."

"Why would you listen to that lying b-...girl."

She giggled.

"I don't know."

Both of them stared down at their hands that were clasped together just like when she was in the infirmary and beth scooted closer as simon pulled his feet up on the padded bench, underneath himself.  
He brought her hand up to his lips as she just sat there with a smile.  
He gently turned her arm over and pressed another kiss to the skin next to her bandage and she blushed trying to pull away then.

"Did the nurse tell you how to take care of that while we're on the hike tomorrow?"

She nodded as he still caressed the area with his thumb.

"Yes...but I might need help."

"I'll help you." He said, reassuring her.

She gazed into his brown eyes having missed them the last few days and realized she could do this all night.  
She was so close to him now that she was almost in his lap and hadn't even noticed.

"I'm not supposed to be here..." He whispered though it sounded like it pained him to think about leaving.  
She bit her lip, looking at him sadly and he knew deep down that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"But you're supposed to be protecting me." She pointed out. "What better way than right here in person?"

He chuckled, leaning closer.

"You're absolutely right." He said, reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "Infact I think you and I should be as close as possible for your own safety."

She blushed, scooting closer and closer until he was able to wrap his arms around her waist and their faces were inches apart.

"Do you feel safer now? As your guard, it's my job to be sure you're safe. I just don't know so you'll have to tell me."

She beamed at him,before leaning in and brushing their noses together.

"Try just a little closer?" She whispered and he could practically taste her.  
He couldn't be that close and not kiss her.  
He pressed his lips gently against hers and felt a small gasp from her but definitely no protests.  
She pressed closer to him and kept kissing him until he pulled back to let them both breathe.

"That was what I needed...I feel safe now." She grinned, cuddling against him.

Simon sighed, giving up on the rules and gave in, holding her as close as he could.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away." She said softly against his chest.

"No, darlin'. I'm sorry you thought of me like that. Why didn't you talk to me?" He asked, moving to lay across the bench.

"I didn't think it would make a difference. If you had a history with Enid, I couldn't change that."

Simon shuddered.

"Just the thought makes me sick."

Beth giggled, looking up at him.

"So she's not your type?"

Simon shook his head.

"I like blondes."

"Multiple blondes?" She raised a brow.

"I like A blonde." He grinned as she leaned up for another kiss and another and another.

"You need to get some rest, sweetheart." He said gently as she seemed to want to keep kissing.  
He wanted that too but he didn't want to see her dragging her feet tomorrow because of him.

"I'm afraid if I close my eyes you'll be gone when I wake up."

Simon sighed, running a hand over her spine through the thin sweater she wore.  
He couldn't lie to her now.

"I might, darlin'. We have to accept that if we want to have moments like these that might be all they are; moments. We're lucky that we've gotten tonight like this. Rule number three, negan's crazy rules, he reminded me the other day...no having a relationship with a camper."

Beth sat up quickly, ready to toss him out.

"I won't have you getting in trouble because of me!"

He shushed her and pulled her gently back into his arms.

"I'm going to try to stay as long as I can tonight, we can figure this all out soon but it will probably have to wait until we get back from the hike. I don't know how much time we can really spend together until then either but please don't think I won't be thinking about you every second of the day."

She nodded against him and gave him another kiss or two before settling back under his touch.

"Good night, Simon."

He smiled and she felt his mustache against her forehead as he kissed her there.

"Good night, Darlin'."


	11. You're more important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back! I'm so sorry about the wait, I had to help out a friend! I'm back now so chapters will be coming pretty fast for the next few because they are written! Thanks for waiting! Hope you enjoy!!! :-)

"Simon!"

Negan waved the man over to join him by the picnic table where they would be checking over campers in just a while.

"Yeah?"

"I need you here to stay with the stuff and check anyone that might show up early. I gotta go talk to the guards before we head out."

Simon nodded and had a seat on the wood bench next to negan's bag.  
He grinned noticing the red and brown ratty twisted pieces of fabric and string that was tied on the top zipper.  
That day was almost three decades ago but he could remember it like it was yesterday.  
He recalled sitting in the mess hall, braiding those stupid things together like it was the most important task in the world.  
Life was so much simpler back then.

 

He couldn't believe the man still kept it around and shook his head, calling him a 'sentimental sap' under his breath.

Who was he kidding - he still had the green and brown one he'd made for him on his keychain.

Simon ran two fingers, smoothing out his mustache as it occurred to him just how long they'd been friends.

A damn-long time.

It was that exact thought that made simon worry about how he could possibly make things with beth work.  
His mind wandered to the kisses they'd shared last night and how great it felt to know she felt the same things he did for her.  
Negan's voice in his head interrupted that wonderful thought and all he could think about now was how was he going to spend time with her with out negan knowing.

He felt the guilt bubble up from all the lies he was going to end up telling to be able to be with her but it would be worth it.

At least he hoped so.

 

\-----

 

"So, no intrusions last night?" Negan asked as he talked to his head of security.

"None that we've seen, mr.Negan." 

"Good job, joey. Keep it up!" Negan Said, patting the larger man on the shoulder. "We'll be back tomorrow so just update me then."

"Will do, sir." The man in the chair replied as he left.

 

Negan was about to walk out the door of the office, when amber stopped him.

"Uh, Mr.negan?" The asked timidly, holding the phone to her shoulder.

"What is it?"

"There's a man on line 1 for a camper..."

"Tell him he can't reach us right now, we're busy." Negan demanded before deciding he ought to know in case this had anything to do with Beth. "Wait, Which camper?"

"Carl Grimes."

Negan's eyes flashed something that amber couldn't decipher. "Put him through."

He walked into the private room and slammed the door behind him and rolled his shoulders before picking up the phone.

"Camp sanctuary, who's calling?." Negan spoke in a specific tone.

"I'm callin' for uh...C-carl...that 'is name? Yeah." The man chuckled, slurring and negan knew whoever this was was drunk off their ass.

"Who am I speaking to?" Negan repeated though he had his suspicions.

"Shaaane Walshhh." 

Yeah, this guy was drunk.

Negan looked at his watch, judging the man, though it wasn't lost on him that that made him a complete hypocrite.

"How are you related to Carl Grimes?" 

He was going to test this man.

"I'm his g-godfather." The man said, hiccuping through the sentence.

"Really?"

He remembered him from the last family meeting but he didn't have to know that.

"Yeah..."

There was no way in hell this man was getting to talk to Carl.  
Carl was probably right outside, waiting with the other kids.   
He could easily go grab him and let him talk for a moment but he wasn't giving this man the satisfaction.

"Give me a second, I'll check for you." Negan had to put him on hold just to make himself relax and not take out his frustration on this man through the phone.  
That would get him no where.

He wanted this man in front of him, in person when he gave him a piece of his mind for what ever hell he'd put Carl through.  
Picking the phone back up, negan put on his polite yet snarky voice again.

"Well, I'm sorry but Carl's busy. He's on a hike. He won't be back until the weekend so you'll have to wait."

That may have been a lie but he didn't care.

"What?"

"Can I take a message for him?" Negan asked as the curiosity got the best of him.

"Uh, tell 'im he just better keep h-himself in check...if he knows what's good for 'im."

Negan hung up the phone before the man could get another stupid word in.  
He had half a mind to take the bat he was gripping hard in his hand and beat the phone into a million tiny shards.

But he didn't.

It wasn't the man's head so where would that get him?

 

\-----

 

Beth smiled to herself as she recalled falling asleep in Simon's arms last night.  
She couldn't believe that simon cared about her too and hoped that he was as serious as she was.  
She wished they didn't have to keep it a secret but she wasn't about to be the one to get him in trouble with negan.

She shivered as she thought about the familiar intruder in her room when she was recovering.  
She didn't like the thought of someone, anyone creeping around the camp but if she could have simon sitting outside her cabin every night then she would be happy about that.

Going through her bag again to recheck was proving to be tough when all she could think about was Simon.  
She loved the feeling of his touch through her nightgown and how soft his lips were and the feeling of his moustache on her as he kissed her.

 

Realizing what time it was, she grabbed her bag, heading out to join everyone upfront, hoping to maybe get even a second with simon.

Right now, she'd take anything.

 

\-----

 

A few kids had gathered around by the time negan returned and were hanging out on another bench.  
He guessed they were either naturally early birds or maybe they were trying to kiss up to him.  
The latter was more likely.  
He whistled a tune warning the somewhat rowdy group to quiet down as he glanced to see who was there and then headed over to simon.

"I crossed them off the list." Simon said handing over the clipboard just as a few more were walking up.

"Alright, I'll get these." The taller man gestured as simon mentioned running over to his cabin, having forgotten something.

Negan nodded and greeted the campers as they checked in.

The leader internally groaned when Enid came over to him, batting her eyelashes like usual.

"Good morning, mr.Negan," the brunette greeted as she stood way closer than necessary.

"Miss Nacon." He said as searched for her name on the list and crossed it off. "Alright you can go sit over there while we wait for the rest of the camp."

"Is that it?" She asked coyly. "You're not gonna frisk me for anything you don't want me to have?"

"Miss Nacon-"

"Enid." She grinned.

"Miss Nacon, I am your leader. It is my job to tell you what is protocol in my camp, NOT the other way around. And if I needed that then I would send you over to arat and she would handle that because if I did, it would be inappropriate."

Enid stepped into Negan's personal space, the tank top she wore giving him quite a view, not one he wanted to see.

"It wouldn't be inappropriate if I wanted you to..." Enid whispered, daring to raise her hand to touch his arm.

Negan took a step back and grabbed his bat, today, donned with what looked like barbed wire and raising it as a warning.

"Miss Nacon, you will step away from me and you will go over to that table and have a seat. Do you understand?"

The girl frowned, not too afraid of his actions, just enough to obey him.

"And I suggest you think about how you act around the counselors or myself!"

Enid rolled her eyes where he couldn't see and slunk off to where Ron had just sat down.

Negan shook his head at the nerve of that girl and crossed her boyfriend's name off the list along with the other campers who'd come up.

 

\-----

 

Beth couldn't help a huge grin as she ran into simon on the path coming up towards the front of the camp.

He chuckled at the coincidence and felt a warmth from seeing her again after he'd been with her most of the night.

"Hi." He said stepping as close as he could to her.

"Fancy meeting you here." She beamed, toying with the strings on her bag for something to do.

"Long time, no see." He replied making her giggle which was probably the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"I...forgot something. In my cabin. I was going to...go get it." He said, staring into her eyes.

"Do you...need any help searching?" She asked, looking hopeful.

"No. Yes! I do, I might."

She giggled again and waited a second as he turned down the opposite path and then followed.

 

\-----

 

It was starting to occur to negan that most all of the boys had arrived but Carl still wasn't there.  
It was odd.  
He figured he'd be one of the first ones there.  
He had kept him up late talking last night but didn't think that was it.

It wasn't until he noticed Anderson and his friends laughing about something as they sat there that he figured something was probably wrong.

He never should've let Carl stay there another night with that horrible kid.

If something happened to him because of him he'd never forgive himself.

He pulled out his radio and called for Gavin who wasn't far.  
He could get there the fastest and handle this many campers.

"Gavin!"

'Heard, negan!' the man replied.

"Can you get down here to watch them, I gotta go check on something."

'Be there in a flash.'

 

\-----

 

"What was it you were lookin' for?" Beth asked between kisses as simon had her pressed against the door of his cabin.

"I don't even remember..." He chuckled as he left her lips to press them under her jaw and down her neck.  
She shivered as she felt his warm breath on her collar bone and gasped as he nipped there.  
For a moment it felt so good and then she felt nerves bubble up inside as she felt him grasp her waist.

Beth let out a whimper before struggling against him.  
Flashes of another man were filling her mind and for that one moment she thought it might just be him instead.  
She pushed at him and he hadn't registered that she was uncomfortable.

"Stop!" She cried and he backed off instantly.

Instinctually, he gave her a hurt look but then realized how scared she was.

Her breathing was heavy and she had panic in her eyes.

"Beth, I'm sorry." He said, wanting to wrap his arms around her and comfort her but offered just his hand so it was less invasive.

"It's fine. I'm fine." She said looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

"No." Simon wasn't going to let her do this. "Darlin', it's not. I don't want to do anything you're not ready for."

"It's not you...I just-" beth sighed. "I can't get him out of my head!" 

"Who?" Simon asked a hand on her arm gently.

Bet still avoided his eyes, the heel of her foot tapping on the ground.

"...The guy."

"What guy?" He bit out, ready to hurt who ever hurt this angel.

"You know why I'm here don't you?"

"Your file says your family sent you here because you were caught with a married man and were concerned that this was a pattern. I understood from your sister that your family is very...traditional."

Beth nodded.  
She really wanted to tell him the truth.  
She knew she could trust simon and he deserved to know why she wasn't ready for all the passion he wanted to show her.

"My father thought I was being a slut but...the man I was caught with, he...he-"

"Tell me, darlin'." Simon asked softly, looking into her eyes.

"He...touched me. H-he molested me...a-and he was close to...to raping me. I think he was the guy that was here the other night...the one who was in my room in the infirmary!"

If he hadn't been as close to her as he was he wouldn't have been able to understand what she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Simon took both her hands in his and she finally returned his gaze.

"Listen to me, I will never hurt you. If you're uncomfortable with anything we do together...just tell me. OK?"

Beth nodded.

"I am never going to let anyone hurt you like that again. I don't care if I have to sit right out in front of your cabin every damn night." Simon whispered.

She nodded again and he noticed her shaking now.  
He slowly pulled her close and she felt safe in his arms again like last night.

"Do you trust me?"

Beth smiled.

"I do. I have... Since we met."

Simon leaned in for one more soft kiss.  
He wished he could just stay there all day and hold her.  
Comfort her and keep her away from this nightmare.  
He hated that they had to separate.

"We gotta go, darlin'. Negan's gonna wonder where I am. You head on up to the front and I'll be there soon."

She surprised him by stealing another kiss and headed out the door, making sure no saw her leaving her counselor's cabin.

 

\-----

 

As soon Gavin arrived to herd the kids for the moment as they were getting anxious to leave, negan took off for the boy's camp.

Carl was the only boy left not there and negan couldn't say he wasn't concerned.  
It was getting close to 7:00am and he didn't like starting out late.

The leader practically ran up the path, around the large bushes and up to the door to cabin 7.

"Carl?" Negan called as he knocked on the door trying to calm his racing heart. "It's me, is everything okay?"

"Come in..." He heard so he entered and stared at the chaotic mess surrounding Carl.  
The poor boy looked absolutely defeated and began apologizing immediately.

"Woah, woah," negan held up his hands. "Don't you dare apologize to me for something you didn't do. Cause I highly doubt you decided to string up your back pack and use it as a damn piñata!"

"No...but I think Ron did." Carl just about whispered.

Negan simmered inside, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I've been trying to get all this refolded and stuff but I can't even use this bag anymore. The straps are broken." Carl threw up his hands.

"It's alright, I've got an extra one you can have." Negan said. "I'll go grab it for you."

Negan slammed the door on his way back out and Carl sighed as he began making a stack of the clothes that were still clean.  
He grabbed another clean shirt and put the one that looked like it'd been drug through the mud in the dirty clothes bag.

He couldn't believe that this was what he'd woken up to and that he was the one holding up the hike.  
He was done with Ron's immaturity.  
With a huff, he pulled his pajama pants off and slipped on his jeans and tugged his shirt off and went to get one out of the dresser just as negan came back in.

Negan gave him an apologetic smile when he reentered and realised Carl wasn't dressed and set the good bag on the bed.  
Carl turned around but negan's eyes trailed over the skin of his back and as he admired how fit the young man seemed, his brain automatically envisioned running his fingers up and down that perfect spine.  
He also imagined that Carl would make the most amazing sounds while he did but he was immediately yanked from those thoughts when he noticed a long, fresh, scabbing over wound down his right shoulder blade accompanied by a large bruise underneath, around his ribcage.  
He was concerned that Carl was in pain and had to use every bit of self control he had to not ask him about it.

"Uh, sorry." Negan offered, averting his eyes now.

Carl blushed as he quickly got a green T-shirt on, trying not make to many noises from the pain in his side. "It's cool." He said, slipping a button up plaid shirt over it before grabbing the bag off the bed. "Thanks...you didn't have to do that." 

Negan picked up a book with a ripped cover and handed it to Carl, letting their fingers brush.

"Yeah, I did...it's my camp and your stuff was vandalized here...and honestly...Carl, the moment I decided I was going to be in your corner, there was no going back."

Carl couldn't help a grin as he began putting his clothes and the other things in the new bag.

Negan picked up the lamp that had been knocked over and a small bag of chips that was stomped on and tossed that.

"I think I can handle this if you need to get back to the front?" Carl offered.

"You tryin' to get rid of me? Don't want me around?" Negan teased.

"No." Carl chuckled. "I just didn't want to keep you if you had other things to do."

"You're more important."

Carl stared at him for a second before going back to the task at hand.  
He didn't know what to say to that.  
No one had ever said that before.

"Uh, does this little...thing belong to you?"

Negan bent to pick up what looked like a little kids plastic toy cat and waved it at Carl.

"Before you make fun of me, it's my sister's. She gave it to me before I came here. for...good luck I guess." Carl said defensively.

"I wasn't going to make fun of you." Negan frowned, handing it over. "I guess, judging by the messes I keep finding thing's in here, that luck hasn't kicked in yet."

"I think it has..." Carl said shoving the toy deep into a pocket inside. "I met you."

Negan chuckled, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. "Well, if that's not flattering, I don't know what is."

Carl laughed, a red tint to his cheeks and shaking his head as he zipped up his bag.

"You ready?" Negan asked, needing desperately to change the subject.

"Yeah." Carl said as he followed negan out the door. "Thanks again."

"As I've said before, anytime."

 

\-----

 

When simon showed up finally, beth couldn't help but grin.  
She watched him as he shoved a piece of paper in his bag and took back over from Gavin with the clipboard and signed in some of the last campers.  
She was content to sit there and watch him until they left.

"Hi, Bethany!" Enid's grating voice called as she came around into her view. "Hasn't been the same without you in the cabin! How was your little stint in the infirmary?"

Beth sighed.

"I'm fine. Thanks." Beth replied, turning away to pretend to go through her bag just to ignored Enid.

"You know..." Enid said, still standing there. "isn't it a little hot out here for that shirt? Or are you just trying to cover up those ugly scars!"

Beth frowned, tugging her sleeves down farther.

"Hey, go bother someone else, Enid!" 

Beth grinned as Carl stood in front of her, between her and the girl.

"Your girlfriend is so lame." Enid rolled her eyes. "How do you stand it?"

Carl rolled his eyes back at her.

"Beth isn't my girlfriend but she's a beautiful person and any guy would be lucky to have her."

Beth beamed at him as Enid stomped away.

"Thanks...you didn't have to say that."

"Say what? Say what I mean? Because I do, beth." Carl really looked at her for the first time today.  
"You look happy. It's nice to see."

Beth just smiled, glancing over at simon.

She really was for a change.


	12. I'll never get tired of this

"Attention!"

Everyone looked to the leader who was swinging his bat around as if it weren't a very dangerous weapon that could take out any one of them at any time.

"Campers, It is time to move out! I will NOT be reminding anyone of the usual rules because I should NOT have to! We are all old enough to know how to act! If I catch any of you misbehaving, I WILL shut that shit down no exceptions!"

Simon smirked at his friend's famous motto.  
If he had a dollar for every time he'd heard that.

"I will however give you the rundown on what is happening so no one should feel the need to complain later. We are heading out through the woods! We might go over a river but we will NOT be going to your grandmother's house!" Some of the campers chuckled at the rare sighting of their leader's sence of humor.  
"We will walk in pairs, we will NOT derive from the path! We will NOT be coming back for anything! I will be happy to answer any questions as long as they are legitimate questions! Do you all understand?"

There was a collective; "yes, mr.negan!"

"Oh! One more thing!" Negan called out. "Mr. Anderson, for disturbing another camper's belongings, therefore causing us to be late you will be hauling this bag of equipment to our destination!"

"Hell no!" The boy yelled back.

"I am more than happy to let you stay here Mr.Anderson and serve your punishment in the kitchen!"

The boy grumbled as negan dropped the bag at his feet but said no more.

He was satisfied so it was time for the hike to officially begin.

With one wave of the bat, he had all the campers following him two by two.

 

\-----

 

Carl kept a close eye on beth as they trekked on the path negan was leading on.  
They had naturally chosen each other as partners for the journey but beth wasn't very talkative.  
She seemed content with staring straight ahead of her and had a tiny smile on her face.

He liked seeing her so happy but he wondered if there was a particular reason or if she just was in a better mood.

He was feeling better too, now that they were on the hike.  
He already admired the campground's bright greenery and flowers and the soothing lake but it was going to be amazing to see another side of the property.

He walked side by side with Beth, just enjoying the air around them until she tugged on his sleeve.  
He questioned her with his eyebrows and she nodded towards the front where their leader and Simon were talking.

'Negan?' Carl mouthed at her.

Beth shook her head.

'Si-mon' she mouthed back and he looked utterly confused for a moment.

"Just so you know I'm a horrible lip reader." Carl replied out loud.

Beth giggled and covered her face with her hands. 

Carl ended up laughing with her and they couldn't stop now long enough for her to try and convey again to him, her message.

"Never mind!" She said.

From a few steps ahead this caught Simon's attention and he glanced back at her for a moment just as her eyes latched onto his.

She gave him a knowing grin and he winked at her before negan turned back to him to ask him something.

She gave up on Carl for now. 

She would just have to tell him her big secret later.

 

\-----

 

"Could she seriously get any worse?" Enid spat as she walked on Ron's right side and Mikey's left.

"Don't know." Ron scoffed. 

"She had negan in her room at the infirmary like four times! What makes her so special?"

"Why do you care?" Ron asked, his brow creased.

"Because she is a stupid, bland blonde so why does she get special treatment!"

"Probably just like our dumbass leader favoring that homo! He never gets in trouble for anything and I get all the crap for what he's done!"

Ron shifted the bags he was hauling to his right shoulder.

"I can't believe Grimes didn't have to stay behind after I dumped all his shit out! I thought I knew the big idiot better than that!"

Enid rolled her eyes.

"It was a good plan."

"Yeah, clearly we need another one!"

"Maybe we can push both Carl and Beth in the lake and not have to deal with them any more." Mikey laughed

"That's perfect!" Enid grinned.

"Hey, I'm good for something!"

 

\-----

 

"Basically, like always, we'll have them set the tents when we get there and then after lunch they can go jump in the lake."

Simon chuckled as he slipped his map in his back pocket.

"That's mean, Neeg." 

Negan chuckled. 

"It's true! Its the usual itinerary!"

"I wish I could go jump in one right now! Jesus, it's hot out." Simon complained, pulling repeatedly on his shirt.

Negan agreed by taking out his red handkerchief and wiping over his forehead and neck.

"Yeah, picked a bad day for this..." He said. "Now remember, you and arat are gonna switch when we get over the first hill."

"Its comin' up isn't it?"

"17 years and you still don't have this memorised?"

Simon chuckled through his embarrassment.

"I'm afraid not."

"Who are you?"

Their eyes met instantly.

Simon sighed through his amusement, "I'm negan."

 

The taller man turned back to the group.

"I hope you got your hiking boots on!" He shouted. "because we're about to be hiking up hill!"

He wasn't joking.

Everyone obviously thought that they were going straight down the normal, man made path but of course he was going to make them all work on this trek.

Negan, without giving it a second thought grabbed onto the large side of what looked like a small mountain and climbed up onto a flatter surface and continued, expecting everyone to follow.

 

"Um..." Beth stared up at the rocks as some of the more adventurous kids climbed up first.

"It's OK." Carl said "I'll help you."

 

They both went forward, Carl trying to mimic what negan had done and then turned and reached back for beth.

Their leader grinned at this and thought it would be a good lesson for the rest.

"Everyone, this is a wonderful example of helping someone out."

Carl blushed at being the center of attention but was glad he could help negan.

"Let's hope you like your walking buddy 'cause you will probably have to help them too!"

Simon stood to the side ready to help anyone and then take his place at the back.

"Once you get up, go and stand by miss Arat and wait there for further instructions!" Negan called as he watched to make sure all the campers were still there and that they didn't have any runaways.

 

"You OK?" Carl asked as beth tried to catch her breath.

"I thought I was in bad shape..." He teased and she whacked him in the chest. 

"I'm not...I just wasn't expecting that today."

"I think we should be ready for anything." Carl said glancing over at their leader.

The man barely looked phased by this work out but his strong chest was quite visible through his white T-shirt that was becoming more and more see-through with wetness.  
He was sweating pretty good from the heat and Carl couldn't help but lick his lips at the sight of the tall man like that.  
He felt the familiar tightness below his waistband and had to take his eyes off of him soon or he would have a problem that he couldn't deal with out in the forest with a hundred of his closest fellow campers around.

Carl shook himself out of that real quick and broke open his water bottle, hoping the ice cold would help.

He really needed to remember to not look in his direction again.

 

 

They were all on their way again after a few minutes of resting and rehydrating.  
Negan instructed them all to keep following him and informed them that it would be at least another 20 minutes before they arrived and as everyone groaned he just laughed maliciously and waved them forward.

"Cmon! This isn't supposed to be fun! At least not for you!"

 

Carl had been desperately trying to keep his eyes off the man at the front and so he attempted to find other things to focus on.  
His eyes followed the swing of a keychain of one of the older kids in front of him and rolled his eyes.  
It had the bold, tacky yellow and purple logo from the local 24 hour gym that Shane lived at when he wasn't at their house.

 

_"Where the fuck are you going?!"_

_Carl didn't say a word.  
He walked down the road, fast as his legs could take him, Shane shouting in the distance.  
Away from him.  
Away from the car.  
Away from all of this._

_"Get your ass back here!"_

_There was no way in hell he was giving him the satisfaction.  
He wasn't about to let him walk all over him.  
Not anymore._

_A large stone landed beside him on the pavement and he turned back to see his god father actually throwing rocks at him._

_"Are you serious?! You could've hit me!"_

_Shane just laughed._

_Carl kept walking, just wanting to get away from him.  
He was so deep in thought about what to do about all of this, He didn't see Shane running and jumping him from behind._

_"Get off me!" Carl screamed and Shane jammed his elbow down into his ribs making Carl curl in on himself in pain, tears silently flowing without even trying._

_"Yeah, you go ahead and cry! Little fucking baby!"_

_Carl could barely breath under the weight of the larger man and gasped out even though Shane would just ignore him._

_"Does that fucking hurt!?" Shane laughed in his face making Carl turn his body to get away from the alcohol mixed with bad breath. Shane took that opportunity to flip him onto his stomach and trap his hands as if he were arresting him.  
Shane grabbed a piece of broken glass and jabbed it into his right shoulder blade, dragging it down into his skin through his shirt. "Does it?!"_

_Carl cried out at the wound in his shoulder and he wasn't sure if he had punctured a lung with all that weight on him or if it was just his imagination but he really needed Shane off of his already cracking ribs._

_"Get...off!" Carl wailed turning back on his back and grasping at the stupid T-shirt from that gym that he wore all the time. With a loud rip, Shane's shirt was almost in two and the older man glared down at him._

_"You think that's gonna make me stop?! You think I'm gonna let you go! Go t-tell your mommy and fuckin' d-daddy! Fuck no, you little brat! You are here! you're helping me clean this shit up!"_

_"No I'm not!"_

_"Oh, yes-yes you are!" Carl stopped fighting him for a second so he would loosen his grip and wriggled out from under him taking off at a run even with the pain in his side and back._

_He never saw Shane struggle to his feet behind him and grab a beer bottle he'd tossed out of the car and chuck it at the back of his head._

_He never could remember anything after that._

 

Carl was harshly brought back to reality as beth grasped onto his shirt almost taking him down.

She laughed awkwardly as he sent her a questioning look.

"Sorry... I think I tripped on a rock." She explained.

Carl smiled, understanding.

 

Enid snickered behind them as she waited another second and stuck her foot in Beth's path again.

She stumbled again and Carl held out an arm to steady her.

"Be careful." Carl offered and she nodded examining the ground and her shoes as Carl continued on.

Beth sighed finding no explanation for her falling and took a step forward just as Enid's foot came out once more.

Beth landed on the ground with an 'umph'.

Simon who was right there at the end of the group was at her side instantly.

"You ok? Did you hurt your arm or..." Simon, despite there being people around, touched her arm gently.

Beth shook her head and smiled at him, happy to see his dark brown eyes looking back at her.

"I'm OK...Enid tripped me." She frowned, dusting herself off after he helped her up.

Simon sighed, wanting nothing more than to pull her into his arms.

Carl jogged over, realising what had happened.

"Are you OK?" He asked completely unaware that she just wanted to talk to simon since she had barely been able to today.

Beth nodded.

"Why don't you two walk back here with me, that way none of the campers can pull any funny business?"

Beth blushed as he winked at her when Carl wasn't looking.

"That's probably best." Carl said, liking the thought of staying out of Ron's way too.

And it wasn't his fault that he didn't notice when beth and Simon's fingers brushed against each other 'accidentally', every few steps.

 

\-----

 

"Everyone seems to be behaving ok." Arat pointed out to the leader as they were almost to the second large rocky hill.

"Yeah, except for the bit of gossip I heard a minute ago." Negan rolled his eyes. "Campers causing trouble for Beth Greene in the back."

Arat sighed.

"Kids are so mean."

"Half these campers are closer to adults than kids! They should know better!"

Arat nodded.

Negan turned and began to walk backwards to address the crowd.

"Campers! We are coming up on another climb! I hope you've recovered from the last one cause this one's worse!"

Arat chuckled when he faced her again.

"Do you choose to ignore their groans or..."

"Yep, in fact, I enjoy hearing them."

"You're a sick bastard." She smirked.

"Not the first time I've been told that, sweetheart." He grinned cheekily, pointing Lucille at her.

 

\-----

 

After each camper got up and over the rocky hill, negan made them pay attention.  
Close attention as he stood in front of two large bushes that seemed to lead deeper into the trees.

"Now, I could tell you that we still had miles to go and that we were another hour's walk from our campsite..." Negan said.

Almost every camper stared at him as if they wanted to exact revenge on him in this moment.  
Some of them verbally voiced their complaints but most were too tired.

"But we're not, follow me..."

They all ducked past the large blockade of the foliage behind their leader as he beat it away with his bat, into a large space in the middle of a circle of trees.  
A perfect place for a fire in the middle and a beautiful lake out in front of them about 20 yards away.

Collectively the campers cheered all dropping their bags and collapsing on the ground.

"Whoa, whoa! Hey, get up! I did NOT say you could sit down! Did I say that?"

The campers scrambled back up on their feet and listened begrudgingly at Negan's orders.

"Now I don't think any of you will want to sleep out in the wild outdoors where any snakes,bugs, bears or hell even zombies might come upon you! Do I care if you get eaten by those things? Maybe I do, maybe I don't! But your families would sue the shit out of me if I didn't do something to even help prevent that so we're gonna pitch some tents! If any of you know confidently how to put up a tent, please step forward."

Negan was not surprised to see Carl come stand in front of him, along with two girls and three other boys.

"Very good. Now to the rest of you, the counselors and these campers will be available to help you put up your cloth cabins and just so you know, your roommate is your tent mate! No switching! No exceptions!" 

 

The campers grumbled as he had them line up to get tents after he collected the bags from Ron.  
They each got one and were directed where to put it.

"Miss greene!" Beth looked almost terrified that she'd been singled out by the barbed wire-wrapped-bat wielding leader.  
She reminded herself that he was friendly and caring like when he visited her in the infirmary and went over to him.

"Yes, Mr.negan?" 

Simon eyed them carefully, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Please go sit where Carl Grimes is and tell him to come see me. I'll give you instructions in a minute."

She nodded and headed over to Carl.

"Mr.negan wants to see you."

"O...k." Carl replied.

Beth shrugged as he walked towards the man.

So much for not looking at him...

 

"Beth said you needed something?"

Negan picked up two bags and handed them to Carl

"Carl, I'm asking you to do this because I trust you not to fuck up." Negan grinned, waving him to follow him over to the curved part of the land.

Carl smirked, feeling pretty good knowing negan trusted him like that.

"I need you to put your tent up here so it will mark where the rest of the boys tents will go and If you'll help your friend beth out with hers since she's healing still and I'm assuming doesn't know how to pitch one."

Carl smiled, glancing down at the parts in his hand and his hair fell in his eyes just so.  
Negan decided he was being punished because between that and that smile, he wasn't going to be able to focus very well after that.  
Carl looked up then, daring to catch his eyes but negan wouldn't meet them.

Carl frowned, taking the tents and doing as he was told.

 

"The faster you work, the sooner you all can go for a swim!" Negan shouted at the group and sure enough, it worked.

 

\-----

 

"I'll never get tired of this." Negan grinned at simon as they set to getting their own tents up.

Simon chuckled in agreement and couldn't help glancing over at the blonde watching her friend beating metal poles in the ground.

"Yeah," simon smiled. "Me either."


	13. Goodnight Negan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my! Longest chapter yet! Hope you all enjoy!

"Nice work." Negan said coming over to Carl's finished tent.

Carl had put up Beth's before his own so she could get settled.

"Thanks." Carl grinned proudly.

"How'd you learn how to do this?" Negan asked gesturing at the good structure.

"My dad." Carl smiled at the memories. "We used to go camping together when I was younger...before he got too busy."

Negan looked at him as he hung his head, clearly missing this time in his life.

"He obviously taught you well." Negan smiled. 

Carl tried to meet his eyes but the older man turned away before he really could.

"Oh, Carl before I forget, this is your tent. You don't have to share with anybody."

Carl let out a sigh of relief.

"Sounds good...thanks." 

Carl was hoping for a little more than just 'good job'.  
They usually had great conversations but it almost felt like negan was avoiding him.  
He was about to continue their chat when negan just walked away and he couldn't help but wonder why he was acting like that.  
The man would barely look at him.  
He knew they couldn't seem too close around the other campers because negan wasn't supposed to give anyone special treatment but this was odd.  
Something just seemed off with him and he needed to know that if it was something he'd done.

He hated the thought of not being able to talk to him anymore.  
He was so understanding and easy to open up to.  
He was normal this morning but now he just shut him out. 

Carl had only been ignored by negan once and that was just because of Ron.  
He didn't like feeling that way from him and he hoped that he wasn't going to be in that position next time they had a moment alone.

 

\-----

 

Simon chuckled as Arat came over spraying herself to oblivion with a can of bug spray.  
She joined him on the large log as they began their job of staring at the lake.  
A few kids had gotten their bathing suits on and were already in so 'life guards' were needed just in case.  
Arat was clearly disgusted at the juvenile games that were being played in the water as the small group splashed each other wildly.

"Can't they just like float around or something calmer." She remarked.

"Nooo!" Simon chuckled not even paying attention. "They live to make our lives harder. I swear, every year they get worse and worse!"

His eyes scanned the area and landed on a blonde camper across the way and his jaw almost fell on the ground.

Arat wasn't ever going to notice anyway, concerned with the craziness the kids were causing in the lake.

"Hey! Calm the heck down!" She screamed heading over to the water's edge to reprimand them more affectively.

Simon couldn't help but stare as he watched beth talking with Carl.  
She had on a white, ruffly, two piece bathing suit and he didn't think he'd ever seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.  
Simon felt a small pang of jealousy as he watched her with her friend and tried to push it down.  
He knew beth and Carl were just friends but he wondered if Carl knew that.  
He was seriously close to going over to her just as his gorgeous view was cut off by a brunette girl standing right in front of him.

Enid.

This was the first time he'd seen her face to face since he learned about her lie to beth.

Simon glared at her which was about as far as he could go since she was a camper.  
He couldn't go off on a tangent without having to fill out a form if she decided to report him.  
With this girl, he wasn't about to take chances.

"Mr.simon?"

Enid was wearing a tiny maroon bikini and holding a bottle of sunscreen in her hand.

"Would you mind helping me with this? I can't reach everywhere and..." She stepped in between his legs, getting dangerously close. "I would really appreciate it."

She even had the nerve to pout.

"I'm sorry, miss Nacon. I can't help you." He shrugged, leaning away.

"Please, Mr.simon?" She rested a hand on his knee where the fabric of his shorts ended and gave it a squeeze. "I'd owe you one..."

"Miss Nacon," he replied, removing her hand before standing up to show her his authority. "I am your counselor. I cannot help you with anything personal like that. You will have to ask one of your friends to help you."

Enid huffed, giving up and walking away.

 

\-----

 

"What was it you were trying to tell me earlier?"

Beth was staring across the way at another girl talking to Simon and hadn't even heard Carl's question.

She was getting really close to Simon.

Beth felt a tightness in her chest as she had half a mind to stand up and run over and let the girl know who he belonged with.  
As she stared at the two, she quickly realised the girl was Enid and was in a way, relieved.  
She knew simon would never go for her no matter how much she flirted with him, remembering how he said he disliked the girl so she turned back to Carl.

"Sorry!" She said. "I have somethin' to tell you...but you gotta promise you won't tell anyone, especially not negan."

Carl was worried.  
He had no problem keeping Beth's secret, no matter what it was.  
It was keeping it from Negan he had a problem with.

"OK...go ahead."

Beth giggled before glancing over at simon who was alone now.

"Simon and I."

"Simon and you what?"

Beth rolled her eyes at how clueless boys could be.

"Simon and I...kissed."

Carl's eyes widened as he looked over at the older man he knew beth had a thing for.

"What? When? I thought you were mad at him?"

"I was but it was a big misunderstanding!" She bit her lip trying and failing to not get too excited. "When he watched outside my cabin last night, he just looked so lonely out there so I...invited him in to apologize for not thankin' him for what he'd done for me when I was in the infirmary and after that we just ended up gettin' closer and admittin' our feelin's for each other."

Carl took a moment to process all of this but eventually decided he was happy for her.

"I'm glad. I'm really happy if you're happy." Carl said, smiling. "But if he hurts you I can't promise I won't hurt him back."

"He won't." She beamed. "He's so sweet and...perfect and...sexy."

Carl shook his head at his love struck friend.

"Wait, why can't negan know?" He asked, confused. "I thought they were best friends? How's he supposed to keep it from him?"

"Because, it's in Negan's strict camp rules that a counselor can't have a relationship with a camper. Rule number three I think he said it was. I wonder what the other rules are..."

"You're nineteen. Its not even illegal for you and simon to be together." Carl pointed out in a clearly aggravated tone.

"I know that but... I guess Mr.negan doesn't want any distractions."

 

\-----

 

Negan sighed as he knelt beside his tent and pulled his shirt up and over his head.  
It felt good to take the sweaty thing off and strip down to just swim shorts.  
The heat was crazy, even for august, so an excuse for wearing as little as possible was good today.  
He sat down on the ground with a huff, finally getting a moment to himself since he got simon and arat to handle watch duty.  
He could get his stuff set up inside the tent and prepare the fire pit to cook the group dinner in a few hours.

He didn't get right to it.

He just sat.

Enjoying staring up into the trees that masked the sun and allowed it to dance along the ground around him.  
He took note how it was all the same.  
How it was something he could count on not changing.  
The scenery would never lose it's affect on him and it didn't matter how many horrible memories he had here, it was still soothing to him.  
It was still home away from home away from home.

He would never admit it but he always wished he had someone to share this with.  
For years he hoped he would meet someone who cherished a setting like this, like he did.  
Sure simon enjoyed it but he wasn't in love with it.  
And he wasn't in love with simon.

He didn't get it.

It wasn't a part of his soul.

He decided someone who loved all this could love him too.

 

\-----

 

"I'm really not supposed to be swimmin' with my arm patched up like this but I'm gonna go sit on the dock." Beth told Carl when they headed down to the edge of the lake where it turned into rocky muddiness as it met the water.

"Well, I'll just sit with you then." Carl said, following her out onto the wood panels.

"Get in, Carl!" She cried not wanting him to miss out because of her.

He laughed as she tried to push him in playfully.

"I'll get in in a few minutes." He said. "Right now, let's just sit and talk."

"OK, what do you wanna talk about?" Beth shrugged.

"Any thing."

She would talk all day about Simon if there weren't kids on the other side of the dock at the moment.

"So...there's another family meetin' this weekend. Apparently this one is more like checkin' up on us with Mr.negan."

Carl rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, cause I'm looking SO forward to that."

"OK, then...let's talk about dinner, I'm starving."

"I can get you a snack." Carl offered. "I brought some."

"Yeah, me too. Its alright, Carl. I'll go get somethin' in a minute." She said. "Or we can talk about how you need to get in the lake!"

Beth giggled as she tried to force Carl off the dock and into the water and he gave up and let her, falling in with a splash.

Carl laughed with her after he spit some out and slowly swam back around to her and she screamed as he grabbed her foot pretending to pull her in too.

"Carl, no!" She cried, laughing harder knowing he actually wouldn't.

"I'm just messing with you!" He grinned.

"Sure." She said skeptically, screeching again as Carl surprised her with a splash at her head.

Carl stopped laughing as he noticed someone approaching them and smirked when he saw who it was.

"Hey, Mr.simon." he said floating by his friend and beth turned and beamed at the man.

"I just wanted to make sure everything was OK over here." The man's mustache turned up in a friendly grin as he squated down next to beth.

"We're just having some fun." Beth replied, leaning adorably on the wood panels and if Carl didn't know there was something between them, he would now.

Her eyes sparkled as she looked at the man.

Simon nodded and gave beth a smile as his eyes followed down then back up.

"Alright, just checking." He said obviously not wanting to leave yet.

Carl, began swimming farther and farther away to give them a little space without seeming like he was doing it on purpose.

"You see that big tree over there?" Simon asked her quickly.

Beth nodded.

"I'm gonna go over there in a second. I'll be all alone..."

Beth bit her lip and nodded again just as Carl came back to them.

"Alright, have fun you two." The man winked heading off.

Beth was in a total dreamy state when Carl looked at her.

"So..."

"So?" 

"Go." Carl shook his head and she hopped up and went over towards that tree without anyone seeing her.

Hopefully.

 

\-----

 

Beth giggled as she stepped carefully over the rocks and around the bushes and over to where simon was grinning at her like a mad man.

He met her halfway and pulled her into his arms.

"Hi." She said cutely as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Hi." 

"I hope no one saw me..." She worried.

"I don't care..." He said, placing his hands on her bare sides and held back a groan as he took in this gorgeous girl in front of him.

She was shocked at his words but giggled.

"All I care about is you. Being near you. Being able to kiss you," He said kissing her again.

She figured this was pretty much what the next few minutes would consist of and she was good with that.

"Beth...this." He said, choking on his words as he couldn't decide between staring at her and kissing her as his hands ran over the soft skin of her sides.

She blushed, liking the attention from him.

"How long do you think we can stay hidden without someone noticing we're gone?"

"Not long." Simon frowned, turning her around so he could hold her around the middle. "I gotta help negan prep for dinner."

"Oh...ok." 

"But we can stay here a little bit longer." He grinned pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

"That's good." She said, gasping. "The longer the better."

 

\-----

 

Carl took note that beth still wasn't back yet from her little rendezvou with simon so he decided to go over and talk to negan.  
He figured the least he could do was distract the man so he didn't go looking for simon and interrupting them.

The older man stood when Carl approached and he had to make sure he didn't stare at his strong chest with the patch of hair and dark tattoos and...

So of course, Carl stared.

"Carl, did you need something?" Negan asked wiping his hands on a rag as he noticed the younger man standing there.

Carl completely missed Negan's eyes trail over him as he scrambled to make sense of his words.

"I wanted to know if...you needed help with anything else?" He offered.

Negan was clearly taken aback.

"Thanks, but I don't think so right now. You just go have a good time."

"Oh...OK." Carl replied, hoping he would get some more time with the man. "I'm happy to help if you need me."

Negan nodded.

"I know." He said, not looking at him.

 

Carl walked slowly back over towards the lake to wait for beth and he saw her already walking down to the dock.  
It didn't take long before he noticed Ron follow her and he tried to run after him but he just wasn't fast enough and Ron and Enid pushed beth into the water before he could get to her.  
The two cackled as Enid jumped in to hold her under.

"Hey!" Carl screamed.

The blonde kicked and flailed as Carl jumped in to help her, fighting off Enid.  
Carl pulled beth above the surface and helped her up onto the dock as most of the other campers stared at them.  
Simon was by her side in a second with negan close behind.

"Are you OK?" Simon asked beth rubbing her back as she coughed, sitting up and nodded at him.

"I lost my bandage thing though." She worried and he comforted her even though he was relieved that that was the only thing wrong.

 

Their conversation was lost in the commotion as negan called on Enid and Ron.

"If you think I didn't see who was responsible for pushing miss greene in the lake, you are SADLY MISTAKEN!" negan shouted. "Miss Nacon and Mr.Anderson, get out of the water!"

The two kids still smirked but obeyed him and walked over to their leader.  
Enid crossed her arms, jutting her hips out as she waited to see what he wanted.

"You have both lost any privileges to go in the water again as long as you are here at the camp."

Ron huffed and walked away, going over to sulk in his tent.

"Does that mean we can't shower?" Enid asked, stepping closer to whisper. "Because you can chaperon me...if you want?"

"Miss Nacon, I have warned you about exchanging inappropriate words with me. Go get in your tent and stay in your tent, you are not allowed to speak to any of the campers until morning and if you need something, Arat will assist you. If you approach me at all I will find another punishment for you."

"Sounds sexy." She grinned walking away before he could say or do anything else.

Negan rubbed a finger his temples as the girl seemed to bring on the worst tension headaches in him.

Negan walked with purpose back down the dock causing the gawking campers to part as he approached.  
He knelt down beside beth and simon forced himself away.

"Miss beth, are you alright? Are you injured? Do you need anything?"   
She shook her head to all of those things as negan placed a towel around her shoulders.

"I know you weren't supposed to get that wet." He said.

"The doctor taught Mr.simon how to change the bandage. Maybe he can do it after dinner?"

Negan gave a skeptical look up at his best friend but agreed with that plan.

"Alright, as long as you don't need anything else."

"Thanks mr.negan." she smiled as he left again and Carl helped her up.

"Let me know if you need anything." Was all simon could say before he had to leave too.

"I will." She beamed.

As Carl walked her over to her tent to put on some dry clothes, they heard negan announce to the rest of the group that dinner would be in about 45 minutes.

"Ron and Enid shouldn't even be allowed to eat dinner." Carl said.

"Don't be mean, Carl."

"What? They don't deserve it beth! Look what they did to you!"

"They got their punishment." Beth said. "Let's just dry off and focus on something else."

 

\-----

 

"How was simon?" Carl asked beth quietly as they sat together eatting dinner.

Beth grinned as she pulled the towel that was around her shoulders closer and glanced over at the man catching his eye.

"Wonderful." She beamed as he grinned back.

Carl smiled happy for her as he ate from his foil packet of vegetables.

"This is good." He said.

"Yeah, pretty good."

"Well, if you've had my mom's cooking then you'd know." He explained.

Beth giggled. 

"Yeah, Maggie's a great nurse, not so good at cookin'!"

"So your sister must not be too worried about having a baby then?"

"Nope." Beth grinned. "Cause on top of that, she's a labor nurse. She's there to help deliver babies!"

"Wow!" Carl chuckled. "What hospital does she work at?"

"Regional Hospital"

"No way!" Carl's eyes lit up. "That's where my baby sister was born!"

Beth gasped.

"Maybe Maggie helped deliver your sister!"

"Maybe so!" He said. "That would be crazy!"

 

\-----

 

"Hi."

"Hi."

Simon sat down in front of beth in the grass outside her tent.

She couldn't help but smile at him as he took the kit from her and their fingers brushed.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked, wishing he could pull her into his arms.

"I'm fine, really." She said. "I just wish I could spend the night in your arms."

Simon shook his head, not even wanting to think about that.  
He wanted that too, more than anything.

"Thank you for helping me with this." She added.

"Well, I wouldn't want anyone else to do it." He flashed a smile at her.

She giggled as he gently took her arm in his hand and turned it over to see the two cuts that were healing up well.  
He ran his thumb gently over the unmarred skin next to it and she felt goosebumps from his touch.

"I wish we could've spent more time together today." He spoke low even though the nearest person was not even in earshot.

"Me too." Beth frowned. "patch me up slowly."

He chuckled, having planned on taking his time anyway.

"Don't worry, I will." He said. "Im sorry, darlin'. This might sting a little."

Beth watched him as he worked, gently running the swab with peroxide over her wound.

"I saw Enid talking to you." She blurted out.

Simon sighed in frustration.  
He didn't even want to think about her.

"She had the nerve to come over and ask me to help her with sunscreen!" He shook his head.

"I don't blame her..." Beth said boldly, blushing even as she spoke. "I definitely like the thought of your hands all over me."

Simon's eyes shot up to meet hers and he paused what he was doing, fingers still caressing the skin on her arm  
He was silent which made her nervous.  
As she stared back, his eyes grew larger and darker with lust.  
It took everything in him to not lean in to kiss her.

"Was that stupid?" She panicked. "I've never said anything like that before."

He pulled himself from the trance he was in because of her and had to assure her.

"No...it's just unfair. I want to show you how much I care about you and if you want me too than I'd love to be able to show you how it feels for me to touch you like that..."

Beth grinned, staring into him and he realised he needed to continue his task before he did anything he'd get in trouble for.  
He grabbed two of the sticky bandages and pressed them over the two marks before he picked up the roll of gauze and wrapped it around her arm slowly.

"Either way, I'm sorry she approached me like that."

"Simon, I know I can't control what she does and neither can you."

Simon smiled at her as he tied the end of the white protective cloth into a knot.

"Good, cause I hope you know that if I had it my way she'd stay the hell away from both of us and you would be sleeping beside me in my tent tonight."

 

\-----

Negan couldn't believe how fast the night had gone.  
He was certainly glad that he'd made this hike only 24 hours since this group proved to be real troublemakers.

He couldn't stop thinking of ways to keep Anderson and his girlfriend away from Carl and beth.  
He had to do something.   
He knew for sure that the thing he was going to do as soon as they got back was move Carl out of cabin 7.

He couldn't take the sweet young man being bullied like that any more.  
Especially not under his watch.

Negan knew as soon as he thought about Carl, it would quickly transition into a different kind of image.

Thinking about him meant remembering how he looked without a shirt half the day and he knew he wouldn't be able to get that out of his mind.

No one else knew what he was thinking so what was the harm in focusing on the memory.

He knew why.

It was wrong.  
So wrong.  
but if it was so damn wrong why did it feel so damn right to imagine his hands gliding down his flat chest.  
Wondering what the skin of his collarbone tasted like.  
Or what he might sound like if he got him under his sheets in his bed back at camp-

"Negan?"

Negan looked up and Carl was standing right in front of him a couple of steps away.  
He wondered if he'd read his mind and knew he'd been thinking about him.  
He hoped not considering the thoughts that he was having.  
Carl wasn't any less attractive, standing there in his pajama pants and T-shirt than he was in the fantasy he was just having.  
Infact he was even more adorable.

"Can we talk?"

His first instinct was to make them both suffer and tell him no.  
He had to find a way to get rid of these inappropriate delusions over this boy and that would be easiest.  
Just nip it in the bud.  
No more deep, meaningful talks.  
No more being 'friends'.  
No more looking in those sweet, stunning blue eyes that he could just drown in.

"Sure, Carl." Negan said, patting the ground beside him.

For a moment, Carl stared silently at the warm fire that negan was adding branches to.  
He wasn't sure if he didn't know what to say or how to say it.  
He understood that feeling well and wasn't going to push him.  
He had all night since he was on watch so if Carl needed to sit with him in silence until sunrise, he wasn't going to stop him.  
They could just sit there together as painful as that would be.

"Did...I do something wrong? Or did I upset you?"

Negan swore he felt his heart break when Carl pulled that out of the darkness that was surrounding them.  
The worst part was, he knew exactly why he thought that.  
Carl didn't have to elaborate.  
He was aware that he'd been putting up a wall between them all day and it was hurting him too.

"Cause if I did-" 

Negan stopped him in his verbal tracks by taking a hand Carl had folded in his lap.  
He felt his eyes on him though he couldn't bear to look back just yet.  
Negan grasped Carl's fingers in his and pulled it over into his own lap closing it between both of his own.

"Carl...you didn't do anything. Not a damn thing." He gave a shaky sigh. "Please, don't think that. Don't ever think that."

The young man's heart beat rapidly in his chest as their fingers touched.  
He loved feeling this man's skin as it connected with his, giving off sparks that gave the crackling fire a run for it's money.

"I'm sorry if I've been off today...the hike always stresses me out."

Carl nodded as negan let go of his hand, realising what he'd done.

"Its OK. At first, I just figured you didn't want the rest of the campers to think we were friends. I mean if we are...friends?"

Negan let himself smile.

"Yeah...we can be friends."

That hurt too.

"And then I thought that maybe I cause too much trouble and you needed to focus on somebody else. You have 165 kids here. I'd understand if I was taking up too much of your time."

Negan turned and looked at Carl for the first time in hours.  
Really looked at him.  
Stared back into the blue orbs he missed all day.  
Carl let out the smallest of gasps from the powerful gaze.

"Never." Negan whispered, shaking his head. "I don't- I haven't figured out why yet but...I told you earlier, you are so much more important to me than just average, everyday camp problems."

"So...we are friends?" Carl smirked, trying to lighten the moment.

Negan let out a loud chuckle that was sure to wake up the campers.

"Yeah, I'd say so."

Both of them turned and looked up at the stars for a second.  
Not saying a word, just enjoying the nighttime world existing around them.

"What else was it you wanted to talk about?" He eventually asked, masking the pain he still felt, wishing he had a beer or Bourbon or anything to do the job for him.

Carl seemed like he wanted to crawl under a rock again.  
He'd appeared nervous when he came over and negan was getting a bit on edge himself.  
He didn't want Carl holding things in if he needed to talk.

"You said if I told you something...it would stay between us?"

"Of course." Negan said looking in his eyes again so Carl knew he was serious.

"I can't...do this anymore." Carl looked suddenly hurt and negan couldn't take that.  
He placed an arm around Carl and rubbed his back gently as if coaxing it out of him.  
Carl visibly relaxed and after a second of hiding his face in his hands, he took a deep breath.

"I want to tell you..."

Negan turned all of his focus on him.

"Then tell me." He said gently, dropping his hand from Carl to add the last branch in the fire before looking right back at him.

"I can't...I can't let him hurt Judith."

"What? Is this about your Godfather?" Negan asked, getting angrier as Carl revealed another horrific details about this man. "Who's Judith? He's blackmailing you too?!"

"Judith's my little sister." Carl explained.

Negan rubbed over his face trying to drain some of the tension but it was not working.  
He didn't take people hurting children.  
If he didn't get his hands on this idiot soon he was going to hunt the man down.

"He told me once when he was drunk that...he thought Judith was his...I thought that already...I wasn't surprised. If he got a paternity test, he could legally take her away and I couldn't protect her anymore."

Negan rubbed his temples, trying to get through the intense anger he was feeling.   
He didn't want to do anything that would scare Carl like whacking Lucille on something until he was satisfied.

"Not if he's in prison!" Negan shouted.

Or dead.

Carl shook his head.

"Just forget it! He's never going to get in trouble for this! I am!" He screamed in a panic. "I'm going to get arrested for this! He's never going get what he deserves!"

Negan couldn't take Carl's sweet, sad face any more and reached over to pull him into his arms.

"He will." He whispered, stroking the back of Carl's head, his soft hair still damp from swimming earlier.  
It felt so good under his fingers and he couldn't believe he'd never thought about it before.  
He was fixated now on running his fingers all the way through it and tried really hard to not do it right now.

"There's no way! He gets away with everything!"

Negan sighed, forcing himself to let go and Carl kept going.

"I...I know my family brought the police report when they dropped me off. it's your requirement, isn't it? if a kid could potentially be arrested during camp?"

Negan nodded, a sick feeling bubbling up in his stomach.  
The thought of Carl being taken away from h-  
The thought of him being led away in handcuffs...

"What did mine say?"

Negan hesitated. "There was a theft report and uh, a speeding fine and ending with an injury case."

"He stole a sports car from the only car lot in town. He asked me; you wanna have some fun?" Carl filled in.

Negan sighed.

"I never should've gotten in that damn car..." Carl rubbed his forehead.

Negan was silent, wanting Carl to continue and get this out once and for all.

"I thought-...Shane told me he got a new car and that he wanted me to be his first passenger. I didn't think anything of it at the time. He was always asking me to go with him places, usually just to do stupid stuff for him. Little errands and crap like that he never wants to do for himself. You know, he's a total lazy ass unless he's at the gym. I can't tell you how many times he's backed my dad into a corner to do his reports for him because they were due and he hasn't done them!"

"What a fucking asshole." Negan muttered, making Carl grin. "He's a cop too?"

"Yeah, unfortunately." Carl replied. "You know if the commissioner knew that it was him in the driver's seat that night and not me..."

"He let you take the fall for a stolen, wrecked car..." Negan said the pieces falling into place.

"And almost killing a man. He hit an old man working in a shack on the property we crashed on. None of us realised it until the next morning otherwise he might not be as bad off as he is...he's in a coma at the hospital."

"What's the man's name?"

"Dale Horvath."

"The reason you know that is one other biggest reason you shouldn't be in trouble for this! Look how much care you put into this mess! I bet he doesn't even know the poor guy's name!"

Carl shook his head.

Negan was almost shaking by this point.  
He practically needed to get his hands on Shane right now to even begin to calm down.  
He could imagine his hands around his neck or even better, raising 'Lucille' above him and-

"I'm so sorry, Carl." 

Carl shrugged.

"I've decided that...if Mr.Horvath doesn't make it, I'm taking the sentence without a fight."

"No."

"Someone needs to pay for what Shane did!"

"Not you!"

Negan took Carl's face in his hands to get him to understand.

"Not. you."

Carl stared back him, trembling as negan leaned closer.  
He barely felt the older man's forehead brush his just as droplets of rain started beating down onto them.  
Negan let go of Carl and they both scrambled up off the ground to get out of what was quickly turning into mud.

Negan tossed a bucket of water onto the fire to make sure it was out before taking off with Carl back to the tents.  
When they got there, Carl stopped in his tracks, seeing his tent completely collapsed, on the ground.  
Negan was yelling at him before he even had time to think about what he was going to do.

"Grab your bag!" Was all negan said and he pushed through the wet mess, finding the back pack that was thankfully mostly dry and followed the taller man into a much larger tent across the way.

Carl ducked in behind him, dropping to the ground and rolling onto his back on a blanket, breathing heavily.

It took a few seconds but eventually they both ended up in a fit of laughter, next to each other on the blanket.  
finally after a moment it wasn't as funny anymore and negan was laying there thinking but still on the verge of laughing again.

"What happened to your tent?" Negan asked still grinning, holding his stomach from the hysterics.

"I don't know!" Carl replied, wiping a tear away and clutching his side.

"I'd say you're welcome to stay..."

Carl giggled.

"Thanks." He said. "I don't want you to get in trouble though."

Negan raised his eyebrow.

"With who? It's my camp. I make the rules. Tonight the rule is; you're staying in my tent."

Carl blushed though negan didn't notice as sat up to flip on the lantern at the back.

"But if you're gonna stay here, you gotta get out of those wet clothes."

Carl tried to act natural.  
He didn't care if negan saw him shirtless.  
He'd already seen him shirtless twice today so what was once more.  
He dug through his bag and pulled out a dry one and tried not to stare as negan stripped down to his boxer briefs beside him before pulling on some grey pants.  
Carl felt his cheeks burn again and turned away completely, pulling his own rain soaked pants off and quickly pulling on a pair of shorts.  
The length of the tent top was hindering him from moving the way he needed to to get his shirt on without disturbing his ribs and he didn't know how to manage without making a scene in front of negan.

Carl let out a defeated sigh just as he felt gentle fingers running over his shoulder blade.  
He almost jumped out of his skin as the tips ran down along the jagged pattern of his wound.

"Did he do this?" 

Negan's voice was a sort of painful whisper and Carl couldn't help but lean into his touch.

He couldn't admit it out loud so he just nodded.

"Feel up under my hair...right above my neck."

Negan didn't hesitate and Carl fought back any noises as he almost made as he reached around to press the larger fingers in just the exact spot.

Negan let out a pained sound as he felt a knot on the back of Carl's head.

"He did that too. Knocked me out...we fought after the wreck and I tried to leave the scene but I'm pretty sure he threw something at me and then placed me in the driver's seat so I got blamed for it all."

Negan closed his eyes trying to work through his tense anger. Carl didn't know what to do with himself now with Negan's full attention still on him. 

"I'm going to take a wild guess that he did this too?" Negan asked running a thumb over the large bruise on his left ribcage.

"Yeah, that same night. That I remember."

"Lay down." Negan said, firmly.

Carl's heart pounded but he wasn't about to say no to him.  
He was curious about what he was doing.

"Do you mind if I-" Negan raised his right hand above him

"No." Carl cut him off because he didn't mind him touching him anywhere at all.

"Okay...I don't want to hurt you. I'm just testing something."

Negan took a shaky breath as he softly ran a hand over the large bruise and then began to use the lightest of pressure on the area and Carl let out a gasp and winced so he stopped only resting his hand there.

"Have you had trouble breathing? Or pain?" He asked and Carl looked away.

"Maybe a little."

Negan frowned.

"I assume you haven't told your parents or seen a doctor."

"No." Carl swallowed, suddenly feeling like he was being chastised like a kid.

"If anyone saw it I was just going to tell them I was attacked or something."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't lie to me." Negan said and Carl looked up into his eyes.  
The silence was drowned out by the sounds of raindrops still beating on the top of the tent.

"I wouldn't."

Negan gave him a small smile before turning to dig through his bag.

"You can sit up." Negan said as he fished out a medical kit.

"You need to take some advil for your ribs, I'm pretty sure they're broken." Negan said popping open a water bottle and handing it all to Carl. "When we get back to camp...I want to put some ice on them." 

Carl took the meds and stared as negan was doing something else.

"Turn back around," negan said holding a cloth and a small bottle of peroxide. "That looks infected."

Negan didn't even want to look at the marred skin again but he had to help Carl.  
It was like it was in him and just couldn't stop.  
He'd never cared so much for a camper - for anyone like this in a while and it was almost starting to scare him.

"Jesus f..." Negan whispered as Carl tried not to squirm at the sting when the disinfectant hit his skin. "What did he u-"

"A piece of glass." Carl answered without him even finishing his sentence. "He was trying to stop me from leaving. He needed me there remember? To pin the crime on."

"That son of a bitch needs to-...he needs to go down for this! He can't go around hurting you and get away with it! What else has he done?!"

Carl could tell negan was furious and he felt such a deep protection when he was with him.  
He felt safe.

"He's always been rough with me...and rude. You know, calling me names and whatever but...this was definitely the worst."

"You shouldn't have had to put up with that." Negan said as he finished, placing a bandage over the area.

Carl shrugged, turning to face him.

"Leave your shirt off." Negan said trying not to feel like a total creep. "It's hot and the less you have to move your ribs the better. You might want to think about wearing just button ups 'til you heal more."

Carl nodded as negan pulled out another blanket and made Carl a pillow like his.  
The silence found them again as Carl realized that he was sharing a tent with negan.  
He wasn't sure what he should do or if he should sit up or lay down.  
Carl acted like he was going through his bag just for something to do.

"I'm sorry." Negan said suddenly, laying down on his back so Carl joined him.

"For what?" Carl chuckled, not being able to imagine what he could possibly be sorry for.

"I feel like everything I've said to you in the last hour has been really controlling and...bossy."

"You? Bossy? Never." Carl teased hoping negan wouldn't be offended but he laughed too. "It's OK. It wasn't like you were forcing me into anything. You were trying to help me."

Negan rolled over to face him then and looked him in the eyes.

"Promise me that you know that I would never do that to you. I would never force you...or hurt you. People like that are sick, monsters."

This took Carl's breath away, seeing the desperateness in him.

Carl nodded unable to speak right away. "I know." He said without doubt. "Negan, from the day we met, I trusted you. I always have. I always will."

Negan let out an honest chuckle that ended with a real smile.

"I've never had a camper tell me that before. Remember, I told you, they're all afraid of me."

"Apparently Ron's not afraid enough of you since he keeps messing with me."

A dark look came over him as he reached behind him and rested the sharp bat between them.

"He should be."

Carl blinked, being so close to it and knew it looked different today.  
He actually sort of liked the addition of the wire and negan watched Carl turn and rest his head on his arm to just stare in admiration at the weapon.  
Carl just kind of smiled at it and negan grinned at his clear fascination.

"I'll tell you about her sometime..." Negan said moving it back to his right side.

"Her? I thought you were only into guys?"

Negan chuckled.

"I am...but Her name's Lucille. Like I said, I'll tell you about her someday. I'm not ready yet...and we should really get some rest."

Carl nodded, turning to stare up at the tent top as negan turned off the lamp.

"I get it. When ever you're ready to talk, I'm here."

Negan smiled as his words were pretty much thrown back at him.

"Thanks."

Carl closed his eyes to try and fall asleep, though he doubted laying next to this man he would be able to.

"Hey, Carl?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a confession."

Carl turned and looked at him through the darkness as the rain was now down to a soft, slow pattern.

"Shane called for you this morning."

Carl didn't say anything.

"I couldn't let him talk to you." 

Carl wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Did he say what he wanted?" 

"He was drunk but he basically told me to tell you to make sure you kept your mouth shut."

Carl actually laughed.

"Too late."

Negan didn't say anything else, waiting to see what Carl was thinking.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Everything."

Negan reached over and grasped his hand.

"Goodnight, Carl."

Carl closed his eyes, making no attempt to let go.

Neither did he.

"Goodnight, Negan."


	14. Good morning negan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really Small chapter compared to last but I hope you all like it! Next one is pretty intense so it might be longer and a bit before I post it...not sure yet. Let's see how fast I can write!

It was still mostly dark outside when Negan began to stir but he could tell that the sun was planning on rising.  
The only rain that was left was what had collected on the trees and was dropping softly onto the top of the tent.

It was all familiar to him, laying here in this tent yet something was much different.  
He realised that he was wrapped around something warm and his arm was underneath.  
Despite trying to give them two completely separate blanket-beds last night, it hadn't worked.  
Negan's arm was clamped around Carl's middle and Carl's soft head of hair was resting on his other arm like a pillow.  
Negan knew as soon as the sleepiness began to wear off, where he went wrong.

He never should have fallen asleep with his fingers intertwined with the boy's.  
Even now, their hands were still together and tucked up against Carl's bare chest.  
His brain was screaming at him how incredibly bad and wrong this was but his heart just couldn't agree when he really took in the beautiful sleeping boy.

He looked so damn peaceful.

Negan leaned in a tiny bit closer.  
Even after sweating all day yesterday and getting in and out of the lake water, Carl smelled amazing.  
He almost could just bury his face in his neck and being so close to his hurt shoulder, he wanted more than anything to brush his lips over the area.

It slowly was starting to occur to him what little space between him and Carl there was.  
Carl had shifted back some in the night but he'd moved closer too.  
Negan felt his cheeks heat up as he was very aware now of the perfect curve of hips and ass pressed up against his front.  
He was trying to not think about how it seemed as if they were made for each other.  
Carl just fit so perfectly in that space and noticing this took his breath away.

Negan closed his eyes, laying so still unable to process what to do next and how to move away from him without him waking up.   
Except for his already stiffening dick had other plans.  
Negan's hips pressed forward on their own and he swallowed intensely as he prayed that Carl wouldn't feel it.  
Negan breathing became more ragged as he could practically feel through Carl's shorts between his ass where he would fit so nicely and-   
this really had to stop.  
He had to get himself together.  
He was so painfully hard and needed to get up and take care of it before Carl or anyone else saw him.

Having his arm as a pillow was embarrassing but if Carl woke up to find him like this?

That was way worse.

Gently he slipped his hand out from around him when Carl's fingers went limp enough in his sleep.  
He turned onto his back so he wasn't so close to him, the only thing left touching him was his arm.  
Negan shifted and let out a sleepy sound as he noticed Carl stirring beside him.  
The younger man turned over to face him still seeming to be asleep and then finally he stretched and his eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning." Negan choked out and Carl nuzzled what he thought was his pillow but as he realized how warm and tanned it was, Carl leaned away quickly.

"I'm so sorry." He panicked, pink fading over his cheeks as he glance at negan and then looked away.

"That's OK." Negan smiled, knowing that nuzzling his arm was nothing compared to what he'd done to him a minute ago.

He had to get out of the confined space with him before he did anything he'd regret.

"Hey, uh, its still really early. Why don't you go back to sleep. Its not raining anymore so I need to get out there and wait for the campers to get up."

Carl wasn't about to argue with him since he was sitting there rubbing his eyes as he spoke to him.

"...kay." Carl said adorably and dropped back down on the blanket.  
He seemed to be asleep in seconds so Negan quickly dressed and got out of there, zipping the sleeping boy up in the tent as he left.

 

There was no movement from any of the tents, no sounds, nothing so negan knew that he'd have complete privacy when he went out a few yards to some of the large trees near the lake.

Only the sounds of the water hitting the edge of the bank filled his ears as he undid the jeans he'd just put on and grasped his solid length.

It didn't take long for the moment he'd had with Carl a second ago to fill his thoughts and be the fuel for his pleasure.

He couldn't keep the thought of what Carl fingers would feel like wrapped around him instead of his own out of his head.

Negan groaned as he tugged and rubbed the sensitive areas and let himself indulge in the secret moment he'd had with Carl.

It wasn't until he came, white creaminess painting the grass and leaves beneath him, that the real guilt sunk in.

 

 

The second Carl heard Negan's footsteps get farther and farther away, he uncurled himself from his side position and relaxed on his back still aware of Negan's personal scent around him.

It hadn't completely sunk in yet that he'd slept with the older man tucked around him all night.  
It felt so right waking up next to him and he wished negan had lay there just a few more minutes.

Though, If he had, he probably would've let it slip that he hadn't been asleep the whole time.

carl moaned as he wrapped his fingers around his hardness, wishing it was Negan's large hand on him instead.  
He recalled moments ago when the man was pressing himself against him and he knew negan had the same problem he had.  
His body clearly was reacting well to his and Carl barely was able to keep still when negan rubbed his crotch against his ass.  
He wanted so badly to whimper for him then and let out a quiet sound now that he was alone.  
He knew he wouldn't last long now that he had the ghost of Negan's touch on him and picked up the pace of his fingers rubbing at the perfect spots.

Carl soon came in his shorts and turned over falling into dreamy, exhausted state as Negan's name fell from his lips.

 

\-----

 

"You're gonna wanna see this."

 

Negan gave simon an odd look as this was the first thing he said to him that day.  
He followed the man anyway when he saw how upset he was.

"I went to take a piss when I got up and saw this..."

Negan stepped around through the bushes and waved his hand at the large rock that was now decorated in bright green reading; 'camp suckz' and 'fuck you'

"Son of a- who would do this?!" Negan cried.

"Who knows. We got like 200 delinquents here, negan."

Negan sighed, leaving the area, not wanting to see it anymore.

"We'll figured it out." Simon said, patting him on the shoulder, knowing it was time to calm him down.

"We'll figured out who fucking did this and they'll pay!" Negan slapped Lucille into his palm, forgetting about the wire.

"Fuck-" he whispered and simon looked horrified.

"Don't look at me like that...I've done this before."

"Not in front of me." Simon winced, torn between watching negan sucking on his wounds and looking completely away.

"Alright, I'll deal with this as soon as they get their asses out of bed!" Negan yelled hoping to wake some of them up so he could start questioning them.

"Did you fix that coffee yet?" He snapped sending simon rushing off to do that while set to bandaging up his hand.

 

\-----

 

It was definitely a couple of hours later that Carl awoke for the second time that morning.  
He stretched and glanced around at his surroundings as the memories of waking up next to negan came back.  
As hard as he tried, he couldn't keep a smile off his face as he decided he really should get up and get out of Negan's tent.

As he rifled through his bag, he pulled out a button up shirt and he remembered Negan's tip about not bothering with a T-shirt.  
He felt awkward getting completely undressed, hearing noises outside but he had no choice and stripped down.  
Carl panicked hearing footsteps approach and then recognized Negan's voice and another man.  
Determining it was simon and they clearly were getting farther away again, he relaxed and finished getting dressed and got out trying to act natural as if he didn't just step out of the big,bad leader's tent.

Most of the campers were gathered around what was left of the fire pit and were eatting breakfast.  
He smiled at beth who was sitting alone, awkwardly on a blanket on the ground and she scooted over,knowing he'd come join her.

 

"I don't know where we put the rest of the food supplies?" Simon asked as negan just zoned out as Carl walked across the grounds.  
The man totally ignored him infact and simon had never seen this look before.  
There was a smile involved.  
A small smile but it was a real one.  
It wasn't malicious or sarcastic.

Simon watched his best friend as he watched Carl and he wondered what was so special about him until it occurred to him what direction he'd come from.

Had Carl spent the night with negan?

This information was enough to make his head spin and he didn't even know how to process this.  
While he just watched this all in silence, negan turned back to him.

"What was that?"

"I asked where the rest of the food supplies were?" Simon repeated.

"Oh, uh...Behind my tent."

Simon nodded, leaving it at that, knowing he'd be keeping quite an eye on negan from now on.

 

\-----

 

"How was your night?" Carl asked after he took a portion of food from miss arat and sat next to beth.

"Good. Except, did you hear the rain last night?"

Carl chuckled. 

"I got caught in it last night."

Beth giggled at the image in her head.

"Oh dear!"

Beth suddenly changed the subject to ask him if he'd seen what one of the camper's had done to the big rocks over by the lake in the night.

"You missed it! Someone spray painted rude things on the big rocks and Negan was yelling at anyone that was awake! It was nuts!"

Carl stared at her as she told him this.

"Wow! Who would do that?" Carl said though he had a good guess.

"I don't know but I actually don't think it was Ron."

"Really? Negan didn't yell at you, did he?"

"No, of course not! Simon told me that he thinks it was the girl that always wears her ball cap backwards. He said that miss Arat noticed she had that same color on her hands and shirt and negan was going to question her."

"The things I miss when I sleep in." He joked, glancing at negan across the way, talking to simon.

He noticed right away, the man had his hand bandaged up and wondered what happened.

He really was going to have to learn to get up earlier.

 

\-----

 

"It sure is great of you to help, Mr.Grimes." simon said as he worked near him to roll up tents.

"Its no problem." Carl replied, feeling sort of awkward knowing about him and beth.

The guy was cool and he could see why beth fell for him it was just weird not being able to he open about it.

"You know, you're a good kid, Mr.Grimes." simon said. "We don't see a lot of those here."

Carl chuckled. "I'm sure you don't. And please just call me Carl." He waited a minute then added. "But Beth is nice."

Simon raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, she's..." He had a dreamy grin on his face.

Carl raised one back as to challenge him to say something.

"She's very sweet."

Carl rolled up another tent and placed it in the pile.

"But you know, Carl, the boss must like you if he let you stay in his tent last night."

Carl paused, trying not to let it show to Simon that he was terrified over what he might say next but he spoke before the man could again.

"Yeah...Mr.negan is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I couldn't believe he'd give up his tent for me."

Simon gave him a questioning look.

"He didn't stay there too?" The man blurted out.

"No!" Carl lied. "He was on watch and I came back from...a bathroom break and found my tent had been messed with and it was raining and he told me to take his since he didn't need it."

Simon scratched his head as he closed up another folded up tent.

"O...k."

Carl hoped he'd drop it after that and he seemed to.

"He is pretty nice then I guess, he'd never give me his tent." Simon finished with a teasing tone so Carl just laughed with him and changed the conversation back to the task at hand.

 

\-----

 

After breakfast, negan announced that it was time to head back to camp.  
Everyone clearly wasn't ready for the long trek again but wasn't about to argue with him.  
They were instructed to get their stuff and join him at the edge of the trees where they arrived yesterday.

They all lined up and as negan walked by counting heads, he handed Ron one of the the heavy bags and another to the girl with the backwards cap.

"One of these days, you campers are gonna learn not to mess with me."

The boy glared at him but didn't reply, both just excepting thier punishment.

"Alright! Cmon, let's head out!"

 

Carl was surprised when negan called him up to the front after they'd only been walking for a few minutes.  
He knew he hadn't done anything wrong but it was awkward talking to him in front of the rest of the camp.  
He felt like they couldn't be as comfortable around each other as they usually were.

"What were you and simon talking about...when you were picking up?" Negan asked.

Carl felt better now, knowing this was all this was about.

"Oh," Carl chuckled. "He basically wanted to know why I spent the night with you last night."

Negan tried not to show the panic on the outside that he felt on the inside.

"And?"

"And I told him how generous you were to give up your tent since mine had been messed up. But you had to keep watch anyway and you didn't need it so..."

Negan gave him a knowing grin, relieved that Carl lied to protect him, even if it was mostly innocent to begin with.

"Sounds good, Carl. Thanks, that's all I needed to know."

Carl knew he had to make his way back to beth and not stay at the front talking with the man as much as he wanted to.

 

"What was that about?" Beth asked when she caught back up to him.

"He just wanted to thank me for helping out this morning." He shrugged.

"That's nice." She grinned.

He grinned too as thoughts of waking up this morning fell back into the front of his mind.

"Yeah, he really is..."


	15. How do you tell someone...

Negan knew something was wrong the second they stepped back into the familiar main area of the camp.  
He could just tell.  
He knew this place well and he couldn't keep the feeling out of his gut.

Carl and beth glanced at each other, noticing the odd vibe surrounding the area.

As they entered the main area, the staff was gathered around the main office and the heavy security vehicles had been pulled up to the front gates.  
There was a chatter in the air and negan was not about to wait to find out what was going on.

Negan turned to look at simon and all it took was a nod to get him barking orders at the campers.

"Listen up! Boys follow me! Ladies please follow miss arat to the girls cabins! Mr.Negan wants everyone out of the main area and not to return until you are called for dinner!"

A lot of the kids looked panicked and they scrambled to sort themselves into the right groups.  
During the chaos, beth ran over to simon and his heart couldn't take how scared she looked.

"What's goin' on? Why are those people here? Who are they?"

Simon placed his hands on her shoulders to try and calm her.

"Darlin', I don't know. Its gonna be ok, please just go with arat." He desperately needed her to cooperate because that was how she would be safest.

She could tell that he was nervous too and even though that didn't help how she felt, she knew she had to do this for him.

She nodded, turning to go over to her group grasping Carl's outstretched hand for a moment, on the way.

"Alright, everyone follow your group! Think of us as your leader! We are now your Negan!"

 

\-----

 

"Someone! Tell me what the ever loving hell is going on in my camp!"

The counselors that were present stared at joey and the other security as they waited for an explanation.

"Um...there was an...older male suspect," joey began, swallowing nervously as negan gripped Lucille tightly. "Spotted on the grounds."

"Who? What? When? Where? These are understandably all questions I have!" Negan replied, his finger digging into the table between them.

"We don't know..." Joey whispered.

"Well, we do know when and where." A blonde working with his personal staff replied. "Your guy here has the footage of a similar figure on the property around two in the morning."

The large man turned the laptop to face his boss and played the bit with their intruder.

Sure enough there was a man barely ducking by the camera and heading off towards the girl's cabin area.

"And the footprints that were left matched ones in the infirmary from our last investigation the other day when you said a female camper saw a man."

"Damn." Negan whispered considering his options and deciding slamming Lucille down on the table was best. "We were not out that far! You know where we went so tell me why I was not personally notified of this!"

"I handled it." Joey trembled.

"Really? You caught the guy? Where is he? I wanna talk to him."

"I meant I called in back up." Joey whispered.

Negan pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning back so he could gather the strength to not bash everyone's heads in that were in this room.

Simon entered then and negan was going to yell until he saw his best friend.

"Did I hear right?" Simon asked. "The man who's after b-miss greene is here?!"

Negan turned and watched him calculatingly.

"She's not safe?!" He panicked.

"Sir, frankly, none of the campers are." Said the blonde.

Simon clearly didn't care but didn't say anything else just hung back to listen.

"Alright," negan spoke again. "Get guards at each gate. Keep them closed until the family meeting in a few days and DO NOT let this information out to them or anyone else! And alert me if you see ANYTHING else! If a damn squirrel eats an acorn on my fucking property, someone better tell me! Do you understand?!"

They all agreed so he was satisfied enough to leave only to catch sherry and amber at the front desk gabbing quietly.

"Mr.negan?" Sherry piped up though amber looked like she didn't want to get his attention.

"This better be important, sherry." He said, trying not to take out his mood on his secretary.

"I just wanted to give you this while you're here." She said. "You said you wanted it as soon as you got back."

Negan skimmed over the papers and nodded.

"Good job, sherry." He said as he went to leave but then turned back, waving the brunette over to him. "Also, we are taking no more calls for the campers until further notice."

"Yes, sir."

Negan glanced over at the timid blonde and gestured.

"Is there something amber might want to tell me? Cause if you girls don't want to do your job, I don't want to keep anyone here that doesn't want to be here. You know that right?"

Sherry nodded. "I will remind her of that and let you know if there is anything you need to know."

Negan walked away then, heading to take care of anything else that needed to be done.

 

\-----

 

Carl was relieved when he heard Ron say he was going to the showers because that meant he could pack his stuff in peace.  
He wasn't looking forward to being in a room alone with him so this would work out well.

Negan still hadn't told him which cabin he was moving to and Carl didn't really want to bother him when he was busy with all the chaos from the staff.

Carl was definitely curious as to what happened and hopefully he'd see him at dinner.

It occurred to him he could track him down and see if he could help but also he didn't want to be in the way.

It didn't take long for Carl's thoughts on the man to take a different turn and soon he found himself fantasising much like he was earlier.  
Carl sighed as he felt his jeans tighten and he had to try and think of something else and focus on getting his stuff packed.

 

Even as the little voice in the back of his head warned him what a horrible idea it was, negan grabbed a bottle of beer from his stash and popped it open.

What else could go wrong today...

He drank half of it, letting it start to work its magic before he even picked up the papers sitting on the end of his bed.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead, not wanting to deal with this now but he had to know.  
His eyes scanned the list of names of people that called for campers while they were gone, holding his breath while he just dared Shane's name to be on there.

 

Twice.

Shane had called twice.

Negan finished off his beer in two gulps as he felt the rage building inside and chucked the bottle against the wood door, watching it shatter all over the floor.

His thoughts faded quickly to Carl and he debated grabbing another beer but he really needed to be 'here' today.  
There was too much going on that he had to be alert for.

Negan sighed, realizing just one thought of the boy could calm him down better than a second beer ever would.

Standing, negan walked over to the mess he had to clean up as he tried to think of ways to clean up all the others.

 

\-----

 

Negan was clearly in another world as simon was trying to tell him something, he just couldn't focus.

"We need to be placing protection in place for beth greene. If this guy- negan?"

Simon watched as negan stared for the second time that day at the young man across the way.

"Negan?"

The taller man turned at his name being barked in his ear and simon just gave him an incredulous look.

"I have a lot on my mind, simon. I'm sorry. I swear to god I need to be cloned to deal with all this shit!"

Simon chuckled, understanding.  
He wished he could be with beth and be here for negan at the same time.

"I get it." He said patting his friend on the shoulder. "I wanted to know if you've figured out the plan for tonight. Who is guarding beth since it looks like this intruder guy is after her? I'm happy to volunteer."

"I'm sure you are..." Negan judged.

"I am." Simon tried innocently. "I'm good at being a guard."

"To 'beth'?"

Simon realised his slip up. 

"Beth greene! Miss greene! Whatever!" He could feel Negan seeing right through him. "Says the-the guy who gives his tent to his favorite camper!"

Negan shook his head at the man's hidden accusations.

"Yeah, am I not a nice guy. And as for Carl, he's a good kid. He deserved it."

Simon hesitated.

"To the campers..." He teased. "Sometimes. And I agree. I've never had a camper offer to help me put away wet tents before."

"There you go, he earned it."

Negan's radio went off then so he ducked out of the doorway to find out who needed him now.  
Simon of course took the opportunity to switch to the other door when Beth's group came in.

She noticed him right away and smiled before Carl came to ask her what she wanted to eat.  
He left again and simon took a second to sit down with her.

"Hi." Beth grinned across the table at him, trying desperately not to take his hands. "Did you find out what's goin' on?"

Simon didn't want to lie to her but he didn't want to terrify her by telling her about the mysterious guy and negan didn't want this news getting around the camp.

"We're still working on it, darlin'. " he replied covering her hand with his for only a second.

"But this lockdown thing? Miss Regina said that everyone had to go to their cabins and stay inside after dinner."

Simon nodded.

"That's true. But please don't worry, I'm gonna be outside your cabin tonight no matter what." He winked at her just as Carl returned with food.

"I'll let you two eat. Enjoy." He grinned, heading off and Carl gave her a knowing glance as he pushed her cheese steak sandwich over to her.

"What was that about?" Carl asked knowing that they probably just wanted to be together.

"I asked him what was goin' on and he told me they're still figurin' it out but I'm not sure I believe him. Maybe when we're done eatin' I'll go ask 'im again or maybe you could ask your buddy Mr.Negan?"

Carl blushed redder than the ketchup on her fries.

Beth's eyes grew as she watched Carl become flustered just over Negan's name.

"Or...more-than-buddy Mr.Negan?"

"Really, beth!" Carl turned away from her just as negan reentered and that didn't help his case any.  
Carl's eyes found him instantly and gazed at his usual attire of white t-shirt, jeans and that damn leather jack that always seemed to show up in his dreams the older man starred in.

"Carl? Do you have a thing for Mr.Negan?!"

Carl shook his head at her.

"don't you ever dare tell anyone. I'm keeping you and simon a secret....but," Carl let his eyes wander down to the thick black buckle that kept those jeans on that were hiding absolutely everything. "Yeah...I do."

Beth opened her mouth to speak just as negan left again and miss Regina made an announcement that instructed the girls to finish up dinner and to meet her out side in fifteen minutes.

When Carl looked at her again, she was beaming at him.

"You and the leader?" She giggled.

Carl couldn't help but grin.

"Its not 'me and the leader', beth. We just talk, I don't know."

She shook her head.

"That's how it always starts." She said in a sing song tone making Carl blush again.

He hid in his hands as she teased him until he prompted her to finish eatting since she had to go.

"I wonder what happened to make them lock down the camp." Carl said, trying to change the subject.

Beth shrugged just as a fry landed on the table beside them.

Carl turned around to see where it came from and was met with a lap full of the cheese and meat mixture.

Some one at a close table cracked up just as someone yelled; "FOOD FIGHT!"

Carl came around to Beth's side of the table just as food started flying and he tipped the table on its side so they could hide from the majority of the mess.

"How did this happen?" Beth asked out loud as Carl was trying to peer around the table to see what was going on.

"I don't even know!" He called back as he could barely hear her over the roar of the shouting in the room.

Beth screamed as a bun hit the wall behind them and landed on the floor.

"Let's just stay here and hopefully your boyfriend will rescue us." Beth teased.  
Carl turned and scowled at her.  
"He's not my boyfriend!" He cried. "But maybe yours will!"

Beth just giggled as Carl peaked out again, crawling back over to her yelling, "get down, get down!"   
Carl threw his arms around her to shield her from most of the large splat that hit the table.  
In a blur someone joined them and beth beamed as she saw the familiar mustache, the rest of him mostly dry but some splotches of mystery foods on his shirt.

"If you let me hide back here with you, I'll give you both immunity with negan for this mess." Simon put on his friendly grin and they both waved him into the small space.  
Carl traded places with simon and he sat next to beth by the wall.

"Can't you stop this?" Carl asked. 

"Contrary to popular belief, I am not negan. They don't 'get in line' for me like they do him. I'd rather just wait it out until he comes back. This happens every year."

"Well, I'm not." Carl said bravely. "There's a door right there. I'm going out."

"You're a braver man than me." Simon joked as beth begged him not to go.

Carl refused to listen and ducked out from behind the table and out the door to the left.

He immediately saw negan over on the pathway to the main offices talking harshly with security.

"MUST I REMIND YOU WHO MAKES THE CALLS HERE?!"

Carl watched in awe at the control negan had over people.  
He'd seen the campers reactions to him but hardly ever anyone else.  
The negan asserting his authority sent chills down Carl's spine, making him forget he'd come to get him for a reason.

The large man gestured at Carl and negan seemed surprised to see him.  
He finished up quickly with the other man and came over to find out what he wanted.

"I know you've got a lot going on," Carl said. "I just thought you'd like to know that there's a major food fight going on in there."

Negan huffed, shaking his head and raised his bat with one hand.

"Oh, Lucille, give me strength!" He whispered before he waved for Carl to trail after him. "C'mon, I want you to see something."

Carl followed him back up to the mess hall and watched as negan through open the double doors, whistling that familiar threatening tune they all knew so well.

The whole room came to a halt and Carl watched as negan stepped confidently but slowly across the nasty, slippery floor.  
All eyes were on him as they waited to find out their punishment.

"I am fully aware by now that this..." he gestured at the food covering the walls and tables and faces of everyone. "happens every year! You all could not have picked a better day because I honestly don't have time to punish you since I'm too busy keeping you safe! This lock down is very serious! The only thing you will do is go outside right now and find your group and stay in your group! I DO NOT want to hear about ANY OF YOU getting out of line anymore tonight!"

they all stared at him, stunned, unsure of what to do when negan didn't punish them.  
They were all like statues and he couldn't take it so he yelled at them to make them budge.

"MOVE!"

Everyone shuffled out quickly after that, dividing themselves between Regina and Gavin.

Carl trudged over to him after noticing beth glance at simon before heading off towards her group.  
The mustached man lingered by the door to watch the interaction between his best friend and the camper.

 

"Can I help you...with anything?" Carl offered as negan looked like he was drowning in disasters. "I'm serious. I'll clean up in here or anything. I don't mind."

Negan sighed, shaking his head.

"That's exactly why you shouldn't." He said. "You didn't do this."

"I know, but I want you to know that you're not alone. And I don't just mean in sharing the load...I'm here for you for anything. I owe you. Even if you just want to vent about how horrible and uncivilized they all are." 

Negan laughed.

"Thanks...I feel better already. And you don't owe me-"

Carl smiled just as simon came over.

"Are you staying for clean up detail or...?" Simon teased.

"No, he's going back to his cabin where its safe." Negan said giving Carl a firm look.

"I offered." Carl pointed out.

"You oughta take him up on it, Neeg, I've never heard of a camper helping out at all, much less twice in one day."

The three guys laughed but negan put his foot down gently.

"I need my campers safe." He replied staring right into Carl's eyes so intensely as Carl stared right back.

Carl nodded, not wanting to upset the man anymore.

"If you need me, you know where to find me!" He said waving at them both as he exited.

He joined the boys group as he spotted them gathered around Mr.Gavin and turned and glared at the boy next to him who'd just elbowed him in his bad ribs.  
It was Ron's friend Mikey and he couldn't imagine what he wanted.

"What happened with your crazy friend after the food fight?" The shorter kid asked, licking a mysterious substance off his fingers. "She just took off!"

Carl gave him an odd and offended look.

"Beth?"

Mikey nodded.

"I don't know what you mean." He answered even though he didn't deserve one.

"You didn't hear it from me but some of the other kids saw her run off into the woods."

"What? Seriously?"

Mikey nodded but Carl was already gone, racing towards the cabins.

 

Carl took the steps up to her cabin and peered through the windows after knocking on the door a few times.  
He called her name but eventually gave up, knowing deep down that she wasn't there.

He ran back towards the boy's camp and around the large bushes and noticed simon herding some of the guys towards their cabins.

"Have you seen beth?!" He practically screamed at the man as he skidded to a stop in front of him.

"Not since dinner." He replied, trying not to appear panicked too.

"You really don't know where she is?" Carl confirmed wondering if she was just hiding out in his cabin or something.

"No, Carl! seriously, is she OK?" He grasped a shoulder.

"I don't know!" He called rushing off to cabin 7.

Carl wasn't sure what to think when he got back to his room and saw a letter on his bed. 

The fact that Ron could've been telling the truth was a shock to him.  
He picked it up skimming it quickly and sure enough it revealed her plans to go back to where negan took them yesterday.  
Carl sighed, grabbing his back pack and heading out alone to find her.

 

\-----

 

"Regina, I need to have a word with miss greene."

The girls counselor didn't even question him and plucked beth out from the crowd on the pathway instructing him to escort her to her cabin when he was through because they had to stay on schedule.  
as they all rounded the corner towards the girl's cabin he pulled her into his arms.

"Carl was looking all over for you! I think he thought you were gone!"

"Gone where?" She giggled, happy to have this moment with him.

"I don't know...But he sure was in a panic."

"Tell me." 

Simon shrugged.

"I don't know why, darlin' but as soon as I drop you off I'm gonna go let him know I found you, OK?"

She nodded, walking beside him to her cabin.

"I'm sorry I can't stay," he said, risking a kiss on the top of her head as they walked. "But I'll be here later."

She beamed at him as he waited for her to go in before he left.

 

\-----

 

"Uh, Carl Grimes is missing."

 

Negan felt ice cold through his veins as he heard simon speak those words.  
He couldn't even move or panic or anything for seconds that felt like minutes.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" 

Simon hadn't wanted to tell him in the first place but knew he had to.   
He was the only counselor he wouldn't kill on the spot at hearing that information.

"Carl Grimes was last seen right after dinner. When I went to check cabin 7, he was missing and next to a packed bag was this letter written by beth greene but she's here, safe and sound."

Negan took off like a shot out of his office and into the direction of the boys cabins forcing simon to pick up the pace.  
Negan jogged up the steps two and two, barely knocking as he entered with a main key and was surprised to see Ron wasn't there either.

"Find me Ron anderson and bring him to the front office!" Negan barked and simon left to do as best as he could.

Negan stepped toward Carl's bed and noticed his duffle bag neatly by his pillow but his back pack wasn't there.  
It was worth checking the drawers but it seemed like to him that he'd packed to move to the new room he'd promised him.

Negan sighed feeling bad that he hadn't followed up on that conversation but with the hectic day it just about completely slipped his mind.

Negan took the rest of Carl's belongings and left cabin 7, slamming the door behind him before heading to the front hoping simon had some answers.

 

 

"I found anderson trying to sneak into the girls camp..." Simon said as he walked with negan to the office. "We don't know if he was going to see his girlfriend or what."

"Lock him back up in confinement for the night but first I want to know what he knows about all this." Negan replied.

Simon nodded. "I showed the letter to miss greene and she had never seen it before." 

Negan nodded before he stepped in and shut the door, leaving them alone.

He wanted to not waste any time, not knowing where Carl was so he went right for scaring it out of Ron.

Lucille came down hard on the table top, inches from Ron's hand and the boy jumped out of his skin.

Negan was pleased but that didn't tell him where Carl was.

"Where is Mr.Grimes?"

Ron scoffed and looked the other way, folding his arms in to not take anymore chances with the leader.

"Do NOT make me repeat myself!" he slammed Lucille down again making another ugly scratch for affect. "I ASKED YOU WHERE IS CARL GRIMES!"

Ron was trying not to reveal how terrified he really was of what negan could do but he also wasn't about to give up on his plan so easily when this might be the trick to getting rid of Carl once and for all.

Negan tossed the letter onto the table where Ron could read it.

"You wrote this?"

"No!" Ron sneered. 

Negan smirked as hundreds of ways to get this guy to talk passed through his brain.  
He didn't have time for this.   
Carl might need him.

"Simon!" Negan called and the man rushed in.

"Yeah, negan? What do you need?" 

"I think we need to persuade Mr.Anderson here a bit more...you got a sharpie?"

Simon dug around in his pocket and found one, already knowing what negan was going to do with it.

Negan grabbed Ron's arm and tugged his baggy sleeve up to his elbow and opened the marker.

"What are you-" Ron tried to struggle away but simon held him down too.

"Sorry, Mr.Anderson," negan warned. "this...is going to be as cold as a warlock's ballsack. Just like he was hanging his ballsack above ya and draaaaaaag... right across your forearm." 

Ron gave him the most disgusted look as he tossed the pen back to simon and touched Lucille to the mark before raising it as if to take a chunk out of his left arm.

"WAIT! Wait!" Ron screamed. "Enid wrote the letter! I wanted grimes take off into the woods and I knew he'd do it to save that stupid blonde bitch!"

"That's all I wanted to hear." Negan said while simon grabbed a hold of the boy's shirt collar and screamed in his face about respecting other campers.

"He's all yours, Simon!" Negan called, tossing the main radio onto the desk. "And so's the camp! You're in charge while I'm gone looking for Carl Grimes!"

"Good luck getting to him before the snake does!" Ron piped up.

Both men turned to their captive.

"What the hell did you just say?!" Negan asked as he felt the color drain from his face. He took two loud steps back over to him, holding the bat at the kid's face.

"The snake." Ron chuckled. "I slipped it in his back pack before he left. if it gets him before you do...it'll be too late."

Simon watched a murderous look fall over negan.

"Get him back in his box!" Negan screamed as he slammed the door and took off to grab his bag and head out on the search.

 

\-----

 

Negan was relieved that Anderson really only knew this one spot here on the property otherwise this could take forever and Carl might not have that kind of time.  
He felt his heart pounding as he trekked fast through the brush of the forest, realising he was quickly losing daylight.  
He was left with a purplish glow to see by and knew he'd have to turn on his flash light soon to keep moving quickly.

The adrenaline to get to Carl was fighting off any concerns of night creatures he might meet and it was all he could do to continue with the boy on his mind.

He knew he was getting close having made it over the second rocky hill and he practically ran the rest of the way to the clearing, beating away the bushes that hid the area while shouting Carl's name.

Shining his flashlight all around near the fire pit he saw the back pack discarded in the dirt and negan swallowed a lump in his throat at the image that gave.

"Carl!" He tried again turning around when he herd rustling by a tree behind him.

Up by the tree where his tent had been, not even 24 hours ago, was a long figure, slumped against the trunk.  
And when he shined the light on it, he could tell it was Carl.

Negan rushed over and knelt down beside him, on the ground and as soon as Carl groaned and blinked at him, negan pulled him into his arms.  
It was terrible, but he didn't even care about his injuries in that second.  
He just had to hold him to know he was there.

"Negan...I." Carl mumbled as he let go and Carl lifted his shirt to show him the two teeth marks on his right side.

"Carl," negan warned, cupping his face to get him to perk up. "What did it look like, the snake. Tell me, now!"

"But beth, she..."

"Beth's fine. She's safe, back at camp. Tell me about the snake!"

"It-it wasn't the poisonous one...how did you know what it was?"

"That doesn't matter! What did it look like?!"

Carl closed his eyes again almost giving negan a heart attack.

"Carl, stay with me! The snake, what was it?!" Negan called pulling him against him and shaking him.

"It was...was a king snake...it was the red-touch-black kind." Carl said having a memory of his dad's lesson when he was eight.

"Are you positive?" Negan asked, still not convinced.

"Yeah. Been camping before, remember? With dad..." He replied, falling over into his lap.

"I know, but I don't know your dad or how knowledgeable he is on the wilderness." Negan said letting him rest there while he tried to figure out why Carl was so loopy if he hadn't been poisoned.

"Carl, do you- keep your eyes open for me! Carl, do you remember what happened after the snake bite?"

"Umm..." Carl mumbled, resting his head on his arm. "I tripped...and..." He raised a hand to touch the back of his head and whimpered and negan was relieved.

"You have a concussion." He said without doubt.

"Concu-?" Carl tried to ask while holding his stomach. "I feel sick."

"Take deep breaths, stay awake for me." Negan gently leaned Carl back against the tree and moved to get the brighter lantern from his pack, talking to him to keep him alert.  
Once he switched it on, he could see Carl much clearer and knelt down beside him again, cupping his cheeks in his hand.

"Look at me, Carl."

Negan stared into his eyes as he checked for dilated pupils.  
Carl's looked pretty normal so he felt better about letting him rest.

Negan pulled out the blankets he had and made a makeshift bed down closer to the fire pit.   
Since he had no tent with him they were going to have to manage and hope that the weather was better than last night.

"Hey," negan said softly, urging Carl awake. "Go ahead and lay down and rest for awhile. I'm just gonna get us set up here for the night."

Carl nodded and crawled over to the pile of soft covers and snuggled up in them, careful not to lay on where the bump was on his head.

Negan smiled, watching the boy.  
He looked so precious falling asleep and cuddling down in the blankets.

He wanted nothing more than to go lay next to him.  
Hold him and protect him from everything that seemed to keep hurting him.

 

\-----

 

"Did negan say anything else?"

Simon shook his head at Dwight.

"No, just keep Anderson in there until he gets back. I've got my radio if you need anything."

Dwight nodded.

"Where will you be?"

"I've gotta guard beth Greene's cabin tonight."

"Alright, I'll keep an eye on Anderson."

Simon headed off then, satisfied with Dwight's ability to keep their 'favorite' camper from getting away.

He couldn't worry about it now.  
He had to get back to his cabin to get ready to head up to Beth's for the night.

 

\-----

 

Negan swore he would never forget the look of fear and then relief on Carl's face as he stepped back through the bushes and over to him.

"You OK?" He asked, going right over to him.

Carl had a hand wrapped around Lucille and let go as soon as negan was by his side.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Negan shook his head.

"I left her there for you in case you needed her."

Carl watched as negan went to grab his bag before sitting down on the blanket next to him.

"How do you feel?"

"Better, I guess."

"Would you mind taking off your shirt so I can look at that bite?"

Carl didn't answer just began undoing buttons and negan had to look away as he did.  
He couldn't watch Carl in the act if undressing without falling into another fantasy.

He tried to focus on the task at hand instead of how fit Carl's abs were as he rubbed a disinfectant cloth over the two little marks.

"I know you're ok...I just want to make sure."

Carl gave him a small smile as he worked and then covered it up.

"We still never got to put ice on those ribs but I see you took my advice." He nodded at the discarded shirt.

"Yeah, that's much easier to get on and off." Carl replied.

"I checked your bag out while you were asleep. There's no snakes in it."

Carl wasn't sure why he found that so funny but he laughed and thanked him.

"My hero." Carl teased and negan chuckled, avoiding his eyes as it occurred to both of them how true that really was.

"I don't know how it even got in there to begin with unless it crawled in there yester-"

"It was Anderson." Negan revealed. "He told me he put the snake in there but he thought it was Coral snake I guess. I'm just thankful that he's a complete idiot and doesn't know how to tell one from the other. For once his stupidity saved your life instead of putting you in danger."

Carl chuckled.

"Well, thank god for him being an idiot then." He said, reaching for his bag. "I've got clean clothes in here, I'm gonna change since I've still got stains from that food fight."

Carl moved to get up and negan told him he wouldn't look, he didn't have to leave.

"I don't really mind." Carl said, his cheeks burning. 

Negan didn't turn around but he acted like he was preoccupied with their small fire.

"And don't remind me about that mess! I had enough to deal with today."

"I know. That's why I didn't ask you to come with me when I thought I was looking for beth."

Carl sighed, feeling better in a set of clean clothes and watched negan for a moment.

"Carl, you know I would've come with you." Negan said, catching his gaze.

"I know." He replied. "That's why I didn't ask you."

Negan sighed, going silent again.

"Why did you leave Lucille with me?"

"I wanted you to be safe."

These silent moments were getting thicker each time.

"I got the impression you don't just leave her around."

"No..." Negan laughed wistfully, staring over at the lake. "I don't."

The taller man moved over closer to Carl and picked up the weapon, running his thumb slowly over the wire.  
Carl let him have the time he needed to deal with whatever memory was plaguing him.

"Lucille...was a person." He said, with a heavy sigh. "She was my best friend. She saved me even though I couldn't save her." 

"You don't have to tell me," Carl spoke when he paused. "But if you want to, then I want you to."

Negan took Carl's hand and placed it on Lucille before wrapping his own hand around his.

"She was beautiful and...funny and could make you smile even at the worst times. She had a vibe around her that was pure but tough and you just couldn't break through it. Your friend beth reminds me a lot of her except she was dark haired."

Carl smiled at the mention of beth.

"Lucille was the only person besides simon that I came out to when I was young. In fact, she wanted me and simon together but he's straight so you can imagine that didn't go over well."

Carl giggled, knowing that yes, simon was very straight.

"Wait, you all went to camp here?"

Negan nodded. 

"Yeah, same general idea but we were all younger than the kids I accept in. It was more for misbehaved, rude kids at the time instead of kids who'd been in and out of juvi..."

Carl seemed surprised but didn't ask questions, just let negan continue.

"Our...leader..." Negan's face turned dark and unreadable. "He was a...horrible man. He's... Why I took over and changed this place because I didn't want another generation to go through what those kids went through. He was vile...I can't even tell you..."

Negan closed his eyes and ran a hand over his forehead as if to wipe the memory out.

"I...was, when I was thirteen, I was a little devil. Not like anderson but I...wanted power and...control. I thought I was hot shit and could rule the world...not to mention my parents always had money so that didn't help my ego either."

"At least most of that explains the leather jacket." Carl said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, that and the motorcycle that's parked in my garage at home."

Carl raised his eyebrows, "well, now I think you're just trying to impress me."

"Maybe I am..." He grinned devilishly at the younger man. "But its true."

Carl smiled before he went back to the story.

"The leader hated me but he was obsessed with changing me and one night he cornered me to...question me and Lucille walked in and he threatened her. We both took off and instead of going after me he followed her all the way here..."

Carl knew this wasn't going to be good.

"He drowned her in the lake over there..."

"I'm so sorry." Carl whispered, laying his head on Negan's shoulder.

"I am too."

 

\-----

 

"Beth, what-?"

Beth giggled as she ran into Simon's arms after he pulled her in and closed the door.

"Darlin', you came all the way down here alone?" He asked pulling her tighter to him, trying not to think of all the awful things that could've happened to her.

"You're not happy to see me?" She pouted, tugging at his heart strings. 

Simon wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her as close as he could for a long over due kiss.

" 'course I am," he said, holding her close again. "Its just...this lock down...it's serious, Bethy."

She frowned, staring up into his brown eyes and nodded so sweetly that he couldn't bare to yell at her anymore.

"I know but...I wanted to be locked in with you." She smiled and his heart fluttered.

"I know, I do too. Which is why I was about to head up to your cabin." He bopped her on the nose.

She beamed, blushing as he took her small bag from her.

"But you're here now so make yourself at home." He grinned, trying to hide how torn he was.

He loved her there in his cabin but it really shook him that she thought it was okay to just wander around the grounds at night and alone.  
He barely heard her ask if she could use the sink in bathroom and gave her a quick nod, wondering if he should be honest with her when she came back out.  
He really didn't have another choice.

Beth could tell that something was wrong when she came back out and saw simon staring into space sitting cross legged on the end of his bed.

"Simon?" She looked at him nervously and he met her eyes, patting the space in front of him on the comforter. 

"C'mere, darlin', sit with me. I need to tell you something."

"You scared me. I've never seen you look like that before." She worried, crossing her legs to face him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to scare you. Its just, what I have to tell you is very serious. Its about this lock down." He spoke gently, taking her hands in his.

"I'm sorry I snuck here if that's what you're mad at me for..."

"No, no! I'm not mad at you." Simon leaned in to kiss her just to prove it. 

"Beth, while we were gone on the hike...there was a man spotted on the grounds."

It took her under a second to register.

"The security team thinks its the same man who was here when you were in the infirmary."

Beth shook her head, trying to crawl away, hide, anything to get away from this.

"Its OK, darlin'." He pulled her into his lap. "You're safe, OK? I am never going to let anything happen to you. "

Beth clung onto him as he rubbed her back before scooting back against the pillows and she realised this was the first time she'd been in his bed.

She felt safe and warm and she never wanted to leave.

And if Simon had it his way that's exactly how it would be.

 

\-----

 

"I love it here..." Carl said suddenly, grabbing the rest of Negan's attention. "Like...I could lay here forever and just look at the stars and the trees and be happy."

Negan took a good look at him and couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I mean...seriously. How do you leave when camp is over?"

Negan chuckled. 

"Sometimes I don't. Even with the bad memories, I still...stay."

"I don't blame you." Carl grinned. "and I know it sounds terrible but...it makes me forget why I'm here."

"That's not bad at all...that's natural." Negan assured him. "And you of all people, deserve to forget."

Carl glanced at him and negan turned back to gaze at the stars.

"I'm nothing special, you know that."

Negan gave him an expression that read: 'are fucking kidding me?'

"You're not serious?" 

"Yeah."

"You are amazing," Negan said. "You feel deep remorse for an incident that you didn't even cause. You came all the way out here to get stranded in the middle of the fucking woods at night just to save a girl that you've only known for about a month. You help out around the camp whenever you get the chance. You like me for what ever reason and I'm not very likeable, trust me...and not to mention, have you ever even looked in a mirror?"

What he really wanted to say was he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Carl laughed, trying to cover up his blush as he couldn't look at the man anymore.

"Why do you keep complimenting me when I don't deserve it." Was all he could say.

Negan rubbed over his forehead letting out a chuckle.  
It was the first time since yesterday that the man actually seemed happy.  
Carl grinned at him until the he turned and looked up again at the dark sky that was dusted with stars.  
Carl didn't want to pull him out of this rare moment of joy in his life but he couldn't take it anymore.

"What is it?" Carl asked.

Negan shook his head. "Nothin'."

Carl rolled his eyes, knowing him better than that.

"It cant be nothing. I've never seen you look so...happy."

Negan sighed, feeling like his whole world was about to come crashing down and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  
And strangely, he didn't want to.

Carl was met with silence and he knew from experience that he shouldn't press this particular matter.

They were in that quiet patch for ten entire minutes before words spilled from Negan's mouth.

"How do you tell someone they mean the world to you?"

Carl felt everything pause around him, the air, the fire, his heart.  
He wasn't sure how to answer that.  
If he was honest with himself he would admit it would break him if this wasn't about him.

"I don't know...." He replied, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Negan didn't move.

"How do you tell someone that they're everything you've ever dreamt of and more?" Carl followed up, boldly.

Carl didn't avoid Negan's eyes this time and so when he turned and their eyes connected, Carl stared right back.

Negan inched over to be closer to him if that was even possible.

"Usually with a kiss." He said huskily leaning down and it wasn't the stars either of them were focused on anymore.

"Good to know." Carl whispered back just as negan cupped his face in his hands and pressed his lips to his, moving them against his slowly.

Negan eventually pulled back, their foreheads resting together as they caught their breath and negan ran a thumb over his bottom lip.

"So soft..." Negan whispered, leaning in for another and another and another.

The second time negan pulled away, he took his hands off of Carl completely.

"We can't...I really shouldn't have done that." Negan protested.

Carl was afraid of this.

"Don't do this to me." He said. "Don't rescue me again and again! Don't come all the way out here for me! Don't ruin our amazing relationship just because it's 'wrong'! We should! Ok? Did you feel how good that was? Or did it not have the same effect on you that it does on me?"

Negan wasn't particularly shocked at Carl's passion.  
He knew he'd fight for this when ever they got this far because it had always been inevitable.  
He leaned back on the blanket, pulling Carl close against him, wrapping his arms around him to hold him as he lay on his chest naturally.

"You don't realize the effect you've had on me since day one." Negan mumbled against his ear and Carl had one of those grins, that just rocked his whole world.

"I've thought about you every single day since we met." Carl admitted, blushing.

"Well, isn't that just the most flattering thing I've ever heard."

Carl shook his head as Negan laced their fingers together while he still held him.

"Stop." He smirked at Negan's usual way of speaking.

Negan grinned devilishly as he brushed Carl's hair out of the way and couldn't resist leaning into press his lips against his again.

"Don't...stop." Carl whispered, hearing a deep, sexy laugh and warm breath against his mouth.

"You change your mind quick." Negan replied, tightening his hold on him.

"I could do this all night." Carl whispered, gazing into his brown orbs after he stole another kiss.

"Well, I'm a good bit older than you so I don't think all night is realistic but we can sure as hell try-"

Carl whacked him in the arm over his suggestiveness.

"You know what I meant."

Negan chuckled and shifted so he could press a kiss to Carl's exposed neck and licked his lips, checking out the view as he flipped them to lean over him as things got heated.  
He hovered above him on all fours, watching as Carl's eyes darkened and grew.  
The sight was something else.  
A lock of brunette hair was covering one of the big blues and negan balanced himself on one hand and brushed the hair out of the way with the other.

They stared into each other like that for what seemed like forever as negan straddled him.  
It was intoxicating, knowing that they were very much alone.  
There wasn't anyone for a couple of miles and negan could do anything he wanted to the boy.

That's what stopped him.

Negan swung his leg over so he could lay down and cool off which was going to be difficult enough laying next to Carl.  
He knew that from experience.

Carl seemed shocked and didn't say anything as he lay beside him.  
Maybe he should be honest with him.

"Carl, that was...too much, too soon." He said, scratching his beard for something to do.

"If you say so." Carl said rolling over to try and get him to kiss him again.

He felt Carl's hardness through his pants, resting against his thigh and he could barely breath while trying to will his own to go away.

"Let's just lay here and...enjoy this."

Carl smiled, tucking an arm around his waist as negan wrapped him in a hold that made him feel safe.

"I like the sound of that." Carl said taking a deep breath, resting his head on his chest and even though he was planning on watching the stars again and feeling negan beside him, he was out in minutes.

Negan knew that showed how much Carl trusted him.

It should've made him feel better but it didn't.

He wasn't sure if Carl should trust him because he wasn't completely sure he could trust himself.


	16. If I hadn't

Negan smiled to himself as it didn't take him long to realise Carl was still in the same position, in his arms, resting against his chest.  
He wasn't surprised, Carl had been wiped out last night and when they fell asleep he suspected that he wouldn't move much with the way his arm was clamped around his waist.  
Negan really didn't want to move either and he knew now that he had him he didn't think he would ever be able to let go.

He loved watching him sleep because Carl hardly ever looked peaceful otherwise and he knew none of his problems were bothering him when his eyes were closed.  
He literally would lay there all day if that's what Carl needed.

Now, more awake, Negan's thoughts came flooding back and he quickly remembered their kiss.  
They shouldn't have done that-  
No.  
He shouldn't have done that.  
He didn't blame Carl even though it was his perfect lips that made him give in.  
Not to mention how stunning he was.  
And his wonderful mind.  
And, god, that smile...

Negan sighed, knowing he was in deep already.

He couldn't do this to Carl.  
He couldn't take advantage like this.  
He was the adult.  
He had to stop this before it was too late...

Negan glanced down again at Carl as he felt him shift and sigh in his sleep and negan groaned internally, knowing he'd never be able to push him away now.

Carl must've felt all his inner turmoil and began to stir in his arms.  
Glancing up at the man he smiled, thinking for a moment that he was still dreaming.  
He could tell, after he rubbed his eyes, that the man had probably been awake for a bit.

"You should've woken me up." Carl said, stretching against negan.

"You needed the rest." Negan offered, absentmindedly running a hand through Carl's hair.

Carl smiled up at him again before covering his eyes from the bright sun.

"Do you still have a headache from the concussion?" 

"Yeah, a little..." He replied though it was muffled.

Negan sat up and dug through his bag for a bottle of water and the ibuprofen.

"Take 'em, besides they'll help your ribs heal better too, remember?"

Carl uncovered and gladly took them as negan began to pack up.

"We really need to head back," negan said as he grabbed the flashlight and lantern they didn't need anymore. "But, let's eat something first, all I got is bags of chips."

Carl chuckled as he caught the bag negan tossed at him.

"That's fine with me."

 

\-----

 

Simon groaned as he heard his radio go off on the bedside table.

He didn't want to move from his position with his arms around beth.  
She was beautiful, sound asleep and she didn't deserve to be harshly woken up like that.

He couldn't not answer though because Dwight would just keep calling.

"Heard you, D, over." Simon said into the speaker as low as he could but beth began to move anyway.

"Simon, I need you to get down here, you got the keys to the mess hall."

Simon gave a heavy sigh.

"Alright... Be there...when I get there." He replied before turning the thing off.

"Hi." Beth smiled as she stretched against Simon, making him wish he didn't have to leave in a few minutes.

"Good morning, darlin'." He said gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry."

"Its OK, I like waking up to your voice."

He couldn't help but smile at her until he remembered that he had to go.

"I have to go take care of something since I'm in charge until negan gets back with Carl."

Beth frowned.

"What if he doesn't?" She worried.

"He will. Carl's a tough kid. I'm sure he's fine." She smiled sadly at him as he slid out from under the covers and slipped pants on as beth tried really hard not to watch.

"Look all you want, bethy. I don't mind. I have nothing to hide from you."

She giggled, covering her embarrassment with the sheets.

He sat back down beside her in the bed and she uncovered her face to look at him again before he left.

"Please, please stay here." He said. "I will be back as soon as I can and I'll walk you to your cabin, OK? I'm going to lock the door when I leave and don't open it to anyone but me. We don't need anyone finding out you spent the night in your counselor's bed..."

She giggled, sitting up and he grinned devilishly before giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"It sounds sexy when you put it like that." She said, surprising him since he'd never heard her talk like that before.

"I think it was." He teased, standing up and going over to the door. "I'll see you soon."

She grinned as she snuggled back under the covers that smelled so much of him that she almost felt like he was still there with her.

 

\-----

 

Carl wasn't sure what to think as he and negan had been on the path back to the camp grounds for at least ten minutes and he'd barely said a word.  
He hadn't kissed him when they woke up or hardly even met his eyes.

He could tell negan probably wasn't the flower and chocolates kind of guy, Carl wasn't expecting anything like that anyway.  
Sure, he'd never been in a relationship before but he thought the person that liked you wanted to show it somehow.

Maybe negan didn't really want him.  
Or in the light of day, realised he was too young or not what he thought at first or...

Maybe he was second guessing them being a couple.

 

They were about half way back to camp now when negan noticed Carl looking distant and unhappy.

"So...I'm glad that wasn't a poisonous snake." Negan said to break the tension and Carl turned to look at him oddly but ended up laughing.

"Yeah, me too."

Negan draped his arm around him and Carl's heart sped up a bit.  
He was hoping he'd kiss him then but the taller man didn't attempt so neither did he.

"Carl...we really need to talk abou-"

Carl paused.

"We only just had our first kiss a few hours ago and we already 'need to talk'. This can't be a good sign..."

Negan paused, cracking up and pulled Carl closer to him.

"No," negan sighed, his eyes locking with his. "Listen, I just wanted to talk to you about...where are we going from here?"

"I don't have a damn clue." Carl shrugged. "You...you're my first kiss, so?"

Negan rubbed a hand over his face as he fought with himself internally.  
Carl deserved so much better than him.

"I'm...honored, Carl." 

He was.

"It's just...I'm," he paused to think about it, immediately wishing he hadn't. "Thirty years older than you. Not only is this illegal but I'm your camp counselor! We can't just act like other people are going to be OK with this!"

"I'm not," Carl said, grasping the arm that was around his neck. "Not that I'm not beaming with pride that I've managed to get someone like you, because I am. I just...do you think I want everybody knowing what's important to me when I have people like Ron Anderson trying to kill me? He might put a snake in your bag next time and it might be for real then! I can't deal with that!"

"I can handle Anderson." Negan said waving Lucille around before leaning in to press his forehead on Carl's. "I just couldn't take the thought of you being upset with me. And I didn't want you to think that I'm not proud of us being together, because I am."

"Is that what we are?" Carl grinned. "Together?"

Negan pressed his lips to his in a quick kiss.

"Yeah...I'd say so."

Carl breathed a sigh of relief to hear him say that.

"I kinda like the thought of sneaking around while were here." Carl blushed. "And that's the thing, I don't even think of it as sneaking around really, I think of it as...no one else needs to know but you and me."

 

\-----

 

After simon left, beth couldn't really fall back to sleep.  
She was way too worried about Carl and if negan found him.  
The other thing was all this chaos surrounding the creep that was sneaking around.

She shivered at the thought just as the door opened and she jumped, sitting up in bed.

"Sorry, darlin', I didn't mean to scare you."

Beth breathed deeply but grinned at simon as he came over and sat down with a tray of food.

"Pancakes!" She beamed. "They're my favorite!"

"I made them myself." He boasted making her giggle.

"That's why you were gone so long." She teased, bumping shoulders with him.

"No, I was gone so long because no one can do anything right except me and negan."

Beth giggled even though it wasn't funny for him.

"I'm glad you're amused." He said, shaking his head.

Beth stuck a forkful in her mouth as he pulled her back to rest against him.

"I have to walk you to your cabin after this..." He sighed.

"I know." She said. "But I'm glad I got to spend the night with you."

"Me too." He replied. "And tonight I'm going to come stay at your place."

Beth squealed happily.

"Really? I mean...I might have plans..."

"Oh, well...that's disappointing."

"Yeah, I have a date."

"With who?!" He almost yelled getting jealous even though he knew he shouldn't.

"This handsome guy." She replied, resting a hand on his chest where his shirt was open.

"Tell me more."

"He's got dark hair and...a mustache." She whispered and if they kept this up than she wouldn't be going anywhere and he would be ignoring his work to show her how it really felt to be loved by him.

He leaned in to kiss her gently tasting the maple syrup from the pancakes on her lips.

"That description sounds familiar." He chuckled.

"I'd hope so." She said shoveling in another bite. "Just look in the mirror."

 

\-----

 

Carl couldn't deny that he was disappointed when he recognized the pathway back to camp.  
He knew that meant he and negan had to separate and he just wasn't ready for that yet.  
They had just became official and he wasn't out of the bubbly, excited stage yet.  
Not that he was going to let negan in on that.

Sure he told negan he was OK with not telling the whole camp but on the other hand if negan had said they should hide away in the woods together for another day he would've been thrilled.  
He understood that negan was important to the running of the camp and because of that the preferred version of their day was not an option.

"Almost home..." Negan said as he began to slow down.

He removed his arm from around Carl as if to say they needed to get used to this now.

"Yeah," Carl frowned, stopping to kick a rock in the path as if that would stop the sad, awkwardness that was falling over them.

"I...want to see you tonight." Negan said, taking his hands. "I'm gonna be really busy today but maybe we can talk later or...something?"

Carl blushed involuntarily, giving him a cheeky smile.

"Yeah...I'd like that."

Negan chuckled, leaning in for a kiss and after a moment they forced themselves to separate and headed through the opening of the forest, back onto the camp grounds.

"Negan!" 

Both of them looked over to see simon jogging over and he patted negan on the shoulder before offering his hand to Carl.

Carl smiled at him and shook it.

"Glad to see you both back and in one piece." The mustached man said. "You OK, Carl? Uh, what happened with the," he made a wavy pattern with his hand to symbolize a snake as he glanced at negan.

Carl chuckled as negan answered for him.

"For once I'm thankful for Anderson being an idiot, it was just a king snake."

Simon laughed too.

"Well, that's a relief!" 

Negan nodded and just as he was about to tell Carl to head back to his cabin, sherry came out from the main office in a panic.

"Good to see you back Mr.negan." she greeted. "But we're having a bit of an issue."

Negan told Carl to stay put while he dealt with this.

Carl felt awkward standing there alone with Simon, knowing about him and beth.

"So..." Carl tried, not wanting to be rude.

"Yep..."

Both of them were not sure how to deal with each other at the moment but they also both wanted to eavesdrop on Negan's conversation.

 

"-calling for him!" Sherry screamed pointing at Carl while negan tried to shut her up before Carl heard.

"I told you no calls!" Negan warned with a finger.

"The man is going to show up here, Negan!" She cried and Carl and simon shared a look. "He's threatened us if we don't let him talk to Mr.Grimes!"

Carl couldn't pretend like he didn't know what was going on anymore.  
This was about him.  
This was about Shane.

"I can handle this! Let me talk to him and I'll put him in his place!" Negan yelled as sherry gestured with a head toss at Carl who was standing right behind him.

"No." Carl said. "Let me."

"No. I've already told my staff I'm not letting calls through from anyone to anyone!" Negan replied.

"Ne-"

"You are NOT talking to him!" Negan snapped and Carl was taken aback. He'd never been spoken to by him like that before.  
He wasn't afraid, he was just frustrated.

"This is my camp!" Negan solidified. "I make the rules! There is no way I'm letting you talk to him!"

"He's my godfather!" Carl yelled back and Simon and Sherry stood by in utter disbelief.  
Campers didn't speak that way to their boss and when they had they never saw them again after that.  
Watching these two though was nothing like they'd ever seen before. It was like seeing two equals instead of a camper and leader.  
Carl was giving back as good as he got from Negan and neither was backing down.

"That's who's on the phone right? Shane Walsh?" Carl locked eyes with sherry and as negan dared her to tell him the truth, Sherry closed her eyes tight and answered; "Yes."

"Then I'm talking to him." Carl said, turning back to look at negan. "I won't let him come here and screw up your camp because of me!"

He started walking away, towards the main office.

Negan felt a desperation inside as Carl began to head for the office.  
The thought of him having to deal with that horrible man was crushing him and he didn't know what else to say or do.

"Carl, If you disobey me then...I won't help you! You made your decision!" Negan yelled in anger.

Carl paused as he felt the stinging pain of hearing negan say he'd give up on him but he couldn't let Shane ruin anything of someone else's when this was all him. He kept walking then ignoring the inner pain he felt because of it.

He held back the burning wetness around his eyes as he jogged up the steps and into the main office to see the blonde Secretary arguing quietly on the phone.

She seemed upset until she looked up, surprised to see him and told the person who was probably Shane to 'please hold'.

"Is-is that for me?" He asked, pointing at it.

Amber nodded.

"Put him through. Negan knows I'm here."

Carl headed into the room where he'd spoken to his mom what seemed like days ago and waited for the light on the console to blink before taking a steadying breath and picked up.

"Hello?" He answered firmly, letting the other man know this was not going to he a friendly conversation.

'Where the hell have you been?' Shane's annoying voice replied.

"Here...at camp." Carl said back, rolling his eyes.

'I've been trying to fucking call you!' 

Carl sighed.

"I've been busy. What do you want, Shane?"

'What have I told you before about respectin' me! I could end your life so fast it would make your head spin!'

Carl was silent as he realised what his threat meant for him and his new life with negan but then again the likelihood that his relationship with him was over, was pretty high so what did it matter.

'Look, brat, I just wanted to make sure you were still staying in line? You aren't thinkin' about telling anyone are you? Made any friends you'd like to spill to?'

"No, Shane." He spoke, hoping Shane couldn't read his mind.

'Uncle shane to you!' He said, cracking up making Carl feel nauseous.  
He was really sick of his immature, controlling, ego feeding ways.

"Is that all?" Carl asked. "Their trying to shut the lines down here because we're having some sort of lockdown. Sorry, but you won't be able to contact me for a while."

'That's true?!' Shane huffed. 'Thought it was just the whore at the desk makin' up shit so she didn't have to deal with me.'

"She's actually doing her job, 'uncle' Shane...like you should be doing right now."

'Don't you dare speak to me like that! The only reason you're not worse off for this crime you committed is because of me and my job!'

"And dad!" Carl replied confidently.

'Your dad should've...never mind. Remember, I own you!'

And with a click, he was gone, leaving Carl to dwell on their conversation.

 

\-----

 

Simon wasn't surprised when he followed after his best friend into his office to find another coffee cup busted into a hundred pieces and negan beating the holy hell out of an unsuspecting ficus tree.

"FUCK HIM!" Negan screamed at the top of his lungs.

Simon just stood there and waited for the rage to fizzle out.  
With negan that could be anywhere from ten seconds to ten days to ten years.  
He had plenty of experience with the emotions he was displaying but this was definitely up there in the worst.

Negan destroyed another mug, a container of pencils and chipped a corner off of his desk before he was satisfied and turned to see simon standing casually in the door way.

"Yeah," simon shouted, throwing a celebratory fist in the air. "fuck him!"

Negan let out a long sigh and sat in the chair which thankfully missed his anger this time around.

"Who are we fucking?" Simon asked.

"Not for pleasure." Negan confirmed, trying to get the tension lines to leave his forehead.

Simon leaned on the desk beside him, breathing out a sigh of a different tone.

"That's a relief," said simon. "Because we never have agreed on that particular subject."

That actually got a laugh out of negan and simon felt a small victory.

"Simon, cmon, I can't do this right now." He said and simon could hear it in his voice, how stressed he was. "This isn't funny."

"That's exactly why I'm here." Simon patted him on the shoulder. "Because I knew you shouldn't keep this one to yourself. I'm your best friend. So talk. Who ever gets you this mad, well, then let me feel that too. That's what best friends are for, to take some of the weight off."

Negan hesitated, knowing he couldn't say much.  
He might be angry at Carl now but he would never betray his confidence in him like that.

"The man that was calling for Carl Grimes is his godfather." Negan began.

"OK, I got that much." Simon said.

"He is...a horrible excuse for a human being and I don't think Carl deserves to have to deal with him."

"And I assume there's more but you can't tell me because leader-camper confidentiality?" Simon asked getting only a nod as his answer.

"OK, so who do we hate..."

"Shane Walsh."

"Alright, we hate Shane Walsh. Doesn't sound too difficult."

Negan let out one last scream of anger before sitting up and putting on his leader face.

"OK, what did I miss while I was gone? Did the guy show back up? Where is Anderson, cause I wanna talk to him? How is beth greene."

Simon stuck his hands in his pockets, moving to pace the floor as he answered the questions.

"Uh...not much. I don't think the intruder came back last night but joey isn't exactly the best security footage watcher so you might want to think about that and Beth greene's good. I just walked her from breakfast back to her cabin."

That wasn't completely a lie.

"Anderson?" Negan reminded him.

"Anderson is still in lock up just like you wanted."

Negan nodded and simon knew that was his way of saying 'thank you'.

"Alright," negan stood. "Let's go get some shit done."

 

\----- 

 

Carl had never seen beth smile so big when she saw him walking up to her cabin.  
She took off out the door and ran down, jumping at him.

"I'm so happy you're back! And OK!"

Carl chuckled, hugging her too.

"I'm just glad that you didn't actually take off, into the woods alone."

"I can't believe Ron wrote that letter as me! I've never been impersonated before!"

Carl actually laughed at that as they walked up to sit on her porch.

"So...mr.negan came to find you?" She asked, beaming.

Carl nodded but didn't really want to think about him now.

"And was he wearing a shiny coat of armor?" She teased.

"Beth...c'mon?" He said. "I don't want to talk about him, OK?"

The blonde sighed, kicking her feet.

"Fine." She said seeing how sad he was.

Carl quickly changed the subject and before they knew it the sun was fading away behind the trees.

"I'm sorry you thought that letter was from me." Beth said hugging Carl again when they stood up for him to leave. "But I'm honored that you would do that for me. Go running off to rescue me like that."

"Of course I would." Carl smiled though it didn't reach his eyes.

"And you sure you don't want to talk about Mr.negan?"

"I'm sure." Carl said firmly, with a frown.

Beth hugged him again, loner this time.

"That's for what ever you're going through that you won't tell about."

"Thanks." Carl actually chuckled. "Hey, is simon coming to see you tonight? Cause I really don't want you to be alone."

Beth nodded, pink fading over her cheeks.

"OK, good." Carl said. "Goodnight, beth."

"Night, Carl." She waved going in her cabin and shut the door.

He slowly walked away realising that he had to go back to cabin seven since negan never assigned him a new room.  
He wasn't about to go ask him for that but it was killing him that they had their first fight and they were going to spend the night upset with each other.

Carl walked the path, as it was getting darker and he just let his heart guide him and he wasn't surprised at all when he ended up at Negan's door.

 

\-----

 

Now that the sun had set on one of the most stressful days negan could remember, his brain could only focus on one thing.

Carl.

He'd wondered all day what he was doing.  
What was he thinking about?  
Was he thinking of him too.  
Was he regretting the last 24 hours or was he only regretting the words they'd exchanged like he was.

Negan kicked himself internally but in reality he kicked his bed post, making him curse the furniture as he realised that he had managed to screw up probably the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Negan dropped onto his bed on his back with a sigh, running a hand over his hair and rubbing his eyes, wishing he could just do the same with his problems.

Just wipe them away.

Part of him was eatting away at his reserve, saying; 'go find Carl.'  
The other part was stubborn, saying; 'Carl was the wrong one! You were trying to protect him!'

The words he'd said to Carl hurt him, he was sure, as much as they hurt him to say.  
He couldn't believe he'd even said he'd give up on him.  
He didn't mean it.  
He wished he could take it back.  
He wished-

Negan sat up as a knock came from his door.

"Go away, simon!" He yelled, knowing it had to be him.

Another knock.

Surely something else hadn't happened to add to the hellish day.  
He didn't think he could take anything else right now.

With a sigh, negan stood and threw open the door, giving the person on the other side, the worst possible look, changing it immediately when he saw who was standing there.

"Carl?"

"...Hey."

Both of them seemed to be frozen in place, staring at the other.  
Neither knowing how to move past this wall they'd been building all day.  
This was their first fight when one of them was terrible at reconciling and the other one had never had to.  
They both could agree on one thing at this moment.  
This feeling of loneliness and harsh tension had to stop.  
They'd each felt that before but not after they met and they never wanted to feel that again.

Negan gestured silently for Carl to come inside and as soon as he shut the door he blurted out the words he never thought he'd be able to say.  
The words that, because he never could swallow his pride and say them, ruined all his past relationships.

"I'm sorry." He said, grasping gently under Carl's chin to make him look him in the eyes. "I am so sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for hurting you. I never meant to."

Carl wasn't sure how to reply.

How did he explain to him how what he'd said hurt him so much.

Negan took his hand and guided him over to the wooden bench by the front window so they could talk better.

"I'm sorry too." Carl said. 

Negan shook his head.

"No. Don't...do that. Don't just say that because you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I do though. You were trying to protect me from Shane when no one has done that for me before. I am...I'm never going to be able to repay you for that and I'm so grateful. I hate that I caused a scene in front of your friends, staff, who ever they are...I'm just- I am sorry for that."

"Thanks...but what is important to me is you and you not getting hurt by your godfather. I didn't know you when he hurt you before but I do now and I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep you safe and out of this mess he's caused." Negan said, gently running his thumb over Carl's cheek.

"It was just a phone call," Carl shrugged. "And I wanted to talk to him because I...I couldn't let him come here and destroy your property, because he would! He would tear this place up looking for me if he thought I would disobey him. But I feel the same way, negan, I... Know you now, the stakes are higher and if someone wants to hurt me then it probably won't take long for them to figure out that you're the way to get to me."

"I told you before, I can take anyone...especially for you." Negan said cupping his face in his hands before leaning in for a passionate kiss that sent the butterflies scattering around in Carl's stomach.

Carl smiled shyly when he pulled away but negan had something else to say.

"It hurt me too to say those horrible things to you and I wish I could take them back." He said. "I want you to know that I didn't mean it and I'm not going to just give up on you like that. Ever. I couldn't."

"I believe you." Carl grinned, leaning in for another kiss. "I know you were just desperate for me to not take that call. I warned Shane that you shut the lines down for now so hopefully he won't try to reach me again for a while."

Negan smiled. "Good. That's good."

Carl watched negan get lost in thought for a moment and then he just chuckled out of the blue.

"I have your stuff." He said. "I saw you packed when I went to look for you and I didn't want Anderson messing with it while you were gone so I took it but I ended up locking him up anyway..."

Carl laughed too. "Thanks...I guess you really are looking out for me."

"Always." Negan grinned.

"I'm glad you have my stuff 'cause I really need a shower. I can just run down to the-"

"You're welcome to use mine." Negan blurted out. "I already had one and...I don't like the thought of you wandering around when we still don't know who's on the property."

Carl felt his cheeks heat up as his mind quickly filled with dreams of what it would be like if negan joined him in there.

"Uh, sure...thanks." 

Negan stood up so things wouldn't get too awkward and walked into the small kitchenette that Carl just realised was there.

"Have you eaten yet?" He asked even though he probably knew the answer.

"No...wasn't really hungry till now." Carl admitted.

"Hop in the shower and I'll fix us a bite."

Carl smiled. "Sounds good."

Negan returned the grin as he walked over to the stove.

"You like spaghetti?"

 

\-----

 

Beth grinned as she saw Simon coming up the hill to her cabin.  
She'd been waiting ever since it got dark and as much as she wanted to go find him or sneak down to his, she forced herself to stay there.  
She didn't want simon to show up and find her gone.  
She was safer here even without him anyway with the bar lock he'd installed on her door.  
Since she knew it was him, she opened the door as he got there so he could slip in quicker to not be seen.

He greeted her with a kiss and she giggled as he let go of her long enough to set his bag in a chair by the door and put the latch back on.

"I wasn't sure you were coming." She said, trying to punish him for being late.

"I'm sorry, darlin', I got caught up finishing off orders for Gavin and then I had to wait until the woman watching this area turned to patrol the other way."

She grinned at him and he realised she was just messing with him.  
He chuckled low as he leaned in for another kiss, deepening it by his tongue darting out to meet her bottom lip as he scooped beth up, her legs hooking around his waist.

A loud giggle came out of her as he carried her over to her bed and they both fell onto it, her eyes widening as she felt all of him pressed up against her.  
His eyes searched hers as she bit her lip, looking up at him.

Before he realised it she was undoing the top buttons on the long sweater she wore, revealing her ivory lace bra and panties and he swore he quit breathing for a second.

"Beth-" he attempted, closing his eyes so he could think properly. He was about to push away from her when she pulled him closer by his black T-shirt.

"Simon...I want you. I do." She said honestly. "I know now why I always felt like I should wait to have sex because I...hadn't met you. I've fallen in love with you. I trust you completely and I've never wanted anythin' more in my entire life. I almost had my first time taken away from me and thank goodness I didn't...For many reasons, but the best bein' that...I can give that to you."

Simon grinned at her. 

"Well, then I guess I don't have to ask if you're sure." He chuckled leaning into kiss her softly before she pushed her sweater all the way off as he removed his shirt over his head.

She watched him with such an innocent curiosity that it almost made him put a stop to this on the spot.  
But the second she looped a finger in his waistband and yanked him back down on top of her, all the guilt disappeared.

"Make love to me." She whispered as he began nipping at the soft skin of her neck as he ran his hands over the skin of her sides and grasped under her thigh, making her gasp.

He certainly intended to.

He wasn't about to rush this when they had all night.

 

\-----

 

Negan grinned as Carl came out of the bathroom dressed in sweat pants and a T-shirt, hair dripping all around the cabin.  
It was undeniably adorable and he just couldn't help but enjoy the moment.

"Sit." Negan offered as Carl came over from tossing his stuff on his pile by the door.

"I didn't want to leave the shower." Carl admitted. "I...can't believe you let me use it. The regular showers are never going to be the same after that."

Negan laughed as he drank from his glass which was not alcohol with Carl there. He didn't need it when he had him.  
He didn't need to forget everything, with him all he thought about was focusing on the moment.

"Don't pretend like you're not welcome to use my shower anytime you want." He warned and Carl looked stunned.

"Oh, thanks." He said, blushing as that vision of them both in there together hit him hard again. "I'll...remember that."

He realised then how good the food smelled and dug in immediately as he saw it was already dished up in front of him.  
Negan watched in awe as he ate and wondered if he was ever fed.

"Sorry," Carl said around his current mouthful but negan was clearly amused and took it as a compliment.

"Shovel away, I don't really care about table manners, I just...I wondered if you ever have eaten before because I never considered myself that great of a cook. Spaghetti is my specialty though."

"I eat!" Carl chuckled. "But if it tells you anything, I'm the best cook in my family and all I make is frozen dinners."

Negan shook his head.

"My dad's busy all the time and my mom..." He shuddered just thinking about her cooking.

"That bad?" 

"Her pancakes are just god awful...I can't even tell you how bad it is."

"Maybe I can make you more meals." Negan offered wanting Carl to know what he really meant by that.

"I'd like that." Carl smiled letting negan know he knew.

Negan dug into his own as he remembered something he was going to ask Carl.

"I really don't want to bring back any bad memories and you can tell me if its none of my business but what happened to your dad? You told me he was in a coma?"

"Yeah," Carl nodded. "It was on the job. He went to check out a call at an empty school with Shane actually and shots were randomly fired and the guy took off. They never found him."

Negan seemed lost in calculated thought but shook himself out of it when he realised Carl was staring oddly at him

"I guess I just felt like that all sounded familiar, I probably heard it on the news."

"They were there a lot, outside the hospital. I never wanted the news crews there but Shane milked every second of that, pretending to be the hero."

"Pretending? You know the more I hear about this guy..." Negan said through gritted teeth. "He's not coming this weekend, is he?"

"Well, I don't know if pretending is the right word...no, It didn't sound like he was coming." Carl said finishing his plate. "I think he's staying away from what ever my parents are going to tell me."

Negan nodded as he got up to take their plates to the small sink.

Carl glanced around at the cabin as he finally had a chance to pay attention.  
It was quite beautiful with the tall ceilings and large windows and the enormous bed across the way.  
Much larger than all the main cabins but still set up the same.  
He was still taking in everything and hadn't even heard negan come up behind him with a bag wrapped in a towel.

"What is that?" Carl chuckled.

"Ice." Negan said. "Go lay down on the bed."

Carl blushed as he stood and walked over to do so, reminding himself that this was just for the care on his ribs and there was nothing sexual about this.

Of course anything involving negan was automatically sexy but he tried to push that thought away too otherwise he didn't think he'd survive this.

Carl pulled his shirt off after negan explained to him how this would work and lay down at the foot of the bed.

Negan placed one bag of ice under his back and then another, more on his side and front.

"Is that comfortable enough for you?" Negan asked as Carl swore he would see his pulse racing.

Carl nodded not trusting his voice at the moment as Negan's thumb absentmindedly stroked gently on his skin where he held the ice in place.  
Carl could do that himself but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the man's touch.

Negan reached over, trying not to look too much at Carl's bare body lay out for him in his bed and ran a hand over another bruise he hadn't notice before.  
He really hoped for Shane Walsh's sake he never came to visit Carl again because there was no promising he'd leave here alive and well.

Carl surprised him by catching that hand and holding it in his.

"What did you do?" Carl asked caressing over the wrap he still had around that hand. 

"I got angry..." Negan sighed. "And stupid and I forgot 'lucille' was wrapped in the wire..."

Carl frowned and pulled that hand up to his lips and negan didn't think he'd ever felt that much love and care from anyone before.  
Not since Lucille and even that was different.

"You know how you feel when you see me hurt like this? I've seen it...I feel the same way when I see you hurt." Carl said.

Negan didn't know what to say to that.  
He wasn't good with this kind of thing.  
He wasn't good with love.  
Or the truth.

"I've never been in love," Carl said. "But I think I'm starting to know what it feels like."

Negan grinned down at him, leaning in for a kiss.  
Carl reached up, grasping the back of Negan's neck with his left hand as the older man deepened the kiss not stopping until he tried getting so close that he heard the crunch as he leaned on the ice pack on his chest.

"I'm sorry." Negan chuckled. 

"It didn't hurt...just made it a little colder but being that close to you was enough to make me warm again pretty quickly."

Negan couldn't help but smile as he sat up and away from him then, looking at the clock. 

"That's enough ice for tonight..." Negan said taking the one off the top and taking it over to put in his small freezer.

Carl frowned as he turned over to get the other one out and his shirt back on as he realised how late it was.  
He knew negan was probably going to tell him he had to go soon and walk him to his cabin.

"Thank you." Carl said as negan came back over to the bed.

"I've told you before,You don't have to thank me." Negan said reaching up to brush hair out of those beautiful blue eyes.

"Carl, uh, you know it's getting late..." 

Carl nodded, standing up and trudging over to get his stuff together.  
He knelt on the ground, shoving his dirty clothes in his bag as he felt Negan's eyes on him.

"...Stay?"

Carl paused, turning to look at him, wondering if he'd heard wrong.  
Negan stared back not wanting to repeat himself if that wasn't something Carl wanted.

"Are you sure?" Carl asked, standing. "I...don't want to be in your way or...anything."

Negan shook his head as he came over to him.

"Carl, you could unpack your stuff and put it in my drawers and eat all my food and use all the hot water and you still wouldn't be in my way."

Carl chuckled, smiling at him in the way that made him want to kiss him.

"OK...I'll stay."

"I'll get your cabin ready tomorrow..." Negan whispered as he leaned in for a slow kiss.

"Sounds good." Carl whispered back between his lips on his.

"I'm...gonna go put these on." Carl announced holding up his pajamas as negan forced himself away from Carl to go do up the couple of dishes.

"OK." Was all negan could say as he was trying to focus on anything but Carl getting undressed in the other room.  
He managed to clean up and get his own pajamas on before Carl came back out and now that they were faced with each other he didn't know what to say.

It was ridiculous right?  
They spent the last two nights together and now he didn't know what to do with himself?

Negan sighed as he had to figure out how to relax soon since Carl was back in the room.

The younger man didn't want to assume he was sleeping in Negan's bed with him so he stalled, pawing through his bag until he heard negan say his name.

Carl turned and raised an eyebrow at him and negan beckoned him over with a hand.

"Come to bed." Negan called and Carl knew he hadn't mistaken hearing that.

It was different crawling into a real bed, under real covers with him.  
There wasn't any reason he had to stay.  
It wasn't raining, they weren't out in the woods.  
It was just them and it was just because they both wanted to be there, together.

Carl settled in too far away for Negan's liking and he stretched his arm out to invite him in closer.  
Carl smiled as he moved over until he was laying in his arms like last night on the blanket, under the stars.

Carl looked up into Negan's eyes and was met with a deep goodnight kiss, his lips tingling from the familiar brush of the stubble on his chin.

"Carl..."

"Yeah?"

"Its...been a very long time since I've had someone in my bed...to wake up with."

Carl smiled shyly as he continued.

"I want you to know that I want you here. You're welcome here anytime. I still don't know how we deal with the outside world but I want to make sure you understand that you can come here when ever you want."

Carl leaned in for a kiss being the first one he initiated.

"I know." He said. "Negan, you've never made me feel like I wasn't your equal. You never looked at me like I was some random delinquent or like we didn't have respect for each other. I feel like as much as I don't like what Shane did or how he got me here, its one thing I have to thank for the situation I'm in. I spent so long wishing I hadn't gotten in that car that night but if I hadn't...I never would've met you."

Negan turned and faced Carl and pulled him as close as he could.  
Carl slipped his hand around Negan's side and rested it on his back mirroring the one negan had on his as their legs tangled together  
He felt negan brushing his nose against his, his warm breath against his cheek until negan leaned in for the softest kiss he'd given him.  
Negan pulled back just a bit, staring intensely into him.

"I'm so glad you survived it and I'm so glad you didn't actually do anything wrong. I don't know him but I know you know Shane would've done that with or without you so you gotta stop blaming yourself...But, yes, Carl, I'm so fucking glad you got in that car. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't know you. You scare the hell out of me because I tell you things I can't even tell myself...You've become everything to me, Carl Grimes."

Negan ended that with another kiss, knowing that was the only other way to make sure Carl knew he meant all of that.  
Some how, the way Carl kissed back was all he needed to be sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to post this one! I just really struggled through for some reason so let me know what you Like or dont like! :-)


	17. Family meeting

Saturday had never come so quickly for as long as Carl could remember.  
He had spent all of yesterday and this morning anxious over what his parents had to tell him and he hated that it had clearly put the brakes on things with negan.  
What ever this mysterious thing was his mom barely hinted at, It sounded personal and just wished that 1 o'clock would get here as fast as the day itself had.  
Nerves hadn't been an issue until now, as if the closer it got to seeing them the more the feeling crept up on him.

He startled as negan walked in and the older man smiled sadly.  
He could see and feel the tension surrounding Carl and he just wanted him to be able to relax.

"You didn't eat..." Negan prodded gently, placing a hand on his back and rubbing, being careful of the shoulder that was still healing.

"Didn't feel like it." Carl shrugged.

Negan hated that he was so distraught over this and hoped he could calm down once this family meeting was over.

"I'm sorry I wasted your food." Carl offered.

Negan chuckled in disbelief.

"You think that's what I'm upset about? Carl, I wanted you to eat to have some strength for today. And just like I told you earlier, I'm happy to sit in on your talk if you want me there. It's not unusual to stay if a camper wants me to." 

"Thanks." Carl said finally looking up at him. "But I don't think that they'll want to tell me anything with you there."

"You know I'll be close by."

Carl nodded.

"Alright, how about I make you some toast, will you eat that?"

Carl gave a small grin. "If you sit here with me."

Negan smiled too, his back turned to him as he secretly made him another egg too.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."

 

\-----

 

"You know, sometimes I wish it was just you and me here at camp..." Beth giggled as she brushed her fingers against his. "Is that silly?"

They were trying so hard not to hold hands when they were already pushing the boundaries by taking a walk together.  
Simon, having debating on a daily activity they could share where they didn't have to worry about being seen decided strolling was pretty safe.  
Simon invited her that morning when he came back, on a short tour around the lake before he had to be back to help negan and of course she wasn't going to say no.

"Not at all, darlin'. I feel the same way." He said, smiling sadly. "Do you know if your sister was planning on coming today?"

"I don't think so...why?"

Simon shrugged. "I just didn't want you to be bored or alone while I was busy all day."

"I'll find somethin' to do." She sighed to tease him.

"Now you're just trying to make me feel bad." Simon joked, grabbing her briefly around the waist.

"I wasn't! I swear!" She cried, laughing as he grasped her playfully around the middle from behind and twirled her, oblivious to the fact they were being watched.

"One thing we need to think about is telling negan." Simon said. "I can't keep this from him forever. The longer he isn't told the more angry he'll be. He'd rather hear that I'm breaking a rule then to be kept in the dark about something."

Beth looked terrified. "That's perfectly fine with me but I don't want him to hurt you."

Simon shook his head and stopped on the empty pathway.

"He wouldn't. I promise."

She gave him a small smile and he could tell she was still worried so he took a chance and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"It'll be alright, darlin'. I'll let you know when I decide to tell him."

 

\-----

 

It was obvious to negan that Carl was stalling as he sat there staring at the empty plate.

"Would you like some more? I'll make you some more if you want."

Carl shook his head.

"No, thanks. Sorry, I was...just thinking."

Negan stood, taking the plates to put in the sink for later.

"Is it something you wanna talk about?"

Carl shook his head again as he stood too.

Negan came over to him and pulled him into his arms.  
As much as he wanted to know what was going on in his head right now, he wasn't going to push him.

"Do you want to come down with me now or wait until your parents get here?"

Carl sighed, not sure what he wanted or what he should do.

"How about you stay here, just rest," negan offered "and I'll let you know when they show up."

Carl nodded on his chest.

"Thanks."

Negan kissed him softly, hoping he'd feel better after that and reminded him that he'd see him in just a little while.

Negan pulled on his leather jacket, wrapped one hand around 'Lucille' and placed his other hand on the door before turning back.

"Oh, Sorry I haven't been able to get your cabin ready, I'll do it tomorrow." He said as he left.

Carl smiled to himself as he lay back on Negan's pillows, curling himself around another.  
It's become almost a joke at this point.   
Negan had said that the last two days and when bedtime came each night, he invited Carl into his arms, under the sheets.

He was starting to think negan just wanted him to stay which was fine with him.

 

\-----

 

Simon went over and over in his head what he might say to negan.  
He needed to be honest with him.  
He hated keeping this from him anyway.

He could just come right out and say it.  
Or he could lead up to it and then reveal it.  
Or he could not be such a damn coward.

He wasn't afraid of negan.  
He was afraid of hurting negan.  
He didn't want this to come between them and he certainly didn't want to admit to breaking such a big rule when they were only at the end of the first month here.

When negan walked up, he had determination and was going to but when he opened his mouth, he just couldn't do it.

"Anybody show up yet?" Negan asked, not noticing his friend's odd internal battle.

Simon just nodded as he gestured inside.

Negan glanced over the families talking and those who's kids hadn't come down yet.

"Alright, radio me if the Grimes show up. I gotta go check in with the main office."

Simon chuckled as negan headed off.

"Will do, boss!"

Simon sighed, now was not the place or time to tell negan about him and beth.  
He didn't need that when he clearly had a full schedule today.

 

\-----

 

As soon as he got the call from simon, negan took off back to the mess hall.  
He wanted to get this over for Carl so he didn't want him waiting around if he could be seeing his family.  
He spotted them at the table in the corner where he told Simon to seat them and went right over.

"Rick Grimes?" Negan asked as he knew it had to be, he could see the resemblance in Carl.

The man in the button up dark shirt and tan pants nodded as he turned to accept the hand negan offered.

"Hi, I'm negan. I'm sorry we never got a chance to meet at the drop off. I usually have my right hand man do all that for me. Having one of those is important, I mean what d'you have left without him?"

Rick chuckled at the joke even though he didn't think this man was joking.

"I agree, Mr.negan. I'm Rick. Rick Grimes."

"No, just negan... We're all friends here, Rick!"

Rick laughed awkwardly again as the man shook Lori's hand too.

"Lori." She forced a smile and all negan could focus on was that she made god awful pancakes.

"Well, its a pleasure to meet you both. I'll go let Carl know you're here."

They thanked him but wanted to ask a few questions first and as they were standing there a tiny thing squeezed out from behind rick and Lori and attached herself to Negan's leg.

Lori leaned down and wagged her finger, yelling at her as negan picked her up gently.

"Its alright," negan grinned at the small girl. "Oh, my...look at this little angel."

"She's a little brat today." Lori complained gaining a glare from rick.

"With all due respect," negan looked lori right in the eye. "I highly doubt that's possible."

Rick couldn't help but gain a little respect for this man.

"I'm going to go get Carl, I will be back and we can discuss anything else you'd like to know." He announced, making a point to hand Judith to Rick and not Lori.

Judith cried out, reaching for negan as he left and rick tried to soothe her while Lori pulled out her phone to text.

"Is that really important right now, Lori?" Rick asked, voice low.

"It's Shane." She bit out as he fought to not blow up at her here.

She was just rubbing it in his face at this point when all he's been was nice to both her and his best friend.

"You act like he's gonna forget about you or something. Carl is the important one here!" 

Judith could feel the tension as their harsh words flew, making her squirm.

"You don't see me on the phone with-" Rick paused as negan returned and Lori got up and all but ran out the door.  
He rubbed his forehead to relieve the stress lines as he bounced the whining girl on his knee.

"I'm sorry." Rick offered. 

"Its understandable, Rick." Negan replied. "I called your son and he's on his way down...and I don't mean to overstep but shouldn't you two try to calm down and settle this before you speak to him together?"

Rick nodded. "You know, I'd really like that, negan but I'd rather not do this in front of her..." He gestured at the still loud child.

"I don't mind, if you don't." He offered holding out his arms to take her.

"Thanks. You sure?"

"She's adorable, of course I don't."

Rick handed Judith over and negan was right in his glory.  
She was absolutely precious.  
She quit crying as soon as she was in his arms and rested her head against him sleepily.  
Negan looked down at her as he cradled her, taking such care of this little one that Carl loved.

"There is no way you are related to the horrible man that hurt your brother." He whispered, patting her back.

Negan looked up as he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Carl standing there looking happier than he'd seen him in a couple of days.  
The smile he wore lit up the whole room and negan couldn't help but grin back.

"Judith!" Carl said, beaming at them together. "How did you end up with her?" He giggled, tickling her arm.

"Your parents needed a moment to...talk before they saw you."

Judith heard Carl and turned to him, reaching for her brother.  
She crawled into his lap and cried out a sound Carl recognized as his name.

"And they just left her?! So, they were fighting?"

Negan nodded, still feeling the obvious tension in Carl but grinned as he watched the siblings and how endearing it was to see Carl so parental yet how playful he was with her.

"I can leave you two alone." Negan offered.

"No." Carl said. "Wait till my parents come back. I like this...the three of us."

Negan smiled.

He did too.

Judith reached out for the stuffed elephant that negan was still holding but he only waved it in front of her.

"Nope. You can't have this. It belongs to me now." Negan said, tickling her under the chin with it.   
She giggled and reached for it again as he pretended to keep it away from her.

"I've never seen her like this." Carl smiled. "She must really like you."

"Is that true?" Negan gasped in a fake tone. "Do you like me, Judith?"

The young girl crawled over from Carl's lap back into Negan's and he handed her the elephant back.

Carl beamed. "I guess that's a yes." 

 

\-----

 

"I thought I told you to stay in your cabin," Simon chuckled roughly as he pulled beth behind a building. "You're gonna get me in trouble..."

Beth giggled as he pressed her up against the wall, kissing her deeply.

"Let's get in trouble." She teased him as he lifted her up, her legs catching around his waist. "Earlier you were gonna tell mr.negan anyway..."

"I am a terrible influence on you, darlin'... Letting you think that all this sneaking around is acceptable." He tsk-ed. "What am I gonna do with you?"

She gasped, feeling his hard length against her through his cargo pants and flashes of their intimate night the other night came rushing back.  
She was about to warn him that if he didn't take her back to his cabin, she would lose her mind but she didn't get the chance as they heard voices coming around from the trail beside the building.  
Simon set beth down and held his finger up to his mouth, warning that they had to be quiet.

 

"-and what am I supposed to do, Rick?!" The woman shouted. "You expect me to keep this to myself! He's my son too! He should know why we're not together anymore!"

"Lori, we are not together because of this," he gestured between them as they fought. "Not because of Shane! I told you, I have no problem with you and Shane!"

"Well, you seem to act like it!"

"No, I don't, Lori! You know that! We need to settle this for now! Today is about Carl!"

Beth and Simon both turned and stared in shock as her friend's family members were having a screaming match only a few yards away.

The man left and the woman stared after him until she just shook her head and got on the phone with someone.

Simon urged beth to follow him away from the scene.

"That was somethin'!" Beth whispered even though they were aways from the area where the dark haired woman still stood.

"That was Carl's parents." Simon said confirming what beth thought. "I feel for him."

Beth nodded solemnly. "Me too."

 

\-----

 

"I think she's asleep..." Carl whispered as negan ran a hand over the back of her blonde head that was tucked under Carl's chin.

Negan smiled at them both and took his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of them.

Carl grinned back, not moving so he didn't wake her.

"Did you take your phone out of hiding just to take that picture?"

Negan chuckled at being caught.

"Maybe...I'll send it to you later."

It was funny, Carl realized, that he had kissed and slept next to this man for the last few nights and they hadn't even exchanged numbers yet.  
The young man chuckled out loud, gaining a look from him.

"What's so funny?" Negan asked.

"I'll tell you later."

Negan didn't ask again as he noticed rick re-enter with Lori on his heels and he scooted away from Carl just enough to not raise suspicion.

"Dad!" Carl grinned and Rick smiled too.  
He may have been angry with Carl at first, when they dropped him off, since he still thought Carl caused the crash but seeing his son again was enough to make him forget about all that.

Lori pulled Judith up from Carl's lap and she started to cry again but rick embraced his son first, both happy to see each other again.

"I missed you." Carl admitted.

"I missed you too, Carl." He ruffled his hair and kissed him on the forehead, embarrassing him a little.

"I'm gonna go and let you all visit." Negan announced "I'll be around if any of you need anything. I'll see you later, Carl. Nice meeting you, Rick." Negan shook Rick's hand again and met Carl's eyes before he left.

Lori leaned forward and gave Carl a one armed hug as Judith reached out for Carl.   
He had no hesitation to take his sister back from her and sat down with her in his lap at the table as his parents sat across from them.

"How are you? How do they treat you here?" Rick asked.

"I'm fine, dad. I love the counselors, they're great. I get why they've been so successful in helping people."

What all that really meant was; 'I love being here with negan...'

"So you have made friends or..." Lori asked as her text alert went off.  
She ignored it this time along with the glare she got from rick.

"I told you on the phone the other day, I have a friend named Beth."

"You didn't tell me you talked to our son?" Rick asked, agitated. "I've been trying to call you." He added.

Carl smiled at his dad.  
He knew he was busy and tired a lot but it meant so much to him that he'd take time to call him.  
He wished he'd been able to get through.

"Well, there's only three lines and one day we went on a trek and we were gone for a couple of nights and then there was a safety lock down so that's probably why you couldn't get through."

"Lock down?"

"Yeah, uh, they thought there was someone sneaking around on the campgrounds so ne- Mr.negan upped his security."

"Well, I'm glad to know he obviously cares about you kids."

Carl smiled, he had no idea.

"So, what's going on at home. Nothing right?" Carl scoffed, trying to direct the conversation away from the leader.  
He knew what the answer was anyway.  
Nothing ever changed there.

"Well, nothing around town but...your mother and I do have something to tell you."

Lori glared at rick now, she hadn't wanted to jump right into this.

"I think if we're honest and you know then our visit will go smoother."

"Go ahead. Mom already said you had something to tell me."

Rick sighed, rubbing his head, tired of Lori and her going behind his back with things.

"Alright," rick began. "We're getting a divorce."

Carl stared at them for a moment, not completely shocked.

"Oh," his eyebrows raised. "Are you both happy?"

Rick smiled at his son while Lori looked confused.

"Yes," Rick said. "I think its a good decision and I hope you know, Carl, it doesn't make us love you any less. It's not a happy time for two people who have spent years connected but when they know that that connection is broken and its not meant to be then its a bittersweet thing. Its good to not hold onto the past and move forward with a different part of your life."

Carl smiled at them. "Then I'm happy for you."

"You know, Carl, I really thought you'd be a little upset or-or something!" Lori added.

"If being together makes you unhappy then I don't want that for either of you!" Carl said as Lori's phone went off again. "You know you're supposed to have that off during the family meeting!"

Rick didn't even chastise Carl for speaking that way to Lori when she should've known that to begin with.

"Look, I'm sorry, it's Shane. I have to text him back. You know he worries about me." Lori replied.

Carl couldn't help the disgusted look he had on his face.

"You're back together aren't you?" He spit out and Rick seemed surprised that Carl knew about them before now.

Lori looked up at him and her face softened.

"Yes." Was all she said before going back to her screen.

Carl shook his head. "I knew it! And I know Judith is his daughter!" 

He hated hurting his dad like that if he was unaware but he had to know for sure.   
He had to hear his mom say it.

"We already have discussed that, Carl." Rick said as Lori ignored them both. "She is Shane's daughter but that doesn't mean she's not your sister. You're still half siblings."

"I don't love her any less. I could never..." He replied holding Judith closer.  
He didn't blame her one bit and as much as he hated Shane, he would never regret his sister's existence.

"That's good. I love her too." Rick said even though Carl knew it wasn't the same.

"And mom, I have something to tell you too." Carl said glancing down at his sister to give him strength. If he didn't tell her now, he never would.

He waited until she put her phone away and looked up at him.

"I'm gay."

Lori stared at Carl for a moment, her face set.  
Rick cringed just seeing her reaction, knowing this wouldn't be good.  
She didn't even say one word to him, just stood up and walked out.

In all the times he'd thought about telling her, all the different scenarios he'd come up with, that wasn't one of them.

Rick reached across the table and placed his hand over Carl's.

"It'll be ok."

 

\-----

 

The blonde at the desk startled as Lori threw the door open to the main offices.

"Can I help you?" She asked timidly.

"I need to speak with the man in charge." 

"Um...ok, One second, I'll find Mr.negan."

The woman made a few calls and announced he'd be here in a moment.

Lori waited only about two minutes when the man in the leather jacket walked through the door behind her.

"Mrs.Grimes? What can I do for you?" He asked, eyeing her oddly for wanting to see him alone.

"I need to speak to you about my son." She said, not correcting him on the name.

The woman looked angry and on a mission and for a second all he could figure was that she knew about the relationship he had with her son.  
He never revealed his nerves though, gesturing her down the hall to his small office in the building.

 

"Have a seat, mrs-"

"Lori, just Lori is fine." She said curtly. "I want to speak to you about my son's... Preference."

Negan leaned back in the chair, his brow creasing.

"His...preference?" He asked, confused. "Like he likes blue versus green or waffles versus pancakes? Where is this going, Lori? I'm not sure I have time for trivial things like a picky kid."

Little did she know that Carl wasn't just 'a kid' to him but he had to sell his point.

"Not like that!" She shook her head, huffing and he could tell that she didn't even want to say what ever this was, out loud.

"What ever you have to say...please say it. I'm a very busy man."

That was partially a lie.   
He would take time for anything regarding Carl but not for Lori Grimes  
Right off the bat he didn't like this woman and he wasn't about to listen to her crazy problems.  
If this was legitimately about Carl, he would.

Lori drew in a deep, calming breath.

"My son just- he told me he's a...a homosexual." She shuddered.

Negan grinned like the mad man he was. 

"Congratulations!"

Lori had never given someone she didn't know that rude of a sneer before.

"Excuse me?" She blurted out, shaking her head. "No...Mr.negan, maybe you don't understand. I know some corrections camps offer programs to help these sick kids get rid of these crazy ideas-"

 

"No! Maybe it is YOU that doesn't understand!" Negan stood up, tapping Lucille on the desk in front of her, getting a thrill when she jumped out of her skin. 

"I congratulated you because your son is brave! You have a confident son! He is a bad-ass bold little spitfire that deserves to be treated as such. It shouldn't matter to you who he falls in love with! That person is his choice to be with! Not mine. NOT yours. Not his father's! His and his choice only! And that person will be a lucky son-of-a-bitch! Because your son is awesome! I have met MANY kids over the years who have come out to me before anyone because they knew their parents would react EXACTLY the way you just have! If I had kids, which I don't, but if they turned out to be half the person Carl is then I know I did a wonderful job as a parent! Carl being gay is his GIFT! He, thankfully, has accepted it and himself...hell, I wish I was as good at life as your son! You should be proud of him, not treating him like he's a threat to your suffocating normalcy!"

As soon as the woman slammed the door, negan didn't regret any if his words, but feared that he may have lost Carl.  
He wouldn't put it past her to pull him out of the camp.

He struggled to get up and not go straight for one of the beers he had hidden in the desk drawer.  
He couldn't, not when Carl needed him today.  
Not when he had promises to keep that he'd be there for him.

Not when he'd need him now more than ever.

 

\-----

 

Beth gasped as she walked back from where lunch was being served today, to her cabin and ran right into Enid standing in her way, arms crossed.

"Just the girl I wanted to see," Enid snapped. "My ex-roomate! Or should I say Mr.Simon's little whore!"

Beth's face betrayed her but she had to at least try and protect their secret.

"I don't know what-" she stammered.

"Oh, please! Don't even bother trying that with me! I saw you two all lovey dovey on the front path...it was disgusting!"

Beth looked down at her sandals. "You don't have proof! You think Mr.negan will believe you over his best friend!"

"You think Mr.negan won't believe it when I tell him that you and our older counselor shack up every night when he's supposed to be guarding you! You act all innocent, Bethany, but I know how this game works! I know exactly how you got Simon to crawl in your bed!"

"We're in love!" Beth shouted, tired of her crap.

"So he's told you he loves you?"

Beth was silent and clearly looked hurt as she stared at her feet again, realizing they hadn't yet exchanged those exact words.

"That's what I thought!" Enid smirked. "Sweetie, all he wants is sex. As soon he gets what he wants, if he hasn't already, he's going to dump you so fast your head will spin! And if you end up pregnant, forget it!"

Beth tried to shut her words out knowing deep down they weren't true but somehow they still stuck like knives in her heart.

"Are you gonna tell Mr.negan?" Was all she could manage to say.

"Not if you put in a good word for me."

"What?"

"Our 'leader' likes you for some reason...Put in a good word for me with Mr.hot stuff and I won't tell. That way I get to have some fun too!"

If she let her think she was going to do this for her begrudgingly then maybe she'd keep her end of the deal until she could warn Simon.

"Fine." Beth sighed. "I'll try my best."

 

\-----

 

When Rick asked about the camp and the things that went on, Carl didn't know how to sum up the last couple of weeks.  
He couldn't exactly say to him that he pined for the leader for the first two and then confessed his feelings for him the next.

"A couple of times a week we had lessons with negan where he just talks about life and then a lesson with this guy Dwight who's into drumming your problems away...but this week we were busy on the trek and stuff so we didn't really have any lessons, at least not ones in the buildings here."

Rick nodded. "That all sounds nice. And what about this person lurking around?"

"My friend Beth thinks he's after her. She thought she saw the guy and recognized him."

"You know if negan needs any police presence then tell him to call me. I know it's not my district but I can probably pullnsome strings."

"I will tell him but... He's very particular. He's got a tight knit group that do what they're told and he likes that."

Rick nodded again just as Carl decided he wanted to change the subject.

"Oh, and then this happened," Carl said, shifting Judith and lifting the right side of his shirt and the gauze patch to reveal the still pinkish snake bite mark.

Rick gasped and came around to Carl's side of the table to look at it closer.

"Carl?! What- how did that happen?"

Carl chuckled. "It's fine, dad. This kid that's been trying to cause trouble from the beginning was playing a trick on me and long story short, he thankfully didn't know the difference between a king snake and a coral snake."

Rick shook his head and pulled him into a hug.

"I should take you out of here..." He said and Carl internally panicked. "That's not a prank, Carl! That's serious!"

"No! Dad, I'm fine. Negan punished the kid for it so it's fine."

"Does he not mind that you just call him negan?" Rick asked suspiciously.

Carl blushed. "No, if he respects you and you respect him then he doesn't mind."

"OK..." Rick accepted that.

"So, have you met anyone else here? Besides this Beth girl? Any...boys?" Rick was trying. He really was.

Carl blushed bright red, giving himself away and he knew he couldn't lie to his dad now.

"How about I tell you if it works out." He said, liking his excuse. "I don't want to jinx it."

"That's fair. As long as he's not here for something major." Rick nodded. 

"No...he's... just misunderstood."

That was true.

"Carl, you know, I really don't want to dump all this on you at once but I have something to tell you too. I hope you're not angry. Or hurt..."

"Tell me, dad." Carl chuckled, hating the suspense.

"I met someone." Rick grinned.

Carl's eyes grew.

"That was honestly the last thing I was expecting." He replied. "I'm not mad."

Rick smiled. "I'm really happy. I've known this person for a little while now but with the divorce I felt free to...pursue things."

"I'm happy for you too." He said. "Hey, I'd like to meet her. bring her next time."

Rick was about to speak again when Lori rushed back in and grabbed Judith off his lap.

"Say goodbye to her."

Lori looked away as Carl cradled Judith's cheek and kissed her, trying not to tear up.

"I love you." He whispered to the small girl.

Lori was about to leave when negan walked back in and over to the group, seeing that they were about to go, blocking her path.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Negan teased and rick stood up and shook his hand again. "Carl, speaks highly of you, Mr.negan. I'm glad you've helped him through this tough time in his life." Rick came around and patted his son on the shoulder.

Negan grinned at Carl.

"Nah, I'm just the guy that feeds your kid spaghetti." 

Rick laughed even though once again, he didn't get the joke.

Carl did and negan didn't miss the tiny smile he was trying to hide from his family.

They all could feel Lori anxiously trying to get away as negan kept dragging up things up to discuss to stall so Carl could have more time with Judith.

As he played peekaboo with her Judith giggled and kicked and Lori placed her unceremoniously on the ground, getting irritated holding her.  
Judith went straight to Negan's feet and was lifted up into his arms instead.

"You are just the sweetest thing." Negan blurted out, making silly faces at her.

"Can you say negan?" Carl asked not caring that his parents were right there.

Judith babbled before spitting out a word that sounded like 'neg-neg'

"Well, I guess I gotta change my name now!" The tough leader replied and they all laughed except Lori who yanked Judith away from the man and announced it was time for them to go.  
She was on the phone before she even left the building as Judith cried all the way out the door.

Negan could see the heart break on Carl's face and it pained him to know there was nothing he could do about it right now in front of rick and the other families.

"Well, I'm afraid I have another family to speak with. It was nice to meet you, Rick Grimes."

"You too, Mr.negan."

"Just negan is fine with me remember?" 

Rick nodded. "I'll remember that for next time."

"Next time..." Negan thought about the schedule. "is in a week or if you can't make it, then the next week." 

Rick nodded again. "I'll put it in my calendar."

Negan headed across the room with a wave, leaving the father and son to say goodbye for now.

"I'm glad we got to talk today." Rick offered. "I've missed having another man in the house."

"You mean besides Shane?" Carl rolled his eyes.

"You know you mean more to me than Shane." Rick confirmed, kissing him on the forehead. 

"Before or after he and mom hooked up?"

Rick shook his head.

"Carl, you're my son. You always mean more to me than anyone in the world." He assured him. "and I'm movin' on too, remember? I know it's...strange that it's mom and Shane but I get it and I have no right to fight it when I've found someone else."

Carl put on a smile and for a split second wondered if he should tell Rick the truth.  
He wondered if he'd say the same thing if he knew what Shane did.

Maybe next time.

"Thanks, dad." Carl said, hugging him. "Thanks for coming. Love you."

"Love you too, Carl. I'll see you soon!" 

 

\-----

 

It seemed like the day would never end and all negan wanted was to talk to Carl alone, just the two of them and relax in the cabin.  
As he was finishing up their dinner he smiled to himself as Carl came back out into the main area, so casual now that this was his third night there.  
It terrified him that he could easily get used to this when they'd only known each other for a month and only awkwardly spilled their true thoughts about each other a few days ago.  
Carl wasn't complaining so neither was he.  
Maybe if he just continued on like this was normal so would Carl and he wouldn't want to leave.

 

"I always used to think family day was the easiest day at camp," negan said with a chuckled as he set the plates on the table and dropped into his chair. "It's not."

Carl chuckled too. "No! I never would've guessed." He said sarcastically.

Negan shook his head at him as he took a bite of the hamburger.

Carl was silent for a moment and negan was afraid he wasn't going to feel like talking much.

"I can't get over how much Judith loves you." He grinned as he sat across from negan at the table.

"Or how much she loves you..." Negan said reaching in his pocket, taking out his phone and pulling up the picture he'd taken of them.

Carl stared at it, eyes misting over before he had to look away.  
He didn't want to cry in front of the man.

"I'm glad you got to see her today." Negan offered.

"Me too." Carl beamed as he took another bite of the hamburger.

"And Rick's nice too I guess." 

"Yeah, I get along good with my dad."

"But your mom- look, I gotta tell you." Negan said, wiping his mouth with a napkin and sitting back. "She's not my favorite person....She tracked me down and all but demanded I turn my camp into a gay conversion camp to turn you straight again."

Carl scoffed. "Like I was ever straight to begin with!"

Negan smirked. "You're taking this better than I thought."

"When I came out to my dad first, I think it was because deep down I knew he'd deal with it better. I wasn't surprised when my mom said nothing and got up and walked away today. I don't need her to be supportive when I obviously have other people in my life that are...I just-I feel bad that she's so close minded. I don't want Judith raised that way but I don't want her to keep her away from me either."

"Yeah, I get that." Negan said, his anger boiling at the thought.

Carl took another bite as the conversation calmed down so negan did too.

"I take it you didn't tell your dad that you didn't do any of the shit that your godfather made them think you did."

"No..." Carl said firmly. "I don't know if I ever will." 

"Carl..." Negan sighed, tossing his napkin on the table.

"I don't want to fight again." 

Negan was silent for a moment. "Me either."

He took their mostly empty plates and put them in the sink and asked Carl if he wanted to shower first.  
Carl just shook his head no and went over to grab some clean clothes from his bag.

Negan hoped by the time he got out of the shower, Carl would be in a better mood.

 

\-----

 

"I thought you had a key?" Beth asked simon as she let him in, wondering why she found him sitting in the chair out front.

"I do." He replied. "But you're supposed to have that bar lock on and when you didn't answer the first time I didn't want to scare you by letting myself in."

She nodded to show him she understood and only barely kissed him back once they were inside.

"Hey," he knew as soon as he really looked at her. "What's wrong?"

She just shrugged, shaking her head as she went to curl back up in her bed, turning away from him.

Simon sighed as he dropped his bag about to come over to her.

"Simon, I'm fine. Just...put your stuff away like always."

She didn't mean to be so hostile but all the words and fears that Enid planted in her head were beating at the surface, making her anxious.

Something was wrong and he was so worried as he hung up his bag on 'his hook' and began undoing the buttons on his shirt.  
He stripped down to his tank top and underwear as his brain came up with anything and everything that could be upsetting her.

She tensed as she felt the dip in the mattress as he joined her and he gently placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing slowly.

"Bethy, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

He didn't realize until she flipped back over to face him and she was in his arms that she was crying.

"Enid saw us!" She wailed, shaking. "She knows about us! And she told me that if I would tell Mr.negan how great she is, she would keep our secret!"

Simon held her close to him, this was bad but he didn't think it was so terrible for her to cry like this.

"Its OK, darlin'. Listen, I can tell Negan anytime that we're together. I'm not going to let her hold this over you! And you could brag on Enid Nacon to Negan until you're blue in the face but it's not going to get her anywhere fast because he's only into guys and even if he wasn't he still would never want her!"

Beth giggled on his chest, wiping her tears, the ones that hadn't dripped onto his tank top. 

"Is that all this was about?"

Beth shut down again and sat up, away from him, drying more tears.  
Being here with him now made it seem like those horrible things weren't true.  
It's not that she was so naive that she didn't think men were like that, she just couldn't imagine Simon was one of them.

"I don't know... Enid also said somethin' else."

"What, darlin'?" He asked wrapping his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest.

"Are you serious...about us?" She asked, playing with his fingers that rested on her stomach.

"Of course I am." He replied, stunned that she'd think otherwise. "Beth, I love you! I love you so much. Since that first day I saw you covered in marshmallows!"

She beamed at him believing him now and feeling all of Enid's stupid words fly away.

"I love you too." She grinned, realising now that just because they hadn't said it before, didn't mean their feelings weren't true.

"Are you OK now?" He asked as she lay back with him against the pillows and nodded. "Good. There is no reason for you to doubt us...and there's no reason to listen to anything Enid says ever again. She's- I'm sorry, I know I'm a counselor and i shouldnt say this but...she's a crazy bitch."

Beth giggled on his chest, frowning quickly as she remembered something else.

"She said all I was to you was your whore..."

"What?!" Simon sat up and took off over to get redressed. "There is no fucking way- sorry for my language, beth! No way in hell that I'm letting her get away with that!"

"Simon, please?" She said, grabbing at his arm to stop him. "It can wait till tomorrow. Come back to bed."

He was so torn.  
Enid needed to suffer but hearing Beth's sweet voice asking him to 'come to bed' was everything to him.

Simon sighed as he removed his pants again and followed her back under the covers.  
As she gazed up at him, he knew there was no way he was leaving her tonight. 

Enid's punishment could wait until tomorrow.

Giving her a deep, gentle kiss he made sure she knew none of the horrible things Enid said were true.

 

\-----

 

Negan came out wearing only a pair of sleep shorts simply because it was one of the hottest nights he could recall.  
He glanced over to see if Carl had noticed or if it might make him uncomfortable, though he doubted it and saw him laying in the bed towards the middle, looking completely exhausted.  
Negan knew the week had caught up with him and he wasn't about to chat with him or wake him up for a goodnight kiss if he was finally asleep.

As soon as he came around to 'his side' to get under the covers he realised that Carl was definitely out.  
He was laying as close to Negan's side as he could get, still leaving room for him, eyes closed, mouth open a little.  
Negan smiled to himself as he slowly got under the covers and once he was settled with the lamp off, Carl shifted to wrap himself around him.

Negan reached over to the bedside table with his free, left hand where he had his phone in case Carl had wanted to see the photos of him and his little sister again.  
The man sighed realising both of them had wormed their way into his heart and quickly.  
Setting it back down, he rubbed his hand over his temples as he remembered the words Carl said to him at dinner regarding telling the truth about Shane.

_"No...I don't know if I ever will."_

Carl might not be planning on telling anyone but he wasn't about to let him go through hell for something he didn't do.  
He was selfishly glad that the ordeal had happened because it brought them together.  
But he couldn't lose Carl like that.  
Not now.  
He was going to find a way before these three months were up.

He had to get rid of Shane Walsh.

For Carl and for Judith.

Neither of these two angels deserved to be stuck with that horrible excuse of a man.

He glanced over at Lucille leaning on the night stand.

Maybe he already had what he needed right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who does everyone think is Rick's significant other? :-D   
> And do you think negan will ever make Carl go to his own cabin...I doubt it! ;-)


	18. The worst thing he'll do

Carl couldn't help but stare at the man's half bare body as he woke up with his head on Negan's shoulder and his arm around Negan's waist.

As he was becoming alert, Carl wondered if this was all just a dream.  
That was the only explanation to him being this lucky but as he watched the older man's chest rise and fall he was coming to terms with this wonderful reality.

Carl's lips turned up in a small smile as he slowly removed his hand from Negan's side and raised it just enough to let his fingertips run though the patches of hair on his chest.  
Seeing him shirtless by the lake was nothing compared to having the man right here beside him.  
Underneath him.

He hoped that negan would stay asleep for even a few more minutes because if he was caught in such awe over the man's torso he'd probably keel over from embarrassment.  
Closing his eyes, he let his fingers slide over the tattoo of the skull above his heart down towards the middle of his stomach where he forced himself to make a barrier.  
He was not going to let his hand wander any further than that while the man wasn't aware.

Carl watched himself again as he ran his thumb back over the skull as his palm rested against his pulse.  
The steady thrum was very calming to him as he felt so connected to the man it belonged to and after a moment he noticed it pick up.

Negan's right arm, Carl was nestled under, stretched from tired muscles before he moved it to run his hand underneath Carl's tank top, up and down Carl's spine.

Carl avoided his eyes as negan caught the hand on his chest and held it in place to assure that he loved the warm tingles it was giving him.  
It wasn't until negan turned onto his side and held Carl closer with both arms that he met his intense gaze.  
Carl's arm curled around to his back and he had to shut his eyes and reopen them to confirm this really wasn't a dream.  
He was awake and sharing this moment with him.

Negan moved his head forward, brushing their noses together, testing a tiny, soft kiss.  
Carl let out a contented sigh through his nose and if he had been concerned about morning breath he certainly wasn't now.  
Negan was quickly making all coherent thoughts and worries slip away as he pressed forward for another press of his lips on his.  
This kiss in particular making a spike of heat rush through him and up the back of his neck as Negan's tongue darted out to taste his lips and as Carl quickly got used to the idea, his own tongue as this was escalating faster than either of them were prepared for.

Negan groaned into Carl's mouth as neither of them seem to be able to get close enough to each other to satisfy the deep need inside.  
Suddenly, Carl felt Negan's weight on every inch of him and saw negan was hovering above him with hunger in his eyes.  
Carl's breathing was more than ragged as negan leaned down for another kiss before moving to nip at the sensitive skin of his jaw.  
Carl tried his best to stay quiet but as he felt negan move to right below his ear, he couldn't hold back anymore and let out a moan.

Negan growled against his neck, having heard that beautiful sound come from the boy for the first time but after that, it was like a switch flipped and negan scrambled off of him and over to sit on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.

Carl frowned, staring at him, wondering what he'd done wrong.

"I'm sorry..." Carl said gently, not wanting to offend him again not realising that was just going to make negan more upset.

"You have nothing...absolutely nothing to be sorry for." He said, reaching back to take his hand. "That was all me. Alright? I shouldn't have taken it that far."

"I'm not complaining." Carl pointed out, blushing.

"I know...I just- Carl, that could've very easily gotten out of hand and..."

Carl shook his head, stopping him there.

"That? That was amazing." He explained. "That is definitely my new favorite way to wake up in the morning."

Negan pressed his fingers to the spot between his nose as the guilt and stress was starting to overwhelm him.  
The things he could have and would have done to this sweet boy if he hadn't realised what was happening and his still hard dick was there to remind him now.  
He assumed Carl was experiencing the same thing and just the thought made him want to turn back around and continue where they left off.  
He had to use restraint though, he never wanted to hurt Carl like that.

Negan let out a long sigh as he had to deal with that, making Carl understand and all before he had to get ready for a meeting with his staff.

When Negan turned back to Carl, he wasn't helping with his big blue eyes, hair a mess from his fingers tangling in it and his tank top had ridden up enough to be considered a tease.

"How about we just leave it at this?" Negan said leaning in for a simple kiss. "Good morning."

Carl hesitated as he sat back against the pillows with one of those stunning grins that certainly wasn't helping matters either.

"Good morning."

 

\-----

 

"I'm sorry. I know I'm late."

Negan raised an eyebrow at his best friend as the man rushed into the meeting room in the main office.  
He wasn't about to reprimand him for this in front of everyone, especially when they had more pressing matters to deal with.

"You're forgiven, simon. Just...have a seat." Negan sighed gesturing to the empty spot beside him. "Now that we're all accounted for," he eyed simon. "let's get down to business. Gavin, you said you had a complaint?"

"Yeah, uh, I have had three boys sneak out this week alone and I think its because of this lock down. These delinquents, the more you crack down on them the more they're gonna try things."

Negan nodded.

"Yeah...but with this mysterious creep still wandering around, I can't take the lock down off yet."

Gavin agreed. "But what are we gonna do about the kids?"

"I mean where are they really going?"

"To each other's cabins."

"Then I'm not too worried about it. If its about someone wanting to switch cabins, fine. I'll gather the boys at some point and let them know we know this is happening."

"Alright, works for me." Gavin said as their leader turned to simon.

"Simon, I assume everything is going OK watching miss Greene's cabin?"

The mustached man, swallowed nervously. 

"Yep, all good there."

Negan thankfully moved on to Arat's question as simon shifted in his seat.  
She had most of the girls complaining about the hot water not being hot enough and negan just rolled his eyes.

"This isn't a spa! It's a camp!" Negan bellowed making them all jump. 

"Is that what you'd like me to tell them? It is going to get cold in the not so distant future...don't you think you can get the maintenance guy in here before then, just to take a look?"

Negan rubbed a hand over his eyes, wishing he'd stayed in bed longer even with Carl there to threaten his self control.

"I'll...Consider it." He offered.

Arat nodded, crossing her arms in defense as Negan stood then, making everyone nervous and brought the conversation back to the person lurking around the grounds.

"The way I see it," he paused. "Its time to get this guy out of here. This is MY camp! Something needs to be done!" He turned to simon. "You shouldn't have to spend the next two months sitting outside a cabin!"

"Negan, I really don't mind-" Simon protested.

It sure as hell made things easier for him and beth.

"Yeah, that's honorable and all but still," negan continued. "I'm going to talk to our security team next and figure out a new plan! I'm done with this shit!"

Negan walked out, slamming the door behind him and the rest of the staff exchanged looks, knowing the meeting was over.

 

\-----

 

"I bet you haven't told Mr.negan how you feel yet."

Carl sighed as his friend shook her head at him as their feet swung off the side of the porch, into the afternoon sun.

She was expecting a big fat no.

"Yeah, I did actually, and he...um, feels the same way."

Beth had never squealed so loud in her life and she threw her arms around him, unaware of hurting his ribs.  
He winced but half hugged her back.

"Really?!" She cried.

"Is it that hard to believe? Gee, thanks beth..." He rolled his eyes gently.

"No...It's just- you only hear about stuff like that in books and movies! Simon and I fell in love together. We both knew but you and Mr.negan hid it from each other and when one person pines for another, it usually doesn't end in happily ever after!"

"You act like we're getting married tomorrow!" He said trying to act like they weren't that serious. "We've only kissed...twice maybe." 

That was a lie.

"Then where did you get that, Carl Grimes!" Beth said as her wide eyes darted to his neck.

Carl's cheeks heated as he realised what she saw and he covered it with his hand.

"Is it noticeable?" He panicked. "It wasn't this morning!"

"That's how love bites work!" She giggled. "It's OK...I have some too. Simon's careful though so you don't see mine."

Carl hid his embarrassment in his hands.

"Did you spend the night with him?! You did! In the woods!" She figured out. "Where were you last night?"

Carl groaned out loud knowing he was caught.

"Well, right now I don't exactly have a cabin so where do you think I spent the night?"

Beth gasped excitedly.

"That's so cute!"

Carl shook his head as he realised he'd been there gossiping with beth for a while and he really needed to end this conversation and checked his watch.

"You're not in Dwight's class, are you?" Carl asked.

"Nope. I had yoga with ms.Regina this morning which is very strange and I don't like it. But atleast I'm off for the rest of the day." 

Carl chuckled. "Well, I'm gonna be late because I have drumming to get to so I gotta go." He said, getting up.

Beth gave him a hug and a smile.

"And you know I won't say anything about you and Mr.negan but...those might." She teased, poking at his jaw.

Carl shook his head and waved at her as he left.

He was definitely going to be late since he had to stop by the bathroom to try and cover up Negan's 'work'.

 

\-----

 

"There's Negan, go talk to him." Enid turned the blonde towards him and shoved her in the man's direction. "And remember, make it good!"

Beth gagged at the implications before she stared at the man across the way wielding the baseball bat and reprimanding another camper.  
She wasn't really afraid of him.  
She was sure he wouldn't hurt her but he was quite intimidating and what she had to say was at the very least ridiculous and unbelievable.

She couldn't let Enid tell him about her and simon though so she had to at least try even if this was going no where for the girl who was blackmailing her.

She waited until he was finished with the other kid and turned around to speak but when he did she couldn't figure out what exactly to say.

"Miss beth, How are you?" He asked with a smile and she was still silent as all kinds of things ran through her head; anywhere from the fact that this man gave her best friend hickeys this morning to; this was never going to work so why was she embarrassing herself...

"Did you need something, sweetie?" He asked, almost getting concerned now from her blank look.

It was then that she remembered that she trusted this man so maybe she could handle this a different way.

"I'm sorry, Mr.negan, I don't mean to bother you," she said, shaking herself out of her daze. "My head's all over the place...see, uh...Enid is over there watchin' me. She wanted me to talk to you."

He glanced over at the horrid girl but didn't stare. "Alright, I'm listening."

"She found out somethin' personal about me that I'd rather not repeat and told me that she'd tell everyone if I didn't tell you what a great catch she is and try to convince you to hook up with her."

Negan sighed, smiling sadly at her.

"I appreciate you being as honest as you could with me." He said. "I trust that you know its against camp policy for a counselor to have a relationship with a camper so she has no chance with me...not that she did anyway."

Beth willed her face to not turn red and nodded.

"If she asks I will be sure to tell her that you told me how hot she is, which she's not and how funny she is, which she's not." He paused as beth giggled. "If your secret gets out it won't be because of me but if she gets out of hand, let me know and I'll deal with her."

Beth smiled up at him, knowing she made the right decision.

"Thanks, Mr.negan."

 

\-----

 

Carl tried to completely avoid Ron Anderson as the boy sauntered into Dwight's drum lesson with his small group, minus Enid.

He hoped that if he acted like he wasn't even there the other boy would do the same, not wanting to be the reason trouble was caused for negan or his staff.  
Why negan even let the boy out of his cell was puzzling and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

His only focus now was this lesson.   
He wanted to be a good participant and not ignore Negan's friends like most of the camp did.  
He wasn't musically inclined or anything and never would be but Dwight seemed like a cool guy and he didn't have anything else to do so he might as well.

"I'm glad you all could make it today," Dwight said as he stood up from fixing a leg on a guitar stand. "Don't worry, today's lesson isn't going to be long, Mr.negan just wants to get everyone back in the swing of things for this next weeks lesson plan."

Dwight glanced over the room and mentally counted heads to make sure they were all accounted for.

"Now, last lesson I remember we all decided that music connects us all. We all agree on that, right?"

The whole class replied as Carl's eyes wandered down to where Ron was whispering to his friends.  
He couldn't help but get a bad feeling surrounding the scene and tried to shake it off as he focused back on Dwight at the drums with two campers.  
One on one side of the drum set and one on the other.

"Communication. Its key, believe it or not in lots of things in life. If you're not communicating then your relationships with your family and friends will get all out of whack...play a tune for me, both of you. At the same time."

The sound that made caused half the room to cover their ears.

"See if the two of you had just talked about who wanted to play what then you would've gotten a much more enjoyable result. If miss Marley told mr.Ford that she thought her tune should play first and then his, it would be more successful."

The class seemed to get the idea so he changed to the next lesson.  
Carl couldn't help but keep his eye on Ron and before he knew, the lesson was over and all the campers were shuffling out of the room and back out onto the pathway to head to lunch.

It didn't take long for Carl to realise that Ron wasn't in the group.  
He knew immediately that he must have stayed behind to cause trouble and ran back down the path and up onto the porch where the door was open and he could hear the commotion inside.

Ron paused after he dumped over the desk and laughed maniacally when he saw Carl standing there looking horrified.

"How could you?!" Carl screamed. "What did Mr.Dwight ever do to you?!"

"Exist." Ron scoffed, breaking a drum stick in half.

"Aren't you a little old for this?" Carl asked. "Don't you think it's about time to give this crap up? I mean, how long have your parents been sending you here, just so they wouldn't have to deal with you for three months?! Shouldn't that tell you something? I think you should think long and hard about the way you act and treat people here! You've messed with me plenty of times! You tried to kill me! But I will not let you destroy Negan's camp!" 

"Boo-fucking-hoo! What is he your wittle boyfwiend? Are you fucking him to get special treatment or does he just give it you for free? You're getting it somehow 'cause I sure haven't seen him so attached to a camper before." 

"You're sick!" Carl screamed, his cheeks burning red.

"That wasn't a no." Ron smirked, crossing his arms. "I bet he gave you those hickeys that you failed so bad to cover up. And that explains why I never liked our stupid-ass leader. You two fucking sickos, deserve each other! I bet you begged him. Or no, no...I bet all you had to do was shake that little twink of an ass of yours and he was all slobbering for you. I bet our big bad leader has fucked half the camp to be honest. I bet he's a fucking child molest-"

Carl's hands curled into tight fists as he threw one hard and fast, directly at Ron's face and another and another until Ron's nose was covered in blood and he was screaming.  
He didn't care where he hit as long as he hit.

"Don't you dare talk about negan like that ever again!" Carl raged and it rung through the small room. "And if I catch you messing with his friends again you'll be sorry!"

Ron's friends took off, abandoning the rough looking boy on the ground but once Carl backed off Ron limped away as well, without another word.

Carl looked around at the destruction, not believing how someone could do this.  
Everything was a wreck and he was determined to put it back somehow and as he picked up the guitar stand that Dwight had put together earlier, which was now cracked in three different places, he heard a faint knock.  
He crept closer to where he thought the sound was coming from and was surprised to see it was a storage closet.

Carefully he opened it to see Dwight on the other side looking defeated yet thankful.  
There was awkward silence though that they would have to move past.

"Believe it or not this is not the first time I've gotten locked in the supply closet by an evil camper."

Carl laughed to lighten the mood since Dwight obviously was trying too. "But have you ever been rescued by one?"

"No...can't say that I have." Dwight replied. "And I also never thought as a straight man I'd ever have to come out of the closet in front of a gay man."

Carl flushed but ended up grinning at the joke as he wondered how he knew.

"That's a good one." Carl said, relaxing now.

"Thanks, I thought so too." Dwight chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. "But all jokes aside, Mr.Grimes, thank you for, uh, rescuing me. How'd you know I was in trouble?"

Carl shrugged. "I don't know...when I saw Ron hadn't joined the lunch group I figured he stayed behind to wreck someone's life so I came back and I'm glad I did."

"Me too." 

"Let me help you." Carl offered as he watched Dwight struggle with the desk.

"You don't have to. You've done more than enough."

They got the furniture tipped back upright and his papers back in a stack on top.

"I want to." Carl smiled, gathering some trash and unfixable pieces and putting them in the can by the door.

Dwight wasn't the type to refuse help when offered so he thanked him and continued to clean up.

"How...much of that did you hear?" Carl asked suddenly before walking to pick up the tables and chairs where all the kids were sitting 20 minutes ago.

"Most of it..." Dwight replied awkwardly. "I don't know where some people get things, ya know?"

Carl shook his head, just thinking about the awful things Ron said.

"And I don't know who in their right mind would go around talking shit about negan when the man wields a barbedwire encased baseball bat! That is badass as hell and he even scare the shit out of me sometimes!"

Carl cracked up, holding his ribs as they ached.

"No, I agreed with you, mr.Dwight."

"Just Dwight. You're a cool guy."

"As long as I'm just Carl."

"You got it." Dwight said as he set the drums back up and checked them over for damage just as a brunette came quickly through the open door.

Carl recognised her and smiled as she came over to Dwight and wrapped her arms around him.

"I thought it happened again!" She said, clearly worried. "When you didn't show up for lunch...I thought oh god, the campers got him!"

Carl laughed and the couple turned to him as the girl hadn't even seen him standing there.

"It did, carl rescued me though. Carl, do you know Sherry?"

"Yeah, she puts me through to my calls from my family." Carl said.

"That's my job..." Sherry rolled her eyes and laughed sarcastically.

"Sherry's my fiance." Dwight grinned proudly, not letting go even though she clearly didn't want to act inappropriate in front of a camper.

"Congratulations." Carl smiled.

"We've been engaged for a little while." Sherry replied. "Negan won't let us get married."

"What?" Carl blurted.

"She's joking. Negan just wanted us to wait until after camp because he didn't want to deal with two honeymooners as his employees. He knew we'd get nothing done if we were newlyweds." Dwight wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively and gave her a quick kiss.

"He's a smart man." Carl smirked even though these two seemed to be in that phase already.

"He is." Dwight agreed.

"And he does do a lot of good for the campers," sherry added, "just some don't retain that information..."

"No." Carl said. "No they don't."

 

\-----

 

Simon heard it first.

A loud beating on the wall outside Beth's cabin.

He couldn't believe she hadn't heard it or woken up yet.

Simon got up out from under her and slowly crept over to his bag.  
He hated that he hadn't told beth that negan had him carry a gun to guard with and that he kept it in his bag.  
He'd wanted to tell her but never got the right moment and now was a good of time as any in case he had to use it.

He pulled on his clothes and took the pistol out and the safety off as he peered out the window only to see nothing.

"Beth..." He said as gently as he could, petting her arm. "Beth, get up, there's someone outside."

She startled awake as he tried to get her to understand.

"What?"

"There is someone outside. Get dressed and lock yourself in the bathroom."

"You have a gun?" She panicked, her eyes finding it immediately. "No, I'm not leavin' you!" She protested, jumping as she heard the sounds outside now.

He pulled her close for a kiss that he hoped would calm her some.

"I have it to protect you and I'll be fine as long as you are! Please, please beth...put on something and lock the door!"

She did as he asked and as soon as she was safely shut away, simon opened the door with his weapon raised.

The noises stopped suddenly and he crept around each side of the building, finding no evidence of a person.  
He went back into the cabin and shut the door and as it started again he threw open the door again to look.

Picking up his radio, he tuned into Negan's.

 

\-----

 

"Dwight told me how great you were today," negan smiled as he sat down with him on the window seat.

Carl looked up from going through his bag for clean clothes and focused on the man.

"Ron locked him in the closet." Carl huffed, still disgusted with his fellow camper's actions.

"It's awful but its not the worst thing he's done or probably will do."

"I'm not questioning your authority or anything but... Why'd you let him out?"

Negan rubbed his hands down his pants and sat back, trying to release some tension from the day, from this conversation.

"I didn't want to..." negan sighed. "but unless a camper has done something really horrible, legally, I can't keep them in solitary for more than 48 hours."

"Damn." Carl replied with a tone that made negan grin.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're just as sadistic as me..." He whispered leaning closer.

"Maybe I am..." Carl smirked, closing the gap but not quite enough to touch lips.

Negan's right hand raised to grasp the back of his neck sternly as he lightly kissed Carl's soft lips, once, twice, loosing count as they continued.

They pulled apart as soon as Negan's lower body suggested they take this to the bed that was a few steps away.

"I need to get in the shower..." Carl murmured as their foreheads still pressed together.

"That's fine..." Negan replied.

"Unless you need to-"

"No, its all yours." Negan said quickly even though he could use a cold shower right about now.

"You're welcome to join me." Carl let himself say as he studied the flash of desire in the older man's eyes.   
The thought of negan in there with him, helping him wash... 

Negan's willpower was not strong enough to hear those words come from this boy's mouth.  
He couldn't help but consider the idea or dream about it for even a second.  
Dreaming was safe, he could allow himself that.  
If he allowed himself to go through with making it a reality now, he would never forgive himself.

"Carl..." negan grinned. "The thought is...tempting, trust me."

Carl beamed in the lamplit room before negan kissed him once more.

"Not tonight."

"I guess I'll have to live with that." Carl gave a fake sigh as he stood up with his pajama shorts. " and I think I'll have to do laundry tomorrow. I don't have any clean shirts." He laughed, transitioning into normal conversation.

Negan grinned when he caught Carl's eye again.

"Top drawer," he nodded over at the dresser. "You're welcome to any of them."

Carl bit his lip to keep from grinning too much as the thought of wearing Negan's clothes almost overwhelmed him.

"Thanks." Was all he could say before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

Carl hadn't been in the shower five minutes when negan heard Simon's voice through his walkie laying on the counter.   
He knew that if he was calling him at this hour it must be important.

'Negan, its simon, you there? There's a situation down at beth Greene's cabin. Can you get down here?'

When he heard the message he was determined to go find this son-of-a-bitch himself knowing it had to be related to that.  
A guy that was going to creep around his camp and scare young women was going to have to deal with him.

He left Carl a quick note before heading off to Beth's cabin.

 

\-----

 

"Beth? C'mon out, darlin'!" Simon called through the door.

She hadn't seemed to understand that the noise had stopped and simon had chased away who ever it was.

The door creaked open and beth peered out, still scared of what might be around.

"It's alright." He said. "I think I scared away whatever it was."

The blonde darted out and ran into his arms, trying to soak up all the comfort he usually gave her.

Just as negan walked through the door.

Simon's eyes met his instantly and he knew that he knew.

The taller man judged the closeness of the two as beth let go of Simon quickly as he cleared his throat.

"So, where is this creep?" Negan asked forcing down his anger for the moment.

Beth decided she should speak up.

"There was a weird noise outside the cabin. I heard it and then I called for...mr.simon and he looked around the cabin and never found anythin'."

"Uh, huh." Negan replied, brow raised at them and as he turned to head back out to look around himself, his eyes found Simon's backpack on the hook by the door.

"Simon, why don't you come with me. Two against one." Negan said leaving the door open as he walked out.

"Do NOT leave this cabin, bethy." Simon whispered, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be right back."

Beth nodded as he shut the door to follow negan and Simon found him around the back of the cabin and seemed to have seen nothing sinister.

Negan was chillingly quiet which made simon more nervous as they went around the whole perimeter and shined flashlights into the trees before joining back up at the front.

"Nothing unusual here." Negan said using a tone simon couldn't quite decipher.

"I guess whoever it was, took off. Maybe you can look at the footage of the security cameras?"

"Would I see anything other than my lying best friend sneaking in and out of this girl's cabin?!"

Simon was silent as he swallowed the lump in his throat.  
He knew he'd have to face him with this at some point but he really wasn't expecting that to be tonight.

"I warned you!" Negan screamed, pointing his finger at him and whacking Lucille on the wooden structure of the logs of Beth's cabin. "I specifically warned you NOT to disobey me! My camp! MY RULES! Rule number three! What is it, Simon?! What's rule number three?!"

"Do not...under any circumstances, engage in a romantic or sexual relationship with a camper."

"Right! What did you do?"

"I did exactly that." Simon replied.

"Yes, you did EXACTLY that..."

Negan rubbed the stress lines in his forehead.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I...wanted to, I did." 

"Your damn bag was hanging on her hook! Your clothes were on her floor! You're playing god-damn house down here and you act like that slipped your fucking mind!"

"I'm s-"

"No, simon! I don't wanna fucking hear, I'm sorry! And if she ends up pregnant I am NOT going to be the one to explain that to her sister and her daddy, you are!"

"I wasn't going to apologize for loving beth. I won't ever apologize for that. I was going to apologize for not telling you sooner!"

The way negan looked at him, Simon expected him to walk away, but to his horror he headed back up towards Beth's door.  
Simon raced after him and got between him and the knob.

"Negan, don't you dare yell at her! She's been through enough shit! This was all me! If you want to punish her you'll have to go through me first!" 

Negan stared him down.

"Let me through. I'm going to talk to both of you whether you like it or not."

Simon hesitated before stepping aside and negan knocked on the door. 

"Come in," beth replied, shakily.

Negan opened the door just as beth hid Simon's shirt behind her back from trying to pick some things up.

"Miss greene, pack your bags." He demanded.

"What?!" Beth panicked as Simon walked over to stand beside her as a sign of solidarity.

"I need you both to listen to me. I will NOT repeat myself." Negan said. "I make the rules. Not only are you both responsible for getting into a relationship that is against camp policy but you are clearly being stalked and its not safe for you here anymore, miss Greene. I'm going to have to send you home."

"You can't do this." Simon bit out as beth just stood there stunned. 

"You know I can!" Negan reminded them. "I'll call your sister in the morning and you can stay until she can pick you up."

Beth just shook her head, not believing this was happening.

"And its not like it matters now," negan continued, darkly. "Simon, I guess you can stay with her for the rest of the time she's here cause you are no longer welcome in the counselor's area."

Negan slammed the door on his way out as beth melted into a sobbing heap in Simon's arms. 

 

\-----

 

The waiting was uncomfortable, not knowing what was going on or if negan was OK or if he was bested by the mystery intruder.  
He felt the walls closing in on him in the cabin and soothing night air was right outside that door and even though he knew it was risky, he stepped out onto the porch to breathe.  
He felt like he was going to go crazy, worrying about the older man and the dark night atmosphere was helping.  
The creatures of this hour chirped in the bushes giving him the usual sense of calmness he experienced here.

The camp was absolutely beautiful, day or night.  
Not one day went by that he didn't appreciate the gorgeous setting.  
He knew he'd never get tired of seeing it, feeling it.  
It wasn't just negan he wanted to be near, he wanted to feel the spirit of the property and he had a feeling that a lot of that came from Negan's friend Lucille.

Negan probably thought that when he told him about her that he'd think he was crazy or a sap but Carl understood.  
It was clear that this girl had meant a lot to him and was a special soul.  
There was no reason not to believe that her spirit wasn't here and looking after them all, especially their leader.  
He was for anyone who was for negan.

Carl shifted his arms on the railing and was just about to head back in when negan walked up into the light coming from his porch.

"I'm sorry...I needed some air." He said right away as he could practically see the questions on Negan's lips.

The older man sighed, defeated and came over closer to the porch.  
He didn't feel like telling Carl what he'd done.  
Hopefully when he did, he'd understand.  
He knew Carl would miss his friend being at camp but he had no choice.  
Beth was safer this way...  
Wasn't she?

"We couldn't find anything or anyone." Negan said, happy to see Carl in his white t shirt for the first time.

"Well, That's... Half good I guess." Carl said stepping down from the steps and walking over towards him as a loud bang rang through the night, close by and Negan stepped over to look at where he thought it came from but didn't see anything.

"N-Negan?"

He turned back around to see Carl clutching the side of his face, hand over his right eye.  
"No, no-nonono..." Negan whispered as he rushed over and caught him as he collapsed, falling into his arms.


	19. Deeply in love with this boy

Negan's fists curled in again as another wave of tension hit.  
The exact moment he turned around and saw Carl in such pain and just limp in his arms, replaying in an endless loop in his head.  
He fought away the overwhelming sensation of nausea as he tried to push all of the horribleness out of his mind and just couldn't.  
He didn't think he'd ever be able to forget.  
He felt his whole body shaking from the inside but willed himself to be strong for Carl.

Every small noise he heard in the infirmary had him on high alert and convinced that it was a sound connected to Carl.  
When he heard the murmurs from the nurses pick up he almost barged his way into the back but instead he took out his frustration on the nearest side table, scattering it's contents across the floor.

He couldn't take the waiting much longer and the only thing that helped was telling himself that it was better for Carl if Dr.Carson 2.0 could work on him without any distractions.

Anything that was better for Carl he would have to agree with.

Negan's hands shook as he tapped his fist on the arm of the chair he was in as the front door to the infirmary opened.  
He jumped up as if news about Carl's condition would magically come from that door instead of the back where he actually was.

"Mr.negan, sir. I'm sorry to interrupt." It was just joey. "You, um...left Lucille out on the ground by your cabin. Found her when I was patrolling."

"Seriously?" Negan said thoughtfully as he took the bat from his head of security. "I never do that. Did you bring her all the way here for me?"

"Yes , sir." Joey gulped.

"Did you treat her right?"

Joey raised an eyebrow. "Um, yes sir."

"Did you find anyone around my cabin?"

"Not yet, sir."

"Thank you." Negan replied. "Now get the hell out. Keep searching!"

The larger man nodded and left before he had to be told again.

Negan sighed, feeling a bit of Lucille's strength as he grasped the weapon.  
He wished she was there with him tonight and part of him knew that she was.  
She just had to be.  
She bugged him all the time to fall for someone and now that he finally had she wasn't even there to see it.  
He never was the spiritual type but he certainly was up for anything to help Carl.

"Please, lucy..." He prayed in a whisper. "Don't let anything happen to him. You win, OK?"

 

"Mr.negan?"

Negan shot up out of his chair to see Dr.Carson standing there this time.

"Carl?" Negan fumbled. "C-Can I see him?"

"Carl is stable...but are you sure you don't want me to call an ambulance? Take him to a real hospital?"

"No. If he's alright then...no. I can see him?"

"He's fine. You can, I just thougt you might want to discuss his condition first even though I should be telling this to his family..."

"It's my camp. I'm the one who's here. You're gonna tell me." Negan replied, giving him no choice.

"He's unconscious now from the meds I administered before removing the bullet, which was much smaller than I originally thought. which is great news, obviously. I don't know how long he'll be out since I don't exactly have all the equipment here to flush it quicker from his system. The good thing is, at least he'll get some well needed rest."

Negan nodded, his mind going back to the bullet.

"And the bullet?" He didn't even want to say it out loud. "Where did it...hit?"

"When we first looked at him I though that it had hit his eye, but miraculously it didn't! It hit right beneath the right eye so the likelihood that he'll be able to see is very high. It's really just a matter of when he wakes up, he will be able to tell us what trouble he could be experiencing if it hit any major nerves or things like that...as far as the 'bullet', it was bizarre. I've never seen anything like it. It looked like it was homemade almost...I saved it, I can show it to you."

Negan swallowed the lump in his throat. "Keep it. I'll look at it at some point. Can I see Carl now?"

"Yes. Of course." 

Negan followed Dr.Carson down to the first room on the left and Negan's world stopped when he saw Carl laying in the bed, his right eye bandaged up with white gauze like a headband.

"I'll be out here if you need anything." The doctor offered.

Carl to wake up.  
Carl to not have complications from this.  
Carl to be OK.  
Carl to not have to suffer.  
That was what he needed

But not one of those things could Dr.Carson provide.  
He had done all he could do.

Negan's feet barely could move to walk over to the side of Carl's small bed and he was immobile for probably ten minutes before he forced himself to get closer.  
He wanted either to stay back and not have to look at Carl in pain or rush over and pull him into his arms.  
Negan reached out a hand and took Carl's in his so gently remembering how just this morning those slender fingers were running over his chest with loving curiosity.  
He knew they would share that again he just wasn't sure when.  
He finally let his eyes wander up to the gauze again only looking at it for a second.

He couldn't bear to see him like that.  
He knew it had to have hurt and all he wanted was to hunt down and torture the sick person who did this.  
Carl didn't deserve this.  
Maybe this was his own punishment for even entertaining the idea of a relationship with him.  
It was difficult when Carl's talking, to remember that he's just seventeen but laying in that bed, he could see it now.  
The innocence that was still left even after everything his godfather put him through.

If he needed to back off of Carl to protect him, then so be it but not tonight.  
Not until he opened his eyes- well, eye and looked back at him.

He wasn't going to abandon him before he even knew he was there.

Carl was not going to wake up alone. 

 

\-----

 

"Beth?"

The blonde stirred under the covers when she heard simon call her.  
It wasn't quite light outside yet, she could tell from the darkness of the cabin.

"Beth, get up, darlin..."

Beth sat up quickly and he could tell that immediately she thought that the creeper was back just by the look on her face.

"Relax, I have a surprise for you...get a small bag together."

"What about negan? If he called Maggie-"

"Don't worry about them right now. He probably won't have her come until Wednesday anyway because that's an alternative family meeting day. Today, tonight? Is all you and me."

Beth practically bounced out of bed and over to the dresser to gather some things in her back pack.  
She was more than excited to see what simon had planned and the longer she could put off leaving camp, the better.

 

Beth closed the door behind her when she found simon out on the porch with his own back pack, staring across at the sapphire sky as the sun was barely trying to appear.

"You ready?"

"Mhhmm." She beamed, taking his hand. "But what am I ready for? What do you have planned?"

He grinned, leaning down for a kiss. 

"You'll see."

 

The walk down to lake was nice, being able to hold hands when there was no one around to see them and not that it mattered now anyway.  
Beth gasped when he lead her down to the bank where there was a canoe floating in the water.

"Have you ever been in one of these before?" He asked and Beth shook her head.

"Cmon, you'll love it!"

He stepped in first and she giggled as it wobbled, waiting for him to tip over.  
He took her hand and helped her in next both sitting down at the same time so they wouldn't capsize.

"Where are we goin', Simon? We can't sleep in a canoe..."

"We could." He corrected her as he pushed away with the paddles. "But it would be quite uncomfortable...and I would certainly not be able to do all the things I'm planning on doing to you in it either."

Beth blushed fiercely though he couldn't see it in the dark.

"Good thinkin'." Was all she could reply as he chuckled, continuing to row them across the water.

 

Beth's mouth fell open as they got closer to the small dock and he helped her out as she stared over at the small cabin somewhat hidden by the trees.

"What is this? You can't see it from across the lake?"

Simon chuckled. "No, you sure can't. Let me give you a tour."

Beth smiled taking his arm and following up to the door.  
He unlocked it and the door creaked open as they stepped through and into the small main area.

"There's a small living room. The tiny kitchen is over there and..." He intertwined their fingers, dragging her into the back. "Here's the bedroom." He whispered in her ear as she stared at the large bed that was almost the size of the whole room.

"It's perfect." She grinned back at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"I was hoping you'd like it." He dropped his bag on the chair as she placed hers on the dresser. 

"How is it so clean?" She wondered running her hand across the top of the foot board of the bed. "How long has it been here?"

"I came over a day or so ago when you were busy and cleaned up a bit. I actually hadn't been here in years before that," simon mused. "Negan and I used to come here all the time when we were at camp and then after negan bought the place...but I'll tell you about that some other time. Get in bed. I'm going to lock the door. I want you to feel safe here, OK?"

She grinned watching him pull back the covers.

"I only feel safe when you're with me so...mission accomplished." She replied.

"Alright, I'll be back in just a second."

She smiled to herself as she removed her jean shorts and t-shirt and climbed up on the tall bed, slipping under the blanket just as simon reentered.

"Hi." He grinned, his eyes trailing over her mostly bare body.

"Hi." She grinned back not looking away when he pulled off his own shirt and pants.

As much as he wanted to lay there and do all of those things he promised, he could see the tiredness in Beth's eyes and crawled in beside her, inviting her into his arms.

"I just want to lay here and hold you...and wake up in a few hours with you in my arms." He whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I always want to wake up in your arms." She whispered back.

"I know, darlin'...I'm trying to think of anything that would make negan change his mind."

He felt beth sigh against his chest and she seemed to be out in seconds as he lay there pondering things.

Pondering their future.

 

\-----

 

"Mr.negan?"

Negan sat up quickly, startled by his name.  
He glanced at Carl first then over at the doorway to see his receptionist, sherry.

"What?" He barked, letting go of Carl's hand, hoping she hadn't noticed.

"Um, I just got a call for Mr.Grimes. I didn't realize he was here. Is he alright?" She asked, recalling the conversation she'd only had with the boy yesterday.

To negan, yesterday felt like a lifetime ago.

"He will be." Negan replied. "Who was the call from?" 

Sherry glanced down at her post it note. "Shane...Walsh."

"No." Was all Negan said but that didn't help her. 

"What would you like me to tell him?" She huffed, getting frustrated. It was difficult to do her job when negan had no answers only his unexplained 'rules'.

"To go to hell!" Negan snapped, rubbing a hand over his face, trying to compose himself. "Tell anyone who calls for Carl Grimes that we are under lock down until further notice! Do NOT tell anyone about his condition! Do you understand?" He said, gaining his usual tone of anger. "And when you get back to the office, get me Rick Grimes phone number, it should be in Carl's file."

Sherry nodded, heading out, knowing not to go against his demands.

Negan sighed going to sit back down beside Carl again, willing him to become alert.

He couldn't take this.

It hadn't even been 24 hours and he was on the edge of losing his mind without him, without knowing what it was like for him.  
If he was in pain?  
Could he see or not?  
Was there damage?

He was about to take his hand again when he noticed that when he'd dropped it when sherry came in, it landed on his bat's handle.  
It made negan smile for the first time in hours so he left it, placing his own on top, both of them holding onto Lucille.

 

\-----

 

"I can't believe we slept so late!"

Simon chuckled from his place at the small stove as beth came in wearing only the button up shirt he'd taken off earlier.

"Its fine." He said. "We needed the rest."

"What are you makin'?" She asked wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. 

"Something good."

She accepted that answer as she pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder, next to the sleeve of his tanktop.

"If you don't stop, bethy, you won't get dinner because I'm about two seconds from turning this pan off and taking you back to bed."

He felt her giggle against his back.

"OK...I'll be a good girl." She whispered near his ear and that broke his self control in rapid time.  
He ditched the potatoes he was working on and turned around to grab her in for a searing kiss that rivaled the heat from the burner.   
Her legs latched around his waist as he lifted her up, pressing her against the wall.

"Dinner can wait..."

"But I'm hungry," beth pouted before gasping as he nipped at her neck.

"Me too." He growled, not being careful anymore about where he marked her. 

"We can wait..." She murmured against his lips. "Won't it be better if we're patient?"

Simon sighed as he knew she was right even as his dick tried to tell him otherwise.

"You're right," he replied giving her another sweet kiss before setting her down so he could rescue the food.

"Don't worry," she said softly, as her eyes dropped down to his crotch. "You can tell your 'friend' down there that I'll give him some special attention later."

Simon almost ditched the food again to follow her as she tested him once more.  
He had to hold onto the countertop just to keep from walking away.  
He didn't think beth would talk like that and he was more than turned on at this point.

He barely made it through cooking the rest of their dinner and all he could think about was beth.  
When he finally called her back in, she was at least wearing pants now so he could concentrate on eatting.

~

"You thought it was what?!" Beth laughed loud as she sat across from simon at the small table.

"We were twelve, bethy, cmon...but yes, negan and I thought this was a zombie apocalypse safe house, so we used to store stuff in here in case it ever happened."

Beth shook her head. "The crazy things boys will think of..."

Simon chuckled as he watched her eatting the potatoes and barbecue he'd snuck from the mess hall.

"Is it good?"

"So good." She said scraping her plate for the last taste.

She watched him as he got up to start putting things away.  
She knew they were going back pretty early tomorrow so he needed to take the time to do this now even though all she wanted was to just jump in bed with him.

"I'll be in bed...when you're ready." She whispered, giving him a long drawn out kiss, leaving him with that.

~

Simon grinned at beth as he came in a while later and found her smiling at him, on the bed, wearing only a light blue silk slip.

"Wow." Was all he could manage as she giggled.

"Do you like it? I wasn't sure if-"

"Bethy, darlin', really? Do I like it?"

"Do you?" She shrugged, getting embarrassed now.

Simon pulled off his tank top and crawled on top of her on the bed, answering her by pressing kisses down her bare collarbone through the valley between her breasts that were covered in the soft fabric and down the middle of her stomach.

"This is beautiful. I love it, I don't know where you got it from..."

Beth giggled. "Its just a night gown I just thought you might like it..."

"And I do," he assured her as He ran his hands up underneath it on her skin before pulling it off of her to reveal her bare body. "But this...is absolutely gorgeous."

His eyes darkened as they scanned over her and he leaned in to kiss her as she reached for his belt buckle to undo it before her fingers found the zipper.  
As they kissed she reached in and gave his hard dick a firm squeeze through his underwear, making him groan into her mouth.

"Remember what I taught you last time, darlin'... I won't last if you keep doing that."

Beth let out a naughty giggle as he pulled her down to lay flat underneath him.  
She reached up to run her fingers over his hard abs and through the patches of hair on his chest that she loved so much.

He raised one hand up to cup her breast while his mouth closed around the other, sucking her nipple gently into a stiff bud.  
The little noises beth was making, giving him all the approval he needed to make sure she wanted what he was giving her.  
As he moved back up to kiss her lips, he lowered his right hand down to run his fingers over the sensitive area between her legs.  
She was so slick with wetness for him that it was taking all of his self-control not to press inside her that instant.

"S...simon," she moaned loudly and he was thankful that no one was around to hear them.

"What'd you want, bethy?" He asked against her neck as he settled in closer.

"You..." She whimpered.

"Where?"

She smiled up at him, a light shining in her eyes as she pulled him closer.

"Everywhere."

Simon kissed her, this time more gentle as he aligned his hard length with her entrance.

"More," she said as he pressed most of the way, giving her time to adjust to him. "Please..."

He kept his mouth on hers to help catch her cries as he took in her warmth.  
It was so tight and warm inside her he almost came then as he thrust his hips as slow as he could, not wanting to give her any discomfort.

He began a slow rotation of his hips and as he moved, she clutched at his back as he rocked her so gently until they were both crying out for each other.

 

Beth's labored breathing as he stared at her, laying beside her, afterwards, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever her seen.  
He knew he'd never get tired of it and grinned at her as she shifted over to cuddle against his chest that was covered in sweat from their activities.

"I love you." She said simply, looking up into his eyes.

"I love you too, darlin'."

 

\----- 

 

"Knock, knock?"

Negan glanced up when Dr.Carson came in.

"How's he doing? Still asleep?" He asked as negan forced himself to look away from Carl.

"Yeah, he hasn't woken up."

"OK," the doctor walked over and negan had to look away as he announced he was going to change the bandage on his head.  
He couldn't watch some else touching the boy and he definitely wasn't ready to see the damage this had done to his beautiful face.

"That's fine." Negan said, gruffly, moving to the other side of the room. 

"You're welcome to see the w-"

"No." Negan snapped. "I was going to step out for a second anyway."

He wasn't going far.  
He could still see Carl from the hallway to make sure the doctor wasn't about to do anything sinister to him.

Negan removed the small paper from his pocket along with his cell phone that still had the picture of Carl and Judith pulled up.  
Negan had to regain composure before closing it and pulling up the dial pad.  
He typed in the numbers, his thumb hovering over the call button.

"Alright, Mr.negan, all done." Dr.Carson announced. "Do you need me to call his family or anyone. I'd thought they'd have been here by now."

"I'm handling it." Negan replied darkly, warning the man silently, not to ask again. 

"OK, then, how about eatting something? I know you've been here non stop. Can I get you any-"

"No!" He snapped again, shocking the man.   
He didn't want to be rude though since this man was taking care of Carl.

"Thank you. I'm fine." Negan replied and the man nodded and left him alone. 

Negan walked back over to the window and brought the number back up.  
He was going to make the call, he really was but when he looked back at Carl again he just couldn't.

His fingers typed in the name attached to the number and saved it as Rick before going back to the storage to a video he'd saved from the other day.  
Carl had no idea he'd recorded it and now was a good of time as any to play it back.

As it loaded, negan watched Judith in her little blue dress nuzzling into Carl's shoulder and he could tell he was saying something to her but he couldn't make out what it was.

Turning the volume up, he could finally hear that he was singing to her and the sound was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.

On the screen, Judith turned to look up at Carl as he sang 'you are my sunshine'.

Negan couldn't help the wetness that stung his eyes as he watched the footage of these two precious things.  
Quickly he shut off the phone, not being able to take watching anymore and sat back down to be closer to Carl.

Leaning his head on the mattress, he closed his eyes feeling tired all of a sudden. Maybe if he rested for a minute, he'd be in better shape for Carl when he woke up.

Just for a minute. 

 

\-----

 

"Good morning."

Negan sat up fast, jarring his neck, surprised to see simon on the other side of Carl's bed with his hands on his hips.  
The man was a mixture of terrified and angry but negan was just stunned.  
He was the last person he expected to see since their last conversation wasn't exactly friendly.

"I thought it was you!" Simon frowned, trying to get negan to understand.

"What was me?" Negan grimaced, rubbing over his face. "Is it really morning?"

"Yes! And I thought it was you! Here! In the infirmary! I asked for you and the nurse just said, follow me, so I did! What happened to him?"

"I'm fine." Negan waved his hand.

"And Carl Grimes? He's clearly not! Where's his family, do they know?"

"Leave it! They don't need to know right now! I'll call them when I'm damn-well ready!"

Simon didn't flinch as negan lay into him.  
He was used to it and he knew this was a way negan used to cope when he was on the edge of being terrified.  
Hopeless negan who was backed into a corner was dangerous and desperate.  
Simon didn't like those odds but knew the victim, no matter how angry negan got, would never be himself.

"Is he OK?" Simon asked again, noticing Lucille in the boy's bed.

"He will be." Negan replied, sitting back down and staring at Carl.

Simon watched the turmoil on Negan's face and didn't want to admit what he knew had to be true.  
He had never seen this side of negan before.

There was a long thick pause and neither knew how to move past it.  
The last time they saw each other, they'd been at odds.  
Being angry at each other wasn't really their thing.  
Negan would yell but usually simon would just listen.  
This time it was deeply personal on both ends, this one would be hard to move past.

"Can I do anything?'" Simon finally asked.

Negan looked up at him and stared in disbelief.  
After everything he'd put Simon through and he still was the better friend.  
He wasn't sure he'd be able to swallow his own pride if the roles were reversed.

"Wake him up." negan choked out. "Make sure he's not in pain. Make it be me in this bed and not him."

Simon saw it in him.  
Saw the deep rooted love and care that he hadn't seen, honestly since Lucille and even that was different.  
This was a person that negan could potentially share his life with.  
He knew Carl was gay and they had been spending a lot of time together.  
He hadn't thought anything of it until now and as angry as he was at negan for being the biggest hypocrite on the planet, he couldn't be against this connection.  
Negan needed someone and if it was meant to be this young camper then he was on their side.  
He knew it wasn't the time to bring this up, he wasn't doing it to be an asshole but negan had to see it.

"When beth was in here for...when she...was treated for her cuts, I felt the same way. I wished it had been me there and not her." Simon admitted as negan kept staring at Carl. "But that doesn't take the pain away. If it was you...Carl would be having the pain you're having, watching you lay there...Just like if it had been me instead of beth, she would have experienced that instead of me and I would never want that. She healed with me there to support her just like Carl will with you."

Simon couldn't see the look on Negan's face or the way he grasped Carl's hand so tight.  
After a moment, he stood and walked over to the small window just to avoid Simon.

"I..."

Simon had never seen negan speechless before for as long as they had known each other.

"Its OK." Simon came over and hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder.

He was always the one more intuned with his emotions.  
Lucille always told him that made him good for negan.  
He always made sure to show the tough man that it was healthy to show his feelings in better ways then just beating the holy hell out of things.

"What is OK?!" Negan yelled suddenly, shrugging off the touch.  
"What fucking part of this is ok?! Look at him!"

Simon closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

"Its ok to be upset and show it! It doesnt make you any less feared! He's going to be OK! He's a tough, good kid! Its OK that you probably have been here with him this whole time! Its OK that you love him! I see it, negan! What would Lucille say if she thought you were trying to give up on love?"

Something flashed in Negan's eyes that simon hadn't seen before.  
He'd gotten real with the man so maybe he needed to sit back now and take his punishment.

Negan looked over at Carl still in the bed, Simon's words pressing at him.

"I...don't. I can't."

"You sure? Why not? What the big deal?!" Simon screamed, done with negan punishing himself and not giving love a chance.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T DO TO HIM WHAT GREGORY DID TO ME!"

Simon was silent, his brow creasing as he went through old memories.

"What are you talking about? You mean when he took off and left us? You're not going to do that to the camp or to him!"

"No..." Negan shook his head and turned away.

Simon wouldn't understand.

"Forget I ever said anything to you! You know what, just go, Simon."

Simon huffed, turning and heading for the door.  
He didn't have to take this treatment from negan.

"Fine! Suit yourself."

Negan called him back when he was just out the door of Carl's room.  
Simon hoped he wouldn't regret turning back around.

"I'm sorry." Negan said.

"For what?" Simon asked, leaning on the doorframe now, a scowl on his face.

"Beth...she can stay. I was wrong."

Simon grinned, coming back over to him.

"What made you change your mind?"

"Does it matter why when I have?" Negan asked and simon shrugged. "Your point, If it was me here, Carl would be the worrying one. So I thought, If it was someone trying to take Carl from me, I would be fighting them tooth and nail to keep him here and the outcome would not be pretty."

Simon chuckled. "That's very true. Why do you think I came here to talk to you?"

Negan chuckled too.

"And if you can keep it a secret, I think it might be a good idea to move her to your cabin, at least for a few nights. If the person who did this to carl, was the mystery creep, I doubt you want this to happen to beth."

You didn't have to tell simon twice.

"I will run it by her. Though I'm sure she'll agree." Simon still grinned before adding, "Now, I can keep Carl being here from her if you'd rather be alone with him until he wakes up."

"No, don't keep it from her but...if you tell her that he's OK maybe she won't rush down here, unnecessarily. I'll let you know when he wakes up so you can tell her."

"No problem." Simon said, coming over and making negan stand up and hug him. "Thanks, neg. He's gonna be ok, you know he will."

Negan gave him a nod as he left and he knew that they were all good now.

"Hey, simon?"

The man paused, answering back with raised eyebrows.

"There is one thing you could do for me..."

 

\----- 

 

Negan let out a long sigh as he held the tiny toy in his hand.  
He'd stared at the plastic cat for over twenty minutes, since Simon returned with it, as he thought back to the day Carl told him about it.  
This little good luck token belonged to Judith.  
He couldn't think of a better thing to have here for Carl.  
Something had to wake him up, maybe it could be this.

The little thing looked so cute but out of place sitting on the blanket next to Lucille.  
He chuckled to himself, wondering briefly if he looked that out of place holding the girl that day.  
He hoped not because spending time with her felt right.  
He instantly had a connection with her and didn't want that to be for nothing.  
His brain allowed him the crazy, unrealistic, split second vision of him and Carl in a home together.  
Carl coming out of their shared bedroom to check on Judith just down the hall...

Thinking about Judith hurt, but thinking about Carl hurt more and thinking about both of them just made him want to watch that video again or do anything to make that sweet dream go away.  
It wasn't something he could have so there was no use in hoping.

"You are my sunshine..." He whispered, grasping Carl's hand and raising it to his lips. 

Maybe.

Just maybe this would work and Carl would wake up.

"My only sunshine...You make me happy when skies are grey..." He only sang loud enough for it to reverberate through his hand and hopefully Carl would hear him, feel him.

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you...please don't take my sunshine away..."

Negan closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to the skin of the back of his hand, just as he felt those fingers squeeze back.  
His eyes darted up to Carl and saw that he was alert.

Negan lept up as Carl sat up too fast, and wobbled before grasping at the bandage on his face.

"What?...hap...I-" Carl stuttered not sure how to feel as he felt Negan's arms tight around him.

"Hey, shh, Carl, you're OK."

Negan noticed Carl's good eye watering as he tried to deal with the confusion.

"I don't understand." He said as negan cupped his cheek to wipe away a tear.

"You were shot...Do you remember?"

Carl kept trying to mess with the bandage and negan stopped him and Carl shocked him by bursting into tears.  
Everything he'd been through he didn't think this would've brought on the waterworks.

Negan pulled him against his chest, supporting him through this.

"Lighten up, kid." He teased, starting to get emotional too. "At least cry a little." 

He held Carl until he seemed to be more calm and the sobs stopped.   
As he sat back against the pillows again, Negan was afraid carl would shut him out but he didn't let go of Negan's hand.

"Do you remember what happened the other night?" 

"The other night? How long have I been out?" Carl sighed.

"Two nights. This was almost your third."

He waited for that information to soak in.

"Um...you went to the girl's cabins to look for that creep who's been sneaking around....I never should've gone outside but I was worried about you and I needed some fresh air. I remember talking to you but...nothing after that."

Negan nodded.

"That's pretty much how it went. I've been here ever since." He said, running his thumb over Carl's wrist.

Carl gave a small smile that if negan hadn't been paying attention, he probably would've missed it.

"You didn't have to-"

"Of course I did." Negan whispered back, leaning close silently asking Carl for a kiss.

Carl turned toward him to answer and Negan's lips met his in a soft, quick kiss.

The door opened then so they separated and Dr.Carson grinned when he saw Carl was awake.

"There you are, Mr.Carl! how are you feeling?"

"Better now." Carl blushed giving a glance to negan only they knew.

"That's great news! Now this guy can go and get something to eat."

Carl turned to glare at negan now and he gave him a 'we'll talk about it later' look.

"So, I know you probably wanna be left alone, Mr.Grimes but I really need to change your bandages and I'm curious to see what the damage is. If its something that needs to be fixed right away, you're going to have to leave camp and have it seen about immediately."

Carl turned to negan, a terrified expression on his face.

"That's fine. You can change the bandage...I-I'm not leaving though."

"Well, I'm sorry but if that's what is best for you then-"

"I just won't have an eye! Its fine!" Carl said and the doctor chuckled.

"Maybe I'm not OK with that. Do you want mr.negan to leave?"

"What? No!" Carl cried, reaching out for the man on his right, not liking any of these questions he was being asked.

"OK. I just have to ask when someone isn't family..."

Carl as well as negan felt a wave of anger at that.  
Maybe they weren't technically family, but what gave Dr.carson the right to say that?  
What gave anyone the right to say they weren't a unit.

Carl absentmindedly grasped Lucille's handle as Dr.Carson moved to undo the bandage around his eye.  
Negan wasn't ready to see it even yet so he turned and looked the other way.

He wasn't squeamish.  
Not even close  
He had no problem with blood or wounds he just couldn't take that it was Carl.  
His Carl.

"How is that, Mr.Grimes?" Negan heard the doctor ask.

"OK...uh, it...feels swollen,"

The doctor nodded.

"Can you open that eye?"

"I can try..." Carl said as he slowly raised his right eye lid. "I can see...it's blurry but I can still see some things." He confirmed as he heard negan say something under his breath.

"Good! That's all good! I'm afraid though that you'll have to keep this bandage on for a while and that won't help with the blurry vision but that will most likely go away once the wound is healed. Let me get that cleaned and wrapped back up for you."

Negan was hovering as the doctor worked and turned when Carl gasped at the solution hitting the wound.  
He almost snapped at the man until Carl said it was OK, he just wasn't expecting the sting.

"It hurt less than the bullet did," Carl joked and the doctor laughed. 

"Would you like to see it? The bullet?" Carson asked as he finished up, tying the gauze up in the back of his head. "I was telling negan about it earlier." 

"Sure." Carl replied, laying back down on the pillow.

"OK, I'll be right back with it." Carson said, heading out of the room.

Negan sat back down and took Carl's hand, but he wouldn't look at him directly.  
He'd been avoiding catching Negan's eyes since he woke up and he was afraid that Carl was going to be self conscious now.  
Negan reached up to brush his fingers across the bangs that fell over his bandage and Carl blushed brightly.

Dr.Carson came back in and negan let go again and came over to the left side of Carl's bed. 

"So here it is..." Carson announced, holding out a small plastic tray with the small, roundish, half disintegrating object.  
It was quite rough and difficult to tell what all it was made of.

"Now because I didn't know what this was made of, I gave you a tetanus shot just to be safe. That will last you about 8 years or so, just in case you have an unfortunate run in with another foreign object but let's hope not."

Negan took the thing from him and examined it some more before ordering him to keep it.  
If they ever found the person or the weapon it was used with, maybe they could match it.

"If you guys don't have anymore questions then I will be going for the night and Mr.Carl, you can go back to your cabin tomorrow. Just take it easy. Maybe Mr.negan will be nice enough to let you stay out of some of your lessons."

Carl smirked at negan as the doctor shut the door behind him and negan brought his chair around to the left side and finally sat down and took Carl's hand once more.

Another knock on the door, interrupted them again and Carl let out a real laugh as negan huffed in frustration.  
All he wanted was to sit here, alone with Carl.  
Was that too much to ask?!

"Knock, knock?"

It was nurse Denise with a tray full of food.  
Negan knew instantly that this was an order from Dr.Carson.

"Do you think you feel like eatting, Carl?" She asked.

"Yes!" Carl replied as she sat down a tray on his lap before offering one to negan.

He really wasn't too keen on the food from the mess hall.  
It was why he planned out menus to cook for himself while camp was in session but the look on Carl's face that begged him 'please eat something', was too much.

"Sure." Negan replied, taking the tray begrudgingly. "I hope it's not mystery meat night, I had that for lunch!"

The nurse just rolled her eyes at his cheeky grin as she left. "No, mr.negan, you make sure the kids don't have anything like that!"

Negan waited until Carl had his unwrapped to undo his own and found a chicken sandwich that actually didn't look half bad.  
Maybe it was just because this was his first meal in like 48 hours...

"This is so good." Carl commented, eatting with his eye closed. "Maybe its just because I haven't had any food in days..."

Negan chuckled, "I was just thinking that."

"I wish I had some mayonnaise..." Carl added and negan tossed some packets onto his tray. 

"Thanks," he grinned. "You don't want it?"

Negan shook his head.  
He didn't, but Carl could've had it even if he did.

"Please tell me this isn't the first meal you've had since-"

"You were here. Yeah, it is." Negan was honest.

Carl's sigh was long and drawn out.

"Negan-"

"I wasn't leaving you. Period." Negan replied.

"Simon could've brought you something."

"Carl, you don't understand...I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep with you here like this. Simon could've brought me homemade spaghetti and fresh squeezed lemonade and I still wouldn't have been able to stomach it, with you out of it like you were."

Carl stared down at his tray as negan was beating this into him.  
He still didn't know why negan cared about him or what negan saw in him.  
He was even less of an attractive person now so what would a powerful man like him want with him.

"What is it with you and spaghetti?" Carl chuckled before frowning. "I mean...I get it. If it was you here instead of me...I wouldn't have eaten either." Carl said, voice barely above a whisper.

Negan smiled even though he didn't like the thought of Carl starving for him.  
It still meant everything to hear him say that.

 

After they talked for a bit through dinner and negan argued that he was staying and not going back to the cabin to get a good nights sleep, Carl offered his bed to him.

"No!" Negan replied.

"I don't need a bed to rest my eye!"

Negan laughed, claiming that wasn't funny.

"I thought you told me a long time ago I was funny." Carl complained.

"I did tell you that..." Negan said leaning closer to Carl to brush their noses together. "But I hate to break it to you but we've only known each other for a month and a half."

"It feels like I've known you forever." Carl murmured, pressing their foreheads together before negan moved in for a small kiss.

"I know." Negan said. "But forever for me is a hell of a lot longer."

Carl chuckled, laying back down against the pillows.  
He wished he was awake enough to stay up all night with negan but he just couldn't force it anymore.  
He'd had a rough time and his body needed some natural sleep.

"Sleep." He whispered, kissing his hand. "I'll be right here."

Carl smiled sleepily, giving up the fight and reached beside him and placed his other hand on the bat beside him.

"Goodnight, Lucille." Carl whispered and negan knew in that moment that he was undoubtedly, deeply in love with this boy.

 

\-----

 

Hours after Carl had fallen asleep, he'd turned over and their hands separated so negan took that time to pull out his phone and finally do what he couldn't do earlier.  
It wasn't too late at night that it would be rude to call so he figured now was as good a time as any.

Carl was awake now and his family really should know about this before they showed up to the meeting this weekend.

He stood up and walked quietly over to the small window, hoping Carl wouldn't hear him and wake back up.  
He pressed Rick's name in his contacts and waited as it rang.

When the voice mail answered, negan put on his professional voice and left him a message.

 

"Rick Grimes, this is Negan, from camp sanctuary...I'm calling about your son Carl. Please call me back as soon as you get my message."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...rick didn't show up in this one because I had more going on than I originally planned for this chapter, but I promise he'll be in the next one along with his mystery significant other! Thanks for reading! :-D


	20. Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long!

Negan had probably called rick four times in the last 24 hours.  
He figured the man would probably panic when he saw how many calls were from him about Carl.

He came back inside after another failed attempt and watched Carl asleep in the bed.  
He was so precious, and looked like he was finally getting some good rest.

Negan startled as his phone rang in his hand and he stepped back out side so he wouldn't disturb Carl.

"Rick Grimes?"

'Yeah, I'm so sorry I missed your calls last night. I was...well, it doesn't matter what I was doing. I shut my phone off and I just turned it back on.'

"Did you get my message?" 

'No, I honestly just called you right back because I was worried about Carl. I figured if you'd called that many times it was about him.'

"Yeah, uh, rick...Carl was shot." Negan said as Rick stuttered and he could tell he was panicking. "He's OK. He's awake now and I'm sure he'd love to see you."

'How the hell was he shot?! What kind of camp are you running?!' 

Negan was expecting the onslaught of rude comments but nothing was as bad as the things negan had told himself.

"How about we discuss that in person when you come for a visit. Do think you could make it out here today?"

'Yes! Of course I can.'

"And rick...if you could NOT mention this to Carl's mother. Something tells me he'd really appreciate it."

Rick sighed through his end of the phone.

'Yeah...that's probably best right now.' Rick agreed.

"See you later, rick."

'Uh, negan, Tell...tell Carl I love him.'

Negan smiled though rick couldn't see it.

"Will do, rick, buh bye."

 

\-----

 

"Beth," simon sighed sitting up in bed as he finished his coffee.  
It was time for him to tell her about Carl and he didn't want to upset her like this.

He couldn't keep it from her anymore though and pulled her closer before he began.

"What is it?" She asked getting nervous when she saw how distraught he seemed.

"Something, uh...happened to Carl the other night and its time you knew about it."

He saw the panic in her eyes and didn't want to continue.

"He's OK, now. It's just...he was shot."

"Shot? What how? Where? Was that why you stopped me last night from going to visit him."

Simon thought back to last night when he distracted her with heated touches and kisses so she would forget about her friend for the night.

Simon nodded. "Yes, but I only did it for negan. I know he really wanted to just deal with Carl on his own so I didn't want us getting in the way. Especially not after he was so considerate to let you stay. You can go visit Carl now though, anytime you like. I think he's probably going to have a visit from his family though at some point today."

"Who shot him? Was it the mystery guy? The one who's after me?" 

"We don't think so, darlin'," he assured. "I think it was someone in the camp."

"What does mr.negan think?"

Simon sighed.

"I don't know...but we'll figure it out. I want to male sure you know you're safe here, with me. Also, I don't think negan wants this to get around so could you maybe keep it to yourself for now?"

Beth nodded. "Of course!"

 

\-----

 

"Hey...where were you?" Carl smiled, turning over to get a good morning kiss.

Negan hesitated, thinking about this before answering.  
He didn't want Carl to be upset with him but he'd have to find out at some point today.

"I talked to your dad." Negan replied.

Carl sighed and turned over, his back to him now.

"Carl, don't be-"

"Of course I'm mad!"

"And don't lay on that eye."

"Well, then come around to this side so I can turn back over and ignore you!" Carl huffed.

Negan smirked, getting back out of bed and coming around to the right side and sure enough Carl turned so he wouldn't lay on his wound.

"Better?" Carl scowled though negan couldn't see it.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Carl...why don't you want to see your family?"

"I thought you would understand." Carl replied. "I don't want them to see me like this! I don't even want you to see me like this but I don't really have a choice!"

"You do have a choice, Carl. You can tell me not to look and I would try my very best. Though I'm not sure how well that'll go over since I haven't been able to keep my eyes off of you since day one...and I still can't."

Carl blushed as negan whispered in his ear and yanked him closer to him, holding him around the middle.  
He knew negan tried to usually hold back his affections so this surprised him to see them come out.  
Carl didn't want to give into him when he was so mad but he couldn't help it when he felt him press a kiss to his shoulder.

"Afterwards...you can come back here and have a warm shower and I'll cook you a meal and then ice your ribs..."

"Sounds...sexy." Carl said sarcastically and he felt negan laugh against his back. "But If you keep whispering in my ear like that I'm gonna need a cold shower not a hot one."

Negan raised an eyebrow as Carl turned back to face him, leaning his head on his hand, to raise it above the pillows.

"So when are they coming?" Carl asked in a low voice he could barely hear.

"It's just your dad and probably around two. I basically told him your mother wasn't welcome here right now. He implied he wasn't planning on inviting her anyway. And he told me to tell that he loves you."

Carl gave a small smile, raising his left hand to clasp with Negan's.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

"You keep saying that but I'm not sure why."

 

\-----

 

Rick had never been so nervous in his entire life.

The private family meeting room in the main office wasn't large enough and It only had a small window so it wasn't doing anything for the things he felt inside.  
He wondered briefly if Carl felt this same way when he was in the hospital and hated the thought of him going through that.

Negan had explained and assured that he was fine on the phone earlier so he just repeated that in his head to try and calm down.

Rick hadn't even noticed his leg bouncing up and down until a warm, supportive hand from the chair next to him, came over and rubbed his thigh firmly.

"Rick..." The soft but rough voice whispered.

"I know...I know he's fine. I just...can't. I can't do this. Not until i see him for myself."

A pair of kind, bright blue eyes stared back at him and rick leaned his forehead on the other's.

"...Daryl." He whispered sounding so defeated.

"He's gonna be fine, I bet he's gonna walk through that door any minute and you'll feel ten times better."

Rick grinned, giving him a quick kiss.

"You make me feel ten times better."

A pink tint faded over Daryl's cheeks as he still wasn't used to Rick's affections.

"Now I meant what I said." Daryl offered. "I won't be offended if you don't wanna tell him about us today. I came to support you, not get shown off."

Rick chuckled happily, wrapping his arm around Daryl, pulling him to his chest as close as he could.

"I know...but I don't know if I can hide 'us' to my gay son."

"Ok, I'm just good with whatever you choose."

Rick smiled at him leaning in for another kiss just as there was a knock in the door.

"Come in?" Rick called, standing up and Carl came in with a timid smile.

"Hey, dad." Carl barely managed to say as rick threw his arms around him and then pulled back to cup his face.

"My boy, what happened? I mean, I know what happened. Negan told me but he didn't tell me everything."

"He'll be in in a few minutes to talk." Carl warned.

Carl hugged him again, deep down missing him and as he went to sit down he was stunned when he realized they weren't alone.  
Carl didn't mean to stare at the man but he couldn't help it.  
Once he got his scrambled thoughts together he stuck his hand out to him.

"Hey, I'm Carl." He smiled trying not to act too weird.

The skinny but muscled man stood and accepted his hand.  
"I'm Daryl, I've heard more about you than you probably know about yourself."

Carl blushed involuntarily out of self consciousness as he struggled to put two and two together here.  
Why would his dad bring some random guy he'd never met before?  
It wasn't even like this was a normal family meeting day.

"Well, I usually have two eyes, but you probably knew that." Carl said as he sat across from them.

"You lost your eye?! You only have one?!" Rick panicked, his own eyes widening and Carl burst out laughing so hard he could barely breath.

"No, dad. I'm fine. I almost lost my eye but I didn't."

Daryl smirked, wanting to laugh more too.  
He reached over to pat Rick's arm as Carl continued.

"I...I, um, I was shot by either that intruder or if not it would have had to be another camper."

"How the hell did that happen?" Rick cried and Daryl's touch on Rick's arm soothed him. "I am gonna give that leader of yours a piece of my mind!"

"It wasn't Negan's fault!" Carl cried.

"Negan?" Daryl piped up. "What kinda name is Negan?" 

"You know I was wondering that myself." Rick said turning to him.

Another knock and Carl figured it was negan but when the door opened it was Simon.  
Carl stood and rick watched as his son had a friendly conversation with the man.

"Hello, Carl!" He greeted before turning to rick and Daryl. "And hello again."

"How are you? How's the..." Simon asked turning back to the boy he was familiar with, putting his arm around his shoulder and patting it.

"I'm OK. I'll be happier when I can get this thing off." He joked.

Simon nodded.

"Negan's coming. He got caught up with another family but he wanted me to tell you that he'd rather be here, ya know?"

Carl smiled.

"Yeah, I know."

"Alright, y'all just shout if you need anything."

Carl nodded. "Thanks, simon. See ya later."

The man left with a wave and Daryl watched the skeptical look on Rick's face.

"I didn't realise campers could be so friendly with counselors." Rick pointed out.

"Oh, uh...yeah, there's a lot of respect here. They like me I guess so...I've made friends with more of the counselors then the actual campers." Carl laughed awkwardly.

"So...uh, Daryl, do you...work with my dad?" Carl got up the courage to ask as no one else was talking.

"Uh...we met-"

Rick cut daryl off by lacing his fingers with his.

"Daryl and I met when I got a domestic abuse call...we've been close ever since." Rick grinned.

Daryl turned and grinned big back at rick as the man watched his son's reaction now.

"Your dad saved me...from my brother."

Rick watched Carl's face go from stunned to the biggest smile he'd seen on him since he woke up from the coma.

"How long ago?" Carl asked, still grinning, his good eye looking from his dad to Daryl and back to his dad.

"Well, we met before I was in the hospital but we've only been together since...after I woke up."

"I was at the hospital too...you just didn't know it." Daryl admitted.

Carl smiled at them both again just as the door opened and in walked negan.

"Hey, Rick, how are you? Sorry I took so long. I had to deal with another family but I'm here now." He shook Rick's and Daryl's hands not even asking who he was.

Negan shared a smile with Carl as he sat next to the boy as if that was just his rightful place.

Which it was.

"I'm better knowing my son is OK...but how the hell did this even happen?"

"We're trying to figure that out." Negan frowned. "I've had my security on it but they haven't found anything."

"I don't think parents are going to be too happy about this."

"Yeah...well, I was kinda hoping we could keep it on the down low." Negan said. "I mean, Carl's cool with it. He said he'd say it was like pink eye or something if anyone asked."

Carl met Negan's gaze as the man spouted off to rick about this made up conversation they never had.  
He would say that though if that's what negan wanted so he made sure negan knew he was on board.

"You don't cover up pink eye with a gauze wrap!" Rick shouted.

"You could though." Negan pointed out with a grin and Carl nodded, agreeing.

Rick was getting more frustrated with this man by the minute and Daryl reached over, placing his hand on his arm again.

"Do you want to see it?" Carl asked rick, staring him down. "Would that make you feel better?"

He really didn't want anyone to look at him with or without the cover on but if seeing that his wound wasn't as bad as he thought then maybe he'd lay off negan and his camp.

Rick sighed, rubbing his temples.

"No...Carl, that's OK."

Negan gave Carl a small smile before turning back to rick.

"Rick, I assure you I'm doing everything in my power to find whoever did this."

Rick nodded as his reply.

Deep down he knew that was probably true.  
This was Negan's camp and he knew he needed to not have the kids and parents fearing for their lives.

"I know..." Rick said finally. "No one will hear it from me about Carl's incident."

Carl smiled now and negan asked if there were anymore questions before he left.

"I don't think so." Rick said. "I'm...sorry I got up in arms, negan. I know you have taken good care of my son and none of this was your fault. I appreciate you calling me too."

Negan grinned at the man and reached over to shake his hand.

"Good to see you again, Rick." He said. "And..."

"Daryl." Daryl replied shaking his hand again too.

Negan looked him up and down for a minute.

"Daryl? Wow, that actually sounds...right." He chuckled, standing up and patting Carl on the shoulder. "I'll see you later, Carl. Oh and, uh, you all can stay visiting up until 6pm."

Carl nodded and thanked him again as he shut the door.

"What did he mean by that?" Daryl asked rick in a low, irritated voice.

Rick shrugged. "I warned you he has a weird sense of humor."

Carl smirked. "You have no idea."

 

\-----

 

"Maggie!" Beth shouted as she ran over to hug her sister in the midst of all the other campers.

Maggie was pleasantly surprised as beth came flying down the middle section of tables to greet her.  
It was a huge contrast between last time and now and she was almost too stunned to speak.

"You look...happy." Maggie beamed as she returned the embrace before sitting at an empty table.

"Thanks!" Beth giggled, "how's the baby? Do you know what you're having yet?"

"The baby's good. And we don't...I'm waiting on glen to say whether or not he wants to know. At first he said he didn't but now I think he does." Maggie smirked.

Beth's eyes widened as she considered those options for them.  
She hoped they decided to find out because she really wanted to know even though that wasn't the important part.

"How is my brother in law?" 

"Good!" Maggie beamed. "Nervous, getting ahead of himself. He tried to come home with a tricycle the other day!"

Beth giggled loudly.

"I finally had to let him buy these tiny yellow socks just to get him to leave the baby department...and don't get me started on daddy! He acts like he never even had a problem with Glen! I came home the other day to find him practically forcing the family baby name books on him and he even invited him into the living room to watch baseball!"

"That's so cute!" Beth squealed. "I can't wait to come home and shop for the baby too! And see daddy with Glen because I'm sorry but I'll have to see that to believe it!"

Maggie shook her head with a laugh, thinking how spoiled her baby already was.

"Enough about us! How are you?"

"I'm good!" Beth beamed. "I'm great..."

Maggie knew something was up.  
She'd never seen her sister light up like this before and there really was only one explanation.

"Bethany Greene!"

"What?"

"Did you meet someone?!"

"What? No!" Beth shrieked seeming even more obvious.

"You did! Oh god, he's a bad boy! What were you thinking falling for someone here!"

"Well, its not like you get a choice! Miss I'm-carrying-my-pizza-delivery-boy's baby!"

Maggie's gasp was fake.

"Well, I did marry him at least."

"True." Beth giggled again, trying to change the subject.

"So...who is he, beth?"

"I'm not telling." Beth said seriously. "You won't approve."

Maggie shook her head.

"Try me. I told you about Glenn before I told daddy because I knew you'd approve."

Beth sighed.

"I can't...I just can't. You already sent me here because you didn't trust me with a guy when he tried to rape me! Why should I tell you about this guy that I actually love! "

Maggie's mouth fell open as beth realised what she let slip and took off out the door of the mess hall.

"Beth, wait!"

 

 

Beth cursed herself as she ran down to the small lake by the front of the camp.  
She had never wanted to tell her family what happened because one they'd never believe her and two, if they did, now they'd take her out of camp.  
If they were wrong about her then they'd realise she didn't need to be there and take her away from simon.

She sighed as she sat down on an old bench to think about what she was going to say to Maggie when she finally tracked her down.

What was Maggie going to say...

 

"Look at little miss crybaby, running away from her family meeting!"

Beth looked up to see Enid standing above her, hands on her hips.

"What are you doing here?" Beth asked, wondering why this girl even was bothering her now. 

They hadn't talked since she wanted her to pimp her to negan.  
She'd done that.

"I thought you said you would say nice things to negan about me?"

"I did." Beth replied, wondering why she needed to bring this up now. "You watched me!"

"So...why hasn't he come looking for me yet?"

Beth looked incredulously at her.

"Maybe you're just not his type." She said. "But I told him."

Enid shook her head. "I don't get it! How can you have a counselor falling all over you and none of them even look at me!"

Beth covered her face in frustration. "Why do you even want to be with a counselor anyway?! Are you just a...a girl who sleeps around or have you actually fallen for one of them?"

Enid shrugged. "I mean...Negan's hot! I'd love to get in his pants! But really I just see it as a ticket to not have to do anything. Not go to lessons...not have to deal with anything. At all."

Beth stared at the other girl.

"Do you think I chose to fall in love with a counselor?!" Beth cried. "Because I didn't! But coming here was the best thing that ever happened to me because I met simon! I don't care who you tell! Tell everyone about us! It's not going to change anything and negan will make it so no one believes you! I love simon and simon loves me!"

"Beth?"

The blonde turned to see her sister standing there, watching this all awkwardly.

"Looks like I don't have to tell anyone...everyone already heard you." She scoffed, turning and walking away.

Beth silently sat back down wanting to crawl under a rock.  
She didn't want to answer any of Maggie's questions right now and she could tell she had a lot of them.

"Who was that girl?"

"Enid Nacon." Beth replied. "We've been fightin' since I got here. She used to be my cabin mate but mr.negan gave me a new cabin, alone."

She left out the part where she was moving into Simon's.

"Beth...is that true?"

"Is what true?"

"That that man daddy had over to the house that day was after you?"

Beth was silent as she looked over at the lake, shining as it rippled in the afternoon sun.

"Yes. You and daddy jumped to think that it was me who came on to him...but he was the one that cornered me. I am not the little slut you think I am! I've met those kind of girls here! That Enid girl is the biggest one of all."

Maggie came over instantly and wrapped her arms around her little sister.  
Beth sighed against her feeling a sudden relief.  
She felt like the sister she used to have was back.

"I am so sorry." Maggie said gently as she let go of her.

Beth didn't know what to say.

"You believe me?"

"Yes! Yes, I believe you." Maggie replied.

"Please don't make me come home." Beth begged, knowing that was what was next on Maggie's mind.  
If they were wrong about her, she shouldn't have to stay in a corrections camp for another month.

Maggie searched her eyes.

"Because you wanna stay here with...Simon?" Maggie said. "I heard you say that to that Enid girl."

Beth nodded, blushing.

"You can stay and I won't tell daddy...yet," Maggie offered.

"If?" Beth knew it was coming.

"If I can meet this Simon?"

 

~

 

"He might be busy now." Beth warned as she walked with Maggie back up to the mess hall.

"Busy? Like with his family?" Maggie asked.

"Uh...no." Beth replied.

"Well, how old is he?"

"Older than me..." Beth said.

"You're nineteen, beth it's perfectly fine to date a guy a little older than you."

"He's more than a little older than me..." The blonde said under her breath.

Beth's heart skipped as she glanced around and saw Simon talking with Gavin in the doorway.  
She wasn't sure how Maggie was going to react to this but she didn't want to lie to her anymore.  
If Maggie didn't approve of her and simon then she'd just leave camp with him instead of going back to the farm.  
she finally caught his eye and waved him over.

Beth told Maggie to go sit on the chair porch outside, she'd bring him in a minute.

Simon came right over to her once he was through with his coworker.

"Hey, darlin'. You OK? You seem...tense."

"My sister wants to meet you. I told her the truth about the guy...the reason I'm here and She said if I introduce you to her...I can stay."

"I'm glad you told her, bethy but don't you think when she sees me she's gonna make you go home faster. I'm not exactly...the nice guy I'm sure she wants you to end up with."

Beth's eyes filled with love as she looked up at him.

"I don't care! And you are a nice guy! Look, if she doesn't approve then she can go home without me."

Simon grinned devilishly. "And then you can come home to live with me."

"Sounds good, c'mon, she's out here."

Beth grabbed his hand and they were doing this like it or not.

"Maggie?"

The brunette looked up to see beth standing there with an older man with a mustache you couldn't miss and a nervous grin underneath it.  
Beth was silently willing him to turn on the charm as she grasped his left hand.

"I have to be honest, You are...not what I was expecting." Maggie said approaching the pair.

"If we're being honest, your sister wasn't something I expected either and everything changed after I met her."

Maggie covered her mouth with her hand as the two gazed at eachother.

"You care about her?" She finally asked.

"That's actually how we met...I rescued her actually." Simon replied.

Beth bit her lip as she looked up at him.

"Rescued?" Maggie cried. "Beth, what did you need rescuing from?"

"I told you the kids are mean here!" Beth piped up making simon chuckle.

"Its true." He added.

"Does that mean that you intend to protect my sister if I let her stay?"

"Absolutely." Simon replied, placing his arm around beth now.

Maggie's face softened now.

"Then It was nice to meet you, simon." She said offering her hand.  
He shook it after grinning at beth just as his walkie went off and he heard Dwight's voice.

"I'm sorry, this is urgent." He explained looking down at beth before turning to maggie. "I'm glad we got to meet. If this wasn't work I would stay and chat all day, I really would."

Maggie nodded. "No, trust me. Taking work seriously is another high mark in my book."

Simon grinned, pointing at her. "Good to know. Bye, bethy." He said dropping a kiss on her forehead and took off.

Beth's eyes lit up as she bounced back over to Maggie who was already sitting back down.

"Really? I can stay?"

Maggie sighed, leaving her hanging for a moment.

"Yes. You can stay."

Beth reached over and gave her a big hug.  
When Maggie pulled back she took her hands in hers.

"Do you love him?"

"So much."

 

\-----

 

"Dad, I never expected...a guy."

Rick chuckled as he came over to sit next to Carl

Daryl had stepped out to let father and son have some time alone.

"Yeah...me either." Rick admitted.

"You...like him? A lot?"

Rick looked happier than Carl had ever seen him.

"Yes...so much."

"I'm happy you met him."

"I'm happy I did too."

Carl thought for a second about him and negan and wondered if there would ever be a time where he could tell his dad how happy he was too.

Not today.

"That's what I forgot to tell you." Rick said. "Mr.Horvath's daughter Andrea called me yesterday mornin'. Dale woke up from the coma. He's doing ok but he had no memories of the accident. He couldn't place you at the scene."

Carl smiled, relieved that the man was going to be alright.

"We went to the hospital to talk with Andrea but all Shane did was flirt with her." Rick rolled his eyes.

"What the hell? I thought he was with mom!"

"He is, Carl. And watch your language. I have known your godfather for over thirty years. I'm not surprised and honestly it's not my problem anymore. I'm with Daryl. It might sound harsh but if he isn't loyal to your mother, that's their business to deal with."

Carl eventually nodded. "He's not my godfather anymore..."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Carl, please. I don't want us to have this kind of relationship. I want you to be able to talk to me."

Carl sighed.  
It would be so easy to just blurt out what Shane did.  
Maybe now that he wasn't as keen on Shane, rick would believe him.

"Dad, I have something-"

A loud wailing alert sounded through the building cutting Carl off.

Rick opened the door to see everyone rushing out of the building and out into the main area of the camp outside.

Carl watched as rick went straight over to Daryl while he stopped and looked around for negan.  
He saw him over talking with sherry and headed over there.

"What happened?" Carl asked.

"We don't know." Negan said, irritation clear in his voice.

"Someone pulled the fire alarms. We don't know who." Sherry added walking over to Dwight who looked like he'd just raced over.

"You OK?" Negan asked, running a hand over his arm quickly so no one noticed.

"Yeah...I'm just gonna go say goodbye to my dad. He'll probably leave soon."

"He's welcome to stay but no one can go back in the buildings until the staff clears them."

"Alright, thanks. I'll see you later." Carl said walking off.

 

"Everything, OK?" Rick asked, letting Daryl go as Carl walked up.

"Yeah, I'm sure its just one of the campers pranking everyone." Carl answered just as a blonde blur came racing over and leaping at him from the side.

"Hey!" Carl beamed at beth, hugging her back.

"Are you OK? Simon told me what happened. Can I see it?" 

Carl chuckled. "Yeah, you can come with me to the infirmary later while I have it changed if you want?"

Beth nodded, noticing Daryl and Rick.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were still visitin'."

"That's OK. Beth, this is my dad rick and his...Daryl."

Rick actually chuckled offering her his hand.

"Nice to meet you, beth. We've heard a lot about you."

Beth giggled still holding onto Carl and finally looking at Daryl better.

"Daryl Dixon?!" She cried running forward to hug him.

"Beth Greene? How you been?" He asked as Carl and rick just stood there confused.

"I'm great!" Beth said. 

"How did you end up here?" Daryl asked. "Too much peach schnapps?"

Beth blushed, punching his arm.

"No! Its a long story though...one I do not want to get into right now."

"Uh, beth? How do you know daryl?"

"He did some work for my Dad, at the farm a few years ago! I never thought I'd see you again!" Beth giggled.

"Wow, small world." Carl said as they all chuckled at how true that was.

"There you are beth!" Maggie said as she came over to the group. "Oh my gosh, Daryl Dixon?"

Everyone laughed.

"We just went through this." Carl explained.

"How've you been? And what are you doin' here?"

"I came with rick to see his son Carl."

Maggie smiled, remembering the boy.

"How've you been Carl, my goodness what happened to your eye?" Maggie gasped. "I'm sorry, that was so rude of me."

Carl glanced at beth. "No, its fine. It's a...long story." He said turning to rick. "Maggie, this is my dad."

Maggie smiled and shook his hand. "Maggie Rhee."

"Rick Grimes." He said with a smile.

"Grimes?" She asked seeming lost in thought before it hit her and she turned to Carl.

"I delivered your little sister! I remember you guys!"

Beth and Carl shared a look remembering when they had this conversation.

"Lori and I are divorced now." Rick explained right away. not wanting to hurt Daryl's feelings. "Carl's sister isn't my daughter but we all love little Judith."

Carl smiled at the mention of her as his dad and Maggie chatted for a few more minutes before the girls walked off to say goodbye for now.

Carl answered a few more concerns his dad had and eventually rick stepped forward to hug Carl long and tight.

"I love you, ok? You call me if you need anything or if you want to come home or...anything."

Carl smiled. "I know, dad."

He turned to Daryl then and surprised the man with a hug.

"It was nice to meet you, Daryl." Carl said as he let go and smiled. "Thanks for making my dad happy."

Daryl blushed and stuttered. "Nice to meet you too, Carl."

Carl waved as they left and he let it sink in as he watched them walk away and their fingers swung together, brushing to feel the closeness of each other.

Carl let a small smile fade over his lips as it reminded him of him and negan as he headed towards the infirmary.

 

\-----

 

With each step simon took heading over to the boy's side of the camp, he had to put everything with beth and her sister behind him and focus on this.

The moment he heard his radio go off, he knew something had been found and he tried not to think of the ways negan was going to punish him when he found out.

The second in command at the camp made his way up the hill trying to tell himself that this was a good thing he was doing and something that negan would never do therefore he would never find answers.

When simon got to the entrance to the boy's cabin area, he noticed Gavin standing out in the main area, holding something wrapped up in a white cloth.

"Which cabin?" Simon asked.

Gavin raised his eye brow.

"Which one do you think?"

"So do you want us to take this to negan now?"

Simon reached out and took the package from Gavin, glancing under the cloth.

"Nah, I'll discuss this with him later and let him know this was all me. I promise you guys won't get the bat for this." Simon said. "Just go find the kid, lock him in the cell."

 

\-----

 

Later that night, after the days drama had settled, Negan smiled to himself as he glanced over at Carl all peaceful and cozy, asleep in his bed.  
It was probably the third time that night he'd turned from the sink and looked at him to make sure he was comfortable and...still there.  
He couldn't believe that he still actually wanted to be there.  
With him.

The second he turned back to focus on washing the dishes, he heard a knock on the door.

At 10:30 at night? 

Negan sauntered over to the door, grabbing his bat and opened it to see his best friend standing there with his signature grin and stance, hands on his hips.

"I didn't want to bother you when I know you just brought Carl back here...but I did something you're not gonna like and I wanted you to hear it from me."

Negan stared at the man in silence, making simon slightly nervous.

"What now? Please tell me beth isn't pregnant."

Simon chuckled nervously. 

"No...well, I sure hope not...I mean, not that I would mind-"

"Get to the point, Si." Negan said, stepping out onto the porch and pulling the door to so they wouldn't wake up Carl.

Simon didn't really want to speak first but he thought maybe if he just blurted it out, like ripping off a bandaid.

"I...conducted a 'mid-camp search of the cabins'." He said, looking away from the slightly taller man.

"Simon, why would you do that?! I stopped that years ago! It's an invasion of their privacy!"

Simon rubbed a finger over his forehead. 

"I know, I know! But you know I've been trying to bring it back simply because you really don't know if you can trust these kids. I'm not being judgemental I'm just stating the facts here!"

Negan sighed, seeing that this was actually going somewhere important.

"But before you get upset and think of a horrible punishment for me, hear me out...Guess what was found in Ron Anderson's cabin while he was at the family meeting."

Negan felt ice cold anger flash through his veins as knew exactly what this was about.

Simon pulled out a wrapped up thing from the back of the waistband of his pants and undid the cloth to reveal a rough, beat up, gun.

He watched negan glare darkly at the object that had just almost taken Carl's life and his eye.  
They knew who it belonged to.  
There was no guesswork involved.  
He could stop wondering if it was the intruder or he'd even considered maybe someone on the staff.  
Not anymore.

Negan's fingers closed dangerously around Lucille as that look shown so clearly in his eyes.

"Anderson's in lock up." Simon explained. "I had Gavin put him up in solitary after I found it so we can deal with him. Take care of Carl tonight. This can wait."

It took him a minute and another glance in through the crack in the door at the sleeping boy to get him to agree.  
Carl needed him tonight.

"You're right." Negan finally admitted, trying to shake off the tension by taking a practice swing or two of Lucille in the air imagining Ron's head.

"Hey...how's beth?" Negan asked suddenly and simon was surprised but glad.

"She's good. She's settled in in my cabin just like you said."

"I love how the only orders you have no problem following correctly are the ones that involve your girlfriend." Negan teased.

"That's not...entirely true." Simon chuckled. "But just like you don't mind if the rules are blurred if it has to do with Carl."

Negan grinned so simon knew he wasn't in trouble for saying that.

"Thank you for not referring to him as my boyfriend."

"Well, one, I knew you weren't ready for that and two, I didn't want to get a face full of Lucille."

Negan shook his head, letting out another laugh.

A wave of comfortable silence fell between them.  
They both knew what was ahead and neither wanted to deal with it at this hour.

"Tomorrow?" Simon finally spoke.

Negan nodded.

"Tomorrow.


	21. Eye for an eye

"Are you OK?"

Negan let out a sigh across the table as Carl asked the one question he didn't want to answer.  
He knew they were close enough now since they spend almost every minute together that he feared Carl would notice something.  
He noticed when Carl was different or distant so why would he not see it in him too.

"Yeah...I just don't want to leave you for the lesson today."

Carl smiled but held a hand over his patch, clearly moving those muscles hurt.

"I don't mind. I have one eye not...one arm!"

Negan chuckled, standing and taking their plates over to the sink so he could get out of Carl's focus.

"I'm pretty self sufficient." Carl reminded him.

Negan came back to kneel beside his chair and rubbed up and down his spine like he had done a couple hours ago as they lay awake in bed.

"I know you are. I've said it before and I mean it, you are a badass and badasses don't need babysitting. That's not what I'm trying to do. I don't want to leave you to do the lesson because I don't want to be away from you."

Carl blushed. "Oh,"

Negan leaned in for a kiss hoping all of that would distract him for a little while before standing back up and grabbing his bag and Lucille. 

"I'll be back around two. If you're hungry by then, there's more food around. Just look for it."

Carl grinned again and let out a pained sound as negan walked out the door.

"And stop smiling!"

 

\-----

 

Beth's arm clamped tighter around Simon's waist as he tried to get out of bed.  
She was clearly not going to let him leave.  
He sighed as he wanted to tell her that he didn't really want to leave either but he had no choice.  
He had a job to do.

"No." She demanded, feeling his firm chest shake under her touch from chuckling.

"Negan is going to be mad if I cancel my lesson." Simon groaned. "And he'll know exactly why I did it too."

Beth buried her face farther into his shoulder.

"Mr.negan knows about us. Maggie knows. Everyone's OK with this!"

Simon chuckled again. 

"I don't know if I'd go that far to say that yet...When negan moved you in here, it was to keep you safe. I don't think he meant; stay in bed all day with beth and ignore your responsibilities."

Beth smiled up at him and pulled the sheets down just far enough to where he could see she never got back up last night to put on clothes.

"Yeah, but maybe you could be just a little...late?" She whispered in his ear.

Simon growled and flipped her over on her back, leaning in for a kiss just as his walkie talkie went off.

'Simon, I know you're up...probably doing some freaky deaky with your new room mate. Listen, don't bother coming out for anything today. I canceled your lesson. Just do what ever you like...or whoever, I should say...and by the way, good morning, miss beth.'

Beth blushed so fiercely as if negan could see the position they were in right through the speaker.

"Uh...you sure?" Simon asked pressing the button on the radio trying to ignore all the embarrassing things negan said.

'Yep, I'll need you more later on, remember?'

Simon knew what that meant. 

"Alright, neg...see ya later then."

Beth giggled loudly as simon yanked her closer and adjusted the sheets around them both.

"Guess we do get to have some fun after all..."

 

\-----

 

Negan glanced at the clock on the wall as he was finally almost finished with his lesson.

"And you see...the point of acting out is you're only hurting yourself." Negan addressed the class as he brought his lesson to a close. "Does anyone have any questions?"

As usual it was a long silence.

"No? Alright, then that concludes today's lesson."

As all the kids gathered their things and headed out as quick as they could, negan turned to the large boards behind him and began to clean it off not seeing that someone had stayed behind.

He wasn't sure why he hadn't seen it coming.  
He thought everyone left, he was gathering his stuff now and felt something touch his arm.

He grasped the hand firmly, Lucille in the other and turned to see Enid's stunned face.

"Did you need something, miss Nacon?" He asked through gritted teeth, in a sharp tone causing her to stammer. 

"Because if you did, there are much more appropriate ways of going about it. Ones that won't land you in a whole lotta trouble with me."

Enid visibly swallowed but didn't back off, she replaced her hand on his arm and jutted her hip out, trying again.

"First, I was wondering if you'd seen Ron around by any chance? I haven't seen him."

Negan didn't even look at her or miss a beat as he replied.

"He's gone, miss Nacon. I sent him away from camp because he's caused too much trouble."

She seemed surprised but didn't press further on the matter.

"And two, I was thinking...if there was anyway I could maybe get a private lesson with you?"

Negan didn't even bother hiding his exasperation.  
The girl was so damn obvious, it wasn't even funny.

"Well, I could. But that would be inappropriate, wouldn't it? And pointless. Miss Nacon, it's not like there is going to be a test or anything...this is camp." He pointed out. 

He didn't want to deal with this today.  
He had a lot on his mind and he just wanted to go back to Carl for a little while, maybe even take a nap before more pressing things came up.

"Would it be inappropriate?" She asked innocently, leaning closer. "You know, mr.negan...I think I could do something for you too...in return? Just like Bethany Greene is doing for Mr.Simon? Or were you not aware of their little meetings?"

Negan held up the hand holding the bat and rested the wire wrapped end on his shoulder.  
He had no patience for her today or ever but when he had so much on his mind it was so much more annoying.

"Miss Nacon, I know EVERY SINGLE DAMN THING that goes on at the sanctuary because it's MY CAMP! I believe I have warned you time and time again about speaking to me inappropriately! I am on my VERY LAST warning with you! If you are so bold as to approach me again with intentions that are very much prohibited on my property then I will have no choice but to call your parents and send you home!" 

Enid nodded and took off out the door, proving unable to handle Negan's intensity after all.

 

\-----

 

When negan left again that evening, Carl was left to his own devices.   
He'd showered, eaten some chips and was now flopped across the bed wondering how long a talk with the security team really took.

As soon as he noticed Negan's phone sitting on the nightstand, Carl figured he'd left it there all this time for him to look at Judith if he wanted.  
Carl wondered what she might be doing right now as he grabbed it and pulled up the photo from Negan's images.  
He hoped she was as happy and safe as she was when the picture was taken.

He had an idea of what she could be in for with having Shane for a Dad and shuddered just thinking about it.  
It was one thing if his mom and Shane were a thing, that he could live with but Shane being responsible for his little sister was gut wrenching.  
The man had no compassion or parental instinct.  
Hell, he himself would make a better father than he would.

All these thoughts really made him want to talk to rick again and he wondered how he and Daryl were doing.  
He hoped Daryl was making him happy and they were taking care of each other and...

And he literally never in a million years imagined his dad with another man but he was thrilled.

Carl smiled to himself as he focused on the image of Judith again and flipped back through the pictures knowing negan had taken more than just one of her that day.   
He flipped back a little too far and noticed a picture of a document for the camp.  
Carl had never been the nosy type but something made him look more closely and saw that it was signed, Morgan Dean.

 

\-----

 

As the gravel and leaves crunched underneath Negan's boots, the tension that had been building since last night was rising fast and hot.  
It was boiling over into the surface of his mind and was proving difficult for him to separate the images of Carl and his current plan out of his mind when what he was about to do was all for him.  
He couldn't go back now.  
Not when he'd made up his mind.  
Everything Anderson had done to Carl since he got here was leading up to this.

If it had just been some idiotic ass of a prank that he usually pulled every year, that would be different.  
He could let that go.  
He could punish him by throwing him in lock up or kick him out of camp and not allow him to return.

But for Carl?

For Carl, this had to be done.

Ron Anderson shot him.

He could've- 

No. 

Negan couldn't even let his mind wade out into the dark current of what-if's when it came to the incidents between Carl and Ron.  
How many times Carl could've actually lost his life during all of Anderson's stupid 'harmless' tricks.  
All the awful times where Ron's hatred for him almost turned into him losing the one person he's cared for in a very long time.

The spider.

The snake.

The lake.

The gun.

Negan snarled as he stomped up the steps and threw open the door to see the blonde terror, glaring at him from his seat.  
Simon had restrained him just as he'd asked and the kid wasn't going anywhere.

Ever.

Negan let out a low whistled tune as he sauntered through the door and slowly closed it behind him.

"Mr.Anderson...Do you know why I wanted to see you this evening?"

Ron just kept the same hateful gaze on him, silence filling the room.

"One of my campers was recently shot here...I was wondering if you had any clue as to who the hell had a pistol on my property it would be greatly appreciated."

Ron pretended to think for a moment and then shrugged as negan walked around behind him swinging his bat back and forth beside him.

"Any information would be nice..."

"I don't know." Ron rolled his eyes. "I have no clue."

"Really?" Negan raised a brow leaning down. "None?"

Ron shook his head just as negan pulled out something from the back of his pants and recognition flashed in Ron's eyes before he could stop himself.  
If that wasn't enough of an answer for negan then the way the boy's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously, was.

"You see that's funny, because my people found this in your cabin."

"That's...not-its not mine!" Ron stuttered out, skidding his feet on the floor as he tried to back away but couldn't.

"It's not?" Negan gave a condescending grin. "You sure about that? 'Cause either something's in your cabin because it's yours, or it's stolen...did you steal this? Cause that's a whole other ball game."

Ron shook his head rapidly.

"Once again, that's funny, Mr.Anderson, you see the bullet that Dr.Carson removed from Carl Grimes, matched this pitiful thing perfectly. It could not have been more perfect if I had pulled it from the plot of an episode of a prime time crime show! And not only was this found in your cabin, cabin seven, it was found under your mattress. Care to explain that?"

"You sure some else didn't put it there?" Ron asked and it was a obvious it was last ditch effort.

"We're pretty damn fucking sure!" Negan growled, standing straight up and moving around behind the kid again so he couldn't see him.

"Why'd you think it was me, huh? Why not some other guy here?"

 

\-----

 

Carl probably stared at the photo of the document for twenty minutes before he jumped a mile, hearing a knock at the door.

Carl shut the screen off and crept over and peered out, knowing Negan wouldn't be knocking on his own door.  
Seeing a nervous looking beth, standing on the porch, he opened it quickly and the blonde rushed inside and hugged him.

"I heard a creepy sound outside and I figured you were here so..."

Carl smiled, hugging back. "Yeah, I'm here." 

He wasn't really sure if Negan wanted someone else in his cabin but it was beth.  
He'd have to deal with it, It wasn't like he was throwing a party.  
He invited her to sit on the window seat and closed the door, locking it back up.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Carl asked.

When he didn't get and answer he turned back to see Beth taking in the fact that she was in the leader's cabin.

"Beth?"

"Oh, sorry. No, thank you." She smiled, wiping her sweaty hands on her leggings.

"You OK?" Carl asked sitting down with his can of soda.

"Yeah, just nervous over there without Simon."

"Where is he?"

She shrugged.

"Don't know. Off with Mr.negan I guess since you probably wouldn't have let me in if he was here."

"That's not true. If you need to come here to be safer, I'm sure negan wouldn't mind."

Carl really started to wonder what negan was up to so late that he also needed simon for.  
It couldn't be good.  
He knew he wouldn't pull the guy away from beth for no reason.

The name on the document he'd just found was really starting to get to him and Beth poked him to get his attention as he was the one zoning out now.

"Where'd you go?" Beth giggled.

"Sorry...just wondering what they're up to." Carl admitted.

Beth nodded. "Yeah, me too but I figure if they don't want to tell us then we don't want to know."

Carl chuckled but that wasn't true for him.  
He did want to know.  
He wanted to know everything about negan.  
Good.  
Bad.

If he was Morgan Dean?

Carl took another sip from his drink as Beth changed the subject to what they might have for dinner tomorrow.  
He nodded as she went on but he really couldn't keep his mind off of Negan or what he could possibly be doing.

 

~

 

Simon cursed under his breath as he saw Carl and Beth walking up the path where he was guarding the empty cabin around the corner.  
Carl had a determined look on his face and Beth seemed anxious as she followed him.

"Maybe we should go back." Simon heard Beth say to the boy.

Carl shook his head. "No. Simon's right there. He'll know."

They bickered until they got up to the man and Beth immediately went to wrap her arms around his waist.

"What are you two doing out here? You're supposed to stay at the cabins. You can't go wandering like this with the intruder still around!"

"I came to find where negan was." Carl said. "And I didn't want to leave Beth by herself."

Simon smiled down at the girl in his arms.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't leave this one all alone but I'm going to have to ask you to go back to our cabins. You can't be here."

Carl raised a brow at the man.  
He was getting suspiciously antsy.  
Negan didn't want anyone around here.   
That was obvious.

"Why not? Where's negan?" 

 

\-----

 

Negan's patience was wearing thinner by the second with each word this kid spoke.   
He had to keep it together.  
If he didn't wait for the very second that Anderson confessed, he'd have no reason for doing all of this.

"Who else would it be?!" Negan snapped in his ear slamming his fist on the table in front of them.

Ron scoffed and looked away from the intense, insane man.

"Maybe someone who was jealous of the way that disgusting idiot kisses up to you! Anyone here could be sick of him get special treatment! Getting...days off from class and what ever he wants!"

Negan huffed, rushing forward to grab the collar of his shirt.

"Don't you dare speak about Carl that way! Do you understand me?!"

Ron just rolled his eyes as negan had to step away from him for a minute to regain composure.

"Yeah, what was he doing at your cabin that late at night anyway?" Ron asked not realising his slip up, admitting that he'd seen them. "You fuckin' him?"

Negan pinched the bridge of his nose.

He was so close.

"Does he come to you...begging for you stick it in his ass or do you force him to without even asking like the creep you are?"

Negan walked slowly over to him and looked him dead in the eye, grasping a strong hand around his neck.

"So, You're saying you saw us that night together...the night Carl was shot?" Negan had a difficult time keeping his voice even and his temper down after what Ron had just boldly said to him.  
This was all about to be worth all of the trauma this kid had caused him, Carl and his property.

Ron choked out unrecognizable words until he let go and clammed up again, suddenly realizing his mistake.

"Oh, no..." Negan replied, putting on a pout. "Did you slip up?"

Ron shook his head slowly, panic setting in and Negan started to grin before that turned into a long, loud laugh.

"Admit it!" Ron snapped. "You're just putting on this show so you can protect your little boy toy! You're afraid you won't find another fag to stick your-"

"EVERYTHING I DO IS TO PROTECT CARL! I WOULD NEVER HURT CARL! EVER!" Negan shouted in his capture's face. "Since the first day he got here, you have threatened him! Over and over and tonight? Tonight, that's gonna end one way or another!"

 

"Fine..." Ron scoffed, looking away from the man as he spoke.   
"Yes...I'm the one who shot the gun! If I had been two inches over maybe the idiot would've died like I wanted and not just lost an eye. Happy now?"

The fire that ignited in Negan's eyes was missed by the boy in front of him.

Clearly he didn't take the man seriously.

Clearly that was a big mistake.

"Carl, thank god, is going to be just fine. You didn't even take out his eye. You fucking missed...but I fucking won't."

Negan raised Lucille and swung down hard hitting Ron right on the top of his head doing exactly as he promised.  
A loud crack as Blood ran down the left half of Ron's skull starting to leave a big mess that he was going to have to reimburse Simon for taking care of later.

Negan leaned down to be face to face with Ron.

"You still there?" Negan smirked at him. "I just don't know. It seems like you're trying to speak... but you just took a hell of a hit! I just popped your skull so hard your eyeball just popped out... and it is gross as shit!"

Negan took out his knife and cut Ron loose from the chair.  
It wasn't like he could get away now so what was the point.  
The blond fell to the ground in a weakened heap making the rest of this quite easy.

Ron's moaning and groveling weren't going to help him now and neither was his feeble crawling across the floor.

"You have hurt Carl for the last time! You were never going to get away with this! How about an eye for an eye? We'll call it even!" Negan shouted before bringing Lucille down hard on him once, twice, six times until there was nothing left but the rest of his body and a big dark red spot on the wood floor.

Negan stared for a moment at the scene.  
The satisfaction he got of seeing this guy gone so he could never hurt Carl again.  
He knew he needed to get out fast so simon could come in and get rid of this mess.  
He threw open the door to find Enid standing on the porch in front of him and all he could be concerned with was if she'd seen or heard any of what had just happened.

"What the shit?!" Negan exclaimed, loud, scaring her but not enough to turn around and leave like earlier.

"I followed you here...Mr.negan." The brunette said, sauntering right past him into the mostly empty cabin. "I figured...if I'm trying to get your attention then...third times the-"

"You realise you have tried with me way more than three times, miss Nacon! And I told you earlier I was on my very. Last. Warning."

Enid walked over to strut around the desk, attempting some sexy move that was really just pathetic.  
He was waiting for her to see it.  
Waiting for the moment he could...

It only took her two more steps forward and finally the piercing scream she let out was signal enough for him.  
One swing and Enid was on the floor, two she was dead and three a pool of nothing on the ground.

Negan stood up from his work, breathing hard and his eyes met blue ones staring back at him from the doorway.  
Carl came in slowly and walked over to what used to be Ron Anderson and Enid Nacon.  
He stared at the grotesque scene and looked at the dripping Lucille up to nervous yet dangerous brown eyes.

"You were supposed to stay in the cabin!" Negan tried to keep his tone steady but he was failing badly.

"I...I know..."

Negan stared back at the boy trying to figure out what he was feeling, thinking.

This was his reaction to him killing someone? Calm?

"Anderson admitted to shooting you...I...couldn't let him get away with it. Enid was just...at the wrong place at the wrong time."

Carl nodded.

"Listen, Carl, we will talk about this later. Go back to the cabin. You were never here. You never saw this, any of this."

Carl stared silently at the gruesome scene on the floor, unable to pry his eye away.

"Carl? Do you understand me?"

Carl nodded again, intensely this time and rushed back out into the night, hopefully back to the cabin.

 

\-----

 

Negan's gaze wasted no time in finding Carl when he walked through the door of the cabin.  
The younger man was on the bed, laying back against the pillows, seeming to have been deep in thought.  
He understood what could be going through Carl's mind right now after what he'd just witnessed.  
He knew he was lucky that the boy was even still speaking to him.

Negan had made sure he'd cleared his own head before he even stepped over the threshold because he knew he and Carl had a lot to talk about.  
It was late but he didn't want to go to bed angry or with this hanging between them.

Shutting the door quietly behind him, he walked over to the bed and sat down slowly as Carl sat up beside him.

Carl's eye looked almost aqua in the dim lamplight of the room when he finally met his uncovered one.  
There was something in it that he couldn't quite figure out.  
Something that he knew he'd have to dig deep for.

"Are you OK?" Negan asked since he sensed it. 

Carl actually chuckled.

"You're kidding? I'm not the one that just killed two people."

"Two people who would've hurt us. I did it to protect you." Negan said reaching over and taking his hand.

"I know..." Carl assured him.

"But?"

"No. No buts. I know why you did it. This doesn't hurt the trust I have in you. Actually, I think it made it stronger." Carl admitted. "Clearly the number one rule with you is; don't mess with Carl Grimes. I told you that I feel safe with you. I always have and I always will."

Negan chuckled too, feeling a little better now that Carl was willing to make this conversation lighthearted.

"That is actually true. I guess I'm going to have to change my camp rulebook now. Damn...I just adjusted it too."

Carl laughed louder now. "To what?"

"I had to remove rule number three; no camper-counselor relationships. I wouldn't want to be seen as a hypocrite now would I?"

Carl shook his head at negan.  
The man was unbelievable sometimes.

Negan leaned in for a kiss then and Carl met him the rest of the way, pressing his lips to his.  
Negan hummed into his mouth as the kiss grew longer and deeper and Carl started feeling it too.

The heat that was building up between them was unmistakable and Carl swung his leg over Negan's lap as he pulled him over, onto him.  
Carl whimpered as Negan slowly began stroking up his back and as smaller fingers found the older man's belt, he stood up and dumped Carl off and away from him.

"Sorry...I'm sorry. We shouldn't. Not like this." Negan said, pacing now, trying to cool off.

Carl seemed so hurt and confused, he couldn't even bear to look at him.  
He didn't want to upset him at all but he had to be the one to put a stop to this.  
He knew what Carl was feeling and that he wouldn't be able to use any self control.

"Did I do something wrong? Or...I understand if its just bad timing." Carl looked away, embarrassed.

"No, Carl. You didn't...I don't know if ever will be the right time." Negan whispered.

Negan had hated hearing that.  
He never wanted Carl to think it was something wrong with him.

The younger man sighed, sitting back down. "Then what? Why can't we?" 

Negan shook his head. "Look...it's been a long day. Let's just...go to bed."

"No!" Carl shouted. "Not until you tell me why you make me stay here every night and you'll barely touch me! We haven't talked about sex! I get it, you don't want me now with this ugly thing but-"

"I make you stay here?!" Negan responded. "No! I would NEVER force anyone to do anything they don't want to do! You can leave if you want to!"

Carl let out a loud huff hoping Negan wouldn't the tears brimming in his good eye. "Fine! I'll leave!"

Carl turned around, surprising Negan and walked right out the door, slamming it behind him, leaving the older man alone with the guilt and regret that was sinking in fast.


	22. For Negan. For Beth. For Lucille.

"Woah!"

Simon chuckled as Negan flinched at the loud tone he'd used when he answered the door, looking like hell.

"You...look like hell." Simon said, looking him over. "Actually, you look like something hell would answer the door to and say; 'my god...you look like hell!' "

The taller man cursed as he ignored the 'compliment' and let his best friend in at what ever ungodly hour this was.  
The bright light beaming in behind the man was unbearable and he forced the man inside just to get away from it.  
Stumbling over to the coffee pot, his eyes took in the clock on the counter as he poured himself a cup before offering the man one.  
Simon thanked him, waving his thermos at him to show he had that covered.

12:35pm

The mustached man observed with a raised brow as the taller man topped off his coffee with an inch of the rest of a bottle of whiskey, drinking half of his concoction before joining Simon at the small table.

"I haven't seen you look this bad since...gosh, probably our last year here as campers." Simon scratched his head remembering the first time they'd both taken their first sips from a bottle at the tender age of fourteen.

Negan slammed the mug down, the contents sloshing up to the rim but not quite spilling over.   
Negan poured the rest of the liquor into the mug, a firm frown on his face.

"I warned you never to mention that to me!"

Simon sighed. "Yeah, and besides what happened to Lucille, you never told me why I couldn't mention it."

Negan dug the pads of his thumbs into his forehead to try and calm the pounding he'd had in it since he woke up and realized that Carl was still not there beside him.

"I assume this ugly appearance is a result of Carl not being here?" Simon waited for an answer before he continued. "Or is it from what went down last night?"

"Carl didn't have a problem with what happened. He understood why I did it..."

Simon sat up, taking a sip from his own coffee. "So why isn't he here then?"

"...because."

"Because?"

Negan wasn't going to answer him.  
He wanted to tell him to fuck off and that this was none of his business.

That wasn't what friends did.  
And Simon, when it came down to it, was his only actual 'friend'.  
The only person who understood what it was like to be at the camp all those years ago.  
He knew everything.

Almost everything.

"What in the world did you possibly say to that wonderful kid to scare him away if he was fine with you killing two people?"

Negan laughed darkly and shook his head.

"I...couldn't." Negan finally said. 

"You couldn't what?"

"I just...couldn't. And it's not that I didn't want to! I did but...he'll never get it! You! You'll never get it! No one will ever understand!"

Simon held up his hands as Negan's temper raised.

"Neg, woah, woah! It's ok! I'm not trying to force you to talk, I just hate seeing you like this. If this is something between you and Carl, that's fine. Just say the word and I'll back off. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. You're not as alone as you'd like to think. If you want to talk about anything, ever, I'm all ears."

Negan lost himself in his memories of their last years at camp as silence fell between them.  
The things that happened, he never thought he'd be able to come back from.

Camp Hilltop.

"We used to call it...'helltop', remember?" Negan muttered.

"How we ended up back here, I will never know." Simon teased as he looked up to smile at Negan.

There wasn't any amusement in his eyes.

Sadness.

Pain.

Regret.

Nothing but darkness in the already dark brown and Simon stood, coming over to place his hands on his shoulder for comfort, feeling negan tense under his touch as his hand holding the coffee mug began to tremble.  
Maybe one day he'd be ready to tell him what happened to him here.

Maybe one day he could heal.

 

\-----

 

Beth sat down at lunch with a tray at the end of a long table, apart from the other girls, trying to ignore them since they always ignored her.  
She never had really made friends here except for Carl since they were the only two here.  
They had so much in common when they met.  
Mostly how neither of them really should be here but they were glad that they were anyway.

Neither would have met their loves if they hadnt.

The chatter in the mess hall was about to get unbearable as the room began to fill up and Beth started eatting faster so she could get out of there.  
When a certain name caught her attention in the girl's conversation, she perked up and listened in.

"Yeah, no one's seen her since." said the girl named Sophia.

"Who?" Her friend Ava asked. 

"Enid Nacon." Sophia replied. "All of us in cabin 9 think she had a hot night with Mr.Negan..."

The other girls gasped and some 'oooh-ed' as Beth choked on her bite of grilled cheese.

"Yeah, others said zombies got her!" Her other friend said, Beth heard her call her Bristol.

Sophia rolled her eyes. "I just can't believe she's still gone."

"guess he really likes her..."

Beth shook her head unable to process the latest gossip going around.  
She knew Carl would want to hear this and headed back towards Simon's cabin the second she finished eatting.

 

\-----

 

Carl's eyes barely opened farther than a squint as he was starting to become alert, laying right in the path of a beam from the sun on the pillow.  
The sharp, stabbing pain in his head that rivaled the level of nausea in his stomach was more than enough to make him want to ignore the brightness of the room and it made him want to just turn over and cuddle up to Negan's warm, strong chest and go back to sleep.

Even through the pain, he was starting to remember his last conversation with Negan and realized that there was no way the man was here with him.

He tried to move his arm to drape across the bed, thinking that pretending he was there might make him feel a little better and felt that his limbs were a lot stiffer than he remembered them being last night.  
Carl flopped back over, gaining a little more consciousness, realizing he wasn't just stiff, he couldn't move his arms at all.  
He couldn't pull them around to the front of him.  
His hands were literally tied.

He bolted up in the bed as fast as he could as all kinds of thoughts raced through his mind.

The first one being that was a big mistake.

He couldn't hold down the contents in his stomach any more and wretched all over the ground, between his feet.  
His heart beat quickening as it occurred to him the danger he was probably in.

Carl closed his eye as he felt dizzy all of a sudden as he recalled opening an old bottle of Jack Daniels he'd found there, in the abandoned cabin last night.

'I'm never drinking again.' He thought just as the door behind him opened and in walked an older man with grey hair, wearing a sort of casual suit.

If nothing else the man looked out of place at a camp.

"Oh, good...You're awake." The man said.

"Who the hell are you?" Carl spat, trying to keep his wits about him as another wave of sickness hit and the drilling headache he had was just starting up again.

The guy sighed. "That's a very good question, my boy." He replied, coming over to the front of Carl.

"I wouldn't get any closer if I were you." Carl said gesturing with his head to the nasty puddle on the floor. "And I'm not your boy!"

The man halted and made an 'ick' face, avoiding stepping in the mess by just taking a chair across from him.

"I am...an old friend of the camp...Camp Santana."

"That's not the name." Carl replied flatly.

"Camp Sagittarius...Sanderson?"

Carl shook his head at the man.

Another glare.

"San..."

"Sanctuary!" Carl snapped.

"Right! Camp Sanctuary! That's it."

"Who are you?" Carl bit out again, struggling against the ties. " if you were a friend to the camp why the hell did you tie me up?"

The man scratched his head, proving that he hadn't thought this through.

"Well...i, uh...wanted to surprise the leader."

"Negan? He's never mentioned you. Or I guess he hasn't, you haven't told me your name."

"You never told me yours either." The much older man retorted in an immature tone.

Carl set his eye, firm, daring. "You first." 

 

\-----

 

"How was your day?" Simon asked as Beth entered in the cabin in a rush.

"Good!" She grinned as he came over for a kiss. "except I have this crazy story to tell Carl about. There was a rumor about Mr.Negan going around at lunch!" 

She was heading back out the door when Simon grabbed her arm.

"Hold on, darlin'."

She paused, her big blue eyes looking curiously back at him and he took her hands in his now.

"You know, it's not really my place to tell you this but...Carl and Negan had a fight last night and aren't speaking. I don't know where Carl went. Negan said he went to an abandoned cabin to be alone. He thinks we should respect that too."

"Oh." Beth frowned, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Well, that's sad...I can't imagine fighting with you." 

"I know." Simon replied, running a hand over her hair. "What was the rumor about Negan?"

Beth giggled. "That he and Enid Nacon spent the night together. I guess they don't know he sent her home."

Simon's eyes widened as he remembered that Beth thought Negan had just called Enid and Ron's parents and sent home the two that bothered her and Carl for that reason. "Woah...he's not going to be happy about that. I really need to let him know that's going around. Do you mind if I tell him?"

"Nope! I didn't start it so he can't be mad at me, I'm just the messenger!"

Simon smiled, holding her closer. "Well, you might be mad at me in a minute because I have to go take over for Negan at dinner. He can't do it. He's too upset about this thing with Carl."

Beth sighed. "I'm not mad. I'll just miss you."

"I'll only be gone about an hour so you won't have to miss me too much. You know where the food is if you get hungry and If you leave the cabin please, please come back before dark."

Beth nodded on his chest before turning to look up at him for a kiss as he turned it into five or six kisses.

"Alright...I gotta go, darlin'. I love you." He finally said, letting go and grabbing his radio. "See you in a bit!"

 

\-----

 

A long painful sigh and more pushing around the food on his plate as he stared at the empty second chair and the full second plate he'd fixed.

Carl's plate.

Carl should be here now and Negan didn't really have an appetite as it got closer and closer to 24 hours without him.  
He hadn't eaten much more than the imaginary Carl had and pushed back, away from the table as he thought about last night for the tenth time.  
He'd wanted to give Carl space after their fight, deciding not to go tracking him down earlier because he wanted Carl to have time to think.

A part of him wanted to ditch his food and go looking for him now.  
It was almost dark and he really didn't want Carl to spend another night away from the safety and comfort of their cabin especially with the intruder still roaming around.

Negan stood, ready to walk out the door until he heard Carl in his head.

_'You make me stay here...'_

With a long, hard sigh, Negan just locked the door and prepared for another lonely night without Carl.   
He had plenty of those before they met so why was now any different.  
If he didn't want to be here than he certainly wasn't going to go out to drag him back here.

Negan ran on autopilot as he took out a t-shirt from the drawer and a pair of pajama pants since it was getting colder.  
He hated the thought of Carl only having his thin shirt he'd left in and as much as he had wanted to stop thinking about him, he knew that thought would plague him all night.

A little voice prodded that he ought to go find him, bring him a blanket.

Bring him home.

He tapped his fingers on the dresser drawer considering for a second before slamming it shut with the stubborn decision to wait for Carl to come to him.

Pulling the covers back to the empty bed, hurt more than anything and he faced away from Carl's side, not wanting to acknowledge his absence anymore than he already was.

 

\-----

 

It had taken Carl most of the day to figure out this man wasn't keen on revealing who he was.  
He'd paused when Carl wanted him to introduce himself first and hadn't spoken since.  
The man had left, came back and piddled around the cabin but It wasn't until Carl noticed the shadows on the curtains on the windows changing as the sun moved down, that he pulled Carl out of his thoughts with two words.

"I'm Gregory."

"Alright...I'm Carl."

Another few minutes of silence and Carl couldn't decide if he was getting talkative because he wanted some information or if he just didn't want it to be awkward silence anymore.

"You're a camper...correct?" this so called Gregory asked.

"I'm not telling you." 

Gregory sighed, standing up and began pacing the floor in front of him.

"I told you who I was!" 

Carl gave the man an odd look as he raised his voice at him for no reason.

"You actually didn't." He said. "all you said was that you wanted to surprise Negan. If you were his friend wouldn't you just walk right up to his office and knock on the door?"

"See...The thing is, I haven't seen him in over thirty years and-"

"So you tie up one of his people at his camp? You know, I don't have many friends but I don't treat them like this." Carl stood since his feet weren't tied, trying to wear down the man.

Gregory chuckled, forcefully dragging Carl over and pushing him to the chair, trapping him, a hand on each arm. "Look, boy, you don't know who you are talking to! This is my camp!"

"No it's not! It's Negan's!" Carl shouted.

"What did he tell you?" Gregory spat. "Did he tell you what an evil little hellion he always was? Or how once he grew up into more of a man he was never any better? Did he tell you how he tricked me?! Stole Camp Hilltop from me?!"

Carl stayed silent.

"I didn't think so." Gregory walked away to start pacing again as Carl contemplated running for the door as he turned his back and stared out the window.   
Even if he could make it he'd have no way of opening the door quickly.

Carl sighed, knowing he'd have to wait this out and keep distracting the man with his rants.

"Negan is an amazing leader! Why would you think you were better?"

"Because I got those kids to shape up! I taught them that they needed me! I showed them that I knew the way and they were never to say no to me!"

Carl's eyes narrowed as he remembered the night negan opened up about Lucille.   
He'd talked about a vile camp owner and how he'd lost his best friend because of him.

No. This couldn't be...

"You were the original leader here?" Carl asked, stunned at the revelation.

"Yes..." Gregory replied. "Until that bastard took it from me!"

That man was standing right in front of him and he hadn't even realised.  
He was clearly more dangerous than he looked and even as it set a deep fear in Carl it also made him want to drag him down to the lake and drown him just like he'd done to Lucille.  
He'd taken something from negan that he cherished and that could never be forgiven in his eyes.

"You think he doesn't do that? You think the kids don't obey him? They do."

Gregory laughed loud, it echoing off the mostly bare cabin walls.

"He's way too weak to give them what I did!" Gregory snapped, getting too close for comfort again. "He'd never learn to get the enjoyment I did out of being a counselor..."

Gregory reached up then and stroked over the left side of Carl's cheek.  
Carl cringed against the touch, staying still though so he wouldn't cause too much trouble.  
He had to let this man think he was cooperative so he had a chance of getting him off guard.

"You sure are a pretty thing..." The older man whispered, making Carl want to wretch all over again. "I bet you like boys...don't you? You do, I just know it."

"Like I'm going to tell you!" Carl bit out.   
He might be cooperative but he wasn't going to let this crazy creep exploit his personal feelings.  
What was he getting at anyway...

"you know, Carl...the kids here...they needed me." Gregory gave a small smile. "they loved me...and-and Morgan Dean took that from me!"

A flash of recognition released in Carl and he was glad that it was confirmed that that was Negan's real name.  
He wished Negan had told him himself but at least he knew now.

"I think he was trying to make things better." Carl pointed out.

"Yes. Of course he told you that." Gregory put his hands on his hips, pushing back his suit to reveal a large sharp knife.

Carl's eye caught a sight of it and began thinking of ways to get his hands on the thing.

"I'm telling you he stole this place from me! I tried everything! I even tried to make a deal with a wealthy farmer friend of mine and he didn't want to be a part of it. Greedy son-of-a-bitch. The only thing I got out of that was his cute, young daughter and I didn't even get that! Got away before I could show her how a man should treat her?" 

Carl couldn't hold back a disgusted expression as the story sunk in and he felt the connection.  
It had such familiarity to it and it didn't take long for a memory of Beth's stories to float into the forefront of his mind.  
A rush of ice cold tingling fear shot up his spine as it occurred to him why this all felt so familiar.

Not only was this guy the horrible man who ran the camp when Negan was young, this had to be the same man who'd attacked Beth at her home.

Carl struggled against the ties, despite the pain he still had in his ribs, wanting to bash this man's head in.  
He wished he had Lucille with him.  
He'd do it right here.  
Right now.

"How could you hurt them!" Carl screamed.

"I never hurt anyone!" Gregory chuckled awkwardly, walking over and touching him again with a hungry look in his eyes. "Any story you've heard from your precious leader is a damn lie!"

Carl fought back his burning hatred, taming it for now as he jerked away from the man this time.

"Now you are going to do as I say or I'll show you how I got those kids in line when I was leader!"

Carl stopped talking and struggling, knowing what that probably meant. He didn't want to appease this creep but to save his strength for when he could escape him.  
He had to get out of this alive.

For Negan.

For Beth.

For Lucille.


	23. This used to be someone's cabin

The room went in and out of focus as Carl's eyelid fell closed for only a second before he jerked back awake, shifting to sit more upright in the chair.

Carl's spine and tender ribs cried out in agony as he felt the effects of the constraints that he'd had on for over 24 hours.  
He had really hoped by now, that he would have seen a chance to make an escape but the man never left him alone last night and was the lightest sleeper.  
The only thing Carl had managed, was getting his hands to the front of himself and that resulted in Gregory returning from the other room and tying his feet with an even thicker ziptie than the one on his wrists.

The biggest struggle now was staying awake.

He wasn't about to fall asleep and become vulnerable in front of this creep.

Carl felt bile rise in his throat as he thought about the way the man offered him the bed last night and the way his eyes trailed over his body.  
There was not a chance in hell he was going to risk being in an attack-able position so he had demanded the chair instead.

Staying alert wasn't too hard now though when his stomach growled loud enough to keep him up.  
He hadn't eaten in so long that he didn't think he would even know how if he had food in front of him not to mention his throat was unbearably scratchy.

Carl sighed as he glanced out though a crack in the curtains and the sheet of dust that covered the glass, out onto the campgrounds.

Negan...

He decided Negan probably wrote him off and didn't even care about him anymore.  
He'd had his chance.  
Negan was through.

Carl hated the tears that stung his eyes as he thought about how upset he was when they last spoke.  
There was no way he was looking for him or even cared and it hurt because all Carl wanted was to break out of here and run right into Negan's arms.  
He dreamt of begging Negan to just lay with him in bed all day or hold him and never let go.

If he just closed his eyes he might be able to believe he was really there with him.

Those deep, dangerous brown eyes, that knee weakening smile, his warm, strong arms...

Another wave of fatigue hit as he lost himself in his fantasies for a second before his head jerked back again and he blinked as Gregory came into focus.

"sleep well?" The old man asked, rubbing over his face with a loud yawn as Carl noticed he'd been staring for those few seconds he was out.

Carl scoffed, giving the man a look that hopefully would make him stay away as he forced all those wonderful memories back into the box in the back of his mind.

"You not talking today or what?" Gregory asked.

"You gonna let me go today or what?" Carl retaliated.

Gregory got off the bed and stumbled over to the window and glanced out nervously before going over to the corner of the room and rummaging through a cardboard box.  
The man talked under his breath to himself as he pawed through whatever the contents were, Carl keeping a close eye on him the whole time.

He had to focus on every move the man made in case he decided to make a move on him.

 

\-----

 

"What the...shit."

If Negan looked like hell yesterday than he definitely felt it today.

He rubbed over his stinging eyes as he glanced over at the clock to see that he'd only had two hours of sleep and he couldn't bear the thought of laying there alone any more.  
These two nights without Carl were excruciating and his pride was giving up fast on having the higher ground.

He heard the pitter-patter of rain outside his window, on the roof and on the porch and wondered if it was a sign.  
It was much like the morning of a day that he wanted to forget.

His brain began torture him as thoughts of Carl floated in and out of his mind as he struggled to fix a pot of coffee and turn it on.  
He wished he'd just stopped him that night when he had the chance because being apart like this was worse than anything.  
He didn't think he could do this much longer and pondered going out to look for him.

His wonders turned to worries as he really thought about Carl all alone, not eatting, either out of stubbornness or lack of leaving where ever he'd found to get food.  
Not drinking, not sleeping, not having a safe, dry place to be...

It was like a switch flipped and he wasn't mad at him anymore.

It was in him, He needed to find him.

To pull him into his arms and tell him...

 

\-----

 

"You know they spotted the intruder on the recording again last night?"

Sherry nodded as Dwight came over to kiss her good morning.

"Yeah, I had Amber come stay in our cabin since you were helping with security. I figured we'd be safer together and since Mark was away last night too..."

Dwight gave her an odd look.

"What was Mark away from camp for?"

"Inventory, I think." Sherry replied. "I heard Negan say something about a mix up with food delivery and that he'd have to send some of you guys to pick up the right things instead, I thought he was sending you but I guess not."

Dwight nodded only half registering since he hadn't gotten any sleep last night.

"I just can't figure out how they haven't caught the guy yet." He said, leaning on the desk edge. "It's like this creep knows the camp or something."

Sherry shuddered. "I can't take this much longer." 

The phone rang and sherry picked it up before saying her spiel.

"No, sir, I'm sorry, we're still not taking calls...For Carl Grimes? No, everyone is fine we're just taking precautions. I can give him another message if you want?"

Sherry shook her head and set the phone down on the base as the guy cussed her out and hung up.

"Who was that?" Dwight wondered, having heard the loud mouth from across the room.

"Carl Grimes's godfather. He won't stop calling! I'm about ready to get a restraining order for the kid!"

Dwight chuckled.

"It's not funny!" She cried. "He's annoying, he's mean, rude and he's the only repeat call I've had! It's like he's obsessed with him and I want to know why but on the other hand I want to stay out of it because it's really none of my business."

Dwight came over and pulled her into his arms.

"How about I go get us a bite from the mess hall and we can have lunch here together before I go back to the cabin to get some sleep?"

Sherry smiled, feeling a bit better now. 

"That sounds great...grab some pretzels and beer while you're there, we're out."

Dwight gave her a knowing grin before heading off.

 

\-----

 

"I need to use the bathroom." Carl said trying to sound urgent and not awkward.

Gregory turned from what he was doing, seeming as if he hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Uh...just go in the corner or something."

Carl's lips turned up in a disgust.

"No!" Carl cried. "This used to be someone's cabin!"

Gregory rolled his eyes, hesitant to grant him this request.

"Just cut the ties on my feet. It's not like I can get very far anyway since you have all the doors locked and my hands tied."

The old man just stood there staring into space, debating if he'd rather clean up the mess this would make or just let the kid use the bathroom.  
When he came over to clip the zip ties, Carl figured the answer was obvious.  
As much as he wanted to kick the man in the teeth and run, he didn't want to try any moves that weren't thought through and waste his chance at a good escape.

Gregory yanked him up into a standing position, making Carl stumble from the dizziness from dehydration and dragged him into the small, dimly lit bathroom.

"You're not staying in here!" Carl spat as Gregory stared at him.

Pervert.

Gregory scowled, slamming the door shut.

"Fine! Knock when you're finished! And you better not be in there long!"

Carl flipped the lock before even trying to figure out how to undo his pants with lack of mobility of his fingers and after he did and had relieved himself, Carl sat down on the floor, next to the sink.

He wanted a few moments to himself to think without having the man hovering over him.   
There had to be a way out of this.  
Other people got away from this man and lived to tell so why couldn't he?

Lucille didnt.

Carl's heart felt heavy as he thought about her and how she probably suffered the most at the hands of this man.  
This woman he didn't even know who's spirit seemed to be every where here at the camp and pushing him and Negan together.

'What do I need?' He thought.

Carl tapped his foot on the floor, trying to stretch his toes as he wracked his tired brain for ideas.   
The board under his heel made a clunky sound as it shifted under his shoe.  
He tried again, harder this time and the whole board lifted up before dropping back into place.  
Carl took in a quick breath and scrambled to get on his knees and manoeuvre the board up and over between his fingers.  
He looked down into the dark hole, looking for something, anything that would help.  
The light from the one naked light bulb caught something deep in there and Carl reached in and pulled out an old shoebox, jumping a mile as he heard Gregory call from outside and rattle the door.

"Are you done yet?!"

"I'm gonna need a few more minutes!" 

He heard Gregory grumble and walk away so he could relax again.

His heart pounded as he lifted the lid and stared down at a bunch of weird nothing.  
Odds and ends - but they all seemed to have something about them.

The first thing he really looked at was a worn baseball that was grubby and losing some stitching but had faded words on it that he could barely make out.  
The second were two red fabric bracelets that seemed so familiar to him.  
A tarnished heart shaped locket with a broken clasp.  
a few old pictures - one of a boy in front of a building that looked like Negan's office, one of a girl laying on a picnic table and one of the girl and a different boy out by the front lake.

A few more plastic trinkets littered the bottom of the box but on the very bottom was a letter with a name on the outside in lovely cursive writing.

Negan.

All it said was Negan.

Carl felt fluttering in his stomach as he ran his fingers over the writing on the envelope and decided that he wasn't about to read Negan's letter no matter how much he wanted to.  
Carl picked up the locket again and turned it over, seeing a fancy L engraved on the back.

Picking up the baseball, he turned it into the light and slipped his eye covering off and squinted until he could make out the words; property of Negan.  
Carl heard the floor creak outside the door again and pulled his covering back on and quickly threw everything back in the box, hiding it away before getting up and knocking to let Gregory know he was done.

He didn't even hear the man's complaining as the thoughts that rushed through his mind were unimaginable.

He knew where he was now, who's cabin this was.

This cabin was Lucille's.

 

\-----

 

"You ok?"

Beth turned to look down at Simon who'd finally woken up.  
They had fallen asleep again after a passionate 'good morning-afternoon' kiss turned into another passionate round between the sheets.

She hadn't really even noticed he was awake now since she was too lost in thought.

"Yeah..." Beth said low, messing absentmindedly with a string on the blankets.

Simon reached over and ran a hand up and down her bare spine as she turned to look out the window again.  
He gave her a few minutes to see if she would decide to tell him on her own.

"Somethin's wrong...I feel it." She finally said. "Somethin' with Carl."

"How do you know?" He asked gently, sitting up and slipping his arms around her waist as the rain outside beat on the glass.

Beth leaned her head in her hands.

"I'm not sure. I just...know."

Simon frowned, pressing a kiss to her shoulder, hating how unsettled she felt.  
It reminded him of a memory of a long time ago and he wanted her to know he believed her.

"You know...that reminds me of an old friend. You've heard us talk about Lucille?"

Beth nodded, leaning back against his bare chest, linking their fingers playfully.

"She always had a good gut feeling about stuff...She always knew when the food fight was gonna happen and when a camper was leaving and one night she...came to me and told me she had this weird feeling about Negan."

Beth's brow creased as she turned to look at him.

"She felt like he was...in trouble...you know to this day I still don't know what happened to him that night. That was the night Lucille died though."

"I'm glad you believe me...I just don't know what to do about it."

"I do...but I'm sure Carl's fine. He's tough."

 

\-----

 

"Can I just walk around for a minute?" Carl asked as Gregory pointed to the chair as soon as he came out. "Just right here?"  
Carl gestured to the right side of the bed where there was a small space. "You can even stand by the door and block it if you don't trust me."

"Fine...demanding little brat." Gregory muttered, reminding Carl of someone he knew.

Carl paced back and forth for a few minutes before Gregory told him that was enough.

His heart quickened as he watched for a moment to get a jump on the older man but no such luck.  
Gregory seemed to be smart enough to not give him that kind of chance.  
Even when he re-tied his feet, he stood to the side so Carl couldn't kick him in the mouth like he deserved.

"You need to eat something." The man said as if he were suddenly all concerned.

Carl wasn't about to take any food from the man.

Not even as his stomach begged for something, anything.

Gregory pulled out a container of some rotten dish that he couldn't even make out.

"I snuck this from the mess hall a day or so ago. You can have some if you like?"

Carl's brow raised so high above his forehead and his lips turned up in disgust.

"No, thank you." Carl replied firmly.

The man sighed.

"How about these, protein bars...they're expired but they're unopened."

Carl shook his head.

"bottled water?" Gregory tried.

"If I can open it?" 

The older man huffed coming over and clipping his hand ties, handing him the water.

Carl felt the seal break and took sip after sip, needing that desperately.

When he finally took his mouth of the bottle, he tried his best to ignore Gregory's eyes on him again.  
He felt like he was going to be sick as the man's line of vision landed on his crotch.

Carl shifted, draping his arm over his lap to block his view and Gregory turned away to eat the rest of the disgusting, unidentifiable pile of 'food' he'd just offered him which also made Carl want to be sick.

He really had to get out of here.

 

\-----

 

"I...can't do this any more."

Simon stared at Negan until the taller man walked over to the edge of the porch and leaned on the railing.

"Do what? Be here? Please tell me you're not leaving me to lead this place."

Negan shook his head even though the thought had crossed his mind over the last 48 hours.

"It's been almost two days since I saw Carl...I...I need to talk to him and I'm starting to...worry about him."

Simon had hardly seen Negan like this before, if ever.   
He was nervous and not the confident, egomaniac he was usually.

He wasn't just nervous, he was terrified.

Negan noticed the look Simon had when he revealed his thoughts about Carl.

"Do you know something?" Negan asked as he scratched his chin.

"No, I don't know anything...just, Beth said something earlier that made me-"

The door opened behind them then and the blonde poked her head out.

"Simon, I can't find- Oh, hi, Mr.Negan." She blushed. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's alright, darlin'. Would you mind coming out here and telling Negan what we talked about earlier? About Carl?"

Beth stepped out into the porch with the guys and looked timidly from her boyfriend to the intimidating leader.

"I just...had a feeling...about Carl. Just that somethin' was wrong. But I'm probably just feeling his distress from y'all's fight."

Negan couldn't hide his look of panic. "He never came back last night...I don't think that he was that mad. It was just stupid words that didn't mean anything."

Beth felt the nerves bubble up in her stomach as she saw how upset Negan was.  
She hadn't ever seen the tough man like that and it wasn't right.  
Whether it would help or not, Beth stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Negan's waist, giving him a long comforting hug.  
He'd been there for her so much here at the camp, even letting her and Simon break the rules, she knew it was her turn to be there for him.

Simon smiled at his best friend as he saw the emotion on his face as he held the girl in his arms.  
They both flashed back to Lucille and times when things weren't so bad here.

"You'll find him...it'll be ok, I promise." Beth said as she pulled away and looked up in his eyes, her own watery.

Negan held it together as he looked at Simon and nodded before stepping off the porch.

"Bethy, I need to go help him look for Carl. I think you're right about this."

Beth nodded, giving him a kiss. 

"You have to stay here, ok? I don't want you out and about with the intruder. We don't need you both missing."

"I will. Good luck!"

Simon jogged over to where Negan stood, staring wistfully at his bat.

"Simon...don't lose her. Don't ever lose her. Don't say stupid things or hurt her. Beth is...so much like her. She's got such a good heart."

Simon nodded. "I know...I've noticed. And believe me, I plan on keeping her."

Negan gave him a firm nod and the smallest smile he could muster as they headed towards the main building.

"Do you have a plan?" Simon asked as they got closer.

"I...haven't really thought-"

"That's ok, neg. You know, I think we should look at the tapes...see if they show Carl around the grounds anywhere the last couple of days."

Negan sighed. "It's worth a shot."

 

Heading up into the main office, they passed Sherry at the front desk before finding Joey asleep at his desk in the back.  
Negan tapped his bat on the door frame loudly to wake him up.

"What? Did we catch him?! Who- what?!" The hefty man shouted as he startled.

"No, Joseph, but I need to see the tapes from around the grounds from the last two days."

Joey rubbed his eyes and set to pulling up the footage from that time span.

"Here it is..." He said moving to let the leader have his chair.

"Thank you. Go take your lunch break." Negan demanded and you didn't have to tell Joey twice to go eat so he gladly left.

Simon sat in the second chair, patting his shoulder.

"You ready?" 

Negan sighed. "As ready as I can be."

 

~

 

"This is ridiculous!" Negan shouted, "we haven't found anything! What if it's too late!?"

They had been sitting there for almost fifteen minutes and had no evidence of Carl entering or exiting anywhere.   
Negan wasn't the biggest fan of technology.  
He would cover much better ground of he just went out to look for himself.

"You're not going to lose him! You've been through too much together! Neg, you deserve a happy life with him!"

Negan let out a long shaky sigh as he let Simon's words sink in.

He couldn't be without Carl.

He had to tell him he loved him.

He had to-

"Negan?" Sherry came to the door way. "We're having trouble with the computer out here." 

Negan rubbed over his eyes trying to shut her out.  
He couldn't deal with any other problem right now.

"I'll help you, Sherry." He heard Simon say. "You'll be ok without me for a minute?"

Negan nodded turning back to the main screen before letting nostalgia get the best of him and turned the second screen onto the camera named LW3.  
He smiled as the old abandoned cabin came up on the screen and he seemed to not be able to take his eyes off of it.  
He knew he was supposed to be looking at these for Carl but staring at his friend's old cabin have him a sense of calmness.  
As of he had the answer just by looking at this.  
He grasped the bat in his hand tighter as he pried his eyes away and back to the main camera.

Two minutes passed.

Six minutes passed.

Seventeen minutes passed. 

Nothing.

Negan scratched his head in frustration and just as he was about to give up, he saw something moving on the screen to his right, the screen that had the camera on Lucille's old cabin.

The time stamp on the camera 11:23 on the night of his and Carl's fight.

He watched as Carl ran up the steps and pushed his way inside.  
Negan's heart sped up as this was the first time he'd seen him in days.  
He clicked the button to make the footage move faster again, wanting to see if there was any sign of him leaving.

The footage ran through the next hour at high speed and Negan paused it and reduced it back to normal as something else odd showed up.

A hooded figure sneaking up to the porch and slipping in while Carl was still clearly inside.

Negan's heart jumped into his throat and he wasted no time racing out of the room, out the back door of the main building and in the direction of the one place he hadn't visited in years.


	24. He could give him that

The small room was falling into darkness as the hours ticked by, getting closer to another night.  
Carl's level of anxiety was rising and he couldn't stand being around this horrible man much longer, the need to bust out and run to Negan was getting stronger.

Every time Gregory's eyes trailed over his body or his hand touched his cheek or his arm, letting it linger, Carl felt the burn at the back of his throat at the physical sickness he felt for him.  
He debated on if he could escape at each of those moments or the next and the more time he spent here the worse he felt and he couldn't take being away from Negan any longer.

Not to mention, this was the man that almost hurt Beth in the worst way and took Negan's best friend's life.  
Lucille would still be here if this man hadn't murdered her.

Carl's eyes watched Gregory carefully as he bent over his box of what he could tell was mostly food for the third time in the last hour.  
If his feet weren't tied, he could just walk right over and bash the guy in with the lamp and run.

That wasn't an option right now.

As much as he hated the thought he was going to have to get the creep to come closer.

"You know, mr?"

"Just Gregory."

"Ok, fine. Gregory. I only heard the story of the camp from Negan. You never fully told your side. You kept saying you were robbed and this place was taken from you. tell me more about that." Carl offered.

Gregory seemed surprised and looked up from his things to come over and rest on the edge of the bed.

"Don't you mean MY camp?" Gregory said and Carl fought an eye roll.

"Yes...you told me."

"Yes, but that fowl kid stole it! He used another name to sign the offer!"

"What's wrong with that?" 

Gregory huffed. 

"He didn't want me to know it was him, alright? So when he went to buy me out of the ownership, he signed all the papers Mr.Negan. The guy's real name is Morgan Dean. I didn't know he was going by 'Negan' at the time so I just saw how many zeros were on the check and signed. He cheated me out of the money too though because apparently in the fine print said if I didnt get my stuff out before the next camp year, I would lose both the camp and the check. I didn't see that anywhere and yes, I read the whole thing! So next year when camp started I figured I'd clean out my stuff and found out he already had! And that stupid clause magically appeared in the contract when he gave me another copy after I'd lost mine!"

Carl smiled at how smart and sneaky Negan was and it was making his heart swell just thinking about it.

"That's genius..." Carl whispered.

"What?!"

"Terrible." Carl replied. "for you."

"it was!" Gregory stood and moved an inch closer to Carl before turning around to pace the floor while he continued the retelling of his past.

Carl sighed hoping that was his moment but no luck.

"I came back here so I could get this place back! I need to teach a new generation exactly who's incharge!"

Gregory paused stepping closer to Carl and running a hand down the side of his face, his touch harsh.

"Maybe...I can start with you..." Gregory whispered, eyes trained on him before he leaned in close to his ear.

Carl held back all the horrible things he felt with the man so close and focused on where the man stood.  
What he could do.  
How he could hurt him, distract him.

Carl raised his feet, kicking the man in the knees causing him to stumble back on the floor with a thud, whacking his head on the bed post.  
Carl reached right for the knife on Gregory's waist and sliced the ties, jumping to his feet and racing for the door to unlock it.

One second faster and he might have gotten to open it but a hand wrapped around his ankle yanking him to the ground. Gregory grasped his hair at the back of his head tightly between his fingers and Carl cried out in pain as the man barked demands in his ear.

"get to your feet!" Gregory forced him, fighting, over to the bed and pressed a strong hand to his back as his stomach was pushed flat against the mattress.

"You listen to me, boy! I own you. This is MY CAMP! You will NOT disobey me like that again, you little brat!"

Carl whimpered and struggled as he heard the sound of a pull of leather against leather and then a clink that brought bile, rising up in his throat, making him choke, unable to breathe and swallow properly in that position.

Gregory undoing his belt and zipper on his pants as he pressed his lower body on Carl's, keeping him there like that was pushing the boy's conscious thoughts farther and farther away.  
Carl closed the eye that wasn't covered, feeling the room blur out of focus and his soul give up on fighting anymore.  
The feeling was too much and it was as if his brain was just shutting down.

 

\-----

 

Negan wasn't sure if his heart or his feet were moving faster than the other but he didn't care, All that mattered now was Carl.

He barely could make out the ground beneath his feet as it was getting darker and he was just running on instinct now as if it hadn't been years since he'd been to Lucille's cabin.  
If it wasn't for rescuing Carl he probably never would've gone back.

Negan's breath came in and out roughly, even as he slowed down and ran up the small steps onto the porch, pushing his way inside.

The sight he immediately saw made his heart stop and the boiling anger inside bubbled over as he raised his bat over the man's back, whacking him clear across the room.

Carl collapsed onto the floor as Negan knelt down to bring him close as his eyes scanned him everywhere.

"I'm so sorry..." Negan whispered as he pet Carl's hair and the boy's hyperventilating built up until he rushed out of the open cabin door and let out everything in the grass out front.

Negan was by his side in a second, not touching him in case Carl wasn't ready for that.  
The boy turned as soon as he felt him there and threw his arms around him, both of them just enjoying the moment of finally being back together.  
Negan pressed his lips to his forehead and held Carl closer but their moment was interrupted as soon as they heard moaning from inside the cabin.

"Stay here." Negan warned and headed back inside, prepared to whack 'the intruder' and be rid of him once and for all.

Negan nudged the guy over onto his back with his boot to see what this creep looked like and the older man chuckled darkly as blood ran out of the side of his mouth from his loosened teeth when he'd hit a table.

"Back together again...Huh, Morgan?"

Negan felt every horrific memory that kept him up for so long and he kept locked away, rush back into his focus.  
It was as if this man had the key to that safe and they all came back at once.  
The same man that had terrorized him as a boy, the man who'd killed Lucille, almost hurt Carl too?

Negan let out a roar, raising 'lucille' and was inches from getting his revenge when he felt two strong arms around his, holding him back.

"Negan! Negan, stop!"

Negan jerked his arm away from the other man's hold as he turned to look at his best friend, cursing him out.

"He needs to pay for this! Don't do it. You'll regret it." Simon offered.

"Do you know how close he was to...hurting Carl?!" Negan shouted, it echoing off the walls. "What he did to Luci?! What he did to..."

"I know." Simon said, looking him in the eyes. "And he needs to pay."

Negan was still, trembling from all the emotions that were battling inside him.  
He knew Simon was right and ultimately it was Lucille's voice in his head that stopped him.

"Do you trust me?" Simon asked.

Negan couldn't answer.

"Do you trust me?" Simon repeated.

"I want him to pay." Carl said from the door.

Both men looked over at him as he staggered through the door.

"He's the guy that took Lucille from you...That hurt Beth..." Carl said. "He needs to rot in prison."

Simon knew it was true but hearing it made him want to let Negan just continue on and kill him.

Negan finally nodded, signalling Simon to call the security team up here.

"I'll stay here and watch him." Simon offered tying Gregory's hands and feet. "You two have a lot to talk about."

 

~

 

A few feet away from Lucille's cabin, Negan sat down in the grass, Carl joining him awkwardly.  
His limbs still weren't cooperating with him with all the restraints he'd had on them for the last two days.

Negan didn't hesitate offering Carl to sit close and wrap his arms around him to hold him.  
Carl closed his eyes as he leaned back against his strong chest, just feeling and memorizing him.

"Are you ok?" Negan asked, getting only a nod.

"I'm serious, Carl...we both know what I walked in on."

Carl hesitated making Negan worry.

"I'm fine, really."

Negan let out a shaky sigh before grabbing Carl in for a deep kiss.

When they pulled apart, Carl saw something in Negan's eyes.

"What is it?"

Negan put up his wall for the moment.

"Nothing...I'll tell you later. I promise."

Carl stared back. " You promise?"

"Yeah...and I mean it too."

Carl smiled before his brain reminded him of something.

"So...Your real name's Morgan Dean?"

Negan paused, taking Carl's hand in his and looked him right in the eye and answered honestly.

"He told you?"

"Well, yes but I actually saw it on your phone when I was looking at those pictures of judith...which I could use right about now."

Negan grinned. "Well, I don't have my phone but I do have this."

Negan reached in his leather jacket pocket and pulled out the small cat toy that Carl had told him about what felt like a lifetime ago.

He saw Carl's eyes water as he took the little thing that meant so much to him from him and gazed at it.

"Thank you."

"I took it from the nightstand because I figured if you needed any good luck, it was now."

Carl beamed and leaned his head on his arm.

"So...Morgan Dean?"

"Oh, right. That's my real name. I wasn't keeping it from you...it just never came up. I didn't totally lie to you though, I did add Negan to my legal name."

Carl nodded with a small smile. "I get it...but why 'Negan'? Besides the fact that it sounds badass."

"It does sound pretty damn badass, doesn't it? I guess that's one reason why I kept it," Negan grinned before slipping back into a memory. "But mostly I kept it because that's what Lucille always called me. The very first day we met here, at the welcome night bonfire, I said 'hi, I'm Morgan Dean'. She turned to me and giggled and said, 'Did you just say your name was Negan?'"

Carl laughed. 

"She called me Negan after that and never stopped. It took me a while to get used to it but by camp the next year, I was going by it permanently to everyone, including my parents...that son of a bitch in there never picked up on it though."

"That's so great." Said Carl.

"I don't mind if you continue to call me Negan or if you decide to call me Morgan..."

Carl smiled up at him, leaning in for another kiss.

"Lucille saw you as Negan and to me that's who you are. It doesn't mean you kept something from me by not telling me the name your parents gave you, it just means she and I know who you really are and that's all that matters."

Negan felt his heart swell with emotions that he'd kept in for so long and pressed his lips to his.

"Sounds good to me." Negan said with a grin.

 

When he pulled back, Carl followed Negan's eyes over to where the police were walking up into the cabin.

Gregory was screaming obscenely as they took him away and one of the cops approached them.

"Morgan Dean?"

Negan glanced at Carl then back to the lady. "Yeah, that's me."

"I understand this is your camp?"

"It is."

"This man has been terrorizing this property for many years, huh? Your...friend gave us this evidence he'd found on him. Apparently he murdered the two missing campers you two have been searching for."

Negan caught a glimpse of Simon across the way who was wearing a sly smile.

"Really? I mean, We suspected..." Negan appeared somber but deep down he was feeling major relief, knowing he was getting off clean for what he'd done.  
He wanted to make sure he had a future now.  
A future with Carl.

"We need to get this man upfront and make sure he hasn't come across any other campers here."

Negan gave a nod.

"We'd also like a statement from you." She said turning to Carl causing Negan's protective nature to flare up. "Mr.?"

"Carl Grimes." Carl replied. "I'm happy to cooperate." 

"Yeah, but could it maybe wait til tomorrow, that'd be great? It's been a long three days for Carl." Negan added. "I also have some other employees and campers who'd give statements too."

The officer considered.

"Alright, we will be back then. have a good evening."

Negan nodded as he walked over to where Simon stood watching the officers load their old camp leader into the back of the cop car.

"I have waited thirty years to see that..." Negan whispered and Simon reached over and patted him on the shoulder.

"I have too."

Simon watched the relief on his best friend's face and hoped that he could finally put that part of his life behind him and move on.

"You need to tell him." Simon said.

Negan turned away.

"Carl will understand. He needs to know. You need to tell him exactly what you told me in the cabin the other morning."

The taller man sighed.

"When I went in the cabin, I found that monster about to..."

Simon came over and touched his arm gently.

"Tell him."

 

~

 

Carl disappeared back into the empty cabin and glanced around slowly.  
He wanted to do this while Negan was talking with Simon.  
He knew he'd never let him go back in alone and he really wanted to this by himself.

He took in the room, really focused on the details now that he wasn't being held hostage inside it.  
aside from the box of stuff Gregory had and some old crates of liquor, the room seemed as if it was never touched.  
The furniture was definitely older than the bunks and dressers in the other cabins and the one piece of flowered art that hung on the wall was clearly not from this decade.

It all explained how no one ever found Lucille's box of keepsakes.

He wondered if Negan left the cabin alone when he bought the place and figured he probably had.  
There was a good possibility that he hadn't wanted to come back here.  
He didn't blame Negan for feeling that way but he decided it was time they start celebrating Lucille's life instead of mourning it.

 

~

 

"Where'd you go?" Negan asked as soon as Carl rejoined him outside the old cabin.

"Back for this." Carl said gesturing to the small box in his arms. 

"Is that your stuff?"

Carl shook his head.

"I'll tell you about it later...can we go home?"

Negan smiled at him, pulling him in for a long hug.

"Yes...of course."

 

\-----

 

"Carl!"

Beth came flying across the grass and threw her arms around her friend who had definitely sees better days.  
Carl let out a weak chuckle, giving her a one armed hug.

"Simon told me what happened! That creepy intruder guy had you trapped in a cabin?!"

"Yeah, but I'm all good now. Just some food and a full night's sleep."

He glanced over at Negan just as she hugged him again.

He honestly just wanted to lay down with Negan and shut out the rest of the world.

"Hey, bethy! C'mon, darlin', let's let them get some rest!" Simon called, waving her back onto the porch.

She turned back to Carl with her big blue eyes full of concern.

"Promise me, we'll talk tomorrow?"

Carl nodded. "We will, I promise."

"And you'll tell me all about it?"

Carl laughed again but ended with a frown, answering "Yes." anyway.

After one more hug, she ran back to Simon and they disappeared into their cabin as Carl turned to Negan who had sat down on the steps to the front porch of his own.

He didn't speak when he stood up and gazed at Carl, just kept his eyes on him but never once physically touching him.

They went in and Carl immediately sat down on the window seat next to where his back pack still sat, placing the box in his hands to his right.

It felt like days ago when he was last here and he just wanted to stare around at everything and make sure he hadn't fallen asleep back at Lucille's cabin, making this and Negan's rescue just a wonderful dream.

Negan watched him from over at the small stove, setting to warming up leftovers for Carl to eat, knowing he was long over due for a hot meal.  
He couldn't take his eye off the boy in fear that he would disappear before him and called Carl over to sit at the small table.  
Negan stirred the pan of sauce for a second so it wouldn't burn before walking closer to Carl and knelt down in front of him taking his hands in his.

"Promise me that you're ok?"

Carl nodded.

" Yeah...just tired. I stayed awake all night last night so I could keep an eye on him."

Him.

"Carl...please be honest with me, Did he...was when I walked in really the only time he touched you?"

Carl looked away, embarrassed in a way at what he was implying.

"Yes."

"Promise me you're telling me the truth."

"I am." Carl said staring into his eyes. "He never got that far. Infact, that was the first time he'd really tried anything...He was a total creep the rest of the time though, staring at me any chance he got or touching my arm or face."

Negan stood up then and pulled him against him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

Carl watched him after that go over to dish up the food and he felt excitement as he saw a big plate of spaghetti sat down in front of him.  
He stuck his fork in and shoveled the first three or four bites on his mouth like a starved animal.  
Negan observed, wearing a big smile, happy to just see him back here.

 

\-----

 

Negan sat on the edge of his bed with his phone, flipping through messages and noticed one from Rick dated yesterday asking about Carl's eye.  
He wondered how he was going to tell Rick about this little 'adventure' his son had just had.  
With a long sigh Negan turned his phone off and lay down on the bed just as Carl came out of the bathroom, letting the steam from his shower seep into the room and dissipate in the air.

He dropped his dirty clothes in with Negan's by the dresser and trudged over, falling into bed.

Negan chuckled at him as he flopped over.

"Compared to my last two nights even cabin 7 looks comfortable right now."

Negan laughed louder at that in particular and stretched out his arm for Carl to get closer.  
The boy didn't waste any time and he figured he'd be up half the night just watching him sleep.  
Carl's head found a nice spot on Negan's chest and the older man's fingers reached up to thread through his long hair.

"I'm so sorry." Negan whispered after a minute or two of losing himself in a scene in his head of how awful it must have been for Carl.

Carl shook his head sleepily.

"let's be sorry tomorrow...just wanna lay with you right now."

Negan smiled, running the hand that had been in his hair down over his spine, stroking over the soft skin.

Negan always worried if he was good enough for the kid.  
Carl was the most amazing thing and he never could compare himself to the beautiful boy in his arms and get a match.  
There wasn't a lot he could give him.

A night in his arms, quiet, just the two of them.

He could give him that.


	25. That's what love is

Negan smiled as he woke up with Carl still cuddled close.  
Neither of them seemed to not have moved all night and he guessed it proved how tired the boy was.  
He didn't blame him after everything he'd been through in the last 48 hours.

It still wasn't completely light outside, he figured it was around 5 or 6 am.  
Carl grumbled and shifted away just a bit and Negan watched as he thought he might be waking up.

The kid cried out more but wasn't opening his eyes and Negan recognized the signs.  
Negan ran a hand over his sweaty forehead trying to soothe him in his sleep but that didn't seem to work with Carl becoming more aggressive.

"Carl...shh, it's me." Negan tried, shaking him gently.

"No!" Carl cried out, scrambling away from him, pulling the covers with him as he was finally alert.

Carl breathed heavily as he stared back at Negan's concerned gaze.  
He still was back inside that nightmare and hadn't fully come back to reality yet  
Negan offered a hand, not wanting to touch him, now that he was awake, until he was sure he was ready.

"You alright?" Negan whispered as Carl scrambled forward, burying himself in the safety of the man's arms.  
Negan felt like that was a good sign.

"I am now." Carl finally said after a moment.

Negan closed his eyes, pressing a calming kiss to his forehead.  
He knew what he was going through.  
He'd had those terrible dreams too.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Carl was silent, focusing on the beat of Negan's heart.  
He reached up and ran his fingers under the open collar of his shirt, over where it lay beneath his skin.  
Negan swallowed hard, having never felt Carl's touch quite like that.  
It was so intimate and calming yet exhilarating.  
He needed to focus on helping him though and making sure Carl didn't keep anything in.

"Carl...I've had nightmares too, about...Gregory." He bit out the last part through gritted teeth.

Carl shook his head. "This one wasn't about that sicko...it was about my godfather."

"Shane Walsh?" Negan said. "Why?"

Carl shrugged. "Dunno."

Negan ran a hand across his back for a moment as he wished Carl didn't have to have any of these monsters plaguing his mind.  
He wished more than anything that he could protect him from everything.  
He felt Carl start to shake under his touch, bringing his attention back to him.

 

"He arrested me...in my dream. He showed up here...He told me that they proved I was guilty and that I killed Mr.Horvath and he was...t-taking me to prison."

Negan sighed, pulling him closer and Carl nuzzled into him, not caring if he seemed weak or childish.

"I won't let that happen. And the old man was fine, remember?" Negan whispered. "Go back to sleep. I'll be right here, I promise."

 

~

 

"No nightmares this round." Carl grinned up at Negan as he woke up on his chest where he fell asleep a few hours back.  
The older man grinned too and ran a hand over his hair and down his spine.

"I'm glad." Negan said.

Carl shifted away a bit so he could stretch after being in the same position most of the night.  
Negan watched him as his shirt rode up slightly, exposing inches of creamy white skin.  
He licked his dry lips as he let in visions of grasping those hips and pressing his own to them, getting as close to the boy as physically possible.

Negan shook his head as those thoughts went deeper into the dirty caverns of his mind and he quickly reminded himself that he shouldn't be thinking about Carl that way.

Carl turned back over and gave him an odd glance as he stood quickly but as the man headed towards the bathroom, he didn't think anymore of it.

 

Carl was only partially dressed when he returned, not helping matters any.  
He watched as the boy reached into his backpack and took out a t-shirt and finally covered up his gorgeous torso.  
Another dry swallow as Negan cleared his throat.

"Carl, you know you're welcome to a drawer?" He offered missing Carl's blush since he was at the sink cleaning off a pan.

"Uh..ok, thanks." Carl replied, standing there awkwardly with a small stack of shirts since the rest were in the wash.

"What do you want for breakfast?" 

"Anything." Carl said, now staring equally as awkward at Negan's dresser. "You get less picky once you've been held hostage."

Negan really wanted to not laugh but his amusement at Carl's ability to make light of the situation won out.  
He glanced over at Carl to see if he was upset by him laughing and saw him just standing there.

"Any drawer, Carl. It's fine. I'm not going to kick you out for hogging space or taking my favorite drawer."

"If we're being honest, it wouldn't surprise me if you had a favorite drawer."

Negan cracked up as he flipped over an omelet in the pan, turning back again to watch Carl putting his stuff in the third drawer down.  
He plated up the food and came over, behind Carl, wrapping his arms around his waist as he glanced at Carl's things in it.

"You're right, I guess I do have a favorite drawer...now."

Carl smiled shyly as Negan held him for a moment and he felt his warm breath on his ear.

"Our food's getting cold..." Carl worried before gasping at Negan's mouth, now at the skin of his neck.

"...I can make more." Negan replied, drunk on Carl's close presence.

Carl let out a gentle whimper, pushing his body back against the older man's as Negan continued that wonderful sensation.

He knew he was going to have glaringly obvious marks left behind but he didn't care.  
Not when Negan's lips were sucking his skin into his mouth.  
Carl let out another beautiful sound just as they were interrupted by the alarm above the stove.

Negan let go and rushed over to turn off the burner and open the window to let the small cloud of smoke out.

Carl laughed as Negan dropped into a chair and he sat down at the table across from him.

"Guess you and I aren't allowed to go much farther than that...Cleary we set off the smoke alarm."

Negan chuckled, his cheeks tinting red this time around and he shook his head as he pulled his chair closer to the table.

"Eat your breakfast, hot stuff." He smirked, unable to look Carl in the eye.

 

\-----

 

Carl grinned to himself at the memory of Negan only an hour ago as he headed down the path towards the infirmary.  
His hand reached up to absent mindedly touch the spot on his shoulder where the man's lips had felt so good.

It had taken him forever to get Negan to agree to let him go see about his eye on his own.  
Negan had mentioned paperwork he had to do so Carl threw in that he was going to see Dr.Carson.  
Negan tried to back track and put it off to go with him but Carl reminded him that if he didn't go by himself to this, he might not have the courage to be independent for anything else.

That of course was perfectly fine with Negan just not Carl.

"Besides...The intruder's in jail remember?" Carl had reminded him.

Carl took a deep breath as he jogged up the steps to the office and opened the door to see the nurse at the desk.

"Mr.grimes, good to see you. We all heard about what you went through, we're so glad you're ok."

Carl smiled at her before asking to see Dr.Carson.

He followed her instructions to go down the hall and bumped into someone rushing out of a room.  
Blonde blurs and boxes scattered on the ground as he apologized and looked into the face of his best friend.

"Beth?"

He bent down to help her but she grabbed her things quickly and ran off.

"Sorry, Carl! I gotta go!" 

Carl stood there staring at her with concern until a door to his right opened and Dr.Carson poked his head out.

"Carl Grimes, how are you?"

"I'm...good, I guess." He replied, trying to shake the thought of Beth away. 

"How's that eye of yours?" The doctor asked, inviting Carl in.

"Actually...that's why I'm here." Carl said. "I've been cleaning it...like you said,well, except for the last two nights because I was in a hostage situation."

"That was you?! I knew you were a tough kid...didn't know you were that tough!"

Carl chuckled. "Thanks...but yeah, I was wondering how much longer I'd have to wear this patch, cover thing?"

Dr.Carson asked Carl to sit in the low chair and removed the bandage to look at the wound under his eye.  
He prodded and stared for what felt like thirty minutes and asked Carl if he could clean it one more time himself.

"Sure." Carl replied.

"So...where's Negan today? I figured he'd be right here with you? Or does he not know you're here?"

Carl's blush wasn't missed by the doctor and he gave a small smirk.

"No, I just convinced him that I could do this alone."

"That must've been difficult. He cares about you a lot...I've never seen him like that with anybody else. When you were in here when that first happened, he never left your side."

Carl smiled and nodded. "Yeah...that's ok. I wouldn't have left him like that either."

Carson studied him for a moment and Carl felt awkward under the calculating gaze.  
It was clear the doctor suspected something between them and he prayed Negan wouldn't get in trouble for it.

"Two people that want to...share each other's company, Carl, I'm ok with that. If I think one of them doesnt want to be with the other person-"

Carl looked him directly in the eyes, cutting him off. "I completely agree with you."

Carson smiled and nodded, directing Carl to stand up.

"Ok, as far as I'm concerned you're welcome to ditch the bandage, patch thing. Keep cleaning it though and if there's any indication of infection please don't wait to come see me."

Carl smiled. "Thanks. I won't."

 

\-----

 

Negan's eyes went straight to his phone when it buzzed on his desk beside his stack of papers.

'Rick'

A long sigh and Negan ignored it, unable to answer the call or any of the questions the man would have.  
He felt like a coward but he just didn't have the strength to talk to him and wasn't in the mood.  
This was the third call from him that he'd put off and knew there would probably be more.

With everything going on here he just couldn't deal with a concerned parent too.  
Especially one who's son he was in a secret relationship with.

Removing his glasses and rubbing over his face, Negan poured himself another cup of coffee and buried himself in his work.

Sadly that was easier than anything else.

 

\-----

 

"Beth?"

Beth scrambled up from the ground, wiping her face quickly, hiding something in her bag first and came over to hug him.

"Oh, carl! How'd seein' Dr.Carson go?"

"Great! I got my bandage off for good now." He replied, pointing at his face.

"That's wonderful news!"

He smiled at her before taking her hands.

"But you're shaking, beth...are you gonna tell me what's going on?"

Beth's sweet blue eyes filled with tears and she trembled leaning forward into his arms.  
He let her cry it all out until she turned silently, grabbing the thing from her bag and handed it to carl.

"Woah..." Carl whispered staring at the letters 'ept' on the small box.

He looked back at Beth who looked like she was going to be sick.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok."

"Really? How do you know that, carl!? What if I'm pregnant?! What if Simon isn't ready for this! Simon can't know!"

Carl pulled her close, calming her a bit.

"Why don't you come with me? You haven't taken it yet have you?"

She shook her head. 

"Alright, c'mon."

~

Beth followed Carl to Negan's cabin and he promised her that they'd be alone for a while.

"Negan had paperwork...it'll be fine."

Beth took out one of the boxes as she set her bag next to his mostly empty one on the window seat.  
Carl came back over and told her that she needed to do it now before she chickened out.

She had to know.

After showing her to the bathroom, Carl fixed Beth a soda and sat on the bench to wait for her.

It was agonizing, doing nothing until she came back out, he could only imagine how she felt.  
Finally he heard the door and immediately noticed her eyes were red like she'd been crying again.

"I left it on the tub ledge..."

Carl nodded. "I know that you have to wait two to five minutes, definitely check it before ten minutes have passed."

"How do you know this?"

"When my mom was pregnant with my sister." Carl explained handing her the ginger ale and a box of tissues.

Beth nodded, thanking him.

"How did you come to think you needed these?" He asked holding up another box that he'd been reading.

"I'm almost three weeks late."

Carl's eyes widened, shoving the empty box back into her bag. "Ok, then..."

He was quiet while he let her figure out if she wanted to talk or if she needed silence.

"I couldn't do this without you." She admitted.

"You could do this with Simon."

Beth shook her head rapidly.

"I assume kids haven't come up yet?" Carl asked.

"No! I can't even imagine..."

Carl sighed.

"He loves you, Beth...so much."

"I know...but what if you could have a baby with Negan and you got pregnant here when y'all have only known each other for a couple of months!"

Carl covered his face in embarrassment.

"This conversation is getting weird! Please stop!"

"Fine! But would you walk right up to him and blurt it out or would you hesitate because you like him so much that you don't want to lose him over this!"

Carl sat up and pulled her to rest on his shoulder.

"hypothetically speaking of course, because I'm a guy and Negan's a guy so it's NOT possible..." Carl shook his head. "I would freak out internally for a day and then I wouldn't be able to keep it from him anymore. I care about Negan like you do Simon. I know both of them and I know they're not just gonna leave if a kid got involved."

Beth sighed, sitting up after a minute.

"Tell me about what happened...with that creep."

Carl prepared himself, knowing he'd have to relay the story sooner or later.

"Ok, the first thing you need to know is that I ran off to that cabin because Negan and I had a fight."

"Simon told me." 

"Oh, ok, so long story short I wake up with this guy entering the cabin."

Beth's eyes widened as she followed the story.

"He had my hands tied around my back and I eventually got him to tell me his name was Gregory."

Beth nodded. "So, it was the same guy that... Almost attacked me? The guy my daddy knew?"

"I guess so..." Carl replied. "but he wasn't after you. He was after Negan. The Gregory guy use to run the camp when Negan was young and wanted to come take it back from him."

Beth gasped.

"The craziest thing was that he'd been living out in a cabin that was Negan's old best friend Lucille."

"The baseball bat?"

"No," Carl chuckled. "Lucille was a real girl. She was here at camp with Negan and Simon but Gregory...murdered her."

Beth stared back at him.

"Yeah, she saw him beating up Negan or something and he followed her down to the other lake and...that's where it happened."

"Wow...Simon and Negan must've been devastated."

Carl nodded glancing over at his back pack where the box he'd taken from Lucille's cabin still was hidden.

"Thats why Negan is still so attached to her."

Beth gave him a sad smile and took his hand.

"You know, he told me once that you remind him a lot of Lucille."

Her smile grew.

"That sounds like a real honor comin' from him."

Carl chuckled again. " Yeah, pretty much."

Beth lay her head on his shoulder again as they say there in silence.

"It's probably time to check your thing."

She stood shaking and he stopped her by grabbing her hand.

"Listen, before you find out, I want you to know that I'm here for you no matter what. If you're pregnant or not. If you want it or not. If he wants it or not. I'm here. I'll always be here, ok? And remember, decisions don't have to be made today."

Beth smiled, tears brimming her eyes again as she gave him one more hug before going back into the bathroom.

 

\-----

 

"Hey."

As soon as Carl stepped through the door, Negan immediately walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him, surprising him with a deep kiss.

"I really tried." Negan said.

Carl chuckled. "Tried what?" 

"Tried not to worry about you. I started to fix dinner when I saw you weren't here when I got back just to keep from thinking the worst."

Carl smiled as he sat down at the table.

"Sorry, I went on a walk with Beth around the front lake. I just took her back to their cabin...I guess Simon was thinking the same things you were. He was anxiously waiting on their porch when we came back."

Negan grinned serving the chicken and rice and joining Carl at the table.

"He came looking for her, I told him that you were probably with her."

"So why were you so worried?"

"After what happened this week..."

Carl nodded. "We never did finish talking about that Gregory guy?"

Negan looked down at his plate, clearing his throat, avoiding Carl for a second.

"Later. First, I want to tell you that the cops called and want to have that meeting tomorrow to get all of our statements about him."

Carl nodded, shoving a bite in his mouth.

"And I want to hear about your appointment with Dr.Carson. I assume me being able to look into both of your eyes, is a good sign." Negan reached over to touch his cheek gently.

Carl blushed, glancing at his own plate.

"Yeah...um, he said I can leave the cover off now as long as I keep cleaning it."

Negan nodded. "Good. That's good."

"and I think he knows about us..."

Negan choked on his ice tea.

"Dr.Carson?"

"Yeah. He must've picked up on it when you were there with me...when I was shot. He pretty much said he didn't care if we were together as long as I wanted to be with you."

"Do I wanna know what your response was?"

"I didn't admit anything really just pretty much said that two people consenting was what I agree with too."

Negan's eyes found the wall behind Carl and focused on that, slipping out from the consciously listening to the words the younger man was saying.  
He felt a dark hole inside him returning to swallow him whole just like the other day when he had sat here talking with simon.

He hoped Carl hadn't noticed.

"Negan?"

Some days when his memories haunted him, he wished that hole would just make him disappear.

"Negan?!"

He felt Carl touch his hand and he jumped so far out of his skin that he stood up, tipping the chair back onto the ground and walked as far away from him as he could get, leaning his arm on the wall the bed was on.  
He hid his face, not wanting Carl or anyone else to see his internal disarray.

Carl was staring at him when his brain finally caught back up, calculating the fear inside and the boy looked scared.

Carl got closer but didn't touch this time. "Are you ok?"

Negan blinked as he reminded himself of where he was and that he was...

safe.

Safe.

 **'this is carl...you're safe with carl.'**

"Yeah...fine." He said, still facing away from him.

"Are you sure? I didn't mean to-"

"It was nothing you did wrong."

Carl moved a little closer, abandoning the rest of his dinner.

"Then what? I want you to talk to me. If this was me going through something you would bug me until I talked, so talk."

He watched as Negan's shoulders tensed before relaxing and he moved to have a seat on the bed, head in his hands.

Carl knew something was really wrong here.

Gently he had a seat next to him close but not touching and waited until he was ready, just wanting to be there for him.

"Just so you know, Carl...this is going to change your view of me. I know that. I knew I was going to lose you if you ever found out so..."

Carl's brow furrowed as he watched more turmoil in Negan's brown eyes.  
The man was close to tears and it was odd seeing that.  
He was usually so forceful and in control.

"The reason why I couldn't-" Negan paused rethinking beginning this conversation like that. "I blame my self for you getting held hostage by that creep...you remember the fight we had before you left?"

Carl looked down at the wood floor and nodded.

"We'd been kissing," said Negan. "And you wanted...more...and I couldn't...I can't do that to you."

Carl turned to look at him with his brow furrowed.

"What do you mean? Look if you're trying to tell me you don't want to be with me...you need to just-"

Negan took his hand in his from his lap and brought it up to his lips.

"No...never. That's not- Carl," he sighed. "Do you remember the story I told you about the night Lucille died?"

Carl nodded, his heart pounding dramatically as he felt Negan's hands shaking in his.

"You told me she saw that Gregory guy about to beat you up or something? You said he was obsessed with you?"

Negan's eyes grew cold once more and he used his free hand, the one that wasn't grasping Carl's, too run over his eyes harshly again.

"He was...He...Lucille saved me in a way. He wouldn't have stopped otherwise..."

Carl wanted him to continue but he didn't want to push.  
It was obvious that Negan was having a hard time with this memory and he wasn't about to pressure him.  
He would wait forever until Negan was ready.

"What Lucille saw that night..." He whispered. "The reason I asked you if he-if Gregory t-touched you...I had to know. I couldn't live with knowing he'd done that again...to anyone, but especially not you."

"Negan, what are you-"

"He...raped me...I was twelve. When I was here. When Simon and Lucille and I went to camp here ...and Lucille...she rescued me...and she died saving me from him. He killed her because she knew. I begged my parents to not take me back here...they didn't listen and he threatened that he would do the same to me if I told."

Carl stared at him as he felt his heart break for this man that he'd fallen for.  
All the times that he'd worried that Negan didn't want him or He was pushing him away.  
He felt so bad that he'd never seen this and he felt selfish for only thinking of himself then.

Carl leaned closer slowly, resting his chin on his shoulder as he laced their fingers together.

"I am so so sorry." Carl whispered. 

Negan shook his head. "No. It's not your-"

"Yes...it is. I'm apologizing because so many times I just thought maybe you didn't want me and I was being selfish. I thought maybe I wasn't good enough for you and I had to accept that."

"Carl, I'm the one who isn't good enough for you!"

Carl shook his head. "Never."

"Carl, I never, ever wanted to fall in love with one of my campers. It was honestly my worst fear...but then there was you."

Carl couldn't contain a small grin.

"I couldn't stop it, I couldn't even begin to keep my heart away from you. I thought about you every night since we met." Negan turned and looked into his eyes finally. "That night...when we kissed for the first time I...didn't know what to do. I couldn't deny what I knew was going to happen and I didn't want to when you clearly wanted me too."

Carl waited as Negan paused to hear what else he needed to get off his chest.

"But when it came to us being...intimate...I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't hurt you like...like he did me."

Carl sat up and pressed his forehead to Negan's, letting him bask in the comfort he was trying so desperately to give him.

"You wouldnt hurt me. I know that. I'm...ready. I want us to be together. I want a real, complete relationship with you. I've wanted you from the first day I saw you."

Negan sighed as he met Carl's lips with his as the younger man initiated a gentle kiss.

"I don't know why you thought this would change us? Change me? You're not to blame in any of this, he is. He's the monster. You need to testify against him. He needs to go away for this. He almost did the same to Beth -"

"I don't know, Carl." Negan said standing up and going to pace in front of him. 

"Yes! He needs to be locked up for hurting you!"

"It took me thirty years to tell my best friend! If I couldn't tell Simon, how well do you think it'll go over in court if I can't blurt the words out and I'm just standing there like an idiot!"

Carl didn't want to fight now. 

Or ever.

He didn't say anything else just came over to Negan and wrapped his arms around his waist until he felt the man return the hold on him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Said Carl. "You deserve to get past this. If you need to scream at someone and get out that pain then please, let that be me. I want that to be me. If you need to cry or punch something then I'll be your shoulder or I'll find you a pillow."

Negan actually chuckled against his hair as he pressed a kiss to his head.

"This doesn't change us." Carl assured. "And I can and will wait how ever long it takes for you to be ready for us."

Negan hesitated, still keeping his arms around Carl's middle.

"It's not like I haven't had other boyfriends..."

Carl looked up into his eyes.

"I don't need explanations or reasons for your feelings. I understand. Now that I know it's not me."

Negan leaned down for a long kiss.

"It's not, Carl...I want you, I want you so badly."

A red tint spread over his face as he grinned at him.

"Good to know..."

After standing there for another five minutes just enjoying each others company, Negan announced that he really needed a shower.  
Carl disagreed, not wanting to separate but eventually let him go and decided to clean up the dinner mess so Negan wouldn't have to when he came out.

From across the room his eyes landed on the box from Lucille's cabin that he still hadn't shown to Negan yet.  
He wondered if the man had snooped but he didn't seem like the type.

As soon as he was through with the dishes, Carl got dressed for bed and spent the last ten minutes of waiting for Negan just going through the events of the last couple of days.

He hoped Gregory was going to get major time for his crimes and he knew he'd get even more tacked on if Negan would speak up about his assault experience.  
Carl wasn't insensitive.  
He understood that it took a lot out of someone who had gone through something that traumatic to tell, what felt like the world but he really needed to.

It might help other people too especially if Negan wasn't the only kid he'd molested during his time as leader.

He was so deep in thought that he hadn't even heard Negan come out of the bathroom.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Sorry, yeah...just thinking."

"About?"

Carl's brain paused as Negan pawed through his pajama drawer looking for a shirt.  
His blue eyes trailed down the man's tanned back and spine as if he'd never seen him shirtless before.

He couldn't help it.

Negan turned then and raised an eyebrow as he caught Carl's line of vision at his waistband just as he pulled a white t-shirt over his head.  
Carl turned away quickly and glanced up at the ceiling, missing the knowing smirk from Negan. 

"About?"

"Oh, uh...nothing, everything. I don't know."

Negan nodded, understanding that.  
His own mind was still reeling from the past coming back to haunt him and the fact that Carl now knew all about it.  
He took his towel back into the bathroom before joining Carl on the bed who tried to sit up until Negan placed a strong hand on his chest.

"I haven't checked your ribs in a couple days...do you mind?"

Negan's hands on him? Of course he didn't mind.

"Sure. Go ahead."

Negan stayed sitting up and faced the Carl while Carl lay down more flat, waiting to feel his touch.  
Negan's hands grasped his side's beneath his shirt and he felt his thumbs dig in gently in a few places.  
He wanted more than anything to turn this into something a lot less innocent.  
It was going to take all of his self control to be patient for Negan.

"Did any of that hurt?" Negan asked. 

Carl shook his head.

"Good. That means you're mostly healed."

Negan dug in on the lowest one making Carl gasp then.

"Ok, one more to go I guess? Sorry."

Carl nodded as Negan was removing his hands and Carl sat up, stealing a kiss as he caught his fingers in his.

"I want to say something..."

Negan knew this was about earlier but he let him go on and nodded.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. I...care about you and I want to be there for you for anything. As much as I enjoy you taking care of me I think it's time you let someone take care of you. You're not alone. I-I love you."

Negan looked away, feeling his emotions resurfacing.  
He didn't want anyone to see him like that but this was Carl.  
Negan sighed, pulling the smaller man into his lap and buried his face in his neck. 

"Carl...I love you too."

And if Carl felt wetness on his shirt or Negan's shoulders shaking then he wouldn't say a word.

Because to him, that's what love is.


	26. Incredible maybe

Carl's foot tapped on the floor of the main office as he waited out in the hall.  
Negan had told him to stay there while he spoke with the cops first.  
Since he was the leader and owner, it had to be this way.  
Carl understood but that didn't make it any less frustrating.

He needed to know what was going on in there.  
He hated being away from Negan and not being able to be there for him, hopefully they weren't talking about anything too major yet.

Glancing at the clock on the wall and finding that it had only been ten minutes, Carl leaned forward, resting his head in his hands.

"Carl?"

Carl sat up and looked up to see Sherry standing there with a bottle of coca cola.  
He didn't really know what to say so he just offered her the seat next to him.

"I got this for you while you wait for Negan...they'll probably be a while. I've heard stories of that Gregory guy from things Dwight has heard so they probably have a lot of ground to cover."

"Well, I got to experience him first hand. He held me hostage for two days."

"That was you?!"

Carl nodded. "That's why I'm here...to talk to the cops about it."

"Oh, I thought you were just here as moral support for Negan."

Carl opened the soda and took a sip, unsure of how to respond.  
He just shrugged before thanking her for the drink.

"I don't really have anything else to do," She said. "and I saw you here looking bored so... "

Carl laughed, shifting in his seat.

"Try nervous. Which is stupid cause my dad is a cop so you'd think I could talk to cops just fine."

"I'd rather talk to ten cops than my dad. He's way more intimidating than these guys!"

Carl smiled sadly, "Well, that's how I feel about my mom...and my godfather...who is also her boyfriend."

Sherry shook her head. "You win."

Carl chuckled again just as the door beside them opened and out stepped Negan, giving sherry an odd look.

"Carl...they're ready to talk to you."

Carl stood and nodded at him, thanking Sherry before following Negan into the room where the female cop from the other day sat in a chair across from them.

"Good afternoon, Mr.Grimes. I'm officer Gale. We met the other day."

Carl shook her hand and had a seat next to Negan.

"Mr.Dean, I have no further questions right now, you may leave."

Carl shifted in the leather chair with the cracked seat and spoke up.

"If it's ok with you I'd like him to stay."

The officer looked between them but couldn't find a good enough reason to kick him out.

"Alright, if it's alright with you I'm going to ask you a few questions."

Carl nodded.

"Mr.grimes, why are you here at this camp."

Carl avoided her eyes and focused on a scuffed spot on the floor a few feet away.

"My parents sent me here because...I was found guilty of theft and causing a car accident which injured an elderly man."

Negan cleared his throat beside him but never denied Carl's statement.

"Alright, and the night you were held hostage did you know that the man, Mr.Gregory Berkeley, was at large on the grounds?"

"Yes...It didn't occur to me though when I was out that night."

"Why did you leave your cabin, Mr.Grimes? isn't there a curfew?"

Carl was about to answer when Negan spoke up.

"He had come to my office that night because I asked him to help out as punishment for partaking in a fight with another camper. He and I got into a disagreement and he took off." He faked to sound better than 'well, you see we share a cabin'.

"It doesn't sound like you respect your leader very much." The officer prodded.

"I do respect him!" Carl snipped.

"He does so much so, in fact, I've thought about bringing him onto my staff if he would be interested. He's a good person, just got caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Carl turned to grin at him. "I would be honored, Mr.Negan."

Negan chuckled. "Well, we can talk about it later."

"Alright, moving on." Officer Gale said. "When did you first see Gregory Berkeley?"

"I had broken into an old cabin and fell asleep and when I woke up, he had my hands tied with a zip tie."

Out of the corner of his eye, Carl could see Negan's fingers tapping as he got anxious just hearing all of this again.  
Carl wished he could reach over and touch him, offer him comfort for his old and new demons.

"and then?"

"and then it was pretty much the same thing for the next day and a half or however long he had me there. He offered me food which I refused, he did let me go to the bathroom. He..."

"Go ahead, Mr.Grimes."

Carl sighed, feeling embarrassed.

"He did...touch me...in a perverted way. He didn't hesitate to be a creep about it and he kept commenting about my looks and even once he pressed on about my sexuality."

"You didn't tell me that!" Negan sat up quickly, staring at him.

"Sorry..."

"Did Mr.Berkeley go farther than that? Would you say that he molested you or raped you?" Officer gale asked.

Carl regretted asking Negan to stay as he looked away from them and his leg began tapping on the floor.

Carl hesitated. 

"No...not me. He probably would have if...if Mr.Negan hadn't saved me."

The officer raised her eyebrow.

"Someone else then?"

Carl sighed. " Yeah..."

He wanted so badly to tell them about what he did to Negan all those years ago but he couldn't do that to him.

"My friend Beth. She told me he molested her." He admitted, knowing she was going to tell them about it.

"Is she here at the camp?"

Negan nodded. "Yeah, I believe Miss Greene was scheduled to speak with the other officer that was here."

Officer Gale nodded. "Alright then, very well. That is all. Have a good day."

 

\-----

 

Beth hadn't stopped talking since they entered the empty room.  
She seemed to have a million things on her mind and Simon was starting to worry about her.

"Beth...bethy, sit down." Simon suggested as she paced back and forth in front of him.

"I'm sorry! I'm just afraid that I'm gonna say the wrong thing or..."

Simon pulled her back down beside him and kissed her on the head.

"You don't have to apologize to me, baby. You'll be fine. Just tell them the truth. Tell them everything that happened that day. I know it's hard..."

Beth sighed against him.

Not as hard as admitting other things...

They jumped apart hearing the door open behind them.

"Good afternoon, I'm officer Kam."

Simon glanced over at Beth who looked like she was going to be sick.  
He wanted to comfort her but knew how inappropriate it would seem so he didn't dare put his hand on back or against her thigh like he would if they were alone.

Seriously, Beth looked ill.

"I'm sorry...I'll be right back!"

The blonde stood, rushing from the room as she covered her mouth as both Simon and the cop stared after her.

"She's...a little nervous."

"And you are?"

Simon paused. "uh, Her counselor."

"Uh...huh." He jotted something on his paper pad as awkward silence filled the room.  
The only sound coming from the ticking of the clock on the wall and Simon counted each second until Beth returned.

"Sorry, about that...I haven't been feeling well."

Simon turned and gave her a concerned look but Beth didn't dare meet his eyes.

"That's alright, miss greene, I won't keep you I just understand that you have something to report about Gregory Berkeley?"

Beth shifted in her seat, glancing sideways to Simon just to remind herself that he was there.

"I do. I knew him, well, my daddy knew him. He came to ask my home a while back to ask my daddy about some kind of partnership on our farm...that day he was there he..."

Simon sat up, offering his hand to hold for support.  
It was all he could do when they were around the cops.

"It's alright, Beth...take your time" he assured.

She smiled at him and turned back to the other man.

"Gregory...almost raped me."

Officer Kam raised an eyebrow before writing on his sheet.

"I'm sorry for what you went through, miss Greene. Are you aware that you are not alone? There have been other similar reports against Mr.Berkeley..."

Beth listened as he continued and answered the rest of his questions, hoping they would help keep the man behind bars even longer.

Beth took a deep breath once all was said and done and lept to her feet.

"I need to go talk to Carl about somethin'...I'll see you at the cabin in a bit!"

She kissed Simon on the cheek and was out of his sight before he could stop her.

 

\-----

 

Carl wasn't thrilled when Negan told him that he had a meeting that he couldn't get out of holding when they got back to the cabin in the early evening.

He'd been trying to find the right time to show him that box of Lucille's things.

Negan didn't seem too happy about having to leave either but he had responsibilities to the camp and that was one of them.

Negan grabbed a snack from his stash and told Carl to do what ever he wanted until he got back.

Carl pulled him lower, surprising him with a kiss.

"I'll try not to miss you."

Negan chuckled. "Don't get all sappy on me."

Carl blushed as a big grin spread over his face as Negan gave him one more kiss before he left, knowing that he'd miss him just as much.

Carl grabbed a bag of chips as well and curled up in the large green recliner chair across from the bed, with a book that Negan had let him borrow. 

He wasn't sure if it was borrowing when they lived in the same cabin but he appreciated it none the less.  
That was one thing Carl hadn't brought many of.  
He wasn't the biggest reader but he liked to have something to do when Negan was busy.  
He had barely gotten through the first chapter when Negan's phone rang on the nightstand across the way and Carl paused, debating on seeing who it was.

Carl was surprised to see a familiar name flash across the screen.

'Rick Grimes'

Carl hesitated, wanting to answer it.

He wanted to talk to his dad.  
He knew how odd it would seem, answering Negan's phone but he didn't care right now after all he'd been through this week.

"Hey, dad..." He answered, his voice shaky as he wondered what he was going to say next.

'Carl?' Ricks gravely voice asked on the other end before he chuckled.

"Yeah, it's me. Negan saw you were calling but he had something to do so he said I could talk to you."

Rick chuckled again. 'well, I can't say I'm not happy to hear your voice and talk to you personally. I've been worried about you...Negan wouldn't answer my calls and I heard there was an arrest made at the camp.'

"Yeah, they finally got that intruder that was creeping around...and there was a hostage situation too."

'I hope no one was hurt.'

"No...I wasn't hurt."

'It was you? You were the hostage?!'

"Yeah, but...it's ok, dad. Negan saved me."

Carl heard a heavy sigh from Rick and a long silence.

'Well, tell him Thank you. Tell him I want to tell him in person.'

Carl grinned, thinking about the man.

"I will." He replied, adding, "how's Daryl?"

He heard Rick grin through the phone and the man seemed surprised that he would ask.

'good... he's great.'

"He's there, isn't he?"

Rick let out a loud joyful chuckle.

'yes. He's here.'

"Tell him I said hi...and Thank him for keeping you company while I'm here."

Rick's emotions were clear through the speaker.

'I will, Carl.' He said. 'are you sure you're ok?'

"I'm great, dad. I miss you...and Judith but I love it here. I can see why this place is for people to find peace and change their outlook on life."

'that's a great attitude.' 

Carl smiled. "I'm glad you called."

'me too. Do you think I could talk to Negan though?'

Carl's heart skipped. " Uh, he went to a meeting. You'll have to call him back if you want to talk to him."

'What, Are you like his assistant now?'

Carl let out a nervous laugh, thankful that Rick couldn't see his blush. "Something like that."

'Negan thinks so highly of you...I wonder if that can help with your sentencing?'

"Maybe..." Carl replied, not even wanting to think about that right now.

As much as Carl wanted to keep talking to his dad, it was definitely getting awkward so he came up with a quick excuse.

"Look, dad I gotta go soon. I have a lesson to get to."

'Alright...I love you, Carl, so much.' Rick said. 'Don't hesitate to call me.'

"I won't, dad. I love you too...Bye."

Carl pressed end, flipping back on the bed with a sigh only to get interrupted by a sound at the door.

He stood up, off the bed and peeked out before opening the door to let in the frantic blonde.

"I want to tell him but I don't know how to tell him!"

"Beth-" Carl sighed.

"I can't tell him!" Beth cried, flopping down on the window seat.

"Yes, you can." Carl sat beside her, taking her hand. "Just...decide on a time and stick to it."

Beth groaned.

"It'll all be ok, I promise. He loves you."

"I know...I know."

Beth say back up and stared into him for a moment.

"Do you want me to be there?" He asked. " 'Cause I would if that would make you feel better."

"I would but...no, it has to be me and him."

Carl smiled. "It will be you and him. You won't lose him over this."

 

\-----

 

"Hey,"

"Hey,"

Negan noticed immediately when Carl's smile didn't reach his eyes and when his eyes didn't meet his.  
He was avoiding him and Negan wasn't in the mood for that.  
The entire time at the meeting, he couldn't keep his mind off of him and he tried to wrap it up as fast as he could so he could get back here to him.

It didn't take him long to see that Carl was already in pajamas, kicked back in the bed and he came closer, leaning down for a quick kiss.

"I'm not even taking a shower tonight...I didn't really do anything today so as long as you don't mind..." Negan mentioned as he went over to the dresser to grab some more comfortable clothes so he could join him.

He glanced back when Carl didn't respond and noticed a deep expression on his face.

"Carl?"

The younger man looked over when he heard his name but his frown remained.

"Sorry, I was thinking."

"You wanna tell me what about? 'Cause that was some major thinking you seemed to be doing."

Carl sighed, his eyes closing as leaned back against the pillows as he felt Negan's fingers caressing his arm.

"The first thing I have to tell you I know you'll be mad at me for..."

Negan gave a nod, trying to appear supportive.

"You have to tell me first."

"The other thing is something I have to show you...I just don't know if you're ready."

Negan chuckled nervously.

"Well, all you can do is try. Make me mad first."

Carl sighed again looking Negan in the eyes.

"I answered your phone." Carl blurted out.

Negan's eyebrows raised.

"It was just my dad. I didn't mean to go behind your back or anything I just really wanted to talk to him."

Negan let out a sigh of relief.

"That's fine, Carl. I don't mind. I'm glad you got to talk to him because I honestly wasn't looking forward to saying 'hey, Rick, glad to hear from you and by the way I let your son get held hostage!' "

Carl chuckled. "Yeah, well, guess what, he doesn't blame you."

"Really? Wow, that's a first! I'm usually the first person parents blame. Well...The ones that care anyway."

"You let other kids get in hostage situations here? I thought you were a good leader." Carl teased.

Negan shook his head, grabbing Carl gently, pulling him into his arms and Carl laughed loudly as he pushed playfully at Negan's chest as the larger man rolled them both over until he was half way between hovering above him and straddling his hips.

Carl grinned up at Negan as he had his left hand pinning down Carl's right wrist.  
Both of their chests rising and falling rapidly with how things escalated.  
Negan's eyes searched Carl's before trailing down to his lips and before Carl knew it Negan had pressed his own to his in the fiercest kiss he'd felt from him.

Negan's lips were hot and moving fast against his own and Carl's left hand found the back of his neck just as he felt a wetness at his lips realising Negan had pressed his tongue against his mouth.  
Carl let out a soft whimper as he parted his lips just enough to allow Negan to kiss him deeper, his tongue sliding in warm against his.

It was addicting, the taste of Negan and he never wanted to end this particular wonderful sensation.  
He felt Negan's solid body fitting perfectly to his own and the older man was finally giving in a little, even if it was just kissing.

Negan paused for a moment, resting their foreheads together and Carl thought he was stopping but he apparently just knew to let them catch their breath before their lips met again until Negan decided he wanted to taste something else.  
His mouth left Carl's and dropped kisses on his neck and down until he nipped at the soft skin on his collar bone making the younger man cry out.

That's when he stopped.

Carl let out a long sigh as Negan scrambled off him to separate.  
This was doing nothing to help with the stiffness that was left behind, straining against his pajama pants.

"I'm sorry..." Negan muttered, clearly trying to calm down himself. "I almost..."

Carl sat up holding out his hand for Negan.  
He needed to ground him, get him back to reality.

"It's ok." Carl assured as Negan finally threaded their fingers together.

Negan rubbed over his face, not ready to believe Carl yet.

"Ok...are you sure?" 

Carl nodded as he finally looked at him.

"Yes."

Negan leaned back just enough to search Carl's eyes only to find them dark with lust yet bright with love and care for him.  
He couldn't take it and gave him a soft kiss before standing up and going into the bathroom to change.

 

Carl let out a heavy breath and wondered if Negan would ever be able to get past his monsters and share an intimate night with him.  
It broke his heart to think about anything hurting the older man and he wanted nothing more than for Negan to heal.

He tried to will his hardness lower down to relax, knowing they weren't getting anywhere tonight but it was difficult when he thought about how Negan had felt against him or even just the fact that he was right in the other room undressing.

He knew he shouldn't.

Negan could come back out any second.

His dick clearly had control over his brain though and moved his hand lower and lower until his fingers slipped beneath his waistband and grasped around the hard length.  
He listened for the man in the bathroom and it sounded like he was still in there, running the water, maybe brushing his teeth or- 

Carl released a soft groan as he tightened his hand and tugged just slightly, imagining a different hand of course.

Negan's.

The thought of Negan's strong, solid grip wrapped around him almost made him come on the spot especially when he remembered how he'd had him pinned to the mattress only moments ago.  
If only he had continued.

Carl wanted to experience pleasure from him and give it back in return but he wanted more than anything for Negan to be ok.  
To forget about what happened to him and make peace with it so he could move on and be happy.

Carl's eyes fluttered closed as he ran his thumb over the tip and-

"N...N-Negan." He groaned out loud, losing his surroundings as he got closer to the edge.

He didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open or notice Negan standing there staring at him.

Carl stared back,stunned as the brightest shade of red faded over his cheeks as he rushed and covered himself with a blanket.

"I..." Carl choked as Negan began to walk over to the bed slowly.

He knelt down on the wood floor between Carl's spread knees, never once unlocking their eyes.  
Carl's were wide and dark once again as Negan ran a hand, flat against his torso, up and down the middle of his bare chest.

"I thought you were calling for me..." Negan whispered, his mouth inches away from his body so Carl felt every warm breath with each word he spoke. "I-I didn't know you were..."

Carl's heart raced as he saw a change in Negan's brown orbs too.  
Something clicked and even though he seemed to hesitate, he gently began to press a row of wet kisses down his stomach until he reached the edge of the blanket that was covering everything.

Negan's eyes met Carl's once more as he asked a question that he couldn't say out loud.  
The younger man nodded rapidly, answering without holding back.

"...Please?" He begged. "Need you...need this."

He knew Negan needed to hear that, he needed him to tell him it was ok.

Negan slowly pulled the covers away, Carl's hardness clearly pressing agonizingly against his blue plaid pants.

Negan dropped more kisses against the waistband until Carl couldn't take it anymore.

"Negan...please. I want you."

Negan licked his lips before getting as close as he could between Carl's legs and hooked his fingers into his pants and pulled down, revealing Carl's stunning body.

He couldn't help but stare as the boy's dick raised, hardening more under his gaze and he swallowed hard as he met Carl's eyes and the boy was grinning back, clearly happy to be letting him in.

He threaded their fingers of one hand together while he hesitantly grasped his length in the other.

Carl let out the most beautiful sound, somewhere between a moan and a whimper, encouraging him even further.

Negan massaged his fingers, over the pliable skin towards the tip which resulted in a loud gasp.  
He rubbed over the tip, spreading the pre-cum over the tip and down until he knew Carl was just barely to the edge and surprised him with a tentative taste, his tongue darting out to test the waters.

Carl shuddered, trembling from the high intensity of experiencing this for the first time.

"More?" Negan's voice was barely above a husky whisper and Carl sat up just enough to meet his eyes.

"More...more." Carl confirmed, laying back flat on the mattress, unable to stay upright in his state.

Negan parted his lips just so to fit the very top of Carl's member in his mouth and he teased him, replacing it a few times as he figured out which amount of pressure Carl liked most.

He decided as soon as Carl's fingers threaded in his hair and how many tones louder he'd gotten, he figured he was doing exactly what Carl wanted.

As Negan continued it didn't take long for Carl to begin writhing around and Negan placed a hand on his hip to steady him as he brought him to the edge and Carl cried out as he came, Negan not pulling off until he'd swallowed every last drop.

Negan wiped his mouth off on his sleeve and pulled his shirt off before he climbed up into the bed next to Carl and waited for him to decide where he wanted to be.

After a minute of laying there, staring up at the slanted wood ceiling in awe, Carl crawled over to Negan and collapsed in his arms.  
He couldn't hide the tiny, satisfied smile on his face as he was still catching his breath.  
Negan's heart skipped as he felt the warm puffs of air from Carl before the boy dropped a few kisses on his chest.

"That was..." Carl couldn't even find the words which made Negan smile too.

He ran his hand up and down his bare spine, giving Carl assurance that he wanted to be here, as nervous as their moment had made him.

"Amazing?" Negan asked.

Carl looked up at him with those blue eyes that were still so wide and dark from the emotions and attraction he was feeling for him.

"Is there a word that is more than amazing? Because I'd use that instead..."

Negan grinned, leaning down for a soft, goodnight kiss.

"Incredible maybe?"

Carl nodded. "Yes...that's definitely the word I was looking for."


	27. Can you keep a secret?

"You know if we don't show up for lessons soon, the other campers are gonna start talking." Carl murmured against Negan's chest.

"...And my staff." Negan added with a chuckle.

Carl leaned up for a second good morning kiss.

"They probably all know about us by now, don't they?"

Negan ran a hand over his forehead, stressing.

"Probably."

Carl grinned as neither of them made any attempt to move even after discussing responsibilities.

Negan's hand was resting on his waist inches above his ass which was now covered up by the underwear he'd gotten up to put on in the night.  
Negan matched, also still only in his underwear and Carl sighed, feeling their skin rub together in the places that weren't covered.  
A flash of their moment last night came back and he was willing Negan's hand to move just an inch lower.  
He swallowed dryly as he thought of what it would feel like to feel him on other parts of his body.  
He knew he needed to be patient with Negan and assure him that he wanted this.

Wanted everything.

He wanted Negan's mouth on him again. He wanted-

Carl heard the familiar beep from the walkie talkie on the night stand and groaned louder than he intended.  
That meant Negan had to get up or leave and that was the last thing he wanted.

Negan turned just enough to grab the radio.  
"What's goin' on Gavin?" He asked, responding to the guy.

With Carl's ears now both beneath a pillow, he couldn't make out the jibber jabber and decide if it was that important, Negan would fill him in.

"No, that's correct, Gavin. Go ahead and do that. I'm gonna have to drag my ass outta bed anyway and do that lesson in a while so I'll come check it out then."

Negan sighed and flopped back on the bed next to Carl, turning over to pull him closer than Carl expected.  
Negan ended up spooning him, both on their right sides and the younger man let out a satisfied sound.

"Don't wanna get up." He admitted.

Negan chuckled against his shoulder, pressing warm kisses to his shoulder.

"A minute ago you said that we should because people would start to talk..." He reminded him

"I don't care if people talk, I was just reminding you of that." Said Carl.

"Even if they do, it's worth staying here like this with you so I don't mind."

Carl grinned, hiding his face now with the blanket so Negan wouldn't see his massive blush.

 

\-----

 

"Beth?" 

The blonde curled up tight beneath the blanket, stretched and yawned as she felt a warm hand on her side.

"Bethy?" Simon whispered again as she blinked her eyes and looked up at him.

"Hmm?"

"I gotta go help Gavin out with a problem at the mess hall. I'll be back later, whenever Negan is done with me for the day. If you need anything just buzz me on the radio."

Beth smiled sleepily, nodding as he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead before he left.

"See you later, darlin'."

"love you..." She sighed.

As soon as she heard the door click shut and she was sure he'd left the porch, Beth tossed the covers off and ran for the bathroom, making it just in time before losing last night's dinner in the toilet. 

Once she was sure the waves of nausea had passed, she leaned back against the tub ledge, tearing up as she wished she had Simon to hold her hair or rub her back or get her water or just...be there.  
She hated keeping this from him and knew she needed to make a decision sooner or later.  
He should be a part of this and deep down she knew that.

Beth groaned as she dragged herself up off the floor and trudged back into the bedroom with her glass of water and got back into the cozy familiarity.

Maybe laying there, she might find the words to tell Simon her secret.

 

\-----

 

"Are you sure we should be walking around together like this?"

Negan stopped in the pathway that lead back to the main area.  
Negan had just finished his lesson and asked Carl to stay behind so they could walk back together.

"It's my camp."

"Yeah, but what if some kid reports us? You forget I'm not even legal age yet."

"Yeah, you're right. I do forget that which if you didn't know, is definitely a compliment...But if that happens then I'll take care of it. It's not like we're even doing anything inappropriate...right now."

Carl couldn't deny that sent a shiver up his spine.  
He loved Negan's dark side just a little too much sometimes.

"Negan-"

The leader grabbed him, cupping his face in his strong hands as he leaned down for a deep kiss that made Carl's knees tremble.

"This is my camp. I can handle anything."

Carl gave him a small smile as they continued down the path, mostly quiet as they each had things on their minds.

When the main offices came into view they noticed some of the staff was gathered outside the main office and as the pair approached, Sherry came over with orders.

"Negan, you're needed in the mess hall for another bad delivery."

Negan thanked her and turned to Carl to tell him he could go back to the cabin but Sherry cut him off before he could even suggest it.

"Oh, and Carl...you have a visitor."

"Who is it?" Negan asked first.

"Some guy...went by Grimes." She replied, heading back up the steps, into the office.

"It's probably your dad." Negan said to Carl. "Why don't you go ahead. Go in and visit, I'll be back as soon as I'm done with this inventory ordeal."

Carl nodded, "Alright, see ya later."

Carl went in and Sherry told him to go in the last door on the left.  
He went in with a smile on his face but when he opened the door it fell as his heart jumped in his throat.

"What?" The man chuckled. "You're not happy to see your uncle Shane?"

 

\-----

 

"You do realize, I have come this close to firing every single one of these assholes until it's back to just you and me again." Negan said as he and Simon poured over lists of needed products to keep 200 people fed for the next month.

All Simon did was chuckle but deep down he was honored.

"Yeah...might be nice. We have to end up doing all this shit ourselves anyway so, why not?"

Negan huffed, rubbing his temples as he counted boxes of lettuce and checked them off.

"You ever thought about bringin' Carl on? He's a fantastic worker."

Negan actually smiled.  
One of the few Simon had ever seen in their thirty-plus year friendship.

"I'd love to...He is good and he understands this place. You know I forget sometimes why he's here, how we met. He still has a trial, Simon. It's not like he can just go do what ever the hell he wants."

"What if you could do something about that though? Like maybe he could serve more time here or...I don't know."

"That would be nice, Simon but when have things ever turned out the way I wanted or needed?"

Simon put his clip board down and sat on the edge of the box truck.

"How about lately? You met Carl, for one," He pointed out.

Negan sat down next to him, having finished one sheet of inventory.

"And we watched justice for Lucille and the man who terrorized you get locked up for life...finally. Neg, things are looking up."

Negan was silent but he eventually nodded.

"Yeah...maybe you're right."

Simon's eyes widened. "I'm right? Wow! I don't think I've ever heard you say those words to me in all the years we've-"

Negan placed his hands around his neck in a playful choke hold before wrapping him in a real hug.

"You're an asshole!" Negan grinned, letting go before jumping back up to finish their task.

"You wish! Hey, I thought the rest of the staff were assholes and I was the one you were keeping around!"

Negan shook his head. "Nah...changed my mind. Next review, you're outta here."

"Hey! You couldn't keep this place runnin' without me!" Simon cried from right behind him.

"No." Negan smiled fondly. "I really couldn't."

There was a silence that fell between them as they each finished another sheet.

"Enough about me..." Negan eventually said to fill the void. "How about you. How's Beth? She still happy bein' there with you up at the cabins?"

Simon shoved a pen behind his ear as he counted. "Yeah...I guess."

"You guess?" Negan turned to him even though Simon didn't.

"I don't know. She's been kind of...distant lately."

Negan's brow furrowed. "You could talk to her?"

"Gee, thanks. What a novel idea."

Negan scoffed, going back to the clipboard. "I'm being serious."

"I know, I don't wanna start a fight with her though." 

"Try it, Si...you might be surprised."

 

\-----

 

"You never answered me." Carl bit out, jaw set.

Shane rolled his eyes, resting the heels of his boots back up on the desk.

"...About?"

"What are you doing here?"

Shane chuckled.

"I came to see you! You only have another month here until you're shipped off to prison...I wanted to see you free...out of handcuffs."

Carl's tough face dropped to reveal a sad, scared kid.  
He hated that Shane could cause this.  
He wanted power over him not the other way around.

"Isn't that what you want? To see me locked up?"

Shane chuckled loudly.

"Aww, c'mon now, Carl. You don't think of me like that, do ya?"

Carl turned to look out the window to his right, not about to satisfy the man with an answer.

Shane stood up fast, coming around to where Carl still stood and grasped his chin hard. 

"If you go spreadin' that image of me around, I'll have you pulled out of this sissy camp so fast it'll make your head spin!"

Carl shoved the unwanted hand away, gathering the courage to challenge him.

"Don't talk about camp sanctuary like that!" He shouted, allowing his emotional connection to the place get the best of him.

Shane chuckled again, a sound that made Carl want to rip his voice box right out.

"I can do what ever the fuck I want!" Shane grasped his shirt at the back of his neck. "You'll do better to learn that quick. Have I not taught you anything?"

Carl shook his head, pulling away from him to stand closer to the window so he could use the view of the greenery to calm himself.

"Yeah...you did teach me something. Something very valuable actually."

Shane smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the desk.

"Good, What was it?"

Carl turned, focusing his eyes on him.

"That I shouldn't trust anyone."

Shane shook his head, smirking

"You can trust me."

"Yeah...sure." Carl huffed, turning away.

He didn't even hear Shane come back up behind him.  
He didn't realize he was there until he felt a firm, harsh tug at the back of his head.

Carl cried out, echoing through the room as Shane had a fistfull of his hair.  
He used that power to yank Carl closer, spitting harsh words in his ear.

"When are you gonna chop off this stupid mop! A man doesn't grow his hair out like that! Between this and that ugly-ass scar on your face, you're never gonna get a girl to hook up with you!"

Shane shoved him away, roughly enough to send him tripping over his own feet and landing with a thud on the concrete floor.  
Carl placed a hand over his face, ashamed enough of that scar on his own.  
He didn't need anyone, especially Shane, pointing it out to him.  
He placed both hands on the ground to make an attempt to stand up.

"My boyfriend likes it." He admitted, finally finding a confident tone.

Shane's facial expressions changed from a sneer to disgust and then to an anger he hadn't seen since the night of the crash.

"That's disgusting!" Shane spat on the floor next to Carl before leaning down inches from his face where Carl could smell the familiar hint of alcohol. "You're sick! Who the hell is this dumbass you've hooked up with? Huh, he here? Is that what this place is? A fag house!"

Shane's boot came hard into Carl's mostly healed ribs and Carl cried out as he felt and heard the familiar loud crack.  
Carl tried to take calming breaths and he couldn't seem to make his lungs work correctly.

"Get up, crybaby. You don't want your warden or who ever the fuck runs this dump to see you ballin' like a little kid."

"D-dont..." Carl tried to defend the camp but he could barely speak after the trauma caused to his torso.

He took a deep breath, channeling all his strength and stood up on his legs, shaky.  
He knew after all he'd been through here, he could handle this.  
He could handle Shane.  
He was tough.  
When he wasn't, he had Negan.

Negan was going to show up any second.  
He just knew it.  
When he needed him, he was always there.

"Poor little Carl..." Shane pouted coming over and clamping his arm around his neck so tight, Carl could feel his throat caving in and he gasped for air. "You know you're gonna have to get used to this roughing up stuff 'cause you're gonna have to put up with way worse where you're goin'!"

The sound of boots in the hallway and the swing open of the door had relief flooding through Carl.

"Sorry, I'm late, Rick I-"

Shane let go of Carl, patting him on his shoulder as if he'd been hugging him instead of the more brutal scene Negan had just missed.

Carl looked angry, scared and mostly overwhelmed when he locked eyes with Negan.  
The older man seemed to know exactly what was going on and didn't hesitate putting on a firm voice and gestured.

"Carl, come with me."

Carl nodded frantically, pulling away from the grip Shane still had on his t-shirt.

"Excuse us for a minute." Negan threw harshly towards Shane who seemed partially confused and definitely pissed off.

Negan guided Carl into the empty hallway and slammed the door behind them before wrapping his arms around his smaller frame.

"I am so, so sorry." Negan pleaded softly so Shane wouldn't hear them. "If I'd known- I never would've sent you in there with him."

Carl took a deep breath, just feeling the warm safety of Negan's strong embrace even though it was painful with his newly broken rib.

"It's ok. I know."

Negan leaned down to press a kiss on Carl's forehead.

"What did he say to you?"

Carl shrugged, looking down at the ground and away from Negan's caring eyes. "What didn't he say..."  
Carl hadn't stopped clutching his side and when Negan tried to pull his arm away Carl wouldn't let him.

"Carl-"

"Yeah...we'll talk about it later." Carl promised with his eyes just as a flash of anger came across Negan's as he gripped the handle of lucille tight enough to drain the color from his knuckles.

"Carl...go back to the cabin." 

"What?! No, Negan-"

"Carl," Negan kissed him on the lips. "Please, go back to the cabin. Can you make it by yourself?"

"I think so- What are you going to do?" Carl asked already figuring that he knew the answer. 

"I'm going to protect you. Go back and stay there. I don't want you anywhere near here."

Carl was nervous but knew he had no way of stopping him and he wasn't sure he wanted to.  
He swallowed the lump in his throat and held out his hand to Negan.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Always looking out for me."

Negan grinned, leaning down for another quick kiss.

"Always."

Carl gave him a shaky smile before he headed out the door of the office, out of Negan's sight.  
The tall man sighed, walking around the corner to Sherry's desk

"Do you remember that thing I asked you to keep here until I asked you for it?"

Sherry nodded.

"I'm asking you for it."

Sherry turned to dig through the bottom drawer of her desk, handing over an envelope before he disappeared back into the hall.  
He shoved the contents in his pocket, ditching the envelope on the ground as he re-entered the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to take care of the brat."

It was going to take everything out of Negan to put on this performance but hopefully in just a few minutes it would all be worth it.

Shane's eyebrows showed his surprise as the camp leader sat across from him at the desk.

"Carl?"

"Sorry, yeah...I mean I know he's your Godson, but...what a difficult little thing to figure out..." Negan said.

Shane leaned forward and scoffed.

"Sorry? I'm sorry he IS my Godson! What a good for nothing- well, not nothing..." Shane paused, thinking better about saying anything else.

"Please, share." Negan said. "I'd like to know what he's good for. Can't seem to figure it out."

Shane laughed again. "You realise how useless he is too?! You're funny! Pretty cool for a camp leader."

Negan forced down his instinct to beat the holy hell out of this man right here on the spot, rubbing over the stubble on his chin to keep his hands busy. 

"Yeah, I like to think so."

"So, what, you got 'em fallin' in line for ya?"

Negan gave a nod and a small smile.

"Something like that. Especially Carl, he's an easy one mostly, I gotta say."

Shane cracked up, his laughter echoing up to the ceiling. "Yeah, he is. Pathetic! Never done a bad thing in his sorry life! The kid either needs to grow up...or somethin'! Get some big boy balls, y'know what I'm sayin'."

Negan soothed the raging fire of fury inside him as this man spat horrible things about Carl.  
He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

"Never done anything wrong? What's he doing here then? Have I been wasting my time on a goodie two shoes?"

Shane shook his head, wearing the kind of smirk that made Negan want to rip off his entire face.

"You're a cool guy, right? We're on the same level?"

Negan gave a slow nod as his blood pressure rose.

Shane leaned forward and lowered his voice only slightly.

"Can you keep a secret?" 

Negan stared back for a moment wondering if this was it.

"I mean if I tell you something so god-damn funny you gotta keep it to yourself. If it got out-"

"I can keep a fucking secret." Negan grinned.

Negan must've been speaking his language because in return all he got was another one of those annoying, sly smiles.

"You know why Carl's supposedly sentenced here right?"

Negan nodded. "Yeah, kid stole a car...injured some old man."

"Carl didn't steal that car, I did. That fuckin' little twerp ass kid couldn't steal anything if he tried, are you kiddin' me?! I don't even know how I got away with it but I did. I wrecked that car while I was havin' some fun and thank God the kid was with me other wise I woulda gone to prison instead of this cushy, sissy-fied camp like he did...No offense."

Negan drew a long breath through his nose before putting on a smirk of his own as he thought about all the horrible, excruciating things he could do to take revenge on this man right here.

Right now.

He looked directly in Shane's eyes. "None taken."

Standing up, he walked slowly over to Lucille and grabbed her by the handle.

"You know, Shane...That's the greatest story I've ever heard in my life! That's some fast, smart thinking. I don't think I could've been able to do that. leave someone behind to take the blame for my crime...might have to remember that one. Tuck that away for future reference."

Shane leaned back in his chair, pretty proud of himself.

"Thanks, I figured you'd like that."

"You uh, you know I'm a busy man..."

Shane gave a curt nod and stood up.

"Well, it has been a...pleasure." Negan forced himself to say. "I'm so glad you stopped by and uh...that little confession, that'll stay between us."

Shane held out a hand for Negan to shake.

"Hey, maybe I can buy you a beer sometime."

Negan chuckled, accepting the hand.

"Maybe so."

 

\-----

 

Beth couldn't help but smile as she snuggled farther under the blankets in Simon's big bed.  
She wondered after all this time spent here, if he thought of it as theirs and as she pondered that her eyes landed on the calender that he had tacked up on the wall.  
She only wished they had more time there at the camp and didn't think she would be able to leave this place easily behind when it gave her so many good things.

Carl.

Simon.

Her relationship with her sister back.

The-

She ran her hand flat over her stomach where her crop top revealed and all kinds of emotions flooded in, drowning the rest of her thoughts.  
She didn't even hear Simon come back out into the main room and join her on the bed.

"Beth?"

"Hmm?" She sat up quickly, clearly startled.

"I'm sorry, darlin', I didn't mean to scare you."

Beth took a deep breath leaning into his arms.

"It's ok."

Simon stared back into her eyes as he gathered his words in his head.

"No...it's not." Simon replied, running a hand over her hair. "something's been different with us for the last week and I wanna know what it is. If it's something I did, bethy, I promise I will make it up to you."

Beth looked back like a deer in the headlights.

"It's nothin' you said or...did to make me mad or anythin'. I promise. I'm not even mad...I'm scared.'"

Simon offered her his hands and she linked their fingers together, allowing their solid connection to anchor her.

"Scared? Why in the world would you-"

"Simon I...I do have somethin' I need to tell you. I've been keepin' it from you 'cause I don't know if you're gonna like it or not. Or if you'll hate me...if you do, I'll understand."

"Bethy? No, never. I could never hate you. I love you."

She smiled as a tear escaped her watery eyes. "I love you too."

"Beth, c'mon now, you're scaring me." He said, drying her tear with his thumb. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

The blonde took a deep breath, hoping that she was making the right decision.  
If she didn't tell him now, she wouldn't be able to until it was more than obvious.

"Simon...I'm pregnant."

Simon's brown eyes just stared at her for a moment before a small smile spread on his face, morphing into a much larger smile before laughter finally escaped him.

"You're pregnant?!"

She nodded, unable to speak as he pulled her closer.

"We're gonna have a baby?!"

She giggled, nodding again as more tears fell but this time he kissed them away instead.

"When? How?"

She looked at him, eye brow raised. "How? Really, Simon?"

She felt his chuckle through her back as he pulled her down to lay against him. "I just thought we were more careful than that..."

She bit her lip as she grasped his hand and placed it on her stomach where their baby was growing in that very moment.

"Apparently not careful enough...I'm pretty sure it was the night you and I spent in that cabin, across the lake." She observed.

Simon grinned as he drew little patterns on her skin, thinking back. "...Oh." 

She giggled again, turning over in his arms so she could look into his eyes.  
In a few months she wouldn't be able to lay on her stomach like that.

"I've been tryin' to figure out when he or she will be born," she admitted. "...I guessed mid April to mid June but I'll have to see an actual doctor."

"Have you seen Dr.Carson or the nurse?"

"No...I was too scared. I stole three pregnancy tests from the supply closet at the infirmary and took those. I couldn't risk them callin' my family. The only one who I told was Carl."

Simon chuckled. "I wish you'd told me sooner." He whispered, running a hand through her blonde hair.

She smiled up at him. "Me too."

"You do want this, don't you? This baby, with me?"

"I didn't know I did, but...it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." She said.

Simon grinned, leaning close for a kiss. 

"I think that's the other way around, Darlin'."


	28. The lucky ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In SO sorry I've been away so long! Hope you like this chapter! Sorry if there are any mistakes! Let me know what you think! Happy holidays!

Negan let out a long sigh as he held the small device in his hands.  
He'd had the thing tucked away in his jacket pocket since his conversation with Shane yesterday.  
He turned it over in his palm, basking in the power it held for Carl's future.

Squinting as the bright sun shown through the window, he moved over to the dresser where he was planning to hide the small silver box.  
He pressed the button on the side and the background had that tin sound but the voices played out through the static clear enough.

_"You know why Carl's supposedly sentenced here right?"_

_"Yeah, kid stole a car...injured some old man." His own voice._

_"Carl didn't steal that car, I did. That fuckin' little twerp ass kid couldn't steal anything if he tried, are you kiddin' me?! I don't even know how I got away with it but I did._

Negan's heart pounded in his chest as he wondered what he could even do with this.  
Surely it would help Carl somehow.  
He didn't know who to show it to or who he could trust with it.  
If anyone in Carl's case was biased to Shane Walsh, they could destroy it.

The first thing he needed to do was make copies and the second was- well, he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

Quickly he shoved the recorder under some clothes as the door to the bathroom opened then and Carl trudged out, hand clamped firmly around his middle as he limped across the room, back to the bed.

Negan rubbed a hand over his face angrily as he wished he'd punished that horrible excuse of a man yesterday for what he'd done to Carl.  
He had barely moved that arm since last night and He hated to think of the pain he was probably in.

He watched Carl sit down slowly on the mattress, looking exausted.

"Did you say something...while I was in the bathroom? I thought I heard voices?"

Negan shook his head as he turned back to the dresser to finish gathering his clothes for the day.  
He saw Carl almost fail at standing up twice, the height of the bed not exactly good for his ribs.  
He leaned up awkwardly and gasped out loud, probably hoping that Negan hadn't heard that.

The older man cringed as he desperately wanted to help Carl but he didn't want to hover either.  
He didn't want to get on Carl's nerves or treat him like a baby.

"I'm...getting in the shower, if-...you don't mind." Carl choked out, wincing as he turned just the slightest bit.

Negan tapped his fingers on the top of the tall dresser as he hesitated, trying to find the right words. 

"Actually yeah, Carl, I do mind." He said as his eyes glanced over at the bottle of untouched Advil on the nightstand on Carl's side of the bed.

"I don't really like the thought of you in there when you can barely move without making a sound...not to mention you haven't even taken the meds I set out for you."

Carl shrugged. "They never really helped."

"They help more than you think," Negan crossed his arms. "and this time I'm gonna be more serious about getting those healed. Once is bad enough but breaking them a second time is horrible."

Carl's brow furrowed. "It's not my fault!" 

Negan's eyes softened when Carl raised his voice at him.  
Quickly he closed the gap, wrapping the boy in his arms until Carl returned the embrace and he leaned down for a long, gentle kiss.

"I know...I know." He whispered against his lips. "The only person I blame is Shane and you know that."

Carl nodded before tilting his neck for another kiss.

"Please, can I just go? I can't not shower."

Negan sighed. "I know..."

Carl stared back. "You could...get in with me?"

Negan's eyes changed even if his expression didnt.

"Carl, no!...you know I cant."

Carl sighed, knowing he didn't want to push him into this.

"Ok...but I'm getting in."

 

\-----

 

"Bethy?" 

Simon ran a finger up and down her spine, as she lay in his arms catching her breath.

"Hmm?" She asked sleepily, her head resting on his own chest that was rising and falling rapidly after their passionate morning routine.

"Did you keep it?...the e.p.t?"

Beth sat up then, tucking a smaller blanket around her and slid off the bed, tip-toeing across the room to her bag that was hanging on the hook.  
She rummaged around for a second before pulling out a plastic bag and ran back over to Simon.

He scooted up against the pillows and wrapped his arms around her as he held the baggy in his hand just staring at the word.

"I...can't even believe it." he said as she lay her head on his shoulder.

"Me either." She beamed, hearing him get emotional. "This is the first one I took...the others were positive too but I kept the first one because it's special."

"Do you know what you want to do next?" He asked her, setting the bag over on the nightstand. "I know it's only been a few days since you found out...I was just wondering where this goes from here."

"Well...after camp, we'll go see a doctor. A real, baby doctor not Dr.Carson, no offense. Maybe we'll go see the one my sister goes to."

"We?" Simon grinned. "You really want me to be there?"

Beth sat up so she could look in his eyes. "Of course I do!"  
He pulled her back into his arms as she continued.  
"Honestly I don't know when I want to tell my family...I hate to say this but I wish I never had to. If all I was doin' was introducin' you to them it'd be one thing. My sister will eventually come around since she's already met you and she's more progressive but daddy...he'll probably disown me forever."

Simon frowned, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"Darlin' I know it'll be hard but...it's not like I don't want you to come live with me anyway. I love you so much and I am so lucky..." Simon whispered, leaning down for a kiss.

Beth smiled as they pulled apart and she reached over, taking his hand to place on her stomach.

"We're the lucky ones."

 

\-----

 

Another sigh of frustration escaped Carl's mouth as he tried for the third time to get his t-shirt up and over his head.  
He could barely raise his arms without feeling a world of pain and he wasn't about to go back out to Negan and ask for his help even though he knew that's exactly what he should do.

Carl had gotten so accustomed to wearing pullover shirts again that he hadn't even thought about it last night when choosing pajamas and he was cursing himself now.  
Sure, his ribs had been hurting then too but that was nothing compared to how they felt now.

Leaning back against the counter, Carl let his eyes fall closed as he tried to relax before he made another attempt at undressing.

He didn't even hear the door open beside him or see that he wasn't alone anymore.

He felt arms slip around his waist and a solid, warm body press to him and he opened his eyes to Negan standing there with a sexy grin on his face.

"Need some help?"

Carl glanced away, actually embarrassed that he couldn't do it himself.

"...Maybe."

Carl noticed Negan's bare chest right at his eye level as the older man pushed away from him to assist.  
The dark patches of hair were always a distraction and he was sure if he just stood there the pain in his ribs would just melt away.  
His fingers seemed to lift and touch with a mind of their own and Negan kept that smile on as Carl explored with the tips of his fingers all the way down the trail of hairs that continued into his waistband.

"See somethin' you like?" Negan teased, that signature grin growing as Carl stopped there and pulled himself out of his mesmerized state.

" ...maybe."

Negan just chuckled, shaking his head.

"Alright, we need to figure out how to get you out of these clothes with the least amount of pain."

"If you're the one taking my clothes off...I don't think I'll even notice the pain."

Negan stared into Carl's eyes for a moment almost forgetting the task at hand before he slipped his hands up under his shirt and bunched it up, grasping Carl's left arm.

"Since this side is less painful, go ahead and pull that one out first then after this you're going back to button-ups." Negan warned.

Carl chuckled as he maneuvered his left arm out, even though this situation wasn't really funny at all.  
Negan pulled the shirt over his head and then down his right arm, saving the boy a lot of hurt.

"Thanks..." Carl said sheepishly and Negan pressed Carl up against the sink with a kiss as Carl felt fingers hook into his waistband.

"I'm not finished yet." Negan replied in a deep husky tone just before deepening the kiss to slip his tongue between Carl's lips as he worked to undo the tie on his pajamas and slip them down with his underwear, letting them fall to the floor.

Carl pulled back just an inch so he could catch his breath and he knew his cheeks were burning as he realised he suddenly felt very stiff lower down and there was no way Negan didn't feel it pressing against him.  
Negan grinned into another quick kiss before turning to the shower to cool down the steaming water.

"Get in, baby." Negan whispered against the top of his head and Carl obeyed wondering what he was doing after he helped him in and closed the curtain.

Carl hadn't heard him leave and he stood there, letting the water run onto his back as his mind went through what the man was possibly doing.   
Was he just there, outside the curtain if Carl needed him?  
Did he want to join him and then changed his mind?  
Was he-

The curtain moved then, startling Carl out of his thoughts and Negan stepped in, staring into his eyes as if to ask if he was ok with this.

Carl couldn't respond as he took in the full view of the man, seeing him completely for the first time.  
His fingers reached out to touch again, running over his chest as his eyes moved from lower down then up to those caring brown eyes.  
The boy smiled up at him as he took a step closer and wrapped his arms around his waist so Negan would just hold him.

He wanted to feel their bare skin pressed together.  
He needed that connection and he wanted to show the man that, yes, this was perfectly fine with him.

Neither said a word as they stood there, enjoying each other's closeness and just the feelings it brought up inside them.  
It was healing to them both to just stand there and neither had ever experienced such a deep bond with someone like this.

When Carl finally lifted his damp head from Negan's chest, the man avoided his eyes as if he was still unsure this had been the right decision.  
Carl leaned up on his toes slightly even though it made him wince to use the muscles in his torso and pressed a reassuring kiss to Negan's lips.

"I love you." Carl whispered, hoping to melt away any of the man's doubts.

Negan ran his strong hands up and down Carl's back as he continued to kiss him. "I love you too."

The taller man reached behind them then and turned up the warm water, guiding Carl back to stand under it for a minute, knowing it would help with his ribs.

Carl sighed closing his eyes, letting the man do what ever he wanted.  
He trusted him completely and he hoped that Negan was finally beginning to see that.

The warm spray of water hit the top of his head just as he leaned back to let his hair get soaked through.  
He felt Negan reach up and run his fingers through the strands while his right arm still held him around the middle for support.  
Carl turned and looked away as Negan's fingers glided over the scar that was left behind.

"...Don't." Carl tried to avoid him.

"Don't what?" Negan asked, cupping his face more firmly and making him meet his eyes.

"It's ugly...I don't want you to look at it."

"Carl," Negan leaned in to kiss him and pulled away only enough to where their foreheads pressed together. "Do you realize what word comes to mind when I look at you?"

Carl's face turned red as he brushed their noses together.

"Stunning." Negan said. "I have thought that every time I've looked at you since the moment we met. This happened after we met and I still think that when I see you."

Carl couldn't help a small smile that was morphing quickly into a much bigger one.

"Your scars are all on the outside, here," Negan said as he touched his face again before moving to run a hand down his shoulder blade on his back. "and here..." 

Carl nodded, giving him a shy but loving gaze.

"Mine are all on the inside," Negan brought Carl's hand up to lay on his heart. "and that hasn't seemed to change your mind about me...so why would your scars change mine about you?"

Carl really hardly ever felt emotional.   
He wasn't the kind of guy that cried or was in-tuned with himself like that but hearing Negan say those words made his eyes watery and Carl pulled Negan close again hoping the man would feel all of things he wanted to say that he couldn't put into words.

 

\-----

 

"Do you realize how hard it was to sneak all of this out of the kitchen?" Carl explained as he walked up to where Beth was sitting on a blanket beside a makeshift firepit. "Nice work, here though."

He sat down next to her taking out all of the vegetables and meat from his back pack and striking a match to heat up the pot.

"Thanks." She smiled. 

"You do realize it would've been easier to wait till the cook fixed dinner and then sneak that out instead."

"But then it wouldn't mean as much! Think Carl!"

Carl laughed loudly as she set to chopping up onions and other vegetables on the tray.

"Knowing Negan I don't think a 'home-cooked' meal is going to sway his opinion on you being pregnant. He's gonna eat his meal and then punish you and Simon."

"You're not helping!" She cried, chopping faster and he was afraid she was going to cut herself.

"Sorry...are you nervous?"

"To tell the scary man with the bat that his best friend-employee got me pregnant? Yes! But I'm hoping you can deflect some of that!"

"He's not a scary man..." Carl laughed, keeping a grin on his face that told Beth things had changed.

"Carl grimes! What are you not telling me?!"

"Nothing!"

"That smile isn't nothing, trust me...I know!"

Carl sighed.

"Well...Negan And I...I needed help earlier...getting in the shower with my ribs and...He may or may not have...joined me."

Beth gasped, giggling as she dropped her knife to place her hand over her mouth.

Carl shook his head at her.

"And if you repeat that I'll grab Lucille and turn into a scary man!"

"I'm so scared!" She cackled at his timid but furious expression.

"Totally serious now, carl, I'm glad you and Negan are getting closer."

Carl smiled, "Thanks. I am too."

 

\-----

 

"We got your notes..." Simon said, walking over to where they stood, placing his arms around Beth.

Negan had his raised eyebrow trained on Carl the whole time Beth babbled on about wanting to do something nice for them and they were so hard working and deserved it and- 

"What did you two do?" Negan asked, stopping her in her tracks. 

Beth blushed, stammering.

"Nothing!" Carl grinned as Negan tossed an arm around his shoulders, surprising him. "Beth does have something to tell you but...that can wait. Let's eat first."

"Eat?" Negan asked as Beth and Simon cuddled together on the blanket, getting settled in. "I thought you couldn't cook?"

"I was just the smuggler...She did all the cooking!"

"So this DID come from MY kitchen?" Negan raised a brow, staring directly into Carl's eyes that were only illuminated by the supreme set and the crackling embers. "Do we need to talk about what's yours and what's mine?"

"Well...I'm yours so, I guess that means I have right to just about anything else?" Carl blushed, grinning.

Negan couldn't help but grin.

"You're half correct."

"Only half?"

"The half about you being mine."

Negan surprised him with a kiss which he never expected in front of their friends.

Simon whistled loudly as Beth just grinned for a moment letting them be.

"C'mon, guys, the foods getting cold!" She finally said when they weren't separating.

Carl was beaming when he pulled back, nudging Negan to sit down next to him.

 

After they ate, Beth glanced at Simon and he knew she was more than ready to tell their little secret.  
Simon took the lead as they discussed.

"So, you remember when you said you weren't taking responsibility for Beth getting pregnant?" Simon said as Beth leaned over to rest on his arm.

Negan stared back at them both for a moment before covering his face in a state of stress.

"Please tell me you two aren't serious."

Carl looked up at him, placing a hand over Negan's that was resting possessively high on his thigh.

"They're serious." He said and Negan's head whipped in Carl's direction.

"You knew about this?!"

"Of course he knew! Carl's my best friend!" Beth giggled.

"I was there when she took her first test." Carl smiled.

"That was my next question." Said Negan as Simon leaned up to thank Carl for being there for Beth.

"So this is real?" Negan asked. "You're sure you're pregnant?"

Beth nodded against Simon's arm with a big grin on her face.

At this point she didn't care what his reaction was, she just wanted to enjoy this with Simon and tell anyone about their wonderful news.  
Simon on the other hand looked like he was hoping and praying that the ground underneath him would swallow him up while he waited for his punishment.

"You know what?" Negan let out a big sigh as he reached an arm over to his best friend. "Congratulations." 

Simon let out a sigh of relief as Negan patted his arm in a half hug while Carl and Beth shared a smile.

"You too, Beth." Negan added, surprising them all. 

"Thanks, Mr.Negan-" She beamed and he held up a hand to stop her.

"Hey, why don't we drop the formalities. Everything the four of us have been through, you're Carl's best friend and my best friend's girlfriend. I'd like to think I'm just Negan to you at this point."

Beth smiled over at the usually intimidating man. "Ok...Negan."

 

~

 

After the fire was dying down, Beth and Carl went down to talk by the lake, leaving Negan and Simon to their own conversations.

"That's nice to see." Simon said as he watched Negan watch Carl and beth down by the lake, on the dock with their feet in the water. "I want it to be like this all the time."

"Oh, what? them?" Negan asked, turning to his best friend.

"Well, yeah, that too," He said. "but no, I meant that smile you have when you look at Carl. You love him, don't deny it."

Negan turned to look at the other man seriously. "I won't."

Simon grinned, happy to see his best friend not pushing away good things in his life like he usually did.

"Infact I have something that could help Carl," Negan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small usb drive. "and I need you to look after it for me...it's one of few copies."

Simon's eyes were wide but he took it and buried it in his own pocket.

"Ok...you know it's safe with me."

Negan nodded. "I wouldn't give that to just anybody...you're probably the only other person I trust where Carl is concerned. I try to not let on how over protective I am with him but it's hard sometimes...you know how I am."

Simon nodded this time. "No, I get it. With the baby now I can barely stand to let Beth be this far away. I can't imagine letting her out of my sight. I could barely let that happen before. I guess we're in. Can't back out now even if we wanted to."

Negan shook his head. "Never."


	29. Something from Lucille

"Negan gave me the day off." Simon grinned proudly as he noticed Beth stretching like she always did when she first woke up.

"We can have breakfast than...go for a hike, have a picnic lunch or-"

As soon as Beth sat up, she took off straight the bathroom and it only took Simon a second to realize once he heard the awful sounds.  
He hurried after her, gathering her blonde hair in one of her bands he'd grabbed off the sink, settling in on the rug next to her just rubbing her back.  
As soon as the nausea passed, Beth sat back in his arms with a long deep breath.

"Or we can just stay in." He grinned kissing her on top of her head.

"I'm sorry, Simon." She groaned. "That sounded so nice,"

Simon shook his head. "No, darlin', don't be sorry! I'm more than happy to stay here, just the three of us!"

Beth giggled as her eyes watered and she dropped her head in her hands.

"What's wrong, bethy?!" He asked petting her hair to try and calm her, hating to see her cry.

"I don't even know!" She started laughing along with her tears and he chuckled too, pulling her back into his arms as he realized it must be the weird hormones kicking in.

It was going to be a long nine months.

A long wonderful nine months.

 

\-----

 

"You gonna be alright without me for a little while?"

Carl looked up from his plate as Negan was clearly getting ready to leave.  
It surprised him that he'd go out in such a hurry, so early but as Carl thought about it, he realised Negan had mentioned a meeting with his security team that he couldn't miss, when he'd suggested they stay in bed all day.  
The younger man had lost himself in his own concerns so many times in the last hour, he'd completely forgotten about that conversation.

"Oh, right...yeah, yes, definitely."

Negan raised his eyebrow, jingling his keys as he tossed Lucille over his right shoulder. "You sure?" He wanted to confirm as he leaned over for a kiss.

"Of course, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Carl forced a smile as he shifted in his chair, making his ribs cry out in pain.

"Alright...I shouldn't be more than a couple of hours. Try not to go too far outside the cabin if you can help it but I'll be in the front offices if you need me. You can always ring Sherry on the cabin line if you're desperate."

"You're leaving me alone, in your cabin, for a few hours, I know you know I've survived worse."

Negan chuckled, leaning over to drop another kiss on the top of his head.

"Yes..."

"You're just leaving it at that?"

Negan grinned devilishly. "Yeah...see you later!"

Carl grinned too, turning back to his food.

 

\-----

 

Negan's hand rubbed over his temple for the third time, if he was keeping count right, and Joey for the fifth time said the words; 'it's all good here.'

If he heard that one more time he was going to test out Lucille on something and it it ended up being his head of security, well...that wasn't technically his fault.

"You know, joseph, I don't think you get to decide what is 'safe' around here."

"I'm...not?" Joey ask taking a bite of his sandwich.

"No, that would be me." Negan said tapping his bat on the edge of the table. "And I am bringing in a new security system today. It is being installed as we speak and you're going to have to learn to read it, like it or not!"

The larger man jumped to his feet as Negan raised his voice.

"If you like it, learn it! If you don't, well...then I'll be looking for a new head of security, won't I? I think Dwighty boy's been lookin' for something here that's closer to his fiance. I could very easily hand the job over to him."

"I-I will try my best sir, mr.Negan! Sir!"

Negan patted his shoulder almost sending the man into a panic.

"Good answer!"

"But, sir,"

Negan turned around so he could mask the major eye roll he was using to keep from beating the holy hell out of something in the room.

"We um...we caught that creeper guy so...what's the point in more security?"

Negan sighed.

"Because, maybe just maybe I'm concerned about someone else and maybe just maybe, I. Make. The. Rules."

Joey nodded intensely. "Yes, sir. Have a good day, sir."

Negan eyed him but left the matter alone.

"Now, I am off to make my rounds, I'll be back when the installation is finished!"

 

\-----

 

Carl had been sitting next to the old shoe box on the bed for the last half hour.  
His leg would not stop bouncing as he sat on the edge, knowing Negan would walk in at anytime since the sun was almost down.  
He was more than ready to show the man the belongings that were owned by his beloved friend but he was nervous as to what Negan would say and how he would feel.  
He really needed to approach this carefully.

Carl's fingers closed around the tattered lid almost as if he wanted to soak up Lucille's strength from it.  
He wished she would give him a sign that would assure him that - yes, this is the right time to show him.

He let out a calming breath just as he heard the door click open and there was negan, staring, surprised to see Carl staring back.

"...Hey," Carl spoke softly, not wanting him to know anything was off.

Negan chuckled nervously and closed the door, locking it up for the night.

"You alright?" He asked, trying to hide how concerned he was.

"Yeah, I...uh, I just have something for you."

Negan's eyebrow raised and glanced at the thing next to him.

"well, damn, it's not even my birthday," Negan teased, taking off his leather jacket and hanging it on the hook. "What did I do to deserve a gift from you?"

Negan's eyes dropped to Carl's lap, "I've seen you with that box before." 

Carl shrugged and smiled weakly. "You deserve a lot of things." 

Negan cut him off there with a kiss.

"But this one isn't from me..."

"Oh god, it's not from Simon is it? I told him I wasn't mad at him! I'm happy for him! And Beth. Besides his gifts are always weird,"

Carl laughed, shaking his head as he made a mental note to ask him about that later. "Nope, this one's...from Lucille."

Negan's brow creased and his lips pursed as if he was warning Carl not to dare joke about that but quickly remembered the boy would never do that to him.

"Carl-"

"If you're not ready for this yet, I understand. I can just put it back in my backpack and we can forget-"

"No." Negan stopped him, placing a hand over his. "Something from Lucille? I wanna see it."

Carl took another deep breath. "I found this," he began, placing the box in Negan's lap. "When I was trapped in the cabin- in her cabin."

Negan held his gaze for a moment, letting his fingers glide across the lid before turning his attention on the box and opening it slowly.

Carl couldn't quite read his emotions at first when the thing he pulled out was the old baseball and rubbed his thumb over his own name.

"I can't believe she kept this." He whispered, taking a moment before he took out anything else.  
Just when Carl thought he might stare at it all night, he set it back down inside as he focused on something else.

Carl saw tears flood his eyes as he picked up two plastic toy soldiers, one in each hand and closed his fingers around them so hard Carl thought they might snap in half.  
One drop then two then a third on the bottom of the box of Negan's tears but he didn't seem to care.

"She...hated these." He bit out and Carl knew he didn't even want to look at them right now as he set them aside on the overturned lid.

Carl smiled at the bitter laughter that came next.

"And I hated these," he admitted scooping up the tattered colorful cloth bracelets on the bottom.

"You still wear the one on your back pack that Simon made you." Carl pointed out.

"Yeah, well...what can I say? I wasn't about to take him for granted after I lost Luci."

Carl nodded, attempting to stand up but Negan grabbed his arm.

"I was going to leave you alone with the rest." He offered. "I feel like it should at least be Simon here instead of me."

Negan shook his head. "Don't, I don't think-" he swallowed hard. "I can't do this without you. She wanted you to find this, Carl. She would want you to be here for this. I...need you to be here for this."

Carl gave him a small supportive smile and leaned on his shoulder as Negan turned his attention back to the box.

"This one's my favorite." Carl said softly, picking up the small locket.

Negan smiled again but it quickly turned into a frown. "She always wore this. I wonder why she took it off?"

He picked up a tiny statue of a girl with a cat next.

"That one reminded me of my sister." Carl chuckled.

Negan smiled fondly, glancing over at the little grey toy that was a constant on his dresser now.

"Yeah...that's funny, she thought this was good luck too."

Negan ran his hand over the bottom of the dusty box, along the rocks and the marbles and little glass pieces she'd obviously collected here and Carl figured he'd hear about them one day but when Negan's eyes noticed the three pieces of paper standing against the side he was entranced.

Carl watched as he teared up again, sniffling as he stared at the first photo.

The one of the girl on the picnic table out front. 

"This..." His voice broke as Carl's heart did for him. "This is her-this is Lucille."

Carl rubbed his back as he beamed.  
He'd guessed that the first time he'd seen it but never could be sure, not without Negan's confirmation.

"I've never had a picture of her." He whispered.

Carl could feel his shoulders so tense and he rubbed over his spine hoping he would just let out all of his feelings.  
This was around three decades in the making.  
It was time for Negan to be at peace with this.

Carl listened as he gasped at the second photo, even covering his mouth in shock.

"This is me and Luci together..." He said. "The other one is Simon."

"You were cute back then too." Carl teased. "You owned this place...I can tell."

"Maybe If I hadn't been so egotistical...she'd still be here."

"Don't go there." Carl said. "This is a happy moment. You and I both know she would never blame you for that, probably for anything, ever."

Negan gave him a smile and Carl reached up to dry a stray tear.  
Negan clearly didn't want him to see that and avoided his eyes.

"Don't hide...not from me." Carl whispered, leaning in for a kiss before handing him the last thing in the box; the envelope.

Negan was stunned, not expecting that.

"I didn't read it. I am going to leave you alone with this one...I'll be right over here if you need me."

Carl left Negan on the bed to stare at his name on the envelope as if it were written yesterday.  
It felt like forever that he watched him just look and consider and worry and wonder and-

As soon as Carl heard slow, gentle tear of the envelope, he turned and set to warming up some leftovers knowing they needed to eat but knew Negan wasn't up for cooking tonight.

He didn't blame him.

He was barely up for eatting.

 

\-----

 

"Ok, I have chicken fingers, strawberry ice cream and the hot pickles you asked for." Simon announced as he entered the cabin with the arm load.

Beth bounced off the bed, giggling as she beamed at him before rushing over and grabbing the jar of pickles and a fork and settled in with that for now.

Simon just stared at her in awe and wondered how the whole cravings thing worked and decided he didn't really want to know.

"...Thank you." She said eventually as he sat across from her at the small table with his own dinner.

He chuckled, assuring her that she didn't have to thank him and that he'd do anything for her and the baby.  
She stared across the table at him for a second as she swallowed the large bite and her eyes teared up involuntarily.

"Are you...sure?" She asked.

"What do you mean, bethy, of course I'm sure!"

"I'm sure this wasn't what you bargained for!"

Simon chuckled as his memory took him to the first day of camp this season and then to the first day he met her.

"I hadn't planned on falling in love, no. Who does?!" He shrugged. "But I wasn't about to let you get away. I'm a smart man!"

Beth started giggling as he took her hand in his and then her laughter was turning into tears

"Don't cry darlin'..." He offered coming around to put an arm around her.

She nodded, sniffling and she tried to say something to him but the only word he could make out was 'stupid hormones'.

Simon laughed again and invited her to sit on his lap while they ate.

"And I want you to know that I want to be here for every tear and crazy food request or hormone fluctuations you have."

Beth giggled and turned around to kiss him, letting him taste the sweetness from the pickles on her lips.

"Really?"

"Really."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

He was silent for a minute while she scarfed down two or three bites of ice cream, even dipping the chicken in it too. 

"What's the weirdest thing your sister's wanted so far?" He asked, hoping to prepare himself some.

Beth laughed louder than he'd ever heard her laugh before.

"The week before I left for camp, she made her husband, Glenn, go three towns over to get her a jar of honey only made by a certain guy...to dip jalapeno chips in."

"Ok...three towns over? That's not too bad, I'd go atleast five towns over for you." He grinned.

"This was at three o'clock in the mornin'."

 

\-----

 

Carl glanced over at Negan more times than he could count as the man sat in the same place reading and rereading the letter from Lucille.  
He had already sworn to himself that he never was going to pry when it came to the last words Negan had from her.  
That was so special and he loved to have been able to give that to him.  
If- when Negan wanted to tell him about it he would be happy to listen but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't itching to know what was on that piece of paper.

Carl had fixed Negan a plate of food after he ate and then began getting ready for bed since it was going on 10:30.

As soon as Carl swallowed his two Advil for the night, he headed back over to the bed and realised Negan had finally put down the letter but still held the old photos from Lucille's box in his hand.

When he heard Carl coming back to join him he immediately began rubbing his eyes and slipped the photos into the drawer in his nightstand.

"Don't stop on my account." Carl offered, sitting down on his side of the bed and giving him a look.

Negan focused his watery eyes on the wall across the room or atleast on anything that wasn't Carl.  
He let out a long drawn out sigh and for a moment Carl let him collect his thoughts.  
Laying down in the bed close but not too close, just wanting to be there for Negan when he was ready.

Carl was resigned to the fact that he thought they were just going to lay there the rest of the night in silence but eventually Negan attempted at a coherent sentence.

"It's...been years." Negan finally said. 

Carl turned his head to the right to look over at the other man, staring up at the wood grain ceiling.  
He saw instantly the wet shiny streak down the crease of his eye disappearing into his hair line.  
He knew the love the man had for his best friend and he understood that he could finally grieve her properly.

"I am a grown-ass man...what the fuck am I doing,"

Negan draped a hand over his eyes wanting to stop crying.  
He hated Carl seeing him like this and he felt so foolish even though Lucille's memory deserved a tear or two.  
Carl's smaller, soft fingers threaded with his as he felt the pain he was in.  
He hated that that was all he could do to help but at least he knew Negan knew he wasn't alone even if he felt that way.

"It happened years ago, Carl. She didn't even get to grow up into an adult! We were just...camp friends." Negan bit out.

Carl hated seeing Negan like this, In so much pain.  
So much pain that he couldn't as hard as he might try, never fully take away.  
He also hated watching him try to cover the hurt he felt.  
Negan had suppressed these memories for so long that it was more difficult to handle them all at once.

"It's ok to miss her, you know?" Carl offered only gaining another sigh. "In fact, probably more so now than ever. Lucille was special to you...IS special to you. Don't do that, don't hurt yourself more by pretending like she didn't mean the world to you."

He watched as Negan drifted off again, he assumed down memory lane and he knew that usually that wasn't the smartest thing for the man to do.  
He wasn't the type to pick the good memories.

"YOU mean the world to me." Negan said suddenly, surprising Carl.

He wasn't sure what to say to that.

"I-...Negan, that's different. If Lucille was your sister and you lost her no one would think anything of your emotions. She practically was like family by the sounds of it? Your relationship with Simon doesn't effect us. My love for my sister doesn't effect us."

"I love little Judith..." Negan smiled, making Carl smile too.  
He reached over, letting his fingers play with Carl's as he gathered his thoughts. "I just didn't want you to think that I was spending too much time mourning her when I have the best thing that's ever happened to me right here, all the time."

"I'm not mad at Lucille...I want to thank her." Carl explained with a grin.

Negan reached beside him from between the night stand and the bed.

"Here you go...here she is, she's waiting..."

Carl beamed, resting his chin on Negan's chest before reaching for the bat and grasping the handle himself, right above Negan's hand, rubbing his thumb of the skin of his knuckles as he spoke.

"Thank you, Lucille," Carl began, "You don't really know me but I'm Carl Grimes. I know more about you than you probably knew about yourself because of this guy," he nudged Negan in the side as the older man chuckled in embarrassment. "I want to Thank you for leading me to your friend Negan because I'm pretty positive it was you all along. It shows me that something good can come from bad just as it did with him losing you and learning to help these kids here. He deserves to be happy and I hope I'm the one that can give that to him...I really, really want to be that person," Carl paused giving a side glance at Negan who was drowning in his internal emotions. "I promise to be loyal to him and take care of him just like you would. I love him very much and I won't take for granted what you sacrificed for him and I will honor your life everyday with him if he'll let me."

Carl turned to meet Negan's eye just as the man moved the hand that had been resting on his back, up to wipe a tear before grasping the back of his neck to pull him in for a deep kiss.  
It was the kind of kiss that took Carl's breath away.  
The kind that, until recently, Negan had been hesitant to give.

"Have I ever told you how-fucking-much I love you?"

Carl grinned into the kiss, knowing Negan wasn't finished with him yet.

"Kind of...but I'm willing to hear all about it again."


End file.
